Moving forward
Let's circle back!
Moving the needle!
Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.
Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.
Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.
Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.
Moving forward
Let's circle back!
Moving the needle!
by Anonymous | reply 205 | August 14, 2020 12:31 AM |
Disrupt, pivot, then disrupt again.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | December 17, 2019 9:33 PM |
Let’s take a deep dive.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | December 17, 2019 9:34 PM |
R1 Disrupting never actually means disrupting shit either!
by Anonymous | reply 3 | December 17, 2019 9:36 PM |
"Let's reach out."
No, let's CONTACT.
God, I hate "reach out."
by Anonymous | reply 4 | December 17, 2019 9:36 PM |
Brainstorm
by Anonymous | reply 5 | December 17, 2019 9:39 PM |
Let’s unpack these together, hnnn-kay?
by Anonymous | reply 6 | December 17, 2019 9:40 PM |
Why don't we circle back...
by Anonymous | reply 7 | December 17, 2019 9:41 PM |
There’s a lot of moving parts and pieces, can you Minto this for the C-Suite?
by Anonymous | reply 8 | December 17, 2019 9:42 PM |
Looking for someone who care wear many hats
by Anonymous | reply 9 | December 17, 2019 9:43 PM |
I'm going to socialize this with the team.
I've been engaging with their content.
Looking for a rock star coordinator/assistant/account executive
Can someone please schedule a regroup?
by Anonymous | reply 10 | December 17, 2019 9:46 PM |
Let’s touch base ASAP.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | December 17, 2019 9:48 PM |
"Team" and "team player."
by Anonymous | reply 12 | December 17, 2019 9:52 PM |
Low hanging fruit
by Anonymous | reply 13 | December 17, 2019 9:53 PM |
Going forward.
It is what it is.
Unpack that a little more for me
What would that look like, in practice?
Least restrictive practice
Positive approach to risk taking
by Anonymous | reply 14 | December 17, 2019 9:55 PM |
Take the lead
EOD, COB
Doodle poll
by Anonymous | reply 15 | December 17, 2019 9:57 PM |
That’s what she said.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | December 17, 2019 10:03 PM |
“Thought leader” was grating enough but now “thought-lead” as a verb being used more and more, as in...
I’ve aggregated the ideas from Monday’s solveathon and I feel I may have thought-led us to a potential viability. If everyone is open, I’ll share that now.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | December 17, 2019 10:05 PM |
I'll shoot ya an e-mail!
by Anonymous | reply 18 | December 17, 2019 10:06 PM |
I'm always tempted to say "could you repeat that in English?" when workplace jargon is used in a meeting.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | December 17, 2019 10:07 PM |
Give me the 30,000 foot view so I can hit the ground running. Tx.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | December 17, 2019 10:08 PM |
PITA, prince/princess, pbab
by Anonymous | reply 21 | December 17, 2019 10:09 PM |
Let’s start by acknowledging a win.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | December 17, 2019 10:12 PM |
I'm agnostic towards it Urghhhh!
by Anonymous | reply 23 | December 17, 2019 10:16 PM |
Let ‘s think outside the box.
(So many people have never learned to think INside the box.)
by Anonymous | reply 24 | December 17, 2019 10:19 PM |
The event is a team building exercise.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | December 17, 2019 10:21 PM |
"Pump your brakes" seems to be getting some traction at my office...
I can't believe nobody has said "think outside the box."
by Anonymous | reply 26 | December 17, 2019 10:21 PM |
We need to monetize that. (Or leverage it.) Both are horrible.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | December 17, 2019 10:21 PM |
I used to get twitchy ‘down there‘ with these phrases:
Hit the nail on the head
Run this up the flagpole
Deep dive and drill down
Bottom line
by Anonymous | reply 28 | December 17, 2019 10:23 PM |
Best practices
by Anonymous | reply 29 | December 17, 2019 10:26 PM |
"ping me later so we can take this offline"
"value oriented"
"Let's do a Gemba walk / what is the standard work (LEAN methodology, barf)
by Anonymous | reply 30 | December 17, 2019 10:28 PM |
We’re following the metrics on that.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | December 17, 2019 10:28 PM |
"at the end of the day"
"let's put a pin in that"
by Anonymous | reply 32 | December 17, 2019 10:30 PM |
you never want to hear "but" or "however"
by Anonymous | reply 33 | December 17, 2019 10:38 PM |
$20 max Secret Santa
by Anonymous | reply 34 | December 17, 2019 10:38 PM |
Let's take a look at this, holistically speaking
And what's the cadence for this?
