What old man stuff do you do now that you didn’t when you were younger?

Gross.

I used to say "In my' day" as a joke when I was younger. Now, I just say it.

I've learned that when I'm away from my house for any reason, never to pass up an opportunity to use a restroom.

I sometimes make a low groaning noise when I stand up after kneeling or squatting or even just sitting down in a chair.

I think I was always an old man...nap in the afternoon...talk about the past too much...prefer oldies music and older movies...in fact i some ways I'm better now in that I don't grumble about the present so much, I just don't care anymore, let them get on with it.

[quote] I've learned that when I'm away from my house for any reason, never to pass up an opportunity to use a restroom.

Me too!

I have s*** tons of medicine now. Ibuprofen, aspirin, back pain pills.

I tell Cashiers 'thank you'.

I have enough money to pay a straight stud an allowance when he stops by to spend weekends with me. I even cook for him in addition to money and presents.

Wear reading glasses when looking at a menu in a restaurant and complain that the light is too dim to read the damn thing.

I complain about Millenials and Gen Z people being lazy and without manners.

Sit through plays without being able to understand half the dialogue. I don't seem to have that problem with musicals, probably because the amplification is greater. But the next time I see a play, I'll definitely request an "assistive listening device."

Wear slippers around the house.

Curse at the grocery store robot when I almost run into it (it almost runs into me?) when I am trying to post a link to Madonna in the 1992-2002 club hits thread.

Also, keeping the coupon to use later.

Descend steps slowly and carefully, hanging on.

Look at shirtless pictures of Robert Conrad. Oh wait, I did that when I was young too.

I shoo kids away from my yard and won't throw the ball back over the fence ever

I still cut coupons.

I pick off the onions from my pizza.

Enjoy DL threads about getting old, immensely.

I read DL

Wear Depends.

Spend a lot of time watching old TV shows on the mesothelioma channels.

Not remember how long ago things were and generally get it wrong...things were much longer ago than I think.

In the same vein...say things like "As recently as the '70s."

Same here, R24. Events that I think happened "a few years ago" turn out to be from 10 or 12 years ago.

R24 Oh yeah. To me, everything is 'five years ago.'

I love how men's clothes never become outdated. I have clothes I bought in thrift stores 10 years ago that still look appropriate.

[quote]I've learned that when I'm away from my house for any reason, never to pass up an opportunity to use a restroom.

Yeah, I used to hit the restroom at the train station in case some hot daddy was giving a free show at the urinals. Now it's so I don't piss in my pants on the half-hour-long commute.

I have a weird thing going...I used to be a human IMBD before those Internet webs! Now I'll see an actor, I can name all their films, name all their co-stars but won't come up that actors name. Just a blank, but I know everything else about him or her. Twenty minutes later it will pop into my head.

Oh Honey, my warranty has expired. Every bone in my body hurts all the time. If I'm really hurting, I will leave a store if I still have to get stuff all the way in the back.

R7, you can say shit. It’s ok.

During the rare times I do go to a theater to see a movie, I make it a point to go to something like a noon showing, when all the brats and teenagers are stuck in school.

I and my friends much prefer to drink at home and hang out at each others homes instead of going out to bars.

r29, I am pretty sure I will get (or maybe already have) early onset dementia. I too remember all the facts about someone but not his/her name.

So I keep an iPhone Note with the person's facts. Then, when I remember who it is, I delete that person from the Note and tentatively reassure myself that "it's just the late 40s"

R29, I worked at a couple of newspapers and magazines where, in the old days, I was a valuable resource and the go-to guy for anyone wanting to confirm any sort of showbiz trivia, all of which I had on file in my head. Sadly, "the Google" made me obsolete, although people will occasionally still consult with me. But, as with you, names sometimes don't come to me immediately, as they once did.

I yell “Get off my lawn!!!” a lot. And I live in a high-rise.

I cut my own hair with my electric clippers. It's just a simple crop top. Plus my hair has been growing more slowly on top as I get older, and thinning out a bit. I've been doing this for nearly 15 years now. I've gotten quite good at doing the fades - often better than what I would get at a salon.

I takes me about a year to get used to a new car...even now I fumble around looking for the right buttons to do the most basic things.

Tell me about it R37

They are hiding the crank in the strangest places on these new automobiles.

[quote]Descend steps slowly and carefully, hanging on.

OMG, why does that happen? I used to run up and down steps without even thinking about it. two, three steps at a time. Now when I see steps, especially going down, all I can think about is falling. (Insert Leave Her to Heaven Joke Here). Sometimes I will just avoid steps altogether and take an elevator.

Pop out my dentures.

I occasionally find myself yelling at clouds.

Have to regularly trim ear, nose, eyebrow and neck hair.

I now have to shave with my glasses on.

I wear flip-flops everywhere because it's too exhausting to bend down, put on shoes, and lace them up.

[quote]Have to regularly trim ear, nose, eyebrow and neck hair.

I just tug at them while I'm driving or watching TV.

The pain is good for me. It reminds me I'm alive.

I clean my ears with my car keys.

jerk off on the bus

An exacting anal hygiene regime.

Bran.

Forget words & names that are really easy & at the tip of my tongue.

I’ll say, “I know the name of that guy ....it starts with a B.” It will turn out his name is Anton Chekhov.

I walk every day with a stylish black walking stick. It helps me fend off aggressive dogs and javalinas.

Drink Bourbon every night.

[quote] I am pretty sure I will get (or maybe already have) early onset dementia

Early onset dementia means you have dementia at a much younger age than usual. Like if you’re 40 years old.

Early stage dementia is when you begin to have symptoms.

Tweeze ear hair

I echo many of the comments above. I carry a handkerchief (always did, since that's how my Mom raised us), take Metamucil and avoid stairs. Use a shoe horn. Ask strapping young men to help me with packages. I use Clairol Shimmer Highlights shampoo, but only once a week so my hair doesn't turn purple.

Every time I bend over to pick something up, I fart - not on purpose.

All pants have an elastic waistband.

I see news and stories about celebrities and other famous types in all sorts of trouble or acclaim and I don't give a shit because I don't know who the hell these people are and why the hell are they on my lawn of consciousness anyway.

[quote] OMG, why does that happen? I used to run up and down steps without even thinking about it. two, three steps at a time

Could be where the handrail is. The indoor stairs in my summer house had the handrail on the right side. Same with my deck. I’m right handed. When I had work done & transferred the handrail to the left side, it was so much easier to walk down stairs. The natural way to walk down stairs is to put your opposite hand on the handrail & use you dominant side to steady the body.

r53, I meant "early onset dementia". in grad school during the stress of finals, i forgot my PIN # to my bank account and worked myself into a fever of worry that it was dementia. then i remembered it and all was right with the world.

i still worry about early onset now that i'm in my 40s. and i'll continue to worry about it until my 50s, at which point i will switch to worry about plain old dementia.

Pass for someone 20 years younger.

Choose clothing for comfort instead of style.

Shopping for Kaftans!

sleep in pjs instead of nude

I say whatever I want without concern with whether or not anyone else is going to like it or not. However, I do know when too much is too much and I never set out to hurt anyone's feelings, unless I see that they're evil and need their feelings hurt.

R44, I still have a pair of Adidas that are like 10 years old, but they're so broken in that I can just step into them like slippers. I still use them to do stuff like check the mail and take the trash out.

I openly stare at hot young boys (legal of course) and don’t give a shit about trying to hide it. Sometimes they coyly smile, and sometimes they whisper “old faggot” under their breath, but I love to visually assault these hotties.

I do most of the stuff mentioned above plus when dining out I usually take half the food home and have it for dinner the next day.

I made an appointment with my Primary Thursday just to get a referral to a Rheumatologist. I already had a referral to an ENT and Podiatrist.

Hunt for my glasses when they're on my nose.

R25/R26 you’re describing a common issue. I’m a younger Millennial and I run into the same mental trap at times.

[quote]I say whatever I want without concern with whether or not anyone else is going to like it or not.

If this is the bellwether, I was an old man at the age of four.

[quote] and worked myself into a fever of worry

Oh, dear!

Been there, done that, r70.

[quote]I say whatever I want without concern with whether or not anyone else is going to like it or not.

Unfortunately that’s very dangerous in the workplaces of today.

I'm AMAZED no one's turned up to shout at us yet.

I've got a few more ideas for old man threads. By the third the shouting will begin.

Let's have a whole slew of these.

Spend 40 minutes on the train into the city, planning on a long day of walking around and enjoying the sights and sounds of the city, only to turn back to the train station after only an hour because I'm too tired to walk around any more.

To be brutally honest, I shoplift. I don’t do it out of necessity, I just like to get a good bargain, and free is the best bargain! I add up all the stolen grocery items and keep a running tab of what I’ve “saved.” It’s a little game for me and keeps it interesting. The most expensive thing I’ve stolen is a bottle of $79 Pinot Noir wine that I places in my napsack in a corner of the store that had no cameras.

[quote] I've got a few more ideas for old man threads. Let's have a whole slew of these.

We won’t be able to find them.

Wait. Find what again?

What the hell did you just ask me?

Cream of Wheat is too spicy!

I walk very gingerly in the winter, I am afraid of falling on ice

R80, I laughed my ass off.

My mother finds EVERYTHING “a little spicy, no?” I tell her all the time, “Ma, you’d think lettuce was spicy.” Now I have something new to tell her.

Thanks!

I cover my shoulders and upper arms. Old man something something is happening there. It came on suddenly, too!

Wear a sweater when it’s 70° outside.

Slippers and PJs.

I tsk-tsk younger people, their awful music and wild ways.

More and more store clerks have become so rude they don't even say thank you, come back again, kiss my ass, or anything when the transaction is finished. When that happens I just look at them and say "obviously no one trained you how to say thank you" and mutter "incompetent fool" loud enough for them to hear me as I walk away.

I get into a panic late in the evening if I forgot to take my Metamucil after dinner. LOL

Well, there's the stuff I *don't* do that I used to do, like go to baseball games, tennis, ice shows, theater, movies, because "back in my day, sonny" these things were actually affordable. So that kinda sucks.

I purposely drive 5-10 miles under the speed limit and make full stops at all stop signs. I don’t hurry to get out of anyone’s way, even when I can tell they are frustrated with me. I get honked at about once every 10 days and just smile back at them! I used to be a speed demon and now I’m the happy man with low blood pressure and zero stress! I just hope I don’t get shot! (I live in Texas)

Oh yes, and this.

I trust no one other than my 3 best friends and my 2 godchildren, especially when it comes to money. I takes a lot of work to earn my trust these days.

We cut our Metamucil with Konsyl.

One thing is - I get annoyed when people call at the last minute and expect me to jump, and do something like go to a play because a friend cancelled or something. When I was young, I would have been like, sure, why not? Now I feel like: oh my god I'm hanging out watching Teen Wolf and doing sit ups in my underwear, fuck off. "But it sounds like you're doing nothing." But I guess that's what I like doing, now. Anyhow mainly I don't like people expecting me to drop everything (or drop nothing) and do things when they call. I need, like, literally a week's notice. I need to be PREPARED. It's weird.

otoh, I have done young guy things when I'm older that I didn't do when I was younger. I started skateboarding when I was 40. I go to more rock concerts than I did when I was young. I don't care if people think I'm the oldest guy there. I also have less shyness and I'll chat up anybody. So I guess it's weird, yeah.

I carry those packs of tissues and hard candy in my purse.

