How do you meet someone at the Y...or is that a mistake?

What is this, 1972?

I learned all of this at age 15.

First thing you do is SMILE at the guy. If he smiles back start some small talk...if you want to go for a coffee say "Is there a good place to get coffee round here?"

If it's awkward and he's unfriendly, he's not the right guy.

It sounds like you hand the power over to the other person. Steer your own ship. Guys like that. People like that in general. Otherwise you'll end up in a situation you don't like.

Thanks r3...feel free to elaborate though. What have you said to someone that conveyed interest without sounding pervy? I seriously have no clue what to say. "How's it hanging?"

I can't use the coffee question as I don't drink coffee and there a coffee shop across the street.

I feel like I should never, ever say anything to another guy in the shower. True? I don't want to be reported as a creeper. Hell even smiling seems waaaaay too creepy. Guys who smile at other guys in lockerrooms get punched, no? I just started at the Y and don't want to be labelled a dirty creep.

R2 then by all means - share your wisdom!

Most guys at the gym appreciate when you notice their work. "Great delts -Could you give me a couple of pointers on how to get mine that way?" If you see a guy you like, you might try emulating his workout routine. If you're constantly crossing paths, it will feel natural to strike up a conversation. Avoid conversation in the showers and the sauna/steam room –unless you're alone with him in one of the latter. A typical opener might be a long, contented sigh, followed by, "I sure needed this!" or something like that. Once you've thrown out the ball, it's up to him to return it. If he drops it, let it go. My gym has TVs in the locker room showing sports. That can be a conversation starter. So can complaining about the run-down status of the equipment, lockers, shower facilities, etc. I've been known to say, "Shit. Don't they ever refill the soap dispensers?" in the showers (to myself, of course). That usually gets a reply. So does commenting (to no one in particular) on the disgusting things left behind by other members (old Band-aids, used razors, empty bottles, wet clothes, etc.). Note: don't try to turn the shower comments into a conversation while showering. Just let it be an icebreaker for when you see the guy again around the gym. You've now had a "shared experience" so it won't seem so weird if you talk to him in a different context.

Talking to somebody at the gym is no different than talking to them anywhere else. Why are you under the impression that it is?

You don't need to go to the gym. You need to go to a bathhouse.

Present hole.

Anyone ever been caught or reported doing something naughty in the gym? Did you get banned or were cops called?

A YMCA is not a place to have sex. It is, though, a good place to make friends.

I used to go to the YMCA in London.

There were group activities and that's where I met people and made a few friends, but not lovers.

I never wanted to do anything sexual with anyone in front of other people, so that ruled that out...I'm too nervous. I once asked a guy who pulled his dick out if he wanted to go somewhere, but he didn't. He said "people are friendly" - which is apparently some gay password for "It's OK here". Well, it's not ok with me, hon.

Not long ago I was cruised on a tube train in London and missed the opportunity. I asked about this on here, actually, when I got home and got some [bold]very helpful direct advice.[/bold]

Annoyingly I can't remember what I was told. I THINK someone said you say something like "I think I know you, I'm Tony, what's your name?" Something like that...or maybe without the names thing.

[quote]I can't use the coffee question as I don't drink coffee

Then tea or an ice-cream soda....or Root Beer Float.

Lick your lips and murmur “Momma likes.”

R5 - great suggestions! I actually did have a soap dispenser with no soap in it and almost muttered to myself in the shower...

It's just difficult to know what approach is considered aggressive or crossing the line and what would be Beauty as non-threatening and casual. Clearly r13 's idea is aggressive and flat-out disgusting LOL.

There was this incredibly cute Arab guy with a perfect body and perfect body hair showering openly, so I went into the shower section too, but took a shower head on the opposite side of the room from him. We stole a few glances of each other.

Then this old guy from the sauna comes in, and takes a shower head right next to his and starts leering. I was so frustrated because it was clear that was going to make the guy uncomfortable, and sure enough two minutes later the Arab dude left the area. If everyone knows it's too awkward to take the very next to urinal, why would it be any less awkward to take the very next shower head when you're standing completely naked with a stranger?

R6 I've never seen someone naked before I've had the chance to actually speak to them. In the locker room and in the shower and in at the sauna, I'm seeing these cool guys completely naked and then asking myself how the hell I can make it normal to talk to them. Normally you talk and then hope to see them naked at some point later...

I guess for those of you who have gone to the gym for years and been naked around strangers and made casual conversation, it's no big deal.

I haven't tried talking to anybody yet, but I imagine if I do try and they don't want to talk back, it's probably because they don't like my body and that's a weird thought. At least when you're dressed in the outside world it's not like someone can immediately write you off based on how your butt looks because they can't really see it...you know?

Any potential hookup from the gym will get a full view of what you look like before making any moves. I don't think I'm ugly by any means, but it's still a weird reality.

