Let's Be a Mystery Movie based around this painting

I am the fat cells just waiting to be fed and expand to our glorious bloated destiny!

I'm the art historian who says, "Wait a moment! This is an overpainting! The hands were originally actually half this size!"

I'm the Russian golddigger.

That should be Slovenian golddigger.

Slovenia was a part of the Soviet Union. The golddigger could be former KGB.

The "artist" who painted that picture must have been given a boatload of cash (and a ton of mind altering drugs) to make DJT look that good.

I'll be the none too subtle suggestion of incest with the daughter.

I'm the missing set of golf clubs that match the ones in the painting.

That face is so fucking evil. Smugly evil.

OMG I had no idea that was supposed to be trump! Haha what a ridiculous sycophantic image.. That might as well be of Winston Churchill.

R6, portrait painters that tend to paint truthfully don’t tend to be very successful.

This is actually a portrait of Jack Abbot/Terry Lester - done badly!

This looks like the Patrick Swayze portrait of the pedophile in Donnie Darko that Jake burns when he sets the house on fire.

I'm the leaking faucet behind the exterior wall of the Conservatory. What's this mysterious red stain?