I am, God help me, nicer and more tolerant for the most part, except maybe for some bitchiness on here. I think it was Andy Warhol who said something like getting older, he could no longer bear to squash a bug. I guess as you get closer to the final curtain, you have more empathy. I try to be more thoughtful of others. I understand and accept now it really isn't all about me.

On the other hand, I care less what others think. I own my quirks and preferences. Fuck peer pressure, in almost any situation. It's a nice little perk of older age.

I keep a tissue tucked just inside the sleeve of my cardigan sweater!

I sit down when I pee.

Christ, I've been wearing my slippers around the house since we bought the house.

This may be the last time we hear from R78 since he will soon be caught.

My brother's sage advice: Never miss a chance to sit down, never trust a fart, and never waste an erection.

I don't wear sneakers or tee's with jeans. Instead it's dress shoes and button down long sleeve dress shirts tucked in. Oh and I just started wearing prescription glasses about 2 years ago.

I take naps. I can sometimes take two naps on the same day.

I nap ALL day sometimes.

R101 is my hero

only top my boy 3 times weekly instead of daily

Ive become obsessed with my bowel movements . God forbid I go a few days without one,then I feel like Im going to die . I check the bowl before I flush so I can see if its runny or firm or a lot or a little . Until a few years ago I never gave shitting a moments thought !

[Quote]I sit down when I pee.

I'm still peeing, despite thinking I had already stopped.

[quote]Never miss a chance to sit down,

Whether it's a museum or a shopping center, I know where every bench is within a 30-mile radius of my home.

[quote] To be brutally honest, I shoplift. I don’t do it out of necessity, I just like to get a good bargain, and free is the best bargain! I add up all the stolen grocery items and keep a running tab of what I’ve “saved.” It’s a little game for me and keeps it interesting. The most expensive thing I’ve stolen is a bottle of $79 Pinot Noir wine that I places in my napsack in a corner of the store that had no cameras.

Where I shop there's an old woman I see peeling the stickers off things the store packages in the deli department (you know, with the plastic wrap and the little tray) like cheese ends and pork rinds, and placing these cheap-stuff labels over the labels on nice cuts of meat. I assume the kids at the cash registers who are chatting or whatever just pass them over the scanner and never read the labels (why would they?) The old crone isn't poor, I saw her get into a new looking Lincoln Continental.

The most important decision I make every day is when I'm going to take my nap.

[quote] I don’t hurry to get out of anyone’s way, even when I can tell they are frustrated with me. I get honked at about once every 10 days and just smile back at them! I used to be a speed demon and now I’m the happy man with low blood pressure and zero stress!

I hope that you, at least, drive in the far right lane. I would not have low blood pressure and zero stress if I were getting honked at on a semi-regular basis.

The old crone isn't poor

no doubt a frugal Old Money Wasp, dropping in from the other thread

Far right lane, meaning the lane closest to the road shoulder.

I have to wear reading glasses to cut my finger and toe nails.

[quote]I have to wear reading glasses to cut my finger and toe nails.

I have to use some sort of electric filing machine designed for cutting glass AND wear my reading glasses...and the filings fly in my face whatever direction I do it in.

I'll use goggles and a face mask in future.

Constantly look down at my feet to confirm they're going in the same direction I am.

So many things once seemed effortless. Now, everything seems to require major effort. Just brushing my teeth exhausts me.

Go electric, R116.

I walk down stairs much slower

Vote. I never took time when I was younger. I had better things to do. Now I never miss an election.

3 points of contact tattooed on my ass.

This thread is making me feel all warm and fuzzy. Glad to know I'm not alone.

Think about food in terms of how easily it will come out rather than how it will taste coming in.

Somewhere around the age of 30, napping became one of life's great pleasures.

I now wear scarves when it's cold out. And carry a moist towelette or two in my pocket in case I need them.

It is taking forever to sink in that I no longer walk (stride/speed) the way I used to. I walk so much slower and I am always sitting down to take a break while I'm out. A couple of weeks ago I had the thought -- It's such a nice day I think I'll walk up to Central Park -- which is insane because it's a 34 block walk. Used to do it without thinking but now? That's a pipe dream (or an all day excursion just to get up there.)

I ask the best looking employee at Trader Joe’s to help me find stuff. I was there tonight. He was sweet. He said Is there anything else I can help you find? When I told him I’d left my shopping list at home, he actually suggested stuff he often forgets to buy.

I get that R124. It does sadden me, as i was always a big walker. When I lived in NY, I used to leave early and walk to work all the way from 91st Street to Soho, at a brisk pace. A little crazy but I loved it. Maybe that’s why I was so thin back then too.

Complain about driving at night. When did the damn streets get so dark? And why are everyone’s headlights so bright?

A stereotype that turns out to be 100% true: Walk into a room or look in the refrigerator and forget what I wanted in there.

I wake up after three or four hours to pee and can't fall back asleep.

[quote]Maybe that’s why I was so thin back then too.

Mmmm, there is a [italic]slim[/italic] chance that there's a connection R126. Wow 91st to Soho -- you were a hearty beast.

I'm always thinking I won't need Depends sometime in the future. Who's zooming who? I never rush a yellow light any more. I request, no salt or MSG when eating out. I go to every mens room when I'm out so my paper under pants won"t smell. I've lost my taste for meat but continue to love vegetables and grains. I've become acutely sensitive to salt and sugar. Fresh fruit is my guilty pleasure. I can be off by a day or two as to what day it is if I don't go on-line. Controlling "wind" is totally impossible most days. I can't be bothered with movies anymore. I have a folding shower-chair, in the shower of course. I spend too much time flossing my teeth, even do it in the car when driving to SF or Sedona. I keep believing my balance will one day return. I've forgotten all the rest.

Was a movie theater manager and all my friends also working in theaters would actually go to see more movies on our day off. Now I go once or twice a year.

For those having trouble driving at night. I bought these polarized anti glare shades that fit over my glasses for night driving. Trust me, they make all the difference in the world.

[quote] I wake up after three or four hours to pee and can't fall back asleep.

Oh kiddo, I've mentioned this in another thread. Get yourself one of these. You won't have to get out of bed. Just roll over or sit on the side of the bed and fill 'er up.

Apologize.

[quote]Somewhere around the age of 30, napping became one of life's great pleasures.

This. A 15 minute cat nap in the early afternoon is HEAVEN.

Pay cash up front for everything. Don't lose sleep over debt because I don't have any debt.

Wear a broad-brimmed hat and shower in sunblock before heading outdoors.

Begin a sentence with "when you get to be my age. . .". I don't know when I started saying it, but inwardly cringe when I do.

[quote]Walk into a room or look in the refrigerator and forget what I wanted in there.

And do it several times until I finally remember what the fuck I wanted.

[quote]I know where every bench is within a 30-mile radius of my home.

I know where every public toilet is within a 30 kilometer radius.

I have to write everything I need on a list before I go to the market if I don't I will forget to buy the important stuff.

[quote] Controlling "wind" is totally impossible most days.

Well that’s hardly your fault. Even the weatherman on that talking box can’t control the....

Oh, wait. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

Never mind.

[quote]I know where every public toilet is within a 30 kilometer radius.

Me too. It USED to be for cruising, though. Now it’s for other reasons. We oldsters know what I’m talking about.

go to "the tubs"

Yeah, r143.

Now I am a tub.

The popular music of today sounds like dull trash. I went to look at the Billboard Hot 100 and only recognized about 3 songs on the whole thing.

Just noticed my apartment smells like a old mans place.

I go out of my way to avoid people I know in public. I can no longer tolerate small talk.

Wow r147!

I do the same thing. Didn’t even realize it was because I’m getting old.

Before I go out I always peer outside to make sure none of my neighbors are outside. If they are I wait for them to leave before leaving myself.

I have to use a Dremel attachment on my toenails.

Take my Grampa sweater with me everywhere in case it is too chilly. Built a new house that included a ramp in the garage to the back door so will have it when I need it. I was going to list other things but I have already forgotten them.

When I'm at the grocery store, I use a shopping cart instead of carrying the little plastic basket. It's not that I'm buying a lot, it's just that the cart gives me something to lean on.

I have always hated small talk, so that isn't a sign of age to me. But I like my house. Postmates and Door Dash and Whole Foods Delivery has been wonderful. There are some weekends when I never leave the house. Netflix in one browser and DL in the other and that's all the entertainment I need.

Don't know about your question, OP. Am just glad I no longer have to walk 20 miles, uphill, through the snow, into the wind, and back home, every day.

My butthole allows me just enough time to prep and start the coffeemaker early in the morning.

There is a short dash followed by the hymn refrain “it is well”.

[quote] This. A 15 minute cat nap in the early afternoon is HEAVEN.

It would be, but there's no such thing as a 15 minute cat nap for me. There's just 3-hour comas that result in me waking up in my living room chair and wondering what day it is.

I sort my meds into a 7-day organizer. I'd never remember to take my pills every day without having them organized in front of me every morning.

You sad, pathetic old man. How can you not remember to take your pills? It’s pretty important. What would your doctor....

Wait, Alexa just reminded me I have to take a pill.

BRB.

R155 I agree. Fifteen minute catnap? Even my cat naps longer than that. And there's been times that I've roused awake, the clock reads 5 o'clock and I have no idea if it's a.m. or p.m. Plus, I'm hungry and I don't know if it's time for breakfast or supper. Pitiful, just pitiful.

Although I live in a very safe neighborhood, I obsess about my doors being locked all the time.

My garage door is locked, the door beside the garage door is locked, and I still worry if the door leading into the house from the garage is locked.

R125 In other words you're a DLer.

What about when you decide to rub one out as its been a while ,and you only get 3/4 hard and lose interest after a few minutes ? Or if you do get off ,its like 3 drops ? From age 12 to 50 sex was all I thought about . Now Id rather eat .

R161 Oh yeah. I couldn't get enough sex. If I wasn't fucking or being fucked, I was pulling on myself while visiting gay chat rooms. Now I just cruise cooking blogs, looking for interesting fish recipes.

R158 I have that same issue. That is why I leave my computer monitor on during my afternoon naps. It is off when I go to bed.

Shopping.

I buy things, put them away and can't remember where I put them - sometimes I don't discover them for YEARS and sometimes I NEVER see them again. But I also discover things I don't remember buying that I'm really pleased with...clothing especially and gadgets.

Similar - last week for example, I saw a lamp I liked in shop window and thought I'll come back and get that next week and now I can't remember where the shop was.

And returning to gadgets...I have drawers fill of black power cables, but I have no idea which machine they belong to, so I dare not throw them out. Drawers full of old technology. Portable CD players, cameras, lenses, massage gadgets (for the neck), landline phones, watches, clocks, radios...

Buying things at the supermarket and discovering I already have four or five if them. I'm always buying sugarless gum, good for dieting - trying new ones out. I have a great box full of them (organization)...often multiples of the same ones.

I have 30 years of cassette tapes dubbed from cd on a boombox. I play them all the time.

Haven't found much lately, though. Too much vocorder rap. I did like that Miley Cyrus song, though.

I carry blankets to the movies

R166 >

I loved Linus

I tend to obsess about my age. I do little calculations that result in conclusions such as, "I'm already older than my parents were when I finished graduate school." Or sometimes I suddenly wake up in the morning, and the first thought I have is how old I now am, and it actually shocks me, as though I'm realizing it for the first time.

I drink more water now and have to ensure that I'm getting a frequent and sufficient amount of fiber.

I carry a man bag now. And inside it are moist towelettes and Metamucil.

That song sounds like pure Dolly R165 ! I like it ! I like Miley ,always have .

This thread is making me sleepy. I think I'll take a nap.