Not that I'm not enjoying the view of course :) But it does make me feel a bit superficial to only be judging people on their physical attributes when I know full well the hottest guy in the room can be the biggest dolt.

*what would be viewed as non-threatening and casual.

People don’t want to be bothered at the gym. They want to get in, get out, and get on with their lives. They’re not in a good mood and they’re not there to chat with strangers and make friends.

Try making friends elsewhere.

Alright, here goes. Do exactly the same things you would do at a bar, party, charity event, etc. make some small talk, the weather, news, tell him you noticed how much work he was putting in on the floor. Avoid too much conversation in the showers unless the conversation is naturally flowing between you. The fact that you are both naked isn't really an issue. You are in a locker room.

The guy in the sauna wanted you. While you were showering you should have given him more direct looks, not stares, but longer glances. When leaving the showers, you should have asked him if he wanted to go get a drink, coffee (you can have water) or whatever. If the coast was clear you could have asked if he wanted to pop back into the sauna. Don't disregard how satisfying and hot a gym quickie can be.

Trust your instincts. You know if a guy is interested or not. Don't be too much of a pervy or wallflower.

[quote] Clearly [R13] 's idea is aggressive and flat-out disgusting LOL.

I am not accustomed to such rudeness. Do you want the dick or points for subtlety?

I've hooked up with guys elsewhere (his or my place) after meeting them at the gym. Once a connection was made in the sauna or wherever one of us said something like, "Would you want to get together somewhere else?"

Guys who want to hook up at the gym want just that---a quick, NSA hookup. They're not looking to go to your house, meet for coffee, or anything else. Many of them are probably attached or married. So if you're into it, do it, but don't expect many of them to be open to socializing outside the gym. If you're looking for that, start talking to guys out in the gym while you're lifting weights, not in the showers or the sauna.

R20 very good point.

I was recently in the sauna and these two guys, one black about 30 and the other Spanish looking and about 50 were eyeing me like I was prey. It was really weird because there was always about five other guys in the sauna there with us so I wasn't sure exactly what they wanted to have happen. It's not like we were all free to just start beating each other off! The whole thing made me really uncomfortable. It's one thing to make subtle movements or steal a glance here or there, but at one point these guys were both leaning forward and just staring straight at me. It was impossible to ignore and really overt and gross. Made me never want to go back to that sauna again.

On the other hand, there was this good-looking blonde guy who used the pool the same time I did, and later he tried to say a friendly hello as we waited for the water fountain. That was much more normal and comfortable for me.

Dear OP (and others): just because men at the gym are attractive and sexually exciting to you does not mean that they are interested and sexually available to you.

The YMCA is not a sex club. It's a gym where men pay dues to go work out. Some branches may turn a blind eye to sexual activity on the premises, but rest assured, it's a violation of their health codes and bylaws. And many branches will not hesitate to cancel or suspend your membership if you persist.

I went to a gym and everyone looked nice and friendly. One guy looked at me for a long time. He winked. Another guy look RIGHT AT MY PENIS!!!!! I froze! It was really weird.

No one likes that timid nelly chihuahua-twink creeping around the gym.

Ask John Travolta

R22 are you speaking from experience, as a former member twice over who got the boot?

OP, it’s just like hooking up on the bus!

Wear waterproof Prada sneakers and carry Tina.

OP, you’re not hit on overtly? I can remember five guys shaking their penis at me in my gym’s shared shower over the years (four of them large-to-huge, one not so much).

In my case, my gym is also my place of employment so no interest on my part, but... you’re not hit on overtly?

Nope that def hasn't happened yet! The most I've seen is some fluffing in the group shower and glances to see if I'm watching him fluffing. There was one guy in the steam room who got hard with me directly in front of him. Kept adjusting it, but it kept getting hard again LOL

But really - if you're both in a group shower and they're shaking their dick at you....what do they want you to do? Touch it? HJ? Blow them?

Seems the best bet would be to leave together and then fool around but they're probably chasing the thrill of public play....

What does waving your dick at someone mean?

They await your mating signals

If you sing “smokin in the boy’s room” and their dicks keep pace with your rhythm, then you’ll blow them in a stall while wearing a big hair wig.

If you sing “don’t it make your brown eye blue” and wangs are slapping your ads in time, it means you’re getting spit roasted now.

Wonderful memories of the New York Ys.....especially the steamrooms.

Those were the days👹

First, use fewer words. Give it time Find out if he married If you walk out together does he avoid you or linger once you exit the building?

Enjoy the show in the shower and locker room for a few weeks.

Go out of your way to expose yourself to him

Keep us posted

You do know that YMCA stands for Young Men's Christian Association, right? Your local chapter may be gay friendly but I'm guessing they wouldn't appreciate their facilities being used as a tearoom.

1. Lift caftan.

2. Present hole.

How difficult is that, OP? This is DL 101.

....that caftan line never gets old....

Get a new reply FFS.

36 responses and no one has posted this??