What are you going to do with your $1000 stimulus?

And then I'll say, "I am very rich, BITCH!"

What are Cockgobbler's rates? Since we're all going to die, why not?

Take $500 of it and buy a used washer and dryer.

I heard they are going to give you 1/2 now and 1/2 later. What is the criteria to receiving the money?

Make sure you say it like this, op...

I doubt everyone is getting a check

Puttin' a downpayment on my welfare Cadillac, y'all!

Again, I don't need the money but it will go into my portfolio. EVERYONE, please save for your later years - you don't want to be old and destitute.

Nene should be printed on each CV check and food stamp card

getting a little ahead of yourself aren't you? They haven't announced how much and who is going to receive it. Shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch......

I’m not getting one. :(

Only the poor will get a check. OP must be poor.

r11 why? are you a millionaire?

Not anymore!

I'm going to Disney---, oh wait, nevermind. Buy toilet paper I guess.

R12 OP is a poor.

R8 If 1000 is goinf to significantly alter your savings, then you are going to be poor and destitute anyway.

1000 for me will be a nice treat, however I am fine without it. I am still working and even if I do eventually have to stay home, I will continue to be paid.

However, I feel bad for restaurants, bars, and the service industry in general. If I do get 1000 I will spend most of it. Maybe gift cards for restaurants, maybe advanced lessons with a personal trainer or music lessons. I want to help stimulate the economy.

Twitter is lighting up. Apparently Nancy Pelosi wants to means test who gets the money.

well as everyone is making clear on this thread, there probably should be an income cutoff for this. clearly the rich twats don't need it, but there are many people who may not go homeless because of it. So good.

I can't believe it's not Buttar.

Is the stimulus per household or per tax filer?

OP the play on RHOA was brilliant. I loved it. LOL

I am doing well, I don't need it. I will split it in half and give it to two friends I know will need it more than I do. One is a friend who is retired, but still working because she needs to pay off her mortgage. The other to a friend who works as a bartender in Las Vegas and was worried she would lose her livelihood. Sure enough, all the casinos in Vegas are now closed.

My family is doing well, no one needs it. My parents are retired and invested well and have several properties, my brother has done well for himself, he's better off than I am for being a fulltime musician. My extended family can take care of themselves.

Won't it basically be a loan that you're going to have to repay when you file your taxes next year?

R23 That's a good attitude.

[quote]Won't it basically be a loan that you're going to have to repay when you file your taxes next year?

If we're lucky. We might be expected to buy a Mar a Lago membership down the road.

2 days ago there was no mention of anyone getting money. Today everyone is up in arms because Pelosi is holding up their free money.

Did you know that in the last bill passed it tok a few days because the Republicans had stuck some abortion crap into it

Will probably save it for a vacation when this is over. Vaguely altruistic for helping a hurting industry - maybe? Had to cancel my first vacation in 6 months next week. Understand but it’s a bummer.

R27 And yesterday resident 'turd in the punchbowl' Rand Paul stuck some ending the war in Afghanistan bullshit in there which slowed down the process. I'm sure it was deliberate, to give the evil GOP more time to fuck around with it and insert more tax cuts and giveaways for the super rich.

figures, r27, and it's infuriating knowing that cunt Mitch McConnell wouldn't do jacksquat if this were a Democratic president. But this is the world we live in. I do think Nancy should play a little hardball here. Hold out for HER bill, and for a Democratic bill. Do not let these fuckers roll her. The blame actually will fall on Trump, the Fuckup President, and the Fuckup Republicans in the Senate. Hold out for what you want. There is actually no political price the Democrats will pay here, none. Put in what you want, take out what every Republican asshole wants.

Will this be Trump's version of the "Obama Phone"? Will the right send around memes about Trump's free money?

I'm guessing no, r31. I'm guessing they will be ordered by Rush and Sean Hannity and a thousand deeply principled "moral leaders" to love and worship this particular stimulus. There will be no backlash from the lovers of the constitution, the haters of socialism, the people who know that there are makers and takers, on this particular stimulus.

I hope they don't distribute these checks like they do foodstamps after hurricanes. In Florida they make everyone stand in line for hours, with people spending the night so they can be first. That shit will not work during the contagion.

well most homes are still standing r33, and there is a working postal service, for now, so, mail, I'm guessing.

What a kind and thoughtful person you are R23. This world needs more like you right now.

[quote]What are Cockgobbler's rates? Since we're all going to die, why not?

He's cute, but I'm only into tops.

[quote] I’m not getting one. :(

I got a rock.

Are they Trump checks, or Pelosi checks?

Neither, at the moment, R38, since it's still under discussion. If Congress goes along with the document from the Treasury Department it would be:

[quote]This provision would authorize and appropriate funds for two rounds of direct payments to individual taxpayers, to be administered by the IRS and Bureau of the Fiscal Service.

[quote]$250 billion to be issued beginning April 6

[quote]$250 billion to be issued beginning May 18

Note also that:

[quote]Payment amounts would be fixed and tiered based on income level and family size. Treasury is modeling specific options.

So not everyone would get a check.

The Trump administration is pushing over two trillion dollars in various proposals, most of which are expected to pass in one form or another. Contrast Congressional Republican actions and rhetoric today vs. what they did and said when the Obama administration was dealing with a similar economic meltdown.

Dems actually should set up some plan for ALL future pandemics. Republicans will never do shit about shit when it comes to anything when a Democratic president is in charge. Democrats, the only party that cares about actual lives of actual people, needs to get this shit nailed down, now or never.

If I get one, I may try to get my car fixed. I don't think I will get it.