I stay home on Saturday night instead of going out. Heck - I stay home every night instead of going out. I also quit drinking, which my younger self would never believe.

I take a large jacket to wear at the movies. I stuff the pockets with all kinds of snacks and miniature bottles of wine. I’m not paying those concession prices on a fixed income!!

I used to know exactly what year a song or movie came out. Now I'm always shocked at how long ago some of these things were made.

Also, when they redo some films - Lion King, Little Women, Emma - I think, why are they rehashing this stuff? The recent versions weren't that long ago.

They were all released over 25 years ago. For comparison, I then think - 2000 and 1975, 1975 and 1950, 1950 and 1925. Good God, that's a loooong time!

I own one of these:

R177 I own two of them.

I just turned 55 a few months ago. In the last year I've learned my spine is basically a mess. Drying out discs, stenosis, and the best part I might even have ALS. That one means I could be taking the dirt nap in 3 to 5 years. lovely.

R179 Very sorry to hear about the possible ALS diagnosis. I wish you well.

Many of us could be taking a dirt nap within a few years, R179, but of course I certainly hope that possible diagnosis is incorrect. Good luck.

See now memory is a bitch, it seems I must have posted everything from R1 to R181, they all apply to me, but I don't remember posting them all!

R164 I swear we suffer from the same shopping afflictions. Especially groceries. I can never remember what I have in the pantry so now I have 4 jars of mayonnaise and 3 bottles of white cooking wine. My junk drawer is filled with charger cords for electronics I haven't seen or used in years. When I find a top from a pen, I refuse to throw it away because I'm sure I'll find the pen that matches it. (I have dozens of perfectly good pens but I can't let go of that stray top.) Is this how hoarding starts?

[quote] Is this how hoarding starts?

No, that starts when you begin to think you’re good-looking enough for rentmen. Then you post an....

Oh, HOARDING.

Damn hearing aid.

Oh bummer r179. I hope you’re ok

When I go to any fast food place, I always ask if they offer a senior discount.

R179 - I’m actually envious of your death sentence. I’ve not been as happy in my 50s and I was in my 30s and 40s so count yourself lucky you won’t have to endure old age.

Bette Davis said it: Old age isn't for sissies.

You come out of the store, get in the car and realize you never got the one thing you went in for.

R189 You're lucky you found your car. I've come out of the store, wandered the lot looking for my car, and then realized I walked there.

Last week I did take the car, walked halfway home and had to go back to get it.

In some ways I like the vagueness, it softens the corners of life. I'm not going to give myself a hard time over this.

R191 I agree! I get a good chuckle over my episodes.

I'm 67 and down to jerking off just once a day. I never thought that would happen.

R193 Come visit me, papi.

R184 That was priceless. Thanks for the chuckle.

Grocery shopping

I need to pay more attention when I'm taking stuff off the shelf:: I unpack at home and find I bought tomato sauce instead of tomato paste; vanilla ice cream instead of butter pecan; crushed pineapple instead of chunks. You get the idea. Very frustrating but it makes for some interesting meals.

I wear what I want to wear. My oldest friend, whom I've known since elementary school, came for a visit and we decided to go out for dinner. We both changed our clothes and laughed at each other... wearing the same style of clothes we did in high school and not caring. I don't care if you think Bass Weejuns are old and out of style; you're not wearing them, so shut up. And what is this thing with kids wearing black socks with white sneakers? That looks ridiculous. :)

I'm generally kinder to strangers, and always thank anyone for their help, particularly store clerks and deliverymen. I tip more generously than in the past. I respect my neighbor's privacy, but always enjoy a quick hello and catching up on gossip, and am quick to offer a helping hand. One neighbor's dog and mine love to play together, so I'll invite him over for a play date and let the neighbor run her errands and not have to worry about her dog barking or needing to go out. And speaking of barking, like some women who say there's nothing sweeter than a screaming infant (oh hell no), I feel that way about barking dogs. It's music to my ears.

Like the poster(s) above, I drive more slowly, will wait to let people go in front of me. Go ahead, I'm not going to risk accident or injury to be first at the stop light.

Time seems to be going by more quickly, but I also take more time to just enjoy things, like reading and doing research. And there's nothing more pleasurable than a conversation over a good meal.

One of the great joys of getting older is not feeling like you have to hurry up and do something; it's much nicer to enjoy a glass of wine and watching the sun set behind the mountains, or a hot cup of coffee while perusing news sites in the morning. It's truly a tragedy that the era of newspapers has ended and there is virtually no role for a good editor any longer. I miss reading the local Sunday paper and seeing what a professional thinks is the top news of the day (and not just what will garner the most clicks this morning).

The one thing I'd really like is to have a young man to do odd jobs around the house, preferably shirtless. No, I'm not looking for sex (hubby and I are still sufficiently randy, and I'm not going to make a fool of myself), but there is something about having a fit, handsome young man working around the house that I like. Regardless, I have no idea how to find such a situation, especially one that was not exploitative on either side, and while I'm willing to pay to have odd jobs done, I have neither the need nor the means to employ anyone full time.

When you have a rule that you can only schedule one "major" event each week.

I told my mom that I was going to get a piano tuner to come to her house on Tuesday, and she said she couldn't do that because she had her regular doctor appointment later that week. Although she's retired, that was too many things in one week.

R198 I don't have that issue BUT I understand your mom. I think I'm on that path. Right now, I can only have one event per day. If I'm going out to lunch, that's it for the day. Same for catching a movie, going grocery shopping, visiting a friend. I cannot double up on tasks. I need to get home for my nap.

[quote]Right now, I can only have one event per day.

Tomorrow by mistake I scheduled people coming to give me a quote for work on my garden and a visit to my bank manager - I've cancelled the bank.

I go to bed at night after I watch Wheel of Fortune. 7 pm!

I miss the days when I could get around easily and take long walks. It's not so simple now with arthritic knees.

I have depression, psoriatic arthritis, low iron anemia.

R203 Sorry to hear that. I hope you're getting help.

Oh I am. My ass takes 5 anti depressants a day, Tremfya injections and iv iron infusions every 2 months. I’m 44.

Did that yesterday, r189!

R195, thanks for the acknowledgment.

It’s one of the things I love to do in life: make people laugh. I’m not always successful, but I try.

I have friends who still have parties. I started refusing to have anything to do with them about 4 years ago (age 59). People I've known almost 40 years - I find I don't give a damn if I ever see or hear from them ever again. I'm free!

[quote]It’s one of the things I love to do in life: make people laugh. I’m not always successful, but I try.

You scored a TEN today.

out of ten.

Interesting, isn't it? No one's screeched at anyone or insulted anyone and we've got to 210. Shows where all that stuff comes from, doesn't it?

Customer service has become very important to me. I go from 0 to rage in a blink.

Two words: Closed Captions.

[quote]I find I don't give a damn if I ever see or hear from them ever again. I'm free!

I generally feel conflicted about social invitations. I don't get that many of them since I retired last year, and when I do, my immediate impulse is to make up an excuse. It just never seems worth the effort to go to a restaurant or to someone's home, when I'd be much happier staying home, fixing a snack, and watching a movie or TV show. But when I do go ahead and accept the invitation, I generally end up having a nice time and feeling glad that I went. I guess there's a lesson in there somewhere.

R214 You sound like my partner it's tough to get him to go and socialize with friends but once you get him there he's usually the last to leave.

Have zero interest in Facebook or any social media.

Hopeless with names at work.

Hopeless with names at work.

Hopeless with names.

"Long, Long Time"

Oh, on the bright side, one thing I do that I didn't when I was younger is have sex with attractive men a couple decades my junior. It doesn't happen often, but it's nice when it does (rather than being a felony).

Hopeless.

Reading DL, forgot to turn on Rachel. Until I saw a post that referenced what she was talking about 5 minutes ago.

Bah.

Oh what a beautiful song R220 . Its been a while since I heard it ,thank you . Ah the memories !

I scream "GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!!!"

Yet there are no kids, and I have no lawn.

I prefer this song, personally. Does that mean I'm even more ancient?

Make to do lists for even trivial activities. If I don't write it down, I absolutely will forget it.

[quote]Interesting, isn't it? No one's screeched at anyone or insulted anyone and we've got to 210. Shows where all that stuff comes from, doesn't it?

Bravo R211! The most insightful, honest post I've read in the 6 years I've been on DL.

I talk to myself and repeat myself.

I address fifty-year-olds as “young man.”

I puzzle over why the hair on my head is 100% white but the annoying little hairs that stick out at random angles from various parts of my ears are dark brown. And when I try to clip them with tiny little scissors I can’t see them well enough to actually cut them.

Like my father says- Anyone fifteen years younger than you is YOUNG.

Groan when I stand up, then complain about what's hurting today, and tell my partner to shut the hell up when he tells me I'm getting old.

I tell younger friends or relations, for example, meet me on the southeast corner of 5th Avenue and 17th Street. They look at me like I’ve sprouted an additional head. “How am I supposed to know which corner is the southeast corner? Is there a sign?”

When I was 21 years old 27 years old already seemed over the hill. Now I wish I was only 47 years old.

I look for restaurants that have happy hour food menus.

I miss the 20th century.

R220, back when music was music, eh? Of course, that’s what my mother used to say about Glenn Miller – she was right, too.

[quote]Begin a sentence with "when you get to be my age. . .". I don't know when I started saying it, but inwardly cringe when I do.

R139, I try not to say it too often, but I don’t worry when I do. It’s an old person thing. All old people say it. They always have. They always will. In 40 years, Gen Z will be telling Gen Beta-Prime “when you get to be my age …” Also, I’m old. Not saying or doing old-man things won’t make me young and won’t make young people think I’m young. They already think I’m old; I might as well live up the stereotypes, if they fit.

The idea of a bathtub rather than a walk in shower is out of the question.

When my sister was redoing her bathroom, I advised her to go with a walk in shower, even though it is the only bathroom in her home. Reminded her that since she planned to remain in her home as long as possible, eventually a tub would become more and more problematic.

When she consulted a contractor, he told her that replacing tubs with walk ins was more and more common. I am such a nag on the subject that two other relatives have followed suit and are very glad they did.

Bathtubs can be dangerous.

My mom couldn't make me take a nap when I was a kid and I still never take a nap. Well, I'm not retired so napping might be frowned upon at my job. But I literally have taken maybe 5 naps in my life. I'll probably die young. Oh wait.

Usually doze off when watching the early tv news each evening, despite having downed a strong coffee.

I complain about those long-haired, workshy hooligans, with their mopeds and rock ‘n’ roll music.

R236, and also show up with half off coupons? Sean, is that you?

Frequenting local M4M chatrooms on AOL, lurking on Gay dot com's chat rooms. I already know all these people. At this point we're either close friends, or I can't stand you.

Wow about 90% of the above. Just yesterday I noticed that I was clinging to the handrail going down a flight of stairs in my building. When I returned later, I noticed that the stairs didn't have that contrast strip along the edge.

I have three gallons of milk in my fridge, Why?

I miss my dad whom I disliked.

It’d be interesting if everyone could add their current age to their posts.

New music sounds like remakes. At a restaurant, a song comes on and I say “oh, a remake of Footloose”. Nope. It was a different song by The Weeknd.

Age: 46

I used to be horny pretty much 24 hours a day, now I can go for a fortnight without even jerking off.

I'm 48.

What are the young 'uns doing on this thread‽‽‽

You do realise 29 is old in gay years R252 ?

I use to hate my father until I became him.

It takes me an hour to get ready for work.

I just woke up and my first thought was to thank God.

