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Let's be workplace jargon

Moving forward

Let's circle back!

Moving the needle!

by Anonymousreply 205August 14, 2020 12:31 AM

Disrupt, pivot, then disrupt again.

by Anonymousreply 1December 17, 2019 9:33 PM

Let’s take a deep dive.

by Anonymousreply 2December 17, 2019 9:34 PM

R1 Disrupting never actually means disrupting shit either!

by Anonymousreply 3December 17, 2019 9:36 PM

"Let's reach out."

No, let's CONTACT.

God, I hate "reach out."

by Anonymousreply 4December 17, 2019 9:36 PM

Brainstorm

by Anonymousreply 5December 17, 2019 9:39 PM

Let’s unpack these together, hnnn-kay?

by Anonymousreply 6December 17, 2019 9:40 PM

Why don't we circle back...

by Anonymousreply 7December 17, 2019 9:41 PM

There’s a lot of moving parts and pieces, can you Minto this for the C-Suite?

by Anonymousreply 8December 17, 2019 9:42 PM

Looking for someone who care wear many hats

by Anonymousreply 9December 17, 2019 9:43 PM

I'm going to socialize this with the team.

I've been engaging with their content.

Looking for a rock star coordinator/assistant/account executive

Can someone please schedule a regroup?

by Anonymousreply 10December 17, 2019 9:46 PM

Let’s touch base ASAP.

by Anonymousreply 11December 17, 2019 9:48 PM

"Team" and "team player."

by Anonymousreply 12December 17, 2019 9:52 PM

Low hanging fruit

by Anonymousreply 13December 17, 2019 9:53 PM

Going forward.

It is what it is.

Unpack that a little more for me

What would that look like, in practice?

Least restrictive practice

Positive approach to risk taking

by Anonymousreply 14December 17, 2019 9:55 PM

Take the lead

EOD, COB

Doodle poll

by Anonymousreply 15December 17, 2019 9:57 PM

That’s what she said.

by Anonymousreply 16December 17, 2019 10:03 PM

“Thought leader” was grating enough but now “thought-lead” as a verb being used more and more, as in...

I’ve aggregated the ideas from Monday’s solveathon and I feel I may have thought-led us to a potential viability. If everyone is open, I’ll share that now.

by Anonymousreply 17December 17, 2019 10:05 PM

I'll shoot ya an e-mail!

by Anonymousreply 18December 17, 2019 10:06 PM

I'm always tempted to say "could you repeat that in English?" when workplace jargon is used in a meeting.

by Anonymousreply 19December 17, 2019 10:07 PM

Give me the 30,000 foot view so I can hit the ground running. Tx.

by Anonymousreply 20December 17, 2019 10:08 PM

PITA, prince/princess, pbab

by Anonymousreply 21December 17, 2019 10:09 PM

Let’s start by acknowledging a win.

by Anonymousreply 22December 17, 2019 10:12 PM

I'm agnostic towards it Urghhhh!

by Anonymousreply 23December 17, 2019 10:16 PM

Let ‘s think outside the box.

(So many people have never learned to think INside the box.)

by Anonymousreply 24December 17, 2019 10:19 PM

The event is a team building exercise.

by Anonymousreply 25December 17, 2019 10:21 PM

"Pump your brakes" seems to be getting some traction at my office...

I can't believe nobody has said "think outside the box."

by Anonymousreply 26December 17, 2019 10:21 PM

We need to monetize that. (Or leverage it.) Both are horrible.

by Anonymousreply 27December 17, 2019 10:21 PM

I used to get twitchy ‘down there‘ with these phrases:

Hit the nail on the head

Run this up the flagpole

Deep dive and drill down

Bottom line

by Anonymousreply 28December 17, 2019 10:23 PM

Best practices

by Anonymousreply 29December 17, 2019 10:26 PM

"ping me later so we can take this offline"

"value oriented"

"Let's do a Gemba walk / what is the standard work (LEAN methodology, barf)

by Anonymousreply 30December 17, 2019 10:28 PM

We’re following the metrics on that.

by Anonymousreply 31December 17, 2019 10:28 PM

"at the end of the day"

