Should elderly go to grocery store

Check out and see if any grocery stores in your area are implementing seniors only shopping hours and drive her to the store then. But, you probably won't be allowed in with her.

Lock her up!

Your mommy is 67? I'm 68. Fuck you, OP.

You are absolutely correct, OP, but I don't know if you'll have much success convincing your mother. Good luck.

Where I live certain grocery chains are only letting seniors in until 11am or noon, and then they're open to the general public.

People with the attitude of your mother is how viruses are spread.

She's a drunk, a tramp, and an unfit mother.

R6 Fuck you. Mom isn't the one spreading this virus. She's been home and in her own neighborhood. It's younger people spreading it around. Travel is the big thing. Mom hasn't been anywhere except in her own home.

She really should stay home. If she is getting massive cabin fever, taking walks should be fine, although I wouldn't at a time and place where it's crowded with pedestrians.

No R8 but she can easily pick it up in the store. You want to avoid high traffic areas.

"67" is senior, not elderly...carry on

R8, mom has been in her own home until now, when she insists on going out into a crowd of strangers, some of whom may have traveled and/or been exposed to the disease in other ways. If she catches the virus at the supermarket, she'll likely transmit it to her husband when she goes home (not to mention anyone else she encounters during her trip). Hospitals are already becoming too full so, if she and/or her husband requires treatment, it will be at the expense of someone else who must be displaced to make room. Eventually, doctors will be so overwhelmed by the volume of patients, they'll be forced to decide which patient to treat and they'll probably choose to save younger patients who are more likely to recover and survive longer than people who are the age of mom and her husband.

Mom is being selfish and should listen to OP, who knows what he's talking about.

Better safe than sorry, OP. And since that's an old saying, it might resonate with her. Try it!

Why are seniors/elderly so stubborn?

Is she a Trump supporter? If so, let her go.

Does she watch Fox News?

The only people who should stay home are the ones who can’t efficiently use the self checkout.

I’m an RN and I do not think you’re being a irrational. People are not taking this seriously enough! You want to protect your parents. Sometimes people just won’t listen.

r18, maybe you can answer this? Is 'senior hour' at the grocery store a good idea then and should they go? The grocery store ritual is so important to my Mother for some reason and I've noticed it with other seniors as well.

I'm not R18, but there's a reason why the CDC is telling people over 60 to stay home.

Day gloves and big, floppy sun hats are sure to offer protection from Corona. All the ladies in my auxiliary club are immune.

This senior, 77, hates the grocery store right now. It is full of crazy shoppers grabbing everything off the shelves. Of course we have 2 weeks supply of food.

OP, darling, I am 68. Come do my shopping. Your mother is not just diabetic, not just stubborn, but also cray cray.

Sorry to hear it, OP. It's incredibly frustrating to have a background like yours and have people act the ass in front of you by disrespecting your valid concern, and your own mother, no less. I faced a similar dilemma and had to leave the home I share because I don't want to take that chance.

We all have the right to decide what is good for ourselves, but right now, if you live with someone, you don't have that right anymore.

Get out your dad out. Tell her this is what you'll do if she insists on going to give her the opportunity to come to her senses, but don't hesitate and get him out the minute she defies you again.

Is she just trying to get you to visit? Where is she? I can understand her attitude if she’s in a fairly rural area, or even a suburban area of a small inland city.

Is she wanting to go to stock up, or does she want to keep going indefinitely?

My father never wanted to hear advice from me, much less take it. I'm a lawyer and he would sometimes (not often) ask me a legal question because he liked to get information without having to pay for it -- then he'd argue with me about why the law shouldn't be the way I told him it was (probably doubting that I was right). On any other subject, he wouldn't even listen to my opinion and would sometimes just leave the room or turn the TV on while I was talking. He always viewed me as a child, so I had no credibility with him no matter how old and well-educated I became. Of course, his "real" advisors (doctors, lawyers, accountants, plumbers, exterminators, painters, mechanics, roofers, gardeners, etc.) were all much younger than he was, but he'd seek their advice and follow it.

Do her shopping for her, by all means. But get her and your father out of the house: they're probably going stir-crazy. I used to take my folks out every weekend for a drive in the country, and it was a wonderful time for all three of us, just chatting and hoping to spot a deer or a heron.

OP, can I be your daddy?

R19 i’m not crazy about that idea either. The best option would be grocery delivery. That way you don’t put yourself or your parents at an unnecessary risk.

Troll-dar reveals at r5 OP is actually [italic]talking to himself:[/italic]

[quote] People with the attitude of your mother is how viruses are spread.

[quote]I used to take my folks out every weekend for a drive in the country,

Were your folks puppies?

I have no idea of the whereabouts of my 80 year old Mother minute to minute.