For the last 5 years if I'm awakened suddenly from a deep sleep I'm literally crazed for 2-3 minutes until I can gather my faculties. There is absolutely no use in attempting to hold a rational conversation with me during those few minutes. A few years ago my godson called me in the middle of the day while I was in a deep nap and I made the mistake of answering the phone, something I never do now if a call wakes me up. Apparently I was so out of it he became frightened that I had had a stroke. He called his father who called me a few minutes later. Luckily by then I was rational enough to make some sense.

I don’t look up every answer on google

Sorry, I forgot. I'm 66. Another senior moment I guess.

When I overhear twentysomethings having a conversation, they all sound like complete airheads to me. Some while ago I heard two female university grads in their early 20s talk about their boyfriends. One of the girls was anxious about her tits, because her boyfriend only likes big-titted blondes.

R251-When I was 32 I was still VERY horny. By my mid to late 40's I too could go for two weeks without the need to masterbate.

I like to take baths, but the process of getting in and out is VERY slow and careful. I step in, lower myself to hands and knees, turn around, then slide down into the sitting position. It must look quite comical.

I always check the weather if I'm leaving the house to run errands and dress accordingly.

55

I never take tub baths since I have to take a shower afterward to wash off all the dirty water off me after I finish. But I like a bathtub for those times I need to just soak. Epsom salt soak for muscle pain or to add 1/2 cup of bleach in a full tub for my eczema (it is a wonder remedy). But this walk-in tub is something I'm going to invest in soon. I just need to find an installer I'm comfortable with, and get motivated and prepared to deal with all the construction rigmarole.

Whenever I used to say to my partner, "We're getting old," he would always say, "What do you mean 'getting'?"

Where do you have eczema =m r284? My sister who is 49 has had it all over arms and legs and torso and nothing she does makes it go away. Doctors can offer little explanation. Just wondering how you are coping. Thanks!

I detest what passes as popular music played by radio stations. Thank heavens for my flash drive and the media port in my truck.

TONS of great music still being released every single day. I can't keep up with how many great artists are out right now. .001% are getting radio play though.

Musto did a funny column on this topic.

R266 I tend to suffer from it on the areas of flesh are the thinnest over bone. My shins are by far the worst. Tell your sister that Benadryl taken right before bedtime will definitely ease her itching, and it'll help her sleep. The eczema is caused by the body producing histamines in certain parts of the body. Benadryl is an antihistamine that will cool things down. But I don't recommend taking it in the daytime. It's too hard to operate when you're doped up on Benadryl. The bleach baths definitely help me when the itching gets to a point during the day I can't stand it.

I use a magic marker to mark the Metamucil container every morning when I take my dose. Apparently, I forgot to do that the second time yesterday, and took two doses. Today, I discovered I've become a Clydesdale.

I'm 58.

Holidays don’t feel like holidays anymore. My family died & I had to go to my husband’s insane family until I said, “Fuck it. Holidays feel like a dr appointment I dread. I’ve been listening to the same conversation for over 30 years. These people should be dead already.” And I stopped going, . I do look back on holidays - the red tablecloth came out of the closet, aunts sent paper plates of wrapped cookies, “baskets of cheer” from my parents’ places of work. None of that Secret Santa shit. When I go into stores at Christmas they are crammed with shelves of small, cheap junk for people to give each other. And endless shelves of snacks, chips, crackers, candy, soda, “cookie kits,” hot chocolate packets, cake mixes, holiday jimmies, flavored coffee additives. Whatever happened to a couple of paper plates of homemade pfeffernusse, butter cookies, spritz cookies? The only decoration on them was powdered sugar or red/green sugar. And they tasted so much better than all the thousands of snacks in stores.

I looked forward to seeing my cousins & second cousins because people “went visiting.” My mother would run into friends of hers from childhood who’d come home to visit while we were out Christmas shopping on Main Street. Years later, people woukd drive to a mall & look for a parking space for an hour. Now nobody goes anywhere. They order online & FaceTime each other. They know what everyone’s been up to for the last 15 years because they’ve been seeing their FBs & instagrams. There’s no anticipation. Nobody talked politics back then. People wrote actual letters to representatives (I learned how to do it in school, did you?) abd if they got a lot of letters about something, they paid attention. Now it’s all a joke.

This whole thread sounds like one of my columns.

R272 I like you.

80's songs are Golden Oldies now. Sigh.

When I jump up on a piano to sing, sometimes I go right over the other side.

I used to dread visiting my parents after they moved to a retirement community in Arizona. The 4:30 dinner specials, the golf carts tooling down the street in the own little lane, and absolutely nothing to do after 8PM drove me insane.

I drove through a couple years ago, and my first thought was "Hey, this. is pretty fucking sweet!"

I used to initiate conversations with people I didn't know if they were wearing a shirt from a school I attended, or indicated they were from my hometown.

I realized that the inevitable follow-up questions are what year I graduated, or some other age-related discussion I had no intention of having.

Now I just quietly.

I forget the names of old friends but complete strangers in Tesco’s seem oddly familiar. That and the rages. Is this the onset of dementia?

I’m trying to get my mom to move from her house, which has a 15-step wooden staircase leading up to it. The other night I was tripping merrily down to my car, carrying something, when I went flying.

I kind of ended up in the shrubbery! Which was startling.

R264 and R266

Have you or your sister tried one of the biologicals? Dupixent (dupilumab) is on the market now and nemolizumab (trade name as yet unknown) is supposed to hit the market next month.

Clearly nothing works for everyone but this class of drugs (monoclonal antibodies) works in patients who've never had relief from their symptoms before.

R272 Next stop Lake Wobegon.

I left my hometown in a retirement area of FL. in 1985. As a kid one of the things I hated was all the damn 50's music play in the mall , convenience stores, banks ect.. I came back home to retire last year. All I hear playing at the mall is Madonna, George Michael and the Pet Shop boys. Heavenly!

This thread makes me realise I was old from about the age of 14.

I think my dentist office preprograms the music for each patient by the hour. When I go in there it’s all 60s & 70s stuff. The guy is young. I guess it’s Spotify

[quote]80's songs are Golden Oldies now. Sigh.

My neighbor here in London moved to a sort of retirement building. A very nice one and I'd visit her. They used to have notices up about "activities" and one day I saw "An Afternoon Of '60s Music in the conservatory". It seemed so strange that 60s music was now nostalgia for people over 75.

Also I was once talking to this Dutch guy - he had grey hair, I don't know how old he was, but seemed old to me so I said to him "Of course you must remember the German occupation in Holland" and he was most offended and said no, he was born AFTER the war. All my life older people experienced and remembered WWII.

It's like when a few years ago, they had on TV some guy who was born in 1917 - OMG! People were saying and I thought, my grandparents were born in 1900, what's the big deal about some guy born in 1917?

Here's something I don't understand.

I'll see a lady in the supermarket, let's say, and she'll look to be in her 70s, with a poofy old-lady hairstyle, old-lady clothes, shoes and glasses. Just a classic old lady look. But if you do the math, she'd have been in her 20s in the 1970s, at least *exposed* to mod or hippie styles, hair, hot pants, miniskirts, all that. Why would she, in her older age, look pretty much EXACTLY the way old people looked back then? Granted, you see some stylish types in tunics and Indian jewelry, but otherwise why has the "elderly" look not evolved more? Same with men, if less pronounced. I don't get this.

On a 1956 episode of the game show "I've Got a Secret," a 96-year-old contestant revealed that his secret was that he witnessed John Wilkes Booth shooting Abraham Lincoln at Ford's Theatre. The episode is on YouTube.

I am now friends with people whom I wouldn't be seen with when I was in my 20s. I like the geeks, the nerds, the C listers. They are sincere people, and excellent friends, and I would do anything for them. I often think back of all the years I wasted on A Gays and beautiful people with expensive clothes and cars and homes and vacations. You could never count on them and they were always looking for "better" (meaning richer) people.

I read the obituary section of my local paper every day, and when I see a familiar name my first thought is that it might be a parent of someone I know, but then I realize it’s more likely a sibling.

Not getting jobs I am more than qualified for. I'm even dumbing down my resume and practically begging at this point. I guess this ageism thing is real and it's sending me down a deep hole of uselessness and failure. If I didn't have a few family members who would care I would just get it over with. It's hurts too much.

I'm sorry you're finding it so tough, R291...you'll be in heaven soon enough...best to keep going.

[quote] I'll see a lady in the supermarket, let's say, and she'll look to be in her 70s, with a poofy old-lady hairstyle, old-lady clothes, shoes and glasses.... But if you do the math, she'd have been in her 20s in the 1970s, at least *exposed* to mod or hippie styles, hair, hot pants, miniskirts, all that. Why would she, in her older age, look pretty much EXACTLY the way old people looked back then?

If one of these ladies were 75 years old today (2020), then she'd have been born in 1945. IMO, people develop their style in ~ junior high school or age 14. Style pretty much freezes at that point, for a lot of people. A lady born in 1945 would have developed her style in ~ 1959 or 1960. By 1975, this lady (born in 1945) would be 30 years old, too old to change.

I now detest young happy people. I smile at them, but am secretly hoping they get killed in an auto accident or struck with cancer. Awful, I know, but it’s how I feel. I do relish in the fact that everyone gets old, even if they are in denial like I used to be.

R293 - that's not true. You develop your sense of style as an ADULT, not some 14 year old. I would say your style is pretty much ingrained by your mid to late 30's.

In your teens and 20's, you're keeping up with trends and latest styles. Plus there's just some younger styles that you shouldn't wear after a certain age.

Moisturize my entire body.

Dressed up but not to girlie

Trying hard to look like Mr Furley

Twirly whirly !

Oh OP I condole you.

R264, my sister had the walk-in tub installed in her house. Be prepared to spend north of $10k.

When I would visit my parents I’d run into the parents of friends in the shops & they'd be surprised how well I turned out (I suffered a lot if neglect as a kid & acted out). It made me feel good about where I was in life. One day I stopped off at a supermarket in that town & realized that would never happen again because that generation was dead. Even if they weren’t they wouldn’t recognize me anymore. I feel so nostalgic for the world where people were older than me. There were so many of them around! I miss that world very much. I was so active & so were they. Now I’m in a dead marriage with a grown child who will never leave home. I’ll never have that retirement life of being carefree. All I see ahead is declining health & death. I used to be such a happy person with so much to look forward to.

[quote]I never take tub baths since I have to take a shower afterward to wash off all the dirty water off me after I finish.

Oh, MAARY!

I rarely leave the house on weekends, I have come to hate crowds and everything is so crowded and busy on weekends I would just prefer to stay home and not add to the crowding.

When I was younger, I thought material things were important - the right house, the right car, the right clothes, furniture, china, silver, etc. Now I think all of that is a burden that weighs me down. I'm purging my life of things and filling it with people, which are much more valuable to me.

Yes R299 I know it's not a cheap proposition.

Damn R300 , that was some bleak shit right there honey . My deepest sympathy . Id pack my shit if I were you and bid those two dudes farewell and go live a life !

I only do my grocery shopping on Saturday or Sunday mornings right after the store opens so I won't have to deal with the crowds

R300, I agree with R305. If you've got some life left in you why don't you move out and get a place of your own? That way you could start doing things that you want to do. It doesn't sound like your husband would care and Junior can certainly fend for himself. Please. Save yourself.

[quote] Fuck peer pressure, in almost any situation. It's a nice little perk of older age.

It helps that those peers are dying off.

[quote]my sister had the walk-in tub installed in her house. Be prepared to spend north of $10k.

Must also cost a fortune to fill it.

