Make me feel better about not living in Manhattan

the life of Reilly?

Are y'all over 60?

I moved to NYC at age 40 and wish I had done it sooner.

Troll. The New York poster who wants everybody from NYC to sing the praises of their city and disparage others.

Gurl, have I got a thread for you!

Only one thing to do ...move to NY now, get an apartment, a job, make, a life.

Manhattan is certainly NOT what it used to be! It's now overcrowded with basic types. Even 20 years ago, many residents of NJ & Long Island would rarely visit the big bad city, let alone live there. Things have changed. Long gone are artists and characters that gave Manhattan some charm. You might as well live in any major US city.

OP - You missed the boat, but it's a boat that sunk many moon ago.

You can always visit regularly. It’s a unique lifestyle and worth trying to live here. Just so you can go back to another town and fell like you’ve done it - check.

Where do you live OP?

And anyway, feel good about the size of your place and what you pay in rent. If you were in NY it would be a lot more expensive and a lot smaller.

Who’s Reilly?

If you can get there a few times a year in the nice months and see a few shows and do a little shopping then you can still get the feel. Who needs NYC between October and May when it’s miserable and wet.

That city ages and grinds on ones health and appearance. It ages people beyond their years.

OP, there is no reason to feel embarrassed to see a therapist. That's what they are for. Your feelings are real, and normal. Go if you think you need to work this out and that will help. GO. Life doesn't work out the way we plan it. It's up to us to make the most of what we've got, live with passion and purpose. Life is also too short to dwell on what could have been. I've done A LOT of that myself. At 55, I can see what I could have done, should have done. But then I realize I'd better get busy living in the now, since I probably won't live to be 125 years old. So, you may move to NYC eventually. If it's really what you want, make a plan to make it happen. Find a life coach to help. You can do anything. It's a lot sweeter feeling good about your own accomplishments and successes than comparing yourself to what someone else has got.

Oh, and sure, New York isn't for everyone, and there are plenty of great places to live in the US. But I've been living in Manhattan since 1986, and no matter what some of the people on this thread say, it's still fantastic, and unlike any other city in the world. We'd love to have you here. Best of luck.

I was born and raised in NYC. I grew up in Queens, and only during my late twenties did I ever consider moving to Manhattan, to the Lower East Side. Looking back I am glad I didn't, because I would have spent most of my earnings just paying rent and not have enjoyed my life.

It is better in Riverdale, BRONX!!!! I am close to the city, but it is so much quieter uptown.

OP, I was assuming you were living far from NYC, so I was responding based on that. Are you in NYC or close to the city? If so, it should be even easier to move into Manhattan if it's really where you want to be. It's certainly possible to sublet an apartment for a couple of months to see if it works for you. It's what most people I know did when we all moved here from elsewhere.

I lived in Manhattan for 30 years--went to college and grad school. And when I left in my late 40s, it was after I experienced a full nervous breakdown, extreme depression alternating with anxiety, near bankruptcy, massive debts (not caused by extravagance but the insane standard of living in NYC), romantic turmoil, fair weather or status obsessed friends (and they proliferate like weeds in Manhattan), etc. When I moved to a quiet NJ town, it felt like salvation and I could finally heal. I vowed I would never move back to NYC or even visit. That was seven years ago. I do go to Manhattan quite a bit now and enjoy it. But I like it even more knowing my visits are transient and I'm not stuck there.

As others have said you don't need to live in New York to enjoy New York.

Visit regularly, see some shows, do the stuff that interests you...then you can go home and enjoy the fact you aren't in a closet-sized 5th floor walkup that costs a small fortune.

We moved to Westchester County four years ago, from Hell’s Kitchen. We live in a spacious 2,800 sf house with a triple lot, have wonderful neighbors and feel much more relaxed now. I work from home but husband commutes by train to GCT in less than an hour.

Don’t miss the chaos, filth and rude people of the city. But I do miss being able to see a show at the last minute, or go to a different restaurant every night of the week on 9th Ave if we want. And out $20,000 property tax is fucking ridiculous.

I’m glad we had our fun in the city, but so much happier now.

If you live in Riverdale or Westchester you still live in New York. I mean sure you don't live in Manhattan but you are in the New York area, people live there who work in Manhattan.

Don't think that is what OP is getting at.

Two words, OP: bed bugs.

Manhattan is a disgusting place. Stupid fucker.

This.

Native NYer here, this place is a shit hole.

OP, I think you are spot on about feeling envious about someone essentially falling into a life that you intentionally worked to create - but it just didn’t pan out that way. I have no sage advice except that you’re certainly not alone. Maybe someday we’ll realize our dreams, but in the end Manhattan is just geography. Can you focus on the other parts of your life goals, which frankly I think would be more fulfilling than your address?

I get it: I’d never been to NYC until a couple years ago for work. I wasn’t excited about it, but decided to make the best of it and in the evenings walked around, tried local restaurants, Broadway shows....and to my surprise fell in absolute love with NYC/Manhattan. I’ve even gone back on vacation. Though it was my vacation that made me realize what a hard place it would be to actually live day-to-day: cost of living, transportation, planning/time to get from A to B at a certain time, etc.... I don’t know how anyone does it with children if they don’t have $$$ and/or help.

So, I ultimately agree with previous posters that maybe for us, it’s a place we visit. We might end up hating what we love if we had to deal with it daily. I will fully admit that at this point in my life I could not make it there, but I am happy in my comparatively cheaper and simpler life.....planning my next trip.

Best of luck to you!

Curious what people crave about living here? Is it the density of people, the type of people, the stories, the buildings? I’ve been here so long, I honestly forget why I’m here. I would love to get that excitement back.

I lived in NYC for 5 years and hated it. I found that it brought out the worst in people (including myself). Nothing ever slowed down, and unless I took a dedicated 3 block walk to central park, I never saw any grass or trees. The hustle and bustle was constant and I couldnt relax. Even on days off, I felt that there was something that I should be doing. Going out any distance from my apartment or office was a huge headache and I became somewhat of a recluse. I'm much happier living in the suburbs now. (I'm also able to save alot more money).

I think that much of what used to be magical about NYC packed up and move out west to Los Angeles. NYC is very much a city for the wealthy. If you don't have much money or are just starting out, NYC is hard. It has become very homogenized.

The real energy and creativity is now happening in LA. It's easier live there and cheaper and it embraces upstarts and creativity like NYC used to, but now not so much.

NYC is a rat infested pig sty that smells like piss. I lived there for a few years and couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. It’s not glamorous like you think it is, the people are crude and it’s culturally vastly overrated. The only thing I liked were the various immigrant communities because you could try different types of cuisine for cheap. However, you can get that experience in any major city. Hell, I got more out of life living a year in Houston than I did in NY.

I agree a lot of the energy moved to LA. But I still don’t like LA. Even though it finally has public transport, it feels like it doesn’t go anywhere I need it to. Everything goes to DTLA which I think is one of the ugliest nastiest downtowns in America. WeHo is a livable pedestrian lifestyle. But no good public transport.

Fortunately at 50, I’m less concerned with city life. I love nature walks and cooking and staying home. The suburban life actually works well for me. Access to an occasional night out or good restaurant or show once or twice a month. But otherwise, being able to walk in nature, have a little more space to live in and spending less money are more attractive now. I think it may be of more interest in late 60s when I’m less mobile and want things to be easily accessible - as well as live in a low maintenance 1BR in an elevator building.