If I told her not to go shopping she'd tell me to fuck off and go anyway.

Damn.

Mom is hardcore.

R31, No, silly. It's just that my parents had chronic illnesses, and getting out of the house and out of the city for a few hours was important to all of us. I still miss them terribly.

R34,

*wink*

R30 : That wasn't me, weirdo.

I am also not the OP.

OP, elder gay here. I'm 67, live in a major American city, and have no option but to do my own shopping. I tried using Amazon Fresh. So this morning I got to the grocery store (big American chain store but NOT a mega store like Costco) at 5:50am. They opened at 6. There were less than a dozen people waiting. The store shelves were orderly and there were workers stocking shelves. (They had TP, Clorox Wipes and paper towels!) I did my shopping (for myself and an elderly neighbor) and was out of the store in 40 minutes. The store was still relatively quiet when I left. The people in the checkout lane all kept respectful distances. If your mom still insists on going, perhaps taking her when the store first opens is a reasonable compromise. Seeing for herself that some shelves are empty may convince her this is serious. I would avoid the mega super stores. The local chain stores are making an effort to keep shelves stocked. Personally, I believe the shopping situation is going to get much more difficult in 7-10 days, especially if more cities issue "shelter in place" edicts.

My mom is 68 and equally stubborn. Compounding it, she doesn't drive so she's getting around on public transportation. I called her today and she answers from the fucking train station. Her excuse was going to pick up prescription. Fair enough but how about all the other days when you weren't picking up medicine. I'm 3,000 miles away but my brother lives about an hour away from her. The only days she has stayed in were rainy ones. I fucking hope it rains every day for the next month. Unfortunately, she lives in sunny SoCal.

Your Mom takes the train in Southern Cal R39? If she uses the light rail in Los Angeles she’s pretty brave!

[quote] I fucking hope it rains every day for the next month. Unfortunately, she lives in sunny SoCal.

R39, you might be in luck. It's been raining off and on for days here and it's expected to continue.

The virus is mild if you're healthy (sniffles, scratchy throat, fever...) and egregious if you're old and/or unhealthy (painful, debillitating fatigue, trouble breathing, diarrhea, pneumonia, death...).

I believe these seemingly youngish and "healthy" victims have undiagnosed or undisclosed medical issues. Cancer, HIV, COPD, etc.

[quote] diarrhea

This is the myth that started the great toilet paper shortage of 2020.

Depends, OP. Is mother rich?

The OP is probably a troll, but if not he's a paranoid dipshit. What does he want his mother to do, stay locked up in the basement. It would probably be good for her to get our and going to the grocery store isn't taking a monumental risk. It's not like she wants to go on a cruise or something.

R30 No, it's R6 you meant to bust. Now go apologize to R5.

R6 is still busted, though.

Modern grocery stores deliver. And a big chain in my area just announced early bird hours for seniors only so they’re less exposed.

I went and it was full of people, not too much on the shelf? Why are people hording?

Yes, R47. Giant here in the Philadelphia area just announced this. The entire chain will only be open from 6AM to 10PM, with 6AM to 7AM reserved for shoppers over the age of 60.

They're also limiting quantities of paper goods and disinfectants to 2 each to a customer.

[quote] OP, elder gay here. I'm 67, live in a major American city, and have no option but to do my own shopping.

R38 , the difference is that OP seems willing & able to shop & deliver groceries to his mother. Good luck to you. I hope you stay healthy!

OP Your mother has probably already gone out clubbing and barhopping. I think I saw her at one of the gay bars, drinking tequila shots.

I think my child should shop for me but he would not get me any chocolate.

[quote] not too much on the shelf?

Are you asking us?

[quote]I think I saw her at one of the gay bars, drinking tequila shots.

Wait, I think I saw her too. Was she the one going “WOOOO HOOOOOOO”?

R40, brave, stupid, stubborn, some combo...I grew up in LA before trains and moved away just as the Gold Line was starting up. I enjoy visiting and using the trains, it is such a novelty. I have never not had a loco/creepy episode on the Blue Line.

I wish we had trains as a kid--because my mom didn't drive, we were completely reliant on buses. Before Maps, Transit, Ride Sharing, etc.

Same here r26, and same here op.

My parents are both over 75, have compromised immunities and my mother is not listening to anyone.

I phone and yell At her to stay in the house every day, I don’t care if I’m bugging her.

Omg! You are brave to take the blue line R55! What rail line does your mother take? Does she ever have any problems with people on the rail?

So many 68+ Eldertwinks on DL. I love you all.