Don't forget that with a walk-in tub, you have to sit there, cold and shivering, until all the water drains out before you can open the door.

I shop on weekday mornings so I don't have to deal with the afternoon/evening crowds. I began to notice that, at that time of day, the store/mall was filled with elderly people, thought gawd, this place is full of geezers. It was then I realized that I was one of them.

I use that Japanese persimmon soap because I’m PETRIFIED of having that “old man smell”....I know I’m being crazy, I’m only 56, BUT STILL, WHY RISK IT?????

R288, so even in 1865 parents took their inappropriately young children (5 years old in this case) to the theater, eh? It seems some things never change.

I show up early for any appointment, meeting or dinner.

I used to be reliably late for everything when I was young.

I love this thread. You are all wonderful.

I sit outside as much as possible to enjoy nature. Even in late fall and early spring I bundle up and watch nature.

I sit out on the veranda in my wicker wheel chair with a woolen blanket over my lap and watch the world go by, making soft, chewing noises with my mouth.

I always pee before I leave my place to do anything and if there is a restroom at the destination I will pee again.

Fool the bros and heifers with promises of free stuff & cause the Democrats to lose another Presidential election.

I do love the way strapping young men call me “sir” (if they’re white) or “boss” (if they’re brown).

R291, hang in there! Your time is just around the corner.

In the meantime I’m sending you huge hugs. (But I’m also going for a grope, so be warned.)

[quote] Don't forget that with a walk-in tub, you have to sit there, cold and shivering, until all the water drains out before you can open the door.

Out of sheer curiosity, do you have to do the same thing as it fills up? I would think you would because how can you open the door if it’s filled already?

Filling and emptying a walk-in tub is really not a big thing. The drains are considerably larger than those in regular tubs to take advantage of the larger drain pipes for tubs, as opposed to sinks. Getting the tub filled and emptied is alarmingly fast.

I'm becoming more conservative as I get older-about politics at least.

[quote] alarmingly fast.

Are you afraid of getting sucked into the pipes?

R319- They started calling me SIR when I was 31 years old. A bit young don't you think?

I hate “Mr. [Last Name]”.

That’s my dad.

What is this old man smell you guys are talking about. Now I'm scared.

[quote]What is this old man smell you guys are talking about. Now I'm scared.

BO and bad breath as you get older and your sense of smell is diminished and you don't notice it as much. Just make sure you bathe, wear clean clothes and keep a pack of breath mints with you.

[quote] Just make sure you bathe, wear clean clothes and keep a pack of breath mints with you.

Buy a tongue scraper and use it every time you brush your teeth. 90% of the bacteria that causes halitosis comes from the coating on your tongue. Simply brushing your tongue with your toothbrush does not get all of it off.

I store soap in my bureau where my sweaters are to try to keep the moths out from there.

That is really were old man smell comes from. The mothballs that people use instead of something else.

[quote] Buy a tongue scraper and use it every time you brush your teeth.

Oh great! Another thing I have to add to my monthly ablutions.

[quote] Buy a tongue scraper and use it every time you brush your teeth.

A tongue scraper won't kill bacteria, Dollar Tree has hydrogen peroxide in a spray bottle, I spray my tongue and the inside of my mouth with hydrogen peroxide followed by mouthwash to get the taste of the hydrogen peroxide out my mouth followed up by brushing of the teeth.

R332 - are you the same gurl who takes a shower after your bath?

[quote]Oh great! Another thing I have to add to my monthly ablutions.

Another reason to turn over and go back to sleep.

R333 are you the same silly queen who calls men "gurl"?

Obviously, yes, R335 - but I'm not the only one, alas.

Yes, what is with the green moss forest that occasionally blooms on my tongue? I feel like Joni Mitchell. It doesn’t stink though.

Possible source of old man smell: unwashed hair.

My grandfather always smelled of hair tonic. It was always a comforting smell to me as a child.

So, r332, you go into the bathroom at, what, 8 and you’re in bed by 11?

I've stopped douching. No point in cleaning the garage if ya don't have a car.

R341 BUT what if you rent one for a weekend?

Fingering young holes

I love doing jigsaw puzzles. Practically wet my pants when I find that one odd piece that ties a section together. When I was young, I thought jigsaw puzzles were only for old people. Guess I was right...

[quote] Practically wet my pants when I find that one odd piece that ties a section together.

I wet my pants for other reasons. Like getting out of a chair, getting into a car or just about any other reason.

R344 and R345 We could start a new thread about wetting our pants. When? Where? Most embarrassing? I'd start the thread myself by it's time for my afternoon nap. Seriously.

^^ by=but I definitely need my nap.

I'm 78 and still wearing Levi type pants. I have non denim pants, but they too are cut like Levi's. I mostly wear Burkinstock oxfords for added stability. Ever since my first round of chemo my sense of balance has been completely diminished. When I go out I always grab a cotton sports coat even if I don't wear it. It's like a uniform. But in all honesty I have no idea what else I could wear. No one I know still wears dress trousers and I don't really care what anyone thinks. I have said that I could wear a suicide bombers vest and a pleated skirt and no one would notice. The old man smell haunts me but that's rather silly, I am an old man and the best I can do is shower daily. once a month I go to a "spa" and they scrub me over to remove dry skin and any zits they can find. It all makes laugh like a loon, which I surely have become.

R348 I love you and will scrub you all over whenever you ask.

What the eff is up with surprise second tinkle after I’ve zipped up at the urinal?

I end up walking around the office like I walked around the halls in junior high. Except instead of holding the notebook to hide an erection, I’m hiding some piss stain on khakis.

I forgot, I have a robe to go with my slippers and PJs. I had to force myself to use them at first, now I don’t feel right without them.

I kind of baby my skin now. If I have a cut, I take really good care of it so it will heal up. (Neosporin, isoprophyl alcohol, etc.)

R350, I don’t have that problem, but I’ve always had a second “bladder flap“, as I’ve thought of it. It’s like my kidneys have a little place that pees out after the main blasters are empty. Anyone else have this?

Bitch at my neighbors for loud pick up trucks and then suck em off with my teeth out

Thread asking about old man smell, inspired by this thread, at link.

My Dad once said to me something like:

“At some point in your life - usually between 14 and 25 - someone is going to turn to you and say ‘Wow, you look GREAT!’ From that day on, your version of how you look to others will never change. Even as you get older and styles change and you get heavier or more wrinkled, your default view will be ‘I look exactly the way I looked when I was XX years old!’ Then reality will hit you, and that view in the mirror will shock you. So, you can either wallow in depression or just go back to that fantasy of ‘Wow, you look GREAT!’ It may seem silly, but I prefer the latter.”

My Dad said a lot of smart things to me. I wish I had paid more attention.

This wonderful thread and the thing that most inspired you to start another thread was the old man smell references?

BIlly Boy, your Dad was right! My Grammy was 16 forever. I’m more like 24. I look in the mirror and see a stranger. I have to consciously not join young people in whatever they might be doing. This is all ok. Life is an adventure, and I want to find out what old age is like.

[quote] That is really were old man smell comes from. The mothballs that people use instead of something else.

Nobody uses mothballs anymore.

Billy - I'm totally in agreement with your dad! I will ALWAYS replay all the great things said to me when I was gorgeous. I'm no longer as beautiful but I can still see what I used to be...and carry myself that way today.

In other words you carry your vanity into old age. Sounds exhausting.

For me old age is not having to worry about that anymore.

I’m so fucking constipated tonight. I am in pain.

[quote]I pick off the onions from my pizza.

R19, why do you order pizza with onions?

R361 Please don't be one of those guys who just gives up on himself in his old age.

R363 I'm talking about eating pizza with other people! If I ordered it for myself, of course I wouldn't ask for onions. What an idiot.

I don’t have a smell anymore. It’s like all my glands went away. I never smell like BO. My breath never stinks. (I credit waterpik). The only way I would smell would be if I pissed or shit myself. I miss smelling. Not smelling bad, but just having a smell. I try colognes or body spray and they don’t “take.” I could probably squirt myself with the most annoying perfume on the planet and it would be gone in 5 minutes. The body lotion I use after showering is strictly to moisturize my dry skin and it has no smell. I wish it did, I might smell like something for 10 minutes. My ear wax doesn’t even smell. I don’t even smell like garlic after I eat it.

It’s not my sense of smell. I can smell the litter box in the basement as soon as there is a deposit. I flush it immediately & spray the air with heavy duty balsam & cedar spray and can still smell cat poop for hours.

Funnily enough I noticed a couple of smelly people when I went out this evening. Neither of them was old.

I always have an ache or pain, it just moves to a different part of my body from one day to the next. Today it’s in my lower back, yesterday it was in my right leg, the day before in my head, the day before that it was in my stomach.

I had a friend that casually mentioned to me that she forgets to wash her feet. I thought she was joking, but when I showered at her place, I saw her boyfriend had posted a sign “Wash your tootsies.” She was quite a pig. And then she died.

When I shave now I have to use a magnifying mirror 20X magnification so I don't miss any stray hair. This also give me a chance to do an ear inspection to catch those few hairs that are growing there now. I keep a pair of tweezers in the medicine cabinet just for the ear hairs which always grow back.

R369 How can someone be in a shower and not have clean feet? Even if she didn't purposely scrub them, just being in the shower cleans your feet. Your standing in soapy water. I don't get your post.

I drink an entire bottle of Magnesium Citrate every Sunday night so I'll start the week out with a completely cleaned out digestive system.

R370 Tweezing hairs from ears or nose makes my eyes water and I sneeze.

There's more to feet than just the soles.

I love that my DH put in a new shower with a BENCH.

You all stopped posting your ages again. It's helpful if you do. I am not really relating to most of these and I am 58 so it's interesting to me to connect your age with your post. I stay up every night until at least 11:30 and I never wake up because I need to go to the bathroom. On the weekends, if I sleep in until 9:30 or 10:00 or so, I still don't have to get up until I want to.

R376 I'm just curious: Why is it so important for you to know posters' ages? This thread is hilarious. If you don't relate to it, don't read it. This isn't a science project.

I'd always heard that old man smell was from forgetting to do things like wash your hair, behind your ears, and so on. Generally old woman smell is more like lotion and talcum powder—I guess they're habituated to better grooming as long as they're physically able to.

Agree with much in this thread: forgetting names, using men's rooms to pee, moving aches and pains and how going out can be a pain in the ass instead of a treat. My partner and I generally do our theatre, concert and opera going after work. Wondering what will happen when we retire in May? That being said, there's a kind of freedom that has come with aging, thanks to some luck and financial prudence we own our home, have minimal debt and are able to do international travel. After 27 years we are settled and have rewarding relationships with a small group of friends. The aging process is frightening as it relates to body parts,, discharges and other noises but, for me, it's preferable to the alternative. -69 years old

Can you get up from a chair without holding on to something? Can you get up from a chair without making a sound?

It sounds like you're ready to retire, R379. You should be looking forward to it. I retired a few months ago, at age 68. I thought I might miss going to work every day, at least a little. But I don't at all. I could have retired sooner than I did, and now I wish I had.

I actually like not posting ages. I find my (aching) back gets up when I read something I relate to, only to discover the "old man" posting is at least 15 years younger than I am. Petty, I know--what can I say? It's a talent of mine. I also think of people who are 15 years older than I am having the same reaction from me.