by Anonymous | reply 35 | December 17, 2019 10:40 PM |
"I don't have the bandwidth to take on another client or project."
by Anonymous | reply 36 | December 17, 2019 10:41 PM |
Worse than the sayings are douche bags who say and truly believe in them.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | December 17, 2019 10:42 PM |
Internal customers
by Anonymous | reply 38 | December 17, 2019 11:40 PM |
Management is not on board.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | December 17, 2019 11:45 PM |
You have to trust the process.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | December 17, 2019 11:47 PM |
"Paradigm," which is often used by people who have no idea what the definition of "paradigm" actually is.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | December 17, 2019 11:50 PM |
Let’s take it offline.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | December 17, 2019 11:53 PM |
Lets open the trench coat and show em the goods.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | December 17, 2019 11:54 PM |
In my workplace we serve hard drinks for men who wanna get drunk fast.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | December 17, 2019 11:56 PM |
“I need to pick your brain.”
Commonly said by a senior manager who is up against a deadline and who doesn’t know which way is up.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | December 17, 2019 11:57 PM |
“You’re a rockstar”
Until you’re not. Then you have to “up your game.”
by Anonymous | reply 46 | December 18, 2019 12:01 AM |
"Our Mission Statement"
The answer is always, "Make money and keep the stockholders off our back"
by Anonymous | reply 47 | December 18, 2019 12:02 AM |
Despite the negative press covfefe.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | December 18, 2019 12:05 AM |
That’s not in my wheelhouse.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | December 18, 2019 12:07 AM |
Thats above my pay grade.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | December 18, 2019 12:09 AM |
Having only worked professionally as a teacher, all I’ve got is:
-Do more with less.
-“How can we make this project/test/quiz more student-centered?”
-“Can you tutor during your lunch?”
-“Test scores are low”
-“The data indicates” (always a statistically insignificant study)
-What? Oh, you need me to cover another class during my conference period? What? Oh, I won’t be paid for it? Gotcha.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | December 18, 2019 12:12 AM |
“Reach out” = so fucking annoying
by Anonymous | reply 52 | December 18, 2019 12:14 AM |
It’s a one-off
by Anonymous | reply 53 | December 18, 2019 12:16 AM |
It’s good to put a face to the name.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | December 18, 2019 12:17 AM |
Nobody: Everybody: gif gif gif *dead*
by Anonymous | reply 55 | December 18, 2019 12:18 AM |
I’m writing all of you up!
by Anonymous | reply 56 | December 18, 2019 12:20 AM |
Quite big tits.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | December 18, 2019 12:21 AM |
We’re onboarding the new CVO* after the holidays. Far from being a BBEG, rumor has it he’s planning to mainframe our group!
*Chief Vision Officer, for those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the position
by Anonymous | reply 58 | December 18, 2019 12:21 AM |
I need to get my ducks in a row.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | December 18, 2019 12:21 AM |
I hear what you’re saying.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | December 18, 2019 12:24 AM |
“My plate is full”.
“Failure is not an option”.
“Crunch the numbers”.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | December 18, 2019 12:30 AM |
[quote]Then you have to “up your game.”
That's when you "bring your A game."