R57, you are making me laugh. I have taken the Blue Line a handful of times because of a friend in Long Beach. Yeah, each time I ride it, I wonder if the craziness is daily--what a commute for those who ride it to work every day. My mom takes the Gold Line and she hasn't reported anything yet. There's the elevator used as a toilet for some people, but with the homeless population, I'm guessing that's expected.

If it was up to me, I wouldn't rent but just stick with public transportation and ride sharing for my home visits. But I usually rent a car to help my mom out and stock up all the household items. That's why she didn't have to shop lately--we usually get enough for about 6 months because I usually visit 2X annually.

Dear EST, uhm, OP.

Break your mom's legs. If she can't walk she won't be able to go to the store and get infected with the Coronavirus. Broken bones heal (since you mom is old it may take a little bit longer). You mom will forgive you one day. Moms always do. Especially since you did it for a good reason, not because you're a sociopath asking DL for permission to prevent your mom to live her life and make her own mistakes she would have to live with for the rest of her short, remaining life.

Well, CA is closing down and the weather forecast for LA is rain over the next week. Hopefully Ma will stay home for awhile.

[quote] Should elderly go to grocery store?

The help needs to go to the grocery store for me. I don’t care if they’re elderly or not. No concern of mine as long as I have my Froot Loops in the morning.

No, I"m not going to get a blog.

So would you fly to your elderly parent's city/area so you can help them if they become ill AND before domestic travel goes on lockdown?

Was talking to a friend and she asked if I had thought about going now. And you know, I hadn't and now I CAN'T stop thinking about it. Complications include I have pets and I don't really have a place to stay if I do go back. Mom lives in a one bedroom and that's not enough distancing should she or I get sick. And finally, what if I bring the virus in?

[quote]The help

[quote]Froot Loops

One of these does not belong.

Why, r64?

While we may be high class and have money, sometimes we like to live like the common, little people. We do so enjoy a nice bowl of sugary cereal now and again.

Younger people in my neighborhood in Santa Monica have joined up to volunteer shop for seniors. They posted this on Nextdoor..com which is an excellent website that gets people in their local neighborhoods together. See if nextdoor where you live or your parents live has people volunteering to shop for seniors in their neighborhood. I'm oldish but don't have kids so I have to take care of myself (or take advantage of nice people volunteering to help). I can't afford to be childish like all of your parents since I don't have children to "parent" me. There's a whole article about this phenomenon of parents needing to be chided by their children in a recent New Yorker. Haven't read it yet but it seems to be quite common.

My mother is 78 and its been a battle royal to keep her from going out. But I drive her everywhere so I always win.She also refuses to see the seriousness of the situation and Im tired of arguing with her about it so I just dont. its definitely changed the dynamics of our relationship somewhat ,but too bad. I should have put my foot down years ago on a lot of things.

R66, yes, it's a role reversal late in life. I am so pissed at my mom that I gave up pleading, nagging and threatening her to stay home. I just told her she was stupid and ended the call.

We went to Ralphs (We're in an affluent town in northern LA county) at 0740 this am; there were already ten customers waiting; I used gloves/mask and was absolutely shocked when we finally got in-- (Capacity controlled) EVERYTHING was cleaned out--dairy, meat, frozen, bread . . . I did manage to cobble together a few things like the last few cartons of milk, OJ, fake meat in the meat dept, the last couple of sourdough/wheat loaves; produce was light but a little better . . . my partner waited in the car due to underlying conditions--I wouldn't let him in there under any circumstances . . . so of course Ralphs NOW has senior hours starting at 0700 . . . the one thing I'm distressed over is not being able to get the 2 pound Peet's Major Dickason's coffee beans on Costco.com, it seems to come & go--I hope this situation starts to level out because I thought the stories I was hearing were overblown, but it's true! It felt like the Soviet-era markets that we've heard so much about! Scary & disappointing! In the USA?

WTF?

Have you all never heard of delivery services?

Instacart, Fresh Direct, Amazon Fresh and local options.

I'm 35 and fuck all if I'm setting foot in a supermarket till this is over.

OP You're missing a great opportunity. Let her go.

Then when she gets the virus, you can tell her "I told you so, MOTHER" as she lays dying.

lies dying

[quote] We're in an affluent town in northern LA county

Well I’m glad you included this parenthetical. Without it your story would’ve made NO sense.

Oh, I pray for you to get your coffee, too.

You crack me up about 67 being elderly. My mom is also 67 and she's more youthful than I am.

OK R74 What should we call people just below elderly? She’s not middle-aged and she’s not elderly. So what is the correct term?

I tried to do an Instacart order and it didn’t have any time slots available.

If they are going to hoard toilet paper, I may attack them.

I read something somewhere (here on DL?) that if you're 60-70, you're a "senior," and if you're over 70, you're "elderly."