Anyway, here's one: I used to be able to sprawl anywhere, any surface, any contortion, and be instantly comfortable. I could be comfortable lying on boulders at the beach. Now? Give me a nice chair, couch or bed and it's a fucking 20 minute process to get settled in, pillows just right, ass dents located, elbows nicely propped, finding and sorting the thing that is invariably poking at me (sadly, not *that* sort of thing). Of course once I'm *finally* situated, I have to get up to piss, or find the fucking remote, or refresh my drink, or whatever (often a combination), and the process starts all over again.

When trying to get comfortable is exhausting, that is indeed "old man" territory. My dad used to go through this, and I never understood it. I feel bad for making fun of him.

I used to be able to house pizza, wings, beer, mozzarella sticks. Now I can't eat as much without getting acid reflux.

Since you mentioned acid reflux, I get signs of having it (throat clearing). Goes away if I improve my diet. I hear older people clearing their throats and I think: "Acid reflux." Kind of random, but Wendy Williams clears her throat a lot. The sound is kind of grating to my ears (throat-clearing).

i clean my ears constantly. it's like a fucking olive oil mill in there or something. qtips are in every drawer now just for this purpose.

When I was in my twenties I made friends with guy who 68 and retired from one of the car companies in Detroit. We were platonic friends for years. We had the same kind humor and could talk for hours. it got to the point that my parents would ask me why I sounded like an old man when ever I got out of a chair. So I've been making old nan noises most of ny life. Now I'm closer to 80 than I like and think of him often.

[quote]R378 You all stopped posting your ages again. It's helpful if you do.

Why don’t you MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX?!

R387, you forgot to call him "whippersnapper."

I don’t let myself tell people they deserve better footwear when they’re venting at work about life.

I can’t not look. I’m short so there’s legitimacy. “Your shoes make me sad” is inappropriate and I know that.

Also, um, I’m size-ist and I’m not discussing that one.

R380, I can stand up from a straight chair without holding onto anything, but I only sit in straight chairs at a dining table, home or restaurant. I can get out of my office chair silently, but I do push up from the arms.

Now, my lovely, wonderful, super-comfortable recliner? I practically need a winch to haul myself out of that, and I definitely am not silent. I make the excuse that it's so deep my legs can't get proper leverage, but I know that it's really because I'm old.

Oh, I guess that's another thing: I own and regularly sit in a La-Z-Boy recliner.

R390 I once was stuck in my lazy boy for 10 minutes. Couldn’t get the leverage to kick myself out — was laughing so hard I wet myself a little bit.

Oh god, I love (almost) all of you. One of the best threads ever. I feel so validated, and less depressed/alone about how my age has changed me. I know, Mary! Whatever.

Please keep bringing the stories, fellow old bitches.

I've had major spinal disc problems for many years. Major surgery several years back to replace 2 discs, now a 3rd is bad. I won't have surgery on it. If I had to do it over again I would have never had surgery on the first 2. The results have not been worth what I was put through. Now I can only sleep on my right side. I have two 5' long "body pillows" I use to wedge myself in (1 in front/1 in back) so I can't roll around in my sleep which can cause a great deal of pain. The doctors have been trying to push narcotics on me for years to control the pain and I'll go to my grave refusing. I'm not going to die an old long term drug addict.

Along with the back issues I have glaucoma (under control), cataracts (I'm waiting for them to get to the point they can be removed), arthritis, ulnar neuropathy in both arms, & dupuytren's contracture in the left hand (had the right hand operated on a few years ago and getting ready to have the left hand done).

Had to stop eating meat 35 years ago due to inherited digestive issues. Other than that my diet is very Mediterranean. Lots of fruits, vegetables, beans, brown rice, along with moderate amounts of certain types of fish.

But the doctors tell me I have the heart of a man half my age and perfect blood pressure so I guess it's not all bad.

Getting old ain't easy. But the way I look at it, it's better than the alternative.

R393- My father is 92 and he doesn't have as many complaints as you.

Buy shoes with Velcro, so I don't have to tie laces.

Public toilets seem lower these days, look for something to hold onto to get up.

They should have wipes in the stalls with bars on the wall so people can clean them before they sit down.

R397, how do blind people know when they're finished wiping?

R397 Huh?

At nearly 60, I am horrified whenever I attempt a selfie. I'm like, hi Dad,

I *think* I look young for my age. Still, when I tell people how old I am, I always expect them to say "oh my god, I'm shocked, you look so young!" They haven't been doing that lately.

[quote]I *think* I look young for my age.

Of course you think that. You're posting on DL!

[quote]New music sounds like remakes

r250, to be fair, there's been an 80s and 90s resurgence in the last decade or so. I hear a song in the grocery store and Shazam it, thinking it's something from my college years that I missed hearing at the time, and it's a new song, but it's very obviously influenced by the Wallflowers or Stereophonics or whoever.

And the songs I liked in the 80s and 90s I now know were often either influenced by or full remakes of older songs, so it's not really a new phenomenon.

Stay home all day - in sweats if I like - not worrying about making money.

Carry Dramamine everywhere. Motion sickness gets me surprisingly often, especially in winter when driving on sunny days and the sun is coming through the leaveless trees.

Wear lounge pants around the house in the evening. I don't know if that's really an "old man thing," but it feels like it.

See either a doctor, nurse, dentist, or physical therapist at least once a week. Thank God for Medicare.

/read R395's post

/looks over at shoes

I have no idea what you mean.

R371 I recently got athlete's foot. I'm not sure why, I live by myself and my shower is always cleaned regularly. Only thing I can think of is I often jump out of the shower and perhaps don't dry off thoroughly enough before putting on my socks.

I do most of this stuff I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I have a problem with numbness in my feet and lower legs. My doctor says it is the results of having taken AZT years. ago when AZT was the only HIV treatment that worked for limited time. Consequently I tend to fall down a lot. At 79 I use cane when outside of my house. This always makes me think of all the lesbian jokes about using a cane as a marker for identifying old lesbians, for which I am honored. I keep hoping there will one day be a drug that will regenerate those nerves as I feel numbness slowly moving up my legs into the calf area. I always surprised at how many people believe I am an alcoholic when I have never drank alcohol, don't like the smell of the stuff. I serve it to guests that enjoy it but I stick to Canada Dry ginger ale with a lime.

R399, when you wipe your ass, you don't check the paper to see if you have to wipe again?

R410, when I had pain in my calves at night, my doctor suggested a glass of Tonic Water before bedtime. He said the quinine helps the nerves. No problems since. You might give it a try in place of ginger ale.

Anyone having problems with leg cramps at night after you go to bed (or anytime) do yourselves a favor and buy Theraworx Relief asap. It literally stopped my nightly leg cramps after the first application. It's not cheap (anywhere from $19.00-$22.00 per bottle). But it is a wonder remedy.

I'm tired ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

I interrupt whatever I'm doing to scream "Matlock"

as I run to catch the beginning of this riveting TV show

In the words of Josh Brolin

"What used to be a rush of garden hose, now seems to have morphed into a multi-directional sprinkler,”

Talking of shoes - I have some very nice ones and I never wear any of them, just the ugliest most comfortable one pair that I wear constantly until they literally fall apart. Old man shoes, I guess.

I wish I could remember the make of these so I could replace them but the maker details wore off years ago.

R413 leg pain is often a Magnesium deficiency. My pain has been gone since taking a 500-mg tablet of magnesium each evening. CVS brand, 100 tablets, $6.49, sometimes on BOGO.

[quote] If I have a cut, I take really good care of it so it will heal up. (Neosporin, isoprophyl alcohol, etc.)

Just don’t drink too much of that.

Thanks R418, I tried that long ago. Didn't help me unfortunately.

I was having leg cramps often , then after trying meds I was told 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar every night before bed . Seems to work as I rarely have them any more .

I have prostate cancer and i'm being treated with hormone therapy. Haven't had an erection in 4 years and I don't mind. I'm 61.

Oh I should mention I still get hit on my 18-20 year olds with daddy fantasies. It's pretty funny.

If you have problems getting out of your recliner - your next one should be a model that is a Lift Chair which pushes the whole seat up and out.

I turn down young men hitting on me.

I'm not interested in boring little clonettes.

And, no, they can't have my money.

[quote]I have prostate cancer and i'm being treated with hormone therapy. Haven't had an erection in 4 years and I don't mind. I'm 61.

You don't need a "release"?

The urge diminishes pretty significantly past a certain age, though I'm told it's still healthy for the plumbing regardless of one's libido.

[quote]I find my (aching) back gets up when I read something I relate to, only to discover the "old man" posting is at least 15 years younger than I am.

Just reassure yourself that you're young for your age R382, and escaped the complaints for many extra years.

Thankfully I still seem to have no trouble sleeping or remaining comfortable in contorted positions. It's very difficult to get up from a kneeling position or sitting on the floor, but I blame that on knee injuries in my 20s and early 30s rather than age. My mother is 30 years older than me and has an easier time getting up to her feet from the floor.

R426 there's this thing called masturbation

My magic trick for leg and hand cramps is eating a banana. It works because someone I respect promised it would work.

Not sure what you were promised, but it works because it's a great source of magnesium, R429.

I learned that from American Dad R429

[quote][R426] there's this thing called masturbation

Gee, really?

^^^ How does that work?

Post threads on DL about the heart throbs of my youth.

R405, at home I consider sweat pants or jersey shorts and a t-shirt being fully dressed. FWIW, I’m pretty sure “kids these days” wear sweatpants and hoodies around the house all day, too. I don't think it's an old man thing.

My friend's stairs into his house are steep with no hand rail. I used to have no problem climbing them 10 years ago but last time I went I was embarrassed that I needed help. Since then I have avoided going to his house.

[quote] It's very difficult to get up from a kneeling position

Tee hee.

[quote]a Lift Chair which pushes the whole seat up and out.

I’m always afraid those things are going to malfunction and fling me right out the fucking window.

For the multi-linguals: Harder to keep your languages straight as you've aged? Blank out in one language, have to revert to another language that you do remember the word(s) you're looking for? And the ultimate, total blank-out, can't remember what the fuck it's called in any language?

I rant about the plethora of web sites that use this font. Who in the hell ever thought old people would be able to see that bleached out type style. Datalounge is hard enough for me to read, but some sites I don't even bother. I have an extension on my browser that allows me to increase the size of the font on any web site. And with some even that doesn't solve the problem.

I also have to use the magnifier app on my computer A LOT.

[quote] And the ultimate, total blank-out, can't remember what the fuck it's called in any language?

That's me and English is my ONLY language.

r440 Thank you for mentioning this! It is everywhere. That, and what I call ant fonts. Sometimes these cunt designers go all out and combine the two. A pox on them!

I can't read the RED print on the back of frozen food packages. Why are the microwave instructions in red? Even the green is hard to read. I don't understand why instructions aren't in black bold font.

I was just fussing on a Discord channel about their decision to use a red font, which is impossible for me to read. Any type that's on a gray background is unreadable for me nowadays, it pretty much has to be white on black or black on white.

While we're on this - why are best before dates often hard to find on various items and difficult to read when you do find them, printed on corners or grooves and ridges of a product?

And on DVDs & CDs - most people like to know the year a film or record was made, yet they're printed in tiny numerals mixed in with a jumble of words very often.

More of this please:

[bold]©1978[/bold]

Bit late in the day, but still.

[quote] Any type that's on a gray background is unreadable

They're so in love with gray these days for some reason.

r443 YES! The cooking instructions on packaging seems to have gotten smaller.

Also paper coupons (yes I still clip them is that a sign of being old?) the expiration dates are sometimes so small I can't read them. I got a flyer with Burger King coupons and since I rarely eat there any more I wanted to check the expiration date and it was so small I couldn't read it.

Just the other day for me, r448. I went to find a magnifying glass before I said “fuck it. Now I won’t go there anyway. It’s not worth it.”