Of course, you can always put the issue in the parking lot and circle back around when you have more bandwidth.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | December 18, 2019 12:33 AM |
R51, I've lost count of the number of times I've heard, "We're all going to have to do more with less."
by Anonymous | reply 64 | December 18, 2019 12:58 AM |
Anyone who can't understand why I don't want a professional life needs to read this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | December 18, 2019 12:59 AM |
"I see what you're saying, but my hands are tied on this."
by Anonymous | reply 66 | December 18, 2019 1:00 AM |
We've done a market analysis and we'll be making some adjustments to your total compensation package.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | December 18, 2019 1:20 AM |
Team. Challenge. Embrace.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | December 18, 2019 1:25 AM |
R32, I hope I never, EVER encounter someone who says “let’s put a pin in that.”
It’s even worse than being told to break down a complex concept to make it “snackable.”
by Anonymous | reply 69 | December 18, 2019 1:27 AM |
All of our work here is guided by an understanding of our core values.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | December 18, 2019 1:27 AM |
Is your elevator speech prepared?
by Anonymous | reply 71 | December 18, 2019 1:29 AM |
It's a "sea change," y'all...
by Anonymous | reply 72 | December 18, 2019 1:31 AM |
Ginny is now pursuing other opportunities.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | December 18, 2019 1:33 AM |
Execution roadmap
by Anonymous | reply 74 | December 18, 2019 1:35 AM |
Ginny has gone up to the great cubicle in the sky R73
by Anonymous | reply 75 | December 18, 2019 1:37 AM |
Autonomy.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | December 18, 2019 1:40 AM |
We're going to go in a different direction.
(You are not hired.)
by Anonymous | reply 77 | December 18, 2019 1:56 AM |
If we call them delegates instead of customers we can charge more money.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | December 18, 2019 2:01 AM |
Action Required....Kind Regards.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | December 18, 2019 2:03 AM |
Let's celebrate our successes!
by Anonymous | reply 80 | December 18, 2019 2:03 AM |
R80 Or a pizza party! You’ll each get a slice of Little Caesar’s shit on a shingle.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | December 18, 2019 2:04 AM |
programmatic
by Anonymous | reply 82 | December 18, 2019 2:04 AM |
Please find enclosed herewith...verily verily I saw unto thee.....
by Anonymous | reply 83 | December 18, 2019 2:05 AM |
onboarding
by Anonymous | reply 84 | December 18, 2019 2:07 AM |
Of course, I wouldn't say your performance is poor, but I think you have some opportunities for growth
by Anonymous | reply 85 | December 18, 2019 2:10 AM |
Best regards,
Mr./ Ms. Shithead
by Anonymous | reply 86 | December 18, 2019 2:10 AM |
Let's hit the ground running.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | December 18, 2019 2:48 AM |
We really do need to disband corporations and eat the rich and SJWs so people don’t have to talk like this anymore. I was in upper management at a Fortune 500 company and I can tell you that behind closed doors VPs etc are NOT saying this bullshit. Literally like “Well, Karen is a fucking cunt and we need to let her go.” “Tom fucked Susie after the Christmas party, she’s a fucking whore!” and lots of gossiping about personal lives of lower employees.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | December 18, 2019 2:49 AM |
“While we’ll have scheduled bio-breaks during today’s meeting, feel free to take movement as needed”.
This is when I get a coffee to wash down my Xanax.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | December 18, 2019 2:57 AM |
Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | December 18, 2019 3:05 AM |
Drill down to a granular level Bounce in to this report Begin to think about... As soon as practicable Manage through exception reporting QA of QA
by Anonymous | reply 91 | December 18, 2019 3:10 AM |
Please advise
by Anonymous | reply 92 | December 18, 2019 3:13 AM |
"We are locked and loaded."
by Anonymous | reply 93 | December 18, 2019 3:41 AM |
There is no I in team.
