DL's favorite gay therapist tells you why you should be needy

He talks a lot.

OP, you NEED to stop using anti-gay hate speech such as q—-r to refer to gay people.

And needy people are more likely to need therapy, what a coincidence

I need Jiffy Pop hair.

Yeah--when you look like that, it's easy to be needy and demanding. If you don't, gay guys will write you off if you ask for or expect anything.

Being needing is an entirely different thing than letting, say, a partner know that your needs are not being met. He's a fucking imbecile.

I wonder what would happen if I tell him that I need him and his WeHo Instacrew to include me in a one of their famous group photos. I'm black, short and bald.

He needs to shut up and present hole.

Dusty did it best:

I [bold]need[/bold] this vapid queen to stop posting YouTube videos.

I guess this is what Barbra was talking about.

Not...as bad as usual. But I need for you to not call me "queer," Matthew.

I feel needy

He is right that people need more clarity about what they want in their lives, and in their relationships, and be more honest about it.

I hope he gets aids. Not HIV. Full blown AIDS

Why, r15? Why would you wish that on someone, you evil fuck?

Bump

Should I post this dumb bitch’s nudes again??

Yes, r18. The dongful ones, in particular.

No—that’s not cool. It’s sufficient to discuss the post and how we all need to be needy af

Another life coach/real estate salesperson.

"Queer" is a great word and you tiresome old queens need to lay off your griping about it. "Gay" works well for white male middle class political centrists, but the world of same-sex desire is much, much, bigger than those "gay" men will ever admit, acknowledge or accept. Which you prove every time you bellyache about the far more inclusive word "queer."

I'm a white male middle class eldgergay, but it's the gay men with their minds closed and lips permanently pursed that make me grateful for the word "queer." I embrace it without reservation because I don't want to smother under their judgemental gaze. Their misguided campaign agains the word "queer" is doomed to fail, yet they do not stop. Fools.

The "far more inclusive word 'queer'" does not include me, r22.

If you include your address, though, I can mail you a nice tire iron. You can beat yourself off with it, then beat yourself up with it, queerie dearie.

And, on cue, R23 proves my point once again.

I proved nothing of your "point," r24.

Is that hair real?

I think the word he's looking for is "vulnerable," not needy.

"Vulnerable" is a good word. But "needy" is better suited to WeHo and environs.

I need a man, what can I do? Didn't want to sound desperate though.

What's the difference between having needs and being needy? Seems like everyone has needs, right?

I feel like 'needy' is a dismissive term that people who don't want to commit or treat their partners properly use to make someone else feel like they are at fault.

There are a small percentage of people that have real issues and perhaps unrealistic expectations from their partner. That's a separate thing.

I don't know if the guy in the video is with the right guy - the other guy caved in, but it doesn't seem it was what he wanted. I would keep one eye open on the guy he's dating. It's not going to end well.

"Queer" allows dullards like R22 to think being a homosexual is special and unique.

It's not. You suck dick. You're "a white male middle class eldgergay" as you accurately state.

No one cares.

He sounds like a guy possessed by a woman.

[quote] I hope he gets aids. Not HIV. Full blown AIDS

Not only that, but I hope he gets AIDS from Danny Pintauro. That's worse than regular AIDS.

I actually don't want him to die in a fire for once.

He could still go away, though.

Why these aging circuit queens like him and the late Bob Bergeron think that making a segue into being a life coach and/or therapist is a good idea just baffles me. I can thin k of few types of people more ill-prepared to tell other people how to live their lives.

He's hilarious in his videos because he talks about HIMSELF non-stop. That's not what a good life coach or therapist should do.

R30, when I was in shrink school in the 1990s, it was already becoming clear that people who were assertive about their needs were often considered the problem, even though their requests for time, attention, appropriate behavior, etc., were often legitimate. The term codependency came up far too often to describe people who were only trying to assert themselves as people worthy of consideration and respectful treatment.

I think the problem has only worsened. Now we've taken the approach that people can't change/won't change, so there's nothing you can do about it. This makes people even more entrenched in their bad behavior as it becomes normalized. The most active arenas of shrinking these days are treating damaged goods and trauma, not improving human relationships.

But I cannot take poofy hair capped teeth seriously. I simply cannot. He clearly markets himself to the worried well (and white).

[quote] Now we've taken the approach that people can't change/won't change, so there's nothing you can do about it. This makes people even more entrenched in their bad behavior as it becomes normalized. The most active arenas of shrinking these days are treating damaged goods and trauma, not improving human relationships.

You can't force people to change. You can't force addicts to get, and stay, clean / sober. You can't force a romantic partner to stay in a relationship, because you can't let go. You can't force a romantic partner to change, because you think then he or she is an even better fit that way.

We really do need to get away from this silly notion that (brute) force is needed to make good things FOR US happen and believe it's best for others, too.

Life isn't about getting it right at the first try. We go through relationships to get more clarity about what we want with each new so-called failure. Ideally, you go from any guy will do to a more and more specific type of guy by "learning from your past mistakes" and having a better understanding of what you look for in your ideal mate. Unfortunately some guys don't learn and are trapped in a loop to learn the same lesson over and over gain (for example, a guy who isn't mean and physically violent) believing that they don't deserve better.

Every single moment in our lives is about learning, and receiving more and more clarity, from our experiences which direction we would prefer to go. And that includes relationships. It's only natural that most, if not all, relationships have their expiration date. And that's ok, because it gives us the opportunity to experience a greater understanding about ourselves and it leads to more fruitful relationships and experiences.

Matthew’s affected.

Matthew’s awfully pretentious to assume gay men want to be called queer.

I wonder what his WeHo Insta Squad thinks. Are they needy enough?

Well, R40... gay men don't always object to the word. But some do. And they are almost always white, middle-class, male, and stuck in their white, middle-class, male, little world.

lunch for r42

I don't. I hated being called it by bullies in school and I hate it even more now. It's hate speech, and hate speech is incitement to violence.

Ugh - stop hijacking threads with your semantics war. Write a letter to Dempsey—he’s the one who used the word queer. You are virtue signaling at the wall. Run your personal agenda elsewhere.