It looks like many of you could do with a visit to get your vision prescription updated. Especially if you can't read this without a magnifying glass.

There is no way I am going to read 3 point type at this point. If they can't make the most important info a little larger, I agree, fuck 'em.

All this talk about coupons -- I am so old I remember when coupons would actually have NO EXPIRATION DATE printed in the expiration date section. Imagine that.

OI can longer distinguish between black and navy blue.

R453 Yep. I only wear black dress socks for that reason.

Are you sure they’re black, r454.

Lol.

[quote]My friend's stairs into his house are steep with no hand rail. I used to have no problem climbing them 10 years ago but last time I went I was embarrassed that I needed help. Since then I have avoided going to his house.

Good for you. I'd have done the same. One less friend is far preferable to a possibly life-threatening injury. One always knows far too many people anyway.

R455 Good one! Whatever they are (black or navy blue) at least they match!

I used to be able to swing myself through my bedroom window out onto the flat roof - I had to go out there this week and it took me about half an hour and I cut my forehead on the window frame.

Same with the loft hole in the ceiling, I could just pull myself up through the hole when I first moved here. No more.

R458 Why the hell are you doing this? Why can't you use the fucking front door? Who lives with you that you're sneaking away from? I need to know more about this!!

There IS no door out onto the roof on the second floor.

Same with the loft hole in the ceiling.

[quote]I can longer distinguish between black and navy blue.

[quote]Yep. I only wear black dress socks for that reason.

But you were once able to tell the difference?

I'm creating a series of paintings for a friend in the first of which midnight blue is the predominant color. But my friend asked me not to use it again, because it looks black to him. I've asked other people what it looks like to them, and most say midnight blue. But another friend says he sees black when he looks with just one eye, and midnight blue with the other.

The guy I'm doing the paintings for is in his 70s, the other in his 60s. I have no problem seeing midnight blue and I am in my 60s.

We have loss of color perception to look forward to. Who knew?

Until you get your cataract surgery R461 - then things will be colorful again - and too damn bright!

Yes R461 I was able to easily distinguish black and navy blue. I don't when they became one and the same. It has a lot to do with a lack of light. for years I would have to put the socks/ties/whatever directly under a light to differentiate. My guess is that started in my 50s but even the light didn't help in my 60s!

R461, when I bought Navy blue pants to wear with a pink shirt, a friend said "they're black." Also realized I had worn a black and Navy sock without seeing the difference. r

I’ve always had a hard time distinguishing between navy blue and black, since I was a teenager. Other colors, I’m still really good with.

R439 Yes! I'm in my mid-40s and speak English, Spanish, French, Italian, and Japanese (I live and work in locations that require it). I also read German and Portuguese well but don't speak either of those.

I'm now starting to mix up the Italian and Spanish frequently, which is driving me nuts.

I shit at work without trying to suppress the sound of flatulence until everyone else leaves or until someone flushes.

Oh my, you clearly were not raised right.

[quote]I shit at work

OMG in America? - with all the slits between the doors and such?

I always hated the loos in America.

I do too, R469.

But I hate even more trying to hold it in until the restroom is cleared out. And age is a great “who cares?” release for me.

R467. Shitting at work is repugnant and you must be a real loon to proclaim that you NOW do it with pronounced relish! Makes me wonder what ELSE you do!!

In my case, I couldn’t see green. I knew I had a problem when I started having difficulty seeing the green traffic lights. Red I could distinguish ok, so I wasn’t a complete menace on the roads, but when the light changed to green, it looked to me like it just turned off. I went to an ophthalmologist right away, and he did the first cataract surgery a week later. I was only in my late fifties.

R472 Are you sure you weren't/aren't color blind? My brother could never see greens or blues (and I can't remember the other colors he blocked). We always had to choose his ties and keep him away from plaids.

If it’s not well illuminated I mistake aubergine for black.

How the hell do you mistake Ernest Borgnine for black?!

No R473, I’m not color blind at all. Cataracts can really mess up your color perception. After I had the surgery on the first eye, I was able to compare my color perception between my "good" eye and the "bad" eye that still had a cataract. Big difference!

R432 there's this thing called sarcasm

R476, I know what you mean. I had cataracts and didn’t realize that my old lenses just weren’t just cloudy but also a little yellowed. After surgery everything looked bluer and sharp and colors popped.

[quote]I'm now starting to mix up the Italian and Spanish frequently, which is driving me nuts.

R466 I'm having to use Google Translate more and more to remember words in English, my first language.

Deli packaging has become too hard to open, with those fucking tabs and all.

Oh, and my toes are turning into claws.

R480 Don't start me on packaging! I'm ready to take a hammer to this bottle of PeptoBismal. I cannot get the fucking spiral/plastic/paper thingy off the sealed top. Tried to pry it off with a butter knife and knicked a knuckle. Then I tried sawing it off with a sharp knife and managed to draw blood. I'm doing all of this on the toilet because I've already shit my pants trying to get the top off this fucking bottle. Why didn't I buy a box of Pepto tablets instead of the liquid? Jesus.

That young kids hanging around on your lawn is really a problem!

[quote]Don't start me on packaging! I'm ready to take a hammer to this bottle of PeptoBismal. I cannot get the fucking spiral/plastic/paper thingy off the sealed top. . . . Why didn't I buy a box of Pepto tablets instead of the liquid?

I don't know about Pepto tablets, but some OTC tablets can also be a challenge to open. At one time, it was easy to pop tablets out of plastic blister packaging with a foil backing. Now, the foil is too tough to allow that, and the only way to get the tablet out is to peel the foil away from the plastic by trying to grasp its teeny corners. It's maddening.

I don't see myself as old, but I cut myself on the metal foil of the pill blister packages all the time now which never happened when I was so-called young. Like, WTF?

I don't see myself as old, but I cut myself on the metal foil of the pill blister packages all the time now which never happened when I was so-called young. Like, WTF?

On average, I have to visit my dentist twice a month. There is always a painful problem with my teeth and gums. But I am starting to believe that my dentist sucks, because I have the impression that in a lot of times he doesn't get it right the first time. But I go to him since childhood (for 30 years now).

Actually, I've never thought about it - but it's true. The fonts for cooking instructions can be really fucking small or in a type color that doesn't have enough contrast with the background color.

I just picked up a random box of quinoa in my cabinet - the cooking instructions were in light brown font over a light brown background. I had to put it 2 inches from my face to see what it said.

R487 It's time. Invest in a magnifying glass. R486 Ya think maybe it's time to change dentists? "He doesn't get it right the first time"? Could it be he's causing the painful teeth and gum issues? Yikes. He must view you as a walking gold mine!

You may not see yourself as old R485/485, but you are starting to repeat yourself.

You could also take a picture of something that’s hard to read, then make the type larger. I just did that with my new modem / Wi-Fi router. All the important stuff, like the Wi-Fi password, was written on the unit. Contrast was good, tho, black on white.

haircuts way more often.

I don’t know if gray hair grows faster. But it sure grows weirder. My head is one giant cowlick.

My father is 92 years old and even he says that I talk to myself and repeat myself.

I used to do Standing Room for a matinee and than a evening show same day, but now I can barely make it to a seat without every bone hurting, and if the seats are in the balcony, Oy, the stairs.

I have no recollection of a book once I've finished reading it. NOTHING.

And I read A LOT.

R494 Oh boy. When I bookmark my page to come back the next day, I have to go back at least one chapter to catch up on the plot. Sometimes I have to start a book from the beginning. And these are books I LIKE!

R484 I have the same problem. But with movies as well. I can't tell you off the top of my head what film I last saw. Nothing seems to stick with me anymore.

I meant r494

[quote][R494] Oh boy. When I bookmark my page to come back the next day, I have to go back at least one chapter to catch up on the plot. Sometimes I have to start a book from the beginning. And these are books I LIKE!

Oh, forget "plot" - I can't read fiction anymore, my mind wanders and I can't remember anyone's name and I get into a complete muddle. There's NO pleasure in it for me.

I went to the auto parts store and bought an oil filter wrench with the rubber strap. Best bottle cap remover ever. You can remove any size.

R499. That’s a great tip, Granny!

I would DIE if I couldnt read anymore . I love books,always have. One of my biggest fears of aging is not being able to see anymore so I couldnt read .

R496 It's me R495 Movies are even worse than books. I remember seeing American Hustle in the theatre and I kept poking my bf and asking who was who and what was happening. He finally moved two rows down and took the jujus with him. Just too fucking confusing. A movie can have no more than 4 major characters and only one subplot otherwise I'm a goner. Also, movies must be kept to under 2 hours or I fall asleep. I can't imagine watching The Irishman. This is why I love TCM. Great old movies. 90 minutes tops. And if I fall asleep, I can rewatch on the app. Ooh, ooh - example of a perfect movie: Detour. Two main characters and only two minors. Runs about an hour. PERFECTION!

R501 I understand completely. I was raised in a household of readers. My mother lost her ability to read in her early 90s and it was heartbreaking BUT we hooked up with a 'books on tape' program run by our local library. It's different than audio books which come on CDs. Anyway, that really helped her but there is no substitute for reading the written word and smelling that paper! I won't do Nook or Kindle because I have to feel that paper...

Watching movies - I treat them like novels. Stop them and restart them. Pick up again the next day. I find sitting thru a whole movie very draining, I'm watching a movie right now. It's on pause.

I've been having headaches these last few day and have been listening to an audio book - it runs along with your book on kindle. I've been loving it. Helps that the narrator is a fine English actress with a voice to match.

[quote]I won't do Nook or Kindle because I have to feel that paper...

Exactly what I, in all the pretentiousness I could muster, said until I realized I needed Kindle's text embiggener much more than I needed "that feel on paper..."

[quote]I won't do Nook or Kindle because I have to feel that paper...

If you do the audio thing you don't have to hold it.

I said the same thing about Kindle and needing to smell the pages, until I got a Kindle. Between the number of books you have at your fingertips and the ease of calling them up, or switching books, I love it.

I resisted moving from hard copy books to ebooks for years. But a combination of no more space for books in the house, and increasing difficulty in reading them forced me to change. It's taken a while, and I really missed the smell and feel of a newly purchased book, but I've finally gotten used to ebooks

[quote] and I really missed the smell and feel of a newly purchased book

They seem to be using poorer quality paper these days. Rougher. Maybe it's just here in England.

And most of the bookshops have gone.

[quote]I have no recollection of a book once I've finished reading it. NOTHING. And I read A LOT.

In that case, you could save yourself some money just by reading the same book over and over again.

I don't like the smell of most new books now, especially if they have photos. Most cookbooks stink out loud. It's been this way for a while, though. I can barely stand to open [italic]Entertaining[/italic] or any of Giuliano Bugialli's picture books, the printing chemical smell is so strong.

I do just that sometimes, R510...but I also have so many books I haven't read, I feel I need to read them.

[quote]I don't like the smell of most new books now, especially if they have photos.

And the dust covers feel oily.

I used to love the smell of Doubleday on Fifth Avenue.

R499, I have one of those, too. Also known as strap wrenches or baby boa wrenches. They're good but don't really work on something very small. I think they're also called plumbers' wrenches. Inexpensive as well!

R511 That the glossy pages, not print-on-paper. I know of what you speak! There's something about color pictures and the heavier paper that smells odd and feels odd.

It's not always the glossy pages, though, r515. By way of identifying a few, I would go over to my bookcase and sniff some recent non-glossy cookbooks, but I'm so sick, I don't think I could smell them.