(True, but there are three Yous in shut the fuck up.)
by Anonymous | reply 94 | December 18, 2019 4:51 AM |
“It’s the (insert company name here) way!”
by Anonymous | reply 95 | December 18, 2019 5:12 AM |
"I don't have a dog in this fight." "Best practices" "Trauma-informed care"
by Anonymous | reply 96 | December 18, 2019 5:16 AM |
R64, which you will accomplish by working smarter, not harder.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | December 18, 2019 6:22 AM |
R85, you mean I have some challenges along with my strengths?
by Anonymous | reply 98 | December 18, 2019 6:22 AM |
Impact and output are not verbs.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | December 18, 2019 6:38 AM |
Granular (shudder)
Reminds me of a particularly nasty skin complaint.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | December 18, 2019 6:39 AM |
don't get ahead of your skies on this
by Anonymous | reply 101 | December 18, 2019 6:55 AM |
R93 That’s real smart lingo to use at work in today’s gun crazy world.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | December 18, 2019 7:05 AM |
"Bleeding edge," because some things are just too extreme to be cutting edge.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | December 18, 2019 7:23 AM |
Continuous Delivery Pipeline
by Anonymous | reply 104 | December 18, 2019 7:25 AM |
I need the flib-flab in order to discombobulate the jim-jam device.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | December 18, 2019 7:27 AM |
shepherd
ideation
active listening
by Anonymous | reply 106 | December 18, 2019 7:31 AM |
“Stand there till I squirt into this ficus pot.”
by Anonymous | reply 107 | December 18, 2019 8:08 AM |
"We're using mature tools". As in our program may be buggy as fuck, but it's been around forever.
by Anonymous | reply 108 | December 18, 2019 8:19 AM |
At gay porn studios prior to 2015:
“All models must use condoms and submit to monthly drug and STD tests.”
After 2015:
“Our viewers have demanded more content that documents live STD transmission. Condoms are prohibited and we encourage the use of bath salts.”
by Anonymous | reply 109 | December 18, 2019 8:27 AM |
This is not a democracy.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | December 18, 2019 8:35 AM |
R110 The president of my org says that in meetings a lot. Everyone hates him.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | December 18, 2019 8:40 AM |
Reading all this makes me laugh as I work in a small, downsized office (less than 10 people in a firm in bankruptcy), and nobody uses that anymore. But after reading these, other than this stretching out another 10 years until I am old enough to retire, my only thought of what my workplace jargon will be in a year from now, "God, I wish I was old enough to retire."
by Anonymous | reply 112 | December 18, 2019 12:18 PM |
Going ATM will cost extra
by Anonymous | reply 113 | December 18, 2019 12:31 PM |
Would you like fries with that?
by Anonymous | reply 114 | December 18, 2019 12:42 PM |
There's no need to boil the ocean.
by Anonymous | reply 115 | December 18, 2019 12:42 PM |
CC me on that
by Anonymous | reply 116 | December 18, 2019 12:44 PM |
Al Torres : If you want to last longer than a week, you give me a blow-job. First I get you used to the money, then I make you swallow. Penny/Hope : Is he serious?
by Anonymous | reply 117 | December 18, 2019 12:57 PM |
OT but today my Boomer boss kissed my cheek and hugged me at the waist for no reason (business is awful, and she was paying a visit to surreptitiously monitor the office). I have AS - diagnosed much to my embarrassment, and no I’m not a bluehaired blogfrau - and so naturally I can’t stand anyone but my bf, my Moms or my dog doing that let alone someone at my work. We don’t work in the same dept., we aren’t close and we aren’t on the same status level. We don’t even like each other.
In shock and kneejerk politeness I did accept it awkwardly and with grit teeth, but I have spent the working day feeling gross and off-kilter since. How do I make it clear that no-one is to touch me without asking, especially die Frauen?
by Anonymous | reply 118 | December 18, 2019 1:03 PM |
I knew this thread would depress me and it has.
by Anonymous | reply 119 | December 18, 2019 1:25 PM |
Where are my TPS reports?
by Anonymous | reply 120 | December 18, 2019 1:30 PM |
R118, Get over yourself.
She shouldn't have hugged you but it happens to all of us, and a good half of the general population don't like to be hugged by people they don't know well. You're not special.
It doesn't happen often if you keep your body language conservative, but it happens. But most victims of hugging GROW UP and learn to go on with their work as long as their tits weren't groped or their balls weren't cupped.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | December 18, 2019 1:53 PM |
[quote] my Boomer boss kissed my cheek and hugged me at the waist for no reason... I have AS - diagnosed much to my embarrassment.
