Let's be a straight dad trying to give the Birds and Bees talk

I'm the awkwardness around Dad trying to find out if Junior is a giver or receiver.

“Toiletbaby, avoid broke bros; they’re already fucked. Rich bros need love, too”

Wash your damn stinky feet

“This one time, at Boy Scout Camp...”

You know, when I was your age, I had a buddy and I was a little curious too..

I’m the dry heaves taking over as the instructional conversation heads southward.

“It’s when the man goes up in the man.”

I’m the screwdriver I give to junior for practice.

I'm straight dad asking his gay brother-in-law to please give him this talk instead.

“Pull back the skin and wash real good. Ain’t nobody like head cheese, son.”

I'm the father's shocked expression when the boy asks about rimming.

You know, *mumble* *mumble* when, uh, a guy and ... uh, *mumble* *mumble* when, uh, two people really like each other *mumble* *mumble* *nervous hand wringing* *looking at the nearby clock* *wiping off sweat on forehead*

“It’s professional wrestling without the underpants and you stick to your age class”

R13, hilarious!

I'm Dad's horror at seeing a jar of vaseline on Junior's nightstand.