"let's put a pin in that"

by Anonymousreply 32December 17, 2019 10:30 PM

you never want to hear "but" or "however"

by Anonymousreply 33December 17, 2019 10:38 PM

$20 max Secret Santa

by Anonymousreply 34December 17, 2019 10:38 PM

Let's take a look at this, holistically speaking

And what's the cadence for this?

by Anonymousreply 35December 17, 2019 10:40 PM

"I don't have the bandwidth to take on another client or project."

by Anonymousreply 36December 17, 2019 10:41 PM

Worse than the sayings are douche bags who say and truly believe in them.

by Anonymousreply 37December 17, 2019 10:42 PM

Internal customers

by Anonymousreply 38December 17, 2019 11:40 PM

Management is not on board.

by Anonymousreply 39December 17, 2019 11:45 PM

You have to trust the process.

by Anonymousreply 40December 17, 2019 11:47 PM

"Paradigm," which is often used by people who have no idea what the definition of "paradigm" actually is.

by Anonymousreply 41December 17, 2019 11:50 PM

Let’s take it offline.

by Anonymousreply 42December 17, 2019 11:53 PM

Lets open the trench coat and show em the goods.

by Anonymousreply 43December 17, 2019 11:54 PM

In my workplace we serve hard drinks for men who wanna get drunk fast.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 44December 17, 2019 11:56 PM

“I need to pick your brain.”

Commonly said by a senior manager who is up against a deadline and who doesn’t know which way is up.

by Anonymousreply 45December 17, 2019 11:57 PM

“You’re a rockstar”

Until you’re not. Then you have to “up your game.”

by Anonymousreply 46December 18, 2019 12:01 AM

"Our Mission Statement"

The answer is always, "Make money and keep the stockholders off our back"

by Anonymousreply 47December 18, 2019 12:02 AM

Despite the negative press covfefe.

by Anonymousreply 48December 18, 2019 12:05 AM

That’s not in my wheelhouse.

by Anonymousreply 49December 18, 2019 12:07 AM

Thats above my pay grade.

by Anonymousreply 50December 18, 2019 12:09 AM

Having only worked professionally as a teacher, all I’ve got is:

-Do more with less.

-“How can we make this project/test/quiz more student-centered?”

-“Can you tutor during your lunch?”

-“Test scores are low”

-“The data indicates” (always a statistically insignificant study)

-What? Oh, you need me to cover another class during my conference period? What? Oh, I won’t be paid for it? Gotcha.

by Anonymousreply 51December 18, 2019 12:12 AM

“Reach out” = so fucking annoying

by Anonymousreply 52December 18, 2019 12:14 AM

It’s a one-off

by Anonymousreply 53December 18, 2019 12:16 AM

It’s good to put a face to the name.

by Anonymousreply 54December 18, 2019 12:17 AM

Nobody: Everybody: gif gif gif *dead*

by Anonymousreply 55December 18, 2019 12:18 AM

I’m writing all of you up!

by Anonymousreply 56December 18, 2019 12:20 AM

Quite big tits.

by Anonymousreply 57December 18, 2019 12:21 AM

We’re onboarding the new CVO* after the holidays. Far from being a BBEG, rumor has it he’s planning to mainframe our group!

*Chief Vision Officer, for those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the position

by Anonymousreply 58December 18, 2019 12:21 AM

I need to get my ducks in a row.

by Anonymousreply 59December 18, 2019 12:21 AM

I hear what you’re saying.

by Anonymousreply 60December 18, 2019 12:24 AM

Stakeholders, not to be confused with ...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 61December 18, 2019 12:27 AM

“My plate is full”.

“Failure is not an option”.

“Crunch the numbers”.

by Anonymousreply 62December 18, 2019 12:30 AM

[quote]Then you have to “up your game.”

That's when you "bring your A game."