What the hell is AS? Ankylosing spondylitis?
I thought the thread was about workplace jargon, not medical conditions.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | December 18, 2019 2:18 PM |
I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat-up dollar bills... because a lot of workers really like candy.
by Anonymous | reply 123 | December 18, 2019 2:33 PM |
We need all "excellents" on the surveys guys. We had too many "Adequates" and it killed us this month. ...we're just not doing enough.
by Anonymous | reply 124 | December 18, 2019 2:51 PM |
We need all "excellents" on the surveys guys... We had too many "adequates" and it killed us this month. I want to hear from each and every one of you on how we can improve our strategy, moving forward.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | December 18, 2019 2:55 PM |
We've definitely had some key learnings here.
by Anonymous | reply 126 | December 18, 2019 2:59 PM |
We need to move the needle.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | December 18, 2019 3:00 PM |
Circling back to the latest metrics, I'm afraid there's a bit too much blue-sky thinking. Let's say we take this offline for a while so we can pick our brains and come up with some initiatives that are more proactive.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | December 18, 2019 3:03 PM |
"I'm looping in"
by Anonymous | reply 129 | December 18, 2019 4:40 PM |
What are the key take aways?
by Anonymous | reply 130 | December 18, 2019 5:07 PM |
Quite big tits.
by Anonymous | reply 132 | December 18, 2019 5:37 PM |
[quote]We're going to go in a different direction. (You are not hired.)
That’s OK - I’m going in a different direction too (Since you’ve wasted my time, I’m never interviewing with your shitty organization again, fuckers!).
by Anonymous | reply 133 | December 18, 2019 5:46 PM |
[quote]What are the key take aways?
That I realize this company sucks and I need to find a new place to work.
by Anonymous | reply 134 | December 18, 2019 5:47 PM |
Next Steps
by Anonymous | reply 135 | December 18, 2019 6:39 PM |
I'm right on top of that, Rose!
by Anonymous | reply 136 | December 18, 2019 8:56 PM |
Your business unit isn’t executing on the process. The key measures show no development in meeting expectations on deliverables. We need to action plan your opportunities and collaborate with field leadership. My boss actually said something very similar to this today. I’m one year away from early retirement and about to walk away with all the bench strength that my boss doesn’t realize he will need. He’s about to fail.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | December 19, 2019 1:34 AM |
Pussy
Roles
Lead lading
My cock
Pre-Cum
by Anonymous | reply 139 | December 19, 2019 1:45 AM |
On a gay porn set:
Fuck yeah! Fuck! Yeah! Fuck yeah!
by Anonymous | reply 140 | December 19, 2019 6:51 AM |
A fresh set of eyes.
by Anonymous | reply 141 | December 19, 2019 2:52 PM |
Does anyone need a bio break?
by Anonymous | reply 142 | December 19, 2019 3:10 PM |
Construct those iPhones faster or no blanket and rice for you at 2300hrs!
by Anonymous | reply 143 | December 19, 2019 5:40 PM |
recharge room
quiet room
zen space
meditation pod
social and relaxation space
mindfulness room
wellness room
by Anonymous | reply 144 | December 20, 2019 2:13 AM |
Happy Monday!!
by Anonymous | reply 145 | December 20, 2019 2:37 AM |
I understand you’re giving them a foundation, but how is that going to be realized into performance behavior?
by Anonymous | reply 146 | December 20, 2019 3:24 AM |
“Let’s not reinvent the wheel”
by Anonymous | reply 147 | December 20, 2019 3:42 AM |
We’re going to do “strategic planning“ at the Monday meeting.
by Anonymous | reply 148 | December 20, 2019 7:49 AM |
R144 ah, the wellness room.....Our company instituted a “wellness room”. A coworker (who is diabetic) wasn’t feeling well, so he went to the wellness room to lie down for a while.
