I know what R13 meant. There are a lot of married women with kids that enjoy their jobs well enough, but trying to raise kids when you’re never home, or so exhausted when you get home that you can hardly keep your eyes open, ends up being a burden on women.
I used to work with a woman with a teenage son. This kid must have been a real piece of work, because the school was constantly calling to say her kid was fighting or failing his classes. Constantly demanding she pick him up right now. She and her husband were decent people. That kid was always in trouble and it was obvious she was just fucking sick of it, but she never complained or badmouthed him. He’s probably in jail by now.
Another couple, my supervisor and his wife, had two small kids. The wife worked at a hospital and could never get time off. The kids were in daycare and got every disease known to man there, one after another. It was, kid #1 gets sick, gives it to kid #2, then wife, then husband. Kid #2 gets sick, gives it to 1, then husband then wife. That guy was sick almost constantly. Horrible runny noses, or the flu, but had to work. Had zero time off. Any time he had was to stay home with sick kids. They would threaten to fire the wife if she took off.
People like this need a stay at home parent. Their lives were hell. Trying to mitigate disasters at home while never being there, kids out of control but can’t leave work, trying to send sick kids to school because there’s nobody at home. The truth is, in a lot of cases you do need a stay at home parent. Problem is, no one can afford it. Virtually every woman I know with kids would rather stay at home with them, because trying to be in two places at once does not work, and most women would like to spend time with their kids when they’re small. That is never going to change. This is what women say when they are away from men’s prying ears and are being honest.
And if men expect a spotless house and clean, happy kids, work three jobs, because mama can’t do that from the office. Women are expected to be perfect Donna Reeds, AND work a job, and that’s ridiculous. Pick one.