Which brings me to my second point: I'm 61 but I look about 10 years younger (yeah, whatever) -- so if I go to the "senior" shopping hours, how will they know I'm really a senior? Is someone going to "card" me?

Trump is an elder, he should stay in Palm Beach and party...spring break is a week long and the old man should go and enjoy himself.

R74, "elderly" is a medical term of art. For example, a woman whose first pregnancy occurs after she's 35 is called an "elderly primigravida", although our society would not consider a 35 year old of either sex to be "elderly".

[quote] is called an "elderly primigravida",

I think I had that at an Italian restaurant once.

Then there's the lovely dermatological term of art, "senile keratosis" for those crazy gorgeous little (or big) red spots some people get on their forearms. They ARE demented. Comes from thinning skin.

Tell her to go super early in the day, about 6 or 7 am, but it begins to get crowded. And to wash her hands when she gets home before even putting away the groceries. And then to wash them again after she's done putting them all away.

She probably prefers to do her own shopping, let her.

Loved Cuomo's answer about 140,000 beds and 30,000 ventilators--based on data and projection and not opinion and desires. So clearly delineating his approach from Trump's haphazardly stupid whimsies.

Obviously, the wrong thread, innit?

Doesn’t matter, r86, I love you for using this:

[quote] innit?

Can you have her stuff?

I used to think having an elderly mentally-ill shut-in for a mother was a burden, but now that there's a pandemic going on... it gives me peace of mind to know that she won't be hobnobbing about in public. I used to hate arranging her grocery deliveries, but now it's one less thing to worry about.

Here in Norway the advice is for the elderly to stay home as much as possible. They recommend that family or friends by them groceries.

My 73 year old mother wants to go to Passover dinner next week! There’s going to be 20 people there and a baby! I told her absolutely not. She will not listen to me. What the hell is her problem? I can’t believe people are considering gathering for Passover at a time like this.

r91 This Pesach will not be pesadich.

Mother still going out...on public transportation. Hand sanitizing wipe packages remain unopened. So that's a great combo.

Yes, but 1st... Term Life. High policy amount. 30 day wait.

I thought the same thing OP, then I saw Nana's life insurance renewal policy on the desk in the study. I gave her the keys to the jeep, and told her to buy enough groceries for a thanksgiving feast.

OP how did you first get interested in biology, microbiology and immunology?

Basically the more I plea with my mother to not go out--the more she goes out. The woman is taking public transportation. The definition of cut off your nose to spite your face.

So now I'm shutting up. I just tell myself if she doesn't get the virus, it will be a miracle.

[quote]Giant here in the Philadelphia area just announced this. The entire chain will only be open from 6AM to 10PM, with 6AM to 7AM reserved for shoppers over the age of 60.

You should go to the door at 6:30 a.m. and scream "WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES IS MY MOTHER?"

Then run.

Some stores where I live are starting to enforce early hour shopping time slots for 55+ shoppers. Other stores are offering curbside pickup, but most seniors don't have the slightest idea of how to order groceries online.

In high school R96. I’ve always been the outdoorsy/nature type. Loved going fishing. Learning about different kinds of fish. Reading about the ocean and what lives in it. I just found it super interesting. At one time I wanted to be a veterinarian.

R97 are you the one with the mother that rides the Gold line in Pasadena?

R101, yep.

Mention to your moms that a BEST case scenario is 100,000-200,000 coronavirus deaths. If your mother continues to take public transportation, she is jeopardizing your health and you should distance yourself from HER, seriously. Either they are crazy or have a death wish not to take better care of themselves. I don't get it.

R103, I live on the opposite coast. I have reasoned and begged since early March. It's not about the data--I send out news briefings and videos daily. She's just fucking badly damaged and it dictates every thing she does. No matter how insanely destructive it is to her. She can't even stop and think rationally when it could literally cost her everything.

She won't heed any warning or advice from me or her siblings. Me, because I "abandoned" her so all my concerns are hollow. She won't listen to her younger siblings because how dare they lecture her. She can't listen to anything they say because she's the least successful in the family and psychotically chippy about it. They can't say or do anything that isn't insulting or a reminder to her of her lack of money and success.

She blames me for not helping her out more. She's had a hard life and had to raise kids on her own in poverty. I help her but she doesn't understand or accept that there are limits to what I can do for her financially and emotionally.

And I'm afraid she's taking all the above and manifesting it in the worst possible time. It's hard to watch it unfold. And I think back to all the years, I have seen and experienced this behavior and am both resigned and horrified it may well end badly with this fucking virus.

Speaking as a senior, who the fuck expects me to get up before 6 am to buy cereal.

OP stop referring to your mom as "mom". She's not our mom, we have our own. Say "my mom". TIA!!