Of course, you can always put the issue in the parking lot and circle back around when you have more bandwidth.

by Anonymousreply 63December 18, 2019 12:33 AM

R51, I've lost count of the number of times I've heard, "We're all going to have to do more with less."

by Anonymousreply 64December 18, 2019 12:58 AM

Anyone who can't understand why I don't want a professional life needs to read this thread.

by Anonymousreply 65December 18, 2019 12:59 AM

"I see what you're saying, but my hands are tied on this."

by Anonymousreply 66December 18, 2019 1:00 AM

We've done a market analysis and we'll be making some adjustments to your total compensation package.

by Anonymousreply 67December 18, 2019 1:20 AM

Team. Challenge. Embrace.

by Anonymousreply 68December 18, 2019 1:25 AM

R32, I hope I never, EVER encounter someone who says “let’s put a pin in that.”

It’s even worse than being told to break down a complex concept to make it “snackable.”

by Anonymousreply 69December 18, 2019 1:27 AM

All of our work here is guided by an understanding of our core values.

by Anonymousreply 70December 18, 2019 1:27 AM

Is your elevator speech prepared?

by Anonymousreply 71December 18, 2019 1:29 AM

It's a "sea change," y'all...

by Anonymousreply 72December 18, 2019 1:31 AM

Ginny is now pursuing other opportunities.

by Anonymousreply 73December 18, 2019 1:33 AM

Execution roadmap

by Anonymousreply 74December 18, 2019 1:35 AM

Ginny has gone up to the great cubicle in the sky R73

by Anonymousreply 75December 18, 2019 1:37 AM

Autonomy.

by Anonymousreply 76December 18, 2019 1:40 AM

We're going to go in a different direction.

(You are not hired.)

by Anonymousreply 77December 18, 2019 1:56 AM

If we call them delegates instead of customers we can charge more money.

by Anonymousreply 78December 18, 2019 2:01 AM

Action Required....Kind Regards.

by Anonymousreply 79December 18, 2019 2:03 AM

Let's celebrate our successes!

by Anonymousreply 80December 18, 2019 2:03 AM

R80 Or a pizza party! You’ll each get a slice of Little Caesar’s shit on a shingle.

by Anonymousreply 81December 18, 2019 2:04 AM

programmatic

by Anonymousreply 82December 18, 2019 2:04 AM

Please find enclosed herewith...verily verily I saw unto thee.....

by Anonymousreply 83December 18, 2019 2:05 AM

onboarding

by Anonymousreply 84December 18, 2019 2:07 AM

Of course, I wouldn't say your performance is poor, but I think you have some opportunities for growth

by Anonymousreply 85December 18, 2019 2:10 AM

Best regards,

Mr./ Ms. Shithead

by Anonymousreply 86December 18, 2019 2:10 AM

Let's hit the ground running.

by Anonymousreply 87December 18, 2019 2:48 AM

We really do need to disband corporations and eat the rich and SJWs so people don’t have to talk like this anymore. I was in upper management at a Fortune 500 company and I can tell you that behind closed doors VPs etc are NOT saying this bullshit. Literally like “Well, Karen is a fucking cunt and we need to let her go.” “Tom fucked Susie after the Christmas party, she’s a fucking whore!” and lots of gossiping about personal lives of lower employees.

by Anonymousreply 88December 18, 2019 2:49 AM

“While we’ll have scheduled bio-breaks during today’s meeting, feel free to take movement as needed”.

This is when I get a coffee to wash down my Xanax.

by Anonymousreply 89December 18, 2019 2:57 AM

Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.

by Anonymousreply 90December 18, 2019 3:05 AM

Drill down to a granular level Bounce in to this report Begin to think about... As soon as practicable Manage through exception reporting QA of QA

by Anonymousreply 91December 18, 2019 3:10 AM

Please advise

by Anonymousreply 92December 18, 2019 3:13 AM

"We are locked and loaded."

by Anonymousreply 93December 18, 2019 3:41 AM

There is no I in team.