A few minutes later, some knocked up frau burst in and starts to berate him because the wellness room is ONLY for pregnant or lactating women. He apologized and left (even though the company never stated that was the only use of the wellness room). Pregnant frau elevated it to management, who then sent around an email with a bunch of rules about having to sign in to use the wellness room, you can’t just go in there, etc. Interestingly enough, the company didn’t outright say it’s only for the breeders....but the way they reacted made it seem like they were afraid of getting sued.
by Anonymous | reply 149 | December 20, 2019 10:52 AM |
Thank you for your leadership.
by Anonymous | reply 150 | December 20, 2019 11:07 AM |
Q/A Q/C
by Anonymous | reply 151 | December 20, 2019 11:17 AM |
Let's get our ducks in a row.
by Anonymous | reply 152 | December 20, 2019 11:17 AM |
synergistic benefits
by Anonymous | reply 153 | December 20, 2019 6:19 PM |
R149 How pathetic. This is one more reason why to not want to work with fraus. They run to HR for EVERYTHING.
by Anonymous | reply 154 | December 20, 2019 6:44 PM |
Director of Talent Acquisition
by Anonymous | reply 155 | December 20, 2019 10:37 PM |
I'm the Chief People Officer!
by Anonymous | reply 156 | December 20, 2019 10:48 PM |
Do we have the bandwidth for this project?
by Anonymous | reply 157 | December 21, 2019 12:37 AM |
Let's skype it out.
by Anonymous | reply 158 | December 21, 2019 1:26 AM |
Kiss up, shit down
by Anonymous | reply 159 | December 21, 2019 1:28 AM |
Boots on the ground
by Anonymous | reply 160 | December 21, 2019 1:30 AM |
Operationalize this content.
by Anonymous | reply 161 | December 21, 2019 9:42 PM |
"You have that layer turned off."
by Anonymous | reply 162 | December 21, 2019 10:39 PM |
Subject Matter Expert.
by Anonymous | reply 163 | December 22, 2019 12:50 AM |
Skill set.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | December 22, 2019 3:14 AM |
Writ large.
by Anonymous | reply 165 | December 22, 2019 3:40 AM |
Reduction in force (RIF), down-sized, streamlined, terminated, let go, early retirement.
by Anonymous | reply 166 | December 22, 2019 4:31 AM |
Product evangelist
by Anonymous | reply 167 | December 22, 2019 4:35 AM |
The optics of this are horrible!
by Anonymous | reply 168 | December 22, 2019 4:36 AM |
This shit is why I left Marketing. Ground Zero for nonsense business jargon.
by Anonymous | reply 169 | December 22, 2019 4:43 AM |
DON'T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS! This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
by Anonymous | reply 170 | December 28, 2019 9:16 PM |
I hear people talking on the phone with this nonsense all the time and just shake my head due to a mixture of pity and disgust.
But I mostly feel bad for the person on the other end.
by Anonymous | reply 171 | December 29, 2019 2:42 AM |
Burning the midnight oil
by Anonymous | reply 172 | December 29, 2019 3:37 AM |
People who make up "C-suite" level titles for themselves, like "Chief Visionary Officer" - what the fuck does that even mean?
anything regarding "Agile methodology" or "six sigma".
People with vague descriptions of their job titles on Linkedin. Instead of something like "Director of Business Development", they will list their job title as something like "Digital Innovator Driving Consumer Growth".
by Anonymous | reply 173 | December 29, 2019 8:56 AM |
[quote] "Digital Innovator Driving Consumer Growth".
I imagine something like that to mean that they work the drive-thru at some place like Der Wienerschnitzel and have become quite adept at entering orders on a digital touch screen, while working to increase sales by reminding every consumer that they're running a limited time offer on chili cheese fries, which can be added to the order for only 99 cents.
by Anonymous | reply 174 | December 29, 2019 8:53 PM |
You’ve got to start meeting the metrics.
by Anonymous | reply 175 | December 29, 2019 10:32 PM |
Tell me about your personal brand.