I've displaced 3 ribs in 6 months. At least I can say I was doing it exercising- HIIT class, surfing and yoga. Recently, I woke up with a groin strain- how the hell did I do that? It went away in 3 days. I don't wake up refreshed, I hobble out of bed.

And the old person smell? I think it's the smell of decay. And tonsil stones.

[quote]I've displaced 3 ribs in 6 months. At least I can say I was doing it exercising- HIIT class, surfing and yoga.

Exercise can kill you. I avoid it assiduously, especially now that I'm old.

I may be almost 60, but I am very addicted to my phone. To the point where the only time I read a book is in the bathtub, into which I have crawled very very carefully.

I’m an alcoholic.

[quote]the only time I read a book is in the bathtub

I could never do that. Get a book wet? No way.

R521 I agree. Never read in the tub for fear of damaging a book. Also, no electronics!!

I also am having a hell of a time eating right . Nothing taste good anymore ,so when something does I tend to eat too much of it .

R523 Yes, I've noticed my taste buds are dulling down. And when I do get a taste for something, it's never as good as I imagined. The only advantage is that it keeps my weight in check. But I know I'm not getting the nutrition I need. And I can't do any of that Boost/Ensure shit because I'm lactose intolerant. Food isn't the comfort it once was...

I'm only 46, but I stopped going to see movies in theaters about five or six years ago. I hate being trapped somewhere for hours without being able to pause it for a bathroom break or to get a drink. Plus, I tend to doze off there. Rather stay at home with Netflix.

I’m just grateful I got a husband and we don’t hate each other. Loveless marriages, or “arrangements” won’t work for me...ever. I’m lucky enough to be financially stable with my own money...and we enjoy each other’s company. So it works. I hope everyone finds love in their life...I didn’t think it mattered....it does.

I look through the hundreds of movies and TV series in my Amazon watchlist, but end up watching a couple of episodes of Perry Mason for the umpteenth time.

R525, when I go to the movies - which isn't often these days - I keep reaching for the non-existent remote to rewind so I can pick up a bit of dialog or a plot point that I missed.

Movies are too long these days anyway. Whatever happened to good 90 minutes movies?

This is for my friend at R156 whom I was teasing at r157.

I woke up this morning and said “I don’t think I took my pills last night. Nope I definitely didn’t.”

R514 I use mine to open bottle caps as small as 1/2" with no problem. Mine looks different than the one I posted the image of as I didn't spend much time looking for a similar type. And I paid $3.00 for it.

Mine looks more like these.

When I was a kid in he early 1980's my father would be at a traffic light in his 1980 Chevrolet Caprice Classic- he would close his eyes and say to me-Let me know when the light changes. The other day I was driving him in my Subaru Crosstrek and I said to him-Let me know when the light changes-so I could close my eyes for 20 seconds. It's come full circle.

Lol R531. Sometimes I do that too when I’m by myself. I’ll put the car in park and just shut my eyes.

R424 bought a lift recliner two years ago and so glad I did! It has zero gravity and Trendelenburg position too! It’s so comfortable and I often fall asleep in it.

I've learned to keep my tool box upstairs, instead of in the basement. The other day, I spent a half hour trying to open a bottle of ultra-pasteurized Half & Half. I cut myself with a knife just trying to remove the plastic seal. Then, the cap wouldn't budge, even though I have a jar opener. Eventually, I had to use a hammer and a drill bit to make a hole in the cap, and had to use the jar opener to hold the bottle while I used a C-clamp wrench to unscrew the lid. I had Half & Half all over my lap (and my favorite chair) by the time I finally got it open.

That sucks R534! Why are these things so darn hard to open?

Yes it's weird when we start saying things our father's said.

I always wanted us to get the latest stuff - like when Touch Tone came out I was really keen to get them and I remember my father saying "I like the old phones, they're familiar"...same with cars, he kept some of them for years because he hated new cars...now I feel the same and find myself saying "They're familiar!" - trading in my old car last year was like a death.

[quote]I always wanted us to get the latest stuff

So Scotch Plains.

[quote]when I go to the movies - which isn't often these days - I keep reaching for the non-existent remote to rewind so I can pick up a bit of dialog or a plot point that I missed.

I find myself doing that in the car—starting to stab at the Sirius/XM radio to "rewind" something I'd just heard.

It takes me longer to do things. Like three days to read this whole thread.

Shake my head at the effects technology has on society. I am aghast at this trend of viral conflict videos, white vs brown, male vs female,young vs old and am convinced that they are damaging society. I really think most of these videos take what might have been minor events and blow them hugely out of proportion and contribute to the already widespread anger and divisiveness present in this country. I think filming and posting a public argument is grossly irresponsible. And I don't understand the psychology behind it.

Shake my head at the effects technology has on society. I am aghast at this trend of viral conflict videos, white vs brown, male vs female,young vs old and am convinced that they are damaging society. I really think most of these videos take what might have been minor events and blow them hugely out of proportion and contribute to the already widespread anger and divisiveness present in this country. I think filming and posting a public argument is grossly irresponsible. And I don't understand the psychology behind it.

Another old guy thing: posting in the wrong thread.

Well looky looky. I went over to Dollar Tree to purchase a bunch of plastic kitchen storage boxes. As I walked down the aisle where they sell hardware items this was hanging on the wall. They only had one so I grabbed it up. Brought it home and tried it out on a small bottle cap and it works like a charm. And best of all it only cost $1.00.

I do need to run it through the dishwasher tonight though. It looked as if someone with greasy paws had been handling it.

^^Sorry.

Such a deal R543! As I get older I look for more bargains and get excited when I save a bunch of dough!

R408 I went out and purchased two of these towels. It’s hard for me to bend at the waist to dry between my toes as I get older. It works really well! The secret is keeping your feet really dry and you won’t get athletes foot.

r541, the thinking in showing fights especially racial fights is to keep us divided so the minority maintains the power over the majority working class.

America has always been an angry, violent, racist, bigoted place. People are now more aware of it due to instant information.

r546, thank you for the pic of a toe towel. I will make a replica out of one of my older towels 25,00 is too steep for this old guy. When I was very young and my father would get me ready for bed, the last thing he would do was to run a wet wash cloth between my toes then do the same thing with a dry hand towel. The memories of 70+yrs gone by.

Awwww your dad sounds like a sweet & caring man R549.

It's interesting that this thread, compared to most threads, loads very slowly. Just like us old timers I guess.

It has to do with the number of responses, r551.

This thread is almost filled up already.

And ain't it grand R552? I know we get razzed a lot for being a sizable majority here at DL (and it looks like that rings true) but I was delighted to read that there are many others with the same struggles I've been having as I aged. What else can we do but keep on truckin'?

Keep on fucking, maybe?

Who are we kidding? At our age it’s like trying to shoot pool with a string.

Seeing old straight guys with kids, I think you can try, r554.

Is that pronounced Puh-fizer?

R555-Yes OLD , STRAIGHT/BI guys like that dried up LIZARD -MICK JAGGER who had a kid at 72 years old.

Every time I see some ancient movie star with some 20 something wife or girlfriend my first thought is "pathetic old fool".

Get frustrated by buttons.

I wear things that are really uncool but I don’t care. I used to wear prescription Ray-Ban sunglasses. But they’re really expensive! And you can lose/damage them. The last pair I had the lenses suddenly went cloudy from I guess the film being old? Who knows. I have now progressed to clip on sunglasses. I don’t care how dorky I look they’re really practical and work very well!

You know what's bad? You're so used to GPS guidance, that if you happen to rent a car without it, you're almost at a loss on how to read an actual map and retain info. Especially if you're in areas with no cell service.

Lever jar openers are great. I'm still using one my mom got as a promotional drug premium thingie for Rynatan when she was a nurse back in the 1990s.

[quote]And ain't it grand [R552]? I know we get razzed a lot for being a sizable majority here at DL (and it looks like that rings true) but I was delighted to read that there are many others with the same struggles I've been having as I aged. What else can we do but keep on truckin'?

Yeah, but because of all the shit we have put in our bodies for decades I know a few 30 somethings that are starting to feel like shit already too.

A long time ago we had a thread about when we started to fall apart, and I remember quite a few people said around the age of 37.

Watch it, r557.

Unlike most young people I know I take extreme care of my personal belongings, clothing, automobile, furniture, etc. I have 25 year old dress shirts that look as if they were just purchased and shoes that are in almost new condition that are older than a lot of the people on this board. I know there isn't the slightest chance I could ever become impoverished but I run my financial life as if every dollar might be the last. I'm not cheap but I pay close attention to where every dime goes and I make sure I'm getting what I'm paying for before I hand my money over to anyone. If I get the impression a business person is trying to pull the wool over my eyes, or cheat me, or treating me dismissively in any way there is hell to pay. There is a computer salesman who can vouch for that after he lost a $3000.00 sale because of his lack of customer service skills.

I love giving sour old goats apoplexy by fucking with them. Makes my day!

And that's why you'll probably die poor R567.

Really? Keep it up, CSG. If you love doing it, do it again.

Pretty soon your employer will be fucking with you.

(When you live long enough you learn stuff like this.)

IF, I manage to go out to a social function, even on the weekends, I'm already planning what time I'm going to leave.

I feel like anything that ends at 8 PM during the week is too late. I occasionally attend certification-related dinners. They start at 6 and end at 8. Even though, I will miss rush hour traffic at that hour, it seems late. I won't get home until 8:30 pm!!

I shower at night because I want to sleep later in the mornings.

I prefer being at home with my cat and watching TV rather than hanging out with people I can barely stand. When I was younger, I was the one planning Happy Hour get-togethers and trips.

When we have meetings where meals are served, I feel like nothing is healthy. Bagels, rolls, muffins, wrap breakfast sandwiches that are barely warm??!! How about hard-boiled eggs, fruit, etc.??

I have Netflix and would rather watch The West Wing or Mad Men (which I saw when they originally aired) to any of the new shows.

R560 I wear those clip ons too! I love them and if you break or lose them they’re only 16 bucks to replace!

I watch Jeopardy! every night, and post about it on DL.

But what about wheel of Fortune?

Every time on the Wheel of Fortune they claim to be “America’s Game.” I always thought that was Baseball.

I came home with a shitload of jello, ice pops and Gatorade for my husband's colonoscopy on Wednesday. He's going to be miserable not eating for 24 hours. But luckily I have some good edibles to get me through his misery.

Can't you just give him a full bottle of Magnesium Citrate the night before? If that doesn't work him, nothing will.

With the endless threads directed at Eldergays, it's clear no one is interested in hearing anything from anyone in their twenties.

R577- NO, were not.

I post on DataLounge.

I also watch TV now. When I was younger, I’d tape the evening network news and sometimes watch it at 11. But I missed a lot. I missed the finale of MASH. I entirely missed the Sopranos and 6 Feet Under, etc.

I have dozens of new and/or gay-themed movies and TV shows in my queues on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu… But I come home and I watch current network TV shows that I have recorded, plus old sitcoms, Super Password, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, EastEnders...

I love watching Buzzr in the afternoon lately. Concentration with Alex Trebeck being cunty to the contestants. Then Password from the sixties which is the best. Followed by Password Plus and Super Password. It’s lovely.

I listen to the news station on the radio when I'm driving home from work, instead of music. That's when I realized I was old.

I never felt old until I stopped driving home from work.

Here's a new one mother -- I have my arm in the air and am applying deodorant when something catches my eye. I look at my arm and it looks like the arm of an 80 year old woman. I am 64 and (marginally) male. <

I wonder if at some point parts of me will just start dropping off like some zombie movie.