(True, but there are three Yous in shut the fuck up.)

by Anonymousreply 94December 18, 2019 4:51 AM

“It’s the (insert company name here) way!”

by Anonymousreply 95December 18, 2019 5:12 AM

"I don't have a dog in this fight." "Best practices" "Trauma-informed care"

by Anonymousreply 96December 18, 2019 5:16 AM

R64, which you will accomplish by working smarter, not harder.

by Anonymousreply 97December 18, 2019 6:22 AM

R85, you mean I have some challenges along with my strengths?

by Anonymousreply 98December 18, 2019 6:22 AM

Impact and output are not verbs.

by Anonymousreply 99December 18, 2019 6:38 AM

Granular (shudder)

Reminds me of a particularly nasty skin complaint.

by Anonymousreply 100December 18, 2019 6:39 AM

don't get ahead of your skies on this

by Anonymousreply 101December 18, 2019 6:55 AM

R93 That’s real smart lingo to use at work in today’s gun crazy world.

by Anonymousreply 102December 18, 2019 7:05 AM

"Bleeding edge," because some things are just too extreme to be cutting edge.

by Anonymousreply 103December 18, 2019 7:23 AM

Continuous Delivery Pipeline

by Anonymousreply 104December 18, 2019 7:25 AM

I need the flib-flab in order to discombobulate the jim-jam device.

by Anonymousreply 105December 18, 2019 7:27 AM

shepherd

ideation

active listening

by Anonymousreply 106December 18, 2019 7:31 AM

“Stand there till I squirt into this ficus pot.”

by Anonymousreply 107December 18, 2019 8:08 AM

"We're using mature tools". As in our program may be buggy as fuck, but it's been around forever.

by Anonymousreply 108December 18, 2019 8:19 AM

At gay porn studios prior to 2015:

“All models must use condoms and submit to monthly drug and STD tests.”

After 2015:

“Our viewers have demanded more content that documents live STD transmission. Condoms are prohibited and we encourage the use of bath salts.”

by Anonymousreply 109December 18, 2019 8:27 AM

This is not a democracy.

by Anonymousreply 110December 18, 2019 8:35 AM

R110 The president of my org says that in meetings a lot. Everyone hates him.

by Anonymousreply 111December 18, 2019 8:40 AM

Reading all this makes me laugh as I work in a small, downsized office (less than 10 people in a firm in bankruptcy), and nobody uses that anymore. But after reading these, other than this stretching out another 10 years until I am old enough to retire, my only thought of what my workplace jargon will be in a year from now, "God, I wish I was old enough to retire."

by Anonymousreply 112December 18, 2019 12:18 PM

Going ATM will cost extra

by Anonymousreply 113December 18, 2019 12:31 PM

Would you like fries with that?

by Anonymousreply 114December 18, 2019 12:42 PM

There's no need to boil the ocean.

by Anonymousreply 115December 18, 2019 12:42 PM

CC me on that

by Anonymousreply 116December 18, 2019 12:44 PM

Al Torres : If you want to last longer than a week, you give me a blow-job. First I get you used to the money, then I make you swallow. Penny/Hope : Is he serious?

by Anonymousreply 117December 18, 2019 12:57 PM

OT but today my Boomer boss kissed my cheek and hugged me at the waist for no reason (business is awful, and she was paying a visit to surreptitiously monitor the office). I have AS - diagnosed much to my embarrassment, and no I’m not a bluehaired blogfrau - and so naturally I can’t stand anyone but my bf, my Moms or my dog doing that let alone someone at my work. We don’t work in the same dept., we aren’t close and we aren’t on the same status level. We don’t even like each other.

In shock and kneejerk politeness I did accept it awkwardly and with grit teeth, but I have spent the working day feeling gross and off-kilter since. How do I make it clear that no-one is to touch me without asking, especially die Frauen?

by Anonymousreply 118December 18, 2019 1:03 PM

I knew this thread would depress me and it has.

by Anonymousreply 119December 18, 2019 1:25 PM

Where are my TPS reports?

by Anonymousreply 120December 18, 2019 1:30 PM

R118, Get over yourself.

She shouldn't have hugged you but it happens to all of us, and a good half of the general population don't like to be hugged by people they don't know well. You're not special.

It doesn't happen often if you keep your body language conservative, but it happens. But most victims of hugging GROW UP and learn to go on with their work as long as their tits weren't groped or their balls weren't cupped.

by Anonymousreply 121December 18, 2019 1:53 PM

[quote] my Boomer boss kissed my cheek and hugged me at the waist for no reason... I have AS - diagnosed much to my embarrassment.