I'm giving it to my niece. She's a stay-at-home mother for four-month-old baby right now, and her husband is a tattoo artist in Arizona. No one wants a tattoo during a pandemic, so they're going to be very broke.

I won't get any, because I am too poor.

I won't get any, because I am too poor.

you actually WILL get any, because you are poor. what is happening here? why is everyone losing there fucking equanimity?

Good research, R39.

[quote] two rounds of direct payments to individual taxpayers, to be administered by the IRS

That means people who owe taxes, are shit out of luck.

there should be their. the important thing.

The Oh Dear bitch needs to take a break during these trying times.

NEVER

I'm sending it directly to Biden's campaign...its the best investment anyone can make at this point.

I'll be using all of it to purchase buckets of end times slop from Jim and Lori Bakker. You can use them as a toilet when you're done eating the slop!

Sure, r51.

A weave, my nails did, a bucket of Popeye's, a bottle of Ripple* and a room at the Motel 8.

Oh you are going to drink the hard stuff R54. Are you going to get the chocolate, vanilla or no flavor Ripple?

I'm going to wipe my ass with it since I still can't find toilet paper anywhere.

If this is true I would be able to buy a new TV. Mine went out a few months ago (26 years that little war horse lasted) and I thought I could save a little and get a new one but things have been just too tight. Old and poor is the worst possible combo. How did I know I'd make it to old age? All signs pointed otherwise. Friggin' fickle finger of fate.

R57 - as long as you had a good 60-70 years, I guess there is something to be grateful for. I’m planning on dying at 70. If I have a few more poor years, I’m ok with it. I refuse to waste my 50s in a miserable job and die at 65 like my father. I’ll take my chances at being 80 and living on $1,000/month.

TRUMP. CHECKS. Hunty.

I'm a rich bitch!

I'm going to Disneyland!

No you're not [R60] - Disneyland is closed!!!

These dumb broads at the job are saying we will have to pay the money back. GURL BYE

I'm not going to count any chickens just yet. Congress is going to fuck this up and not pass the stimulus.

[quote]I got a rock.

[quote]—Charlie Brown

R37, I can’t thank you enough. I burst out laughing and haven’t stopped yet. I really really needed a good laugh this morning as this has not been a good day.

You’re the reason I come here.

Smell r54. She goin to the Motel 8.

Don’t nobody got time for that shitty Motel 6 where Tom Bodet done turned off the lights.

R59 and r60 are so drunk with power over their $1K they didn’t read the thread.

Nancy Pelosi will make sure that nobody gets a $1000 check.

WRONG, R67!

So when do we get these TRUMP CHECKS?

Hmmmm????

Same as I spend my paycheck on: booze and male hoors.

Millionaires and billionaires decided that the peasants could get a measly $1k to survive for an indefinite period of time. Just think about that.

Many poor people on this thread getting their grand I paid for with my taxes. You’re welcome! I won’t see a dime of it.

Oh fank you, Sugar Daddy!

Pot!

Are medical marijuana dispensaries still open, R73?

I earn 90K and will still get the $1200 + $500.

You should get nothing, R75.

You make too much damned money.

I did not make the rules, but will take the money.

[quote] Millionaires and billionaires decided that the peasants could get a measly $1k to survive for an indefinite period of time. Just think about that.

Indeed. No member of Congress is eligible to receive a check. They want to give you $1200 and get your ass back to work after Easter.

Nothing. I make over the limit.

I won't get one, but my partner will get the full $1200.

He's going to pay down credit card debt with it, unlike masses who will blow it all on cheap trinkets made in the land that gave us COVID-19 that will end up in their garage by September.

Put a down-payment on something divine and very 18th century from L'Antiquaire and the Connoisseur.

Newsflash to all of you complainers who make more than 75k a year:

It’s wrong to gloat that more successful people won’t receive anything.

Newsflash R82, we're just whining. $1,200 is nothing to us.

I spent that much last weekend and could do it again this one and the next.

Sorry you're poor. Not.

might buy some airline stock

[quote]I spent that much last weekend and could do it again this one and the next.

Onlyfans subscriptions and Chaturbate tokens. Gotta support the whores

If people don’t know what to do with it, they could give it back to the federal government and reduce the large cuts we’ll need in future government spending to make up for all the borrowing.

R86 The economy does, you're welcome.

[quote] If people don’t know what to do with it, they could give it back to the federal government

Yeah.

Like that's EVER gonna happen.

Everyone will give their stimulus back on the 2021 income tax filings. You can bet your sweet bippy on that.

It actually becomes part of your total income, R91.

Therefore, you'll probably end up giving back about a third of the "stimulus."

Pay bills.

Car insurance, medical premium, utilities.

There. $1200 all gone.

I can tick the Harman/Kardon box on my new BMW order! I’ll have a couple hundred left to buy some good single malt.

How do people get this??? How do they know if someone has relocated? I've seen very little on the details of how to get this.

R95: Last bank account or address on file, unless you tell them your new bank account/address. The same way they send tax refund checks.

But Dump wants to his signature on CHECKS so we’ll never see the $$$.

R95, if you moved, didn’t you notify the post office so they can send your mail to your new address?

And if you’re still using the same bank account that you e-filed in either 2018 or 2019, then they’ll send it there.

R94 if you qualify for a stimulus check you definitely do not merit ordering a BMW.

You are guaranteed to be one of the poors on here at 55 wondering why you have $250 saved for retirement.

And, yes, you will reach 55.

R99 fuck off. My lease will only be $399 a month.

If it's signed by Trump, I assume it will bounce so I'll just toss it.

Rofl R101!

So true.