Social responsibility (now I can see why my family is Republican).
by Anonymous | reply 176 | December 30, 2019 1:24 AM |
My boss when needs to fully think about or consider something will say "I need to chew on that" ughh it makes my skin crawl every time.
by Anonymous | reply 177 | February 24, 2020 5:03 AM |
"Time for scrum."
"What?"
"We have scrum in five minutes."
"Outside?"
"No we have it in the meeting room."
"So we have a meeting in five minutes?"
"No, scrum."
"Whatever."
by Anonymous | reply 178 | February 24, 2020 12:14 PM |
Canceled.
by Anonymous | reply 179 | February 25, 2020 1:18 AM |
"Growth hacking" (tech) and "business development" (which is so ubiquitous it's been shortened to "BD") are both replacements for "sales" which is 100% what the people who have those jobs actually do.
by Anonymous | reply 180 | February 25, 2020 1:23 AM |
For whatever reason, “transparent” is the latest ridiculous word that keeps getting used at my workplace.
by Anonymous | reply 181 | June 13, 2020 6:41 PM |
You're in the weeds again, let's pull back and look at this top down.
by Anonymous | reply 182 | June 13, 2020 6:58 PM |
Revise & Revert (or R&R when you're so important that you can't take the time to spell it)
by Anonymous | reply 183 | June 13, 2020 7:01 PM |
^^ REVIEW and Revert FFS
by Anonymous | reply 184 | June 13, 2020 7:02 PM |
[quote]Do we have the bandwidth for this project?
Ugh, hate that one. I dunno, let me ask my laptop.
by Anonymous | reply 185 | June 13, 2020 8:15 PM |
How can we help you be successful? (Alt. Will fire your ass if you don’t do this)
What KPI will this address?
My! we are sitting in the catbird seat!
Hmmm does this align with our mission or vision? (Alt. “What if I don’t feel like it? Who’s gonna make me?!”
by Anonymous | reply 186 | June 13, 2020 9:22 PM |
My boss and I have a Skype meeting with a client tomorrow and my boss is asking me to help manage the time for each topic in the agenda in order to “avoid the dreaded Rat or Squirrel”.
What the fuck is he talking about?? I have Googled and asked around but can’t find zip! 😦
by Anonymous | reply 187 | August 10, 2020 10:36 PM |
Create a space.
by Anonymous | reply 188 | August 10, 2020 10:53 PM |
Let's get on the same page.
by Anonymous | reply 189 | August 10, 2020 10:55 PM |
Within a large organizational announcement distributed to all employees via email, a bunch of people are having their roles changed, and someone is always "leaving to spend more time with family" or "has decided to leave to explore a different career path" or similar bullshit. Translation, someone got fired.
by Anonymous | reply 190 | August 10, 2020 10:57 PM |
"Six-Sigma" is so yesterday. Today everything is "Agile".
by Anonymous | reply 191 | August 10, 2020 11:03 PM |
Is this idea scalable?
by Anonymous | reply 192 | August 10, 2020 11:04 PM |
I hate corporate America. I try hard not to use those words.
by Anonymous | reply 193 | August 10, 2020 11:06 PM |
Some of you sound like you have not worked since the 1990s. You would be amazed at all the bright pretty colors on the computer screens now (it's no longer green letters on a black background).
by Anonymous | reply 194 | August 10, 2020 11:06 PM |
Atta girl.
by Anonymous | reply 195 | August 10, 2020 11:18 PM |
We need to hit the ground running!
by Anonymous | reply 196 | August 10, 2020 11:22 PM |
"It's a learning curve." (No specifications on whether the curve is steep, flat, etc.)
by Anonymous | reply 197 | August 10, 2020 11:23 PM |
Let's revisit and reframe and repurpose for new solutioning.
by Anonymous | reply 198 | August 10, 2020 11:50 PM |
Speak up and enunciate clearly, bitch. You're wearing a fucking mask.
by Anonymous | reply 199 | August 11, 2020 12:26 AM |
Terminated for not being a team player.
by Anonymous | reply 200 | August 11, 2020 2