What the hell is AS? Ankylosing spondylitis?

I thought the thread was about workplace jargon, not medical conditions.

by Anonymousreply 122December 18, 2019 2:18 PM

I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat-up dollar bills... because a lot of workers really like candy.

by Anonymousreply 123December 18, 2019 2:33 PM

We need all "excellents" on the surveys guys. We had too many "Adequates" and it killed us this month. ...we're just not doing enough.

by Anonymousreply 124December 18, 2019 2:51 PM

We need all "excellents" on the surveys guys... We had too many "adequates" and it killed us this month. I want to hear from each and every one of you on how we can improve our strategy, moving forward.

by Anonymousreply 125December 18, 2019 2:55 PM

We've definitely had some key learnings here.

by Anonymousreply 126December 18, 2019 2:59 PM

We need to move the needle.

by Anonymousreply 127December 18, 2019 3:00 PM

Circling back to the latest metrics, I'm afraid there's a bit too much blue-sky thinking. Let's say we take this offline for a while so we can pick our brains and come up with some initiatives that are more proactive.

by Anonymousreply 128December 18, 2019 3:03 PM

"I'm looping in"

by Anonymousreply 129December 18, 2019 4:40 PM

What are the key take aways?

by Anonymousreply 130December 18, 2019 5:07 PM

Core Competency Skills

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 131December 18, 2019 5:37 PM

Quite big tits.

by Anonymousreply 132December 18, 2019 5:37 PM

[quote]We're going to go in a different direction. (You are not hired.)

That’s OK - I’m going in a different direction too (Since you’ve wasted my time, I’m never interviewing with your shitty organization again, fuckers!).

by Anonymousreply 133December 18, 2019 5:46 PM

[quote]What are the key take aways?

That I realize this company sucks and I need to find a new place to work.

by Anonymousreply 134December 18, 2019 5:47 PM

Next Steps

by Anonymousreply 135December 18, 2019 6:39 PM

I'm right on top of that, Rose!

by Anonymousreply 136December 18, 2019 8:56 PM

You let Cathy do the QED report?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 137December 18, 2019 11:42 PM

Your business unit isn’t executing on the process. The key measures show no development in meeting expectations on deliverables. We need to action plan your opportunities and collaborate with field leadership. My boss actually said something very similar to this today. I’m one year away from early retirement and about to walk away with all the bench strength that my boss doesn’t realize he will need. He’s about to fail.

by Anonymousreply 138December 19, 2019 1:34 AM

Pussy

Roles

Lead lading

My cock

Pre-Cum

by Anonymousreply 139December 19, 2019 1:45 AM

On a gay porn set:

Fuck yeah! Fuck! Yeah! Fuck yeah!

by Anonymousreply 140December 19, 2019 6:51 AM

A fresh set of eyes.

by Anonymousreply 141December 19, 2019 2:52 PM

Does anyone need a bio break?

by Anonymousreply 142December 19, 2019 3:10 PM

Construct those iPhones faster or no blanket and rice for you at 2300hrs!

by Anonymousreply 143December 19, 2019 5:40 PM

recharge room

quiet room

zen space

meditation pod

social and relaxation space

mindfulness room

wellness room

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 144December 20, 2019 2:13 AM

Happy Monday!!

by Anonymousreply 145December 20, 2019 2:37 AM

I understand you’re giving them a foundation, but how is that going to be realized into performance behavior?

by Anonymousreply 146December 20, 2019 3:24 AM

“Let’s not reinvent the wheel”

by Anonymousreply 147December 20, 2019 3:42 AM

We’re going to do “strategic planning“ at the Monday meeting.

by Anonymousreply 148December 20, 2019 7:49 AM

R144 ah, the wellness room.....Our company instituted a “wellness room”. A coworker (who is diabetic) wasn’t feeling well, so he went to the wellness room to lie down for a while.

A few minutes later, some knocked up frau burst in and starts to berate him because the wellness room is ONLY for pregnant or lactating women. He apologized and left (even though the company never stated that was the only use of the wellness room). Pregnant frau elevated it to management, who then sent around an email with a bunch of rules about having to sign in to use the wellness room, you can’t just go in there, etc. Interestingly enough, the company didn’t outright say it’s only for the breeders....but the way they reacted made it seem like they were afraid of getting sued.

by Anonymousreply 149December 20, 2019 10:52 AM

Thank you for your leadership.

by Anonymousreply 150December 20, 2019 11:07 AM

Q/A Q/C

by Anonymousreply 151December 20, 2019 11:17 AM

Let's get our ducks in a row.

by Anonymousreply 152December 20, 2019 11:17 AM

synergistic benefits

by Anonymousreply 153December 20, 2019 6:19 PM

R149 How pathetic. This is one more reason why to not want to work with fraus. They run to HR for EVERYTHING.

by Anonymousreply 154December 20, 2019 6:44 PM

Director of Talent Acquisition

by Anonymousreply 155December 20, 2019 10:37 PM

I'm the Chief People Officer!

by Anonymousreply 156December 20, 2019 10:48 PM

Do we have the bandwidth for this project?

by Anonymousreply 157December 21, 2019 12:37 AM

Let's skype it out.

by Anonymousreply 158December 21, 2019 1:26 AM

Kiss up, shit down

by Anonymousreply 159December 21, 2019 1:28 AM

Boots on the ground

by Anonymousreply 160December 21, 2019 1:30 AM

Operationalize this content.

by Anonymousreply 161December 21, 2019 9:42 PM

"You have that layer turned off."

by Anonymousreply 162December 21, 2019 10:39 PM

Subject Matter Expert.

by Anonymousreply 163December 22, 2019 12:50 AM

Skill set.

by Anonymousreply 164December 22, 2019 3:14 AM

Writ large.

by Anonymousreply 165December 22, 2019 3:40 AM

Reduction in force (RIF), down-sized, streamlined, terminated, let go, early retirement.

by Anonymousreply 166December 22, 2019 4:31 AM

Product evangelist

by Anonymousreply 167December 22, 2019 4:35 AM

The optics of this are horrible!

by Anonymousreply 168December 22, 2019 4:36 AM

This shit is why I left Marketing. Ground Zero for nonsense business jargon.

by Anonymousreply 169December 22, 2019 4:43 AM

DON'T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS! This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 170December 28, 2019 9:16 PM

I hear people talking on the phone with this nonsense all the time and just shake my head due to a mixture of pity and disgust.

But I mostly feel bad for the person on the other end.

by Anonymousreply 171December 29, 2019 2:42 AM

Burning the midnight oil

by Anonymousreply 172December 29, 2019 3:37 AM

People who make up "C-suite" level titles for themselves, like "Chief Visionary Officer" - what the fuck does that even mean?

anything regarding "Agile methodology" or "six sigma".

People with vague descriptions of their job titles on Linkedin. Instead of something like "Director of Business Development", they will list their job title as something like "Digital Innovator Driving Consumer Growth".

by Anonymousreply 173December 29, 2019 8:56 AM

[quote] "Digital Innovator Driving Consumer Growth".

I imagine something like that to mean that they work the drive-thru at some place like Der Wienerschnitzel and have become quite adept at entering orders on a digital touch screen, while working to increase sales by reminding every consumer that they're running a limited time offer on chili cheese fries, which can be added to the order for only 99 cents.

by Anonymousreply 174December 29, 2019 8:53 PM

You’ve got to start meeting the metrics.

by Anonymousreply 175December 29, 2019 10:32 PM

Tell me about your personal brand.

Social responsibility (now I can see why my family is Republican).

by Anonymousreply 176December 30, 2019 1:24 AM

My boss when needs to fully think about or consider something will say "I need to chew on that" ughh it makes my skin crawl every time.

by Anonymousreply 177February 24, 2020 5:03 AM

"Time for scrum."

"What?"

"We have scrum in five minutes."

"Outside?"

"No we have it in the meeting room."

"So we have a meeting in five minutes?"

"No, scrum."

"Whatever."

by Anonymousreply 178February 24, 2020 12:14 PM

Canceled.

by Anonymousreply 179February 25, 2020 1:18 AM

"Growth hacking" (tech) and "business development" (which is so ubiquitous it's been shortened to "BD") are both replacements for "sales" which is 100% what the people who have those jobs actually do.

by Anonymousreply 180February 25, 2020 1:23 AM

For whatever reason, “transparent” is the latest ridiculous word that keeps getting used at my workplace.

by Anonymousreply 181June 13, 2020 6:41 PM

You're in the weeds again, let's pull back and look at this top down.

by Anonymousreply 182June 13, 2020 6:58 PM

Revise & Revert (or R&R when you're so important that you can't take the time to spell it)

by Anonymousreply 183June 13, 2020 7:01 PM

^^ REVIEW and Revert FFS

by Anonymousreply 184June 13, 2020 7:02 PM

[quote]Do we have the bandwidth for this project?

Ugh, hate that one. I dunno, let me ask my laptop.

by Anonymousreply 185June 13, 2020 8:15 PM

How can we help you be successful? (Alt. Will fire your ass if you don’t do this)

What KPI will this address?

My! we are sitting in the catbird seat!

Hmmm does this align with our mission or vision? (Alt. “What if I don’t feel like it? Who’s gonna make me?!”

by Anonymousreply 186June 13, 2020 9:22 PM

My boss and I have a Skype meeting with a client tomorrow and my boss is asking me to help manage the time for each topic in the agenda in order to “avoid the dreaded Rat or Squirrel”.

What the fuck is he talking about?? I have Googled and asked around but can’t find zip! 😦

by Anonymousreply 187August 10, 2020 10:36 PM

Create a space.

by Anonymousreply 188August 10, 2020 10:53 PM

Let's get on the same page.

by Anonymousreply 189August 10, 2020 10:55 PM

Within a large organizational announcement distributed to all employees via email, a bunch of people are having their roles changed, and someone is always "leaving to spend more time with family" or "has decided to leave to explore a different career path" or similar bullshit. Translation, someone got fired.

by Anonymousreply 190August 10, 2020 10:57 PM

"Six-Sigma" is so yesterday. Today everything is "Agile".

by Anonymousreply 191August 10, 2020 11:03 PM

Is this idea scalable?

by Anonymousreply 192August 10, 2020 11:04 PM

I hate corporate America. I try hard not to use those words.

by Anonymousreply 193August 10, 2020 11:06 PM

Some of you sound like you have not worked since the 1990s. You would be amazed at all the bright pretty colors on the computer screens now (it's no longer green letters on a black background).

by Anonymousreply 194August 10, 2020 11:06 PM

Atta girl.

by Anonymousreply 195August 10, 2020 11:18 PM

We need to hit the ground running!

by Anonymousreply 196August 10, 2020 11:22 PM

"It's a learning curve." (No specifications on whether the curve is steep, flat, etc.)

by Anonymousreply 197August 10, 2020 11:23 PM

Let's revisit and reframe and repurpose for new solutioning.

by Anonymousreply 198August 10, 2020 11:50 PM

Speak up and enunciate clearly, bitch. You're wearing a fucking mask.

by Anonymousreply 199August 11, 2020 12:26 AM

Terminated for not being a team player.

by Anonymousreply 200August 11, 2020 2:13 AM

Table this motion

by Anonymousreply 201August 11, 2020 2:15 AM

Motion this table

by Anonymousreply 202August 11, 2020 2:15 AM

Partner with a team member.

by Anonymousreply 203August 11, 2020 3:05 AM

Shut the door and get on your knees.

by Anonymousreply 204August 11, 2020 3:38 AM

R190, in the same email, it’s likely that someone’s duties are changing – i.e. shrinking – to “allow them to focus more closely on” something or other. Translation: They’ve been demoted, usually with the expectation that they’ll find another job to spare everyone the embarrassment of being fired/firing yet another VP.

by Anonymousreply 205August 14, 2020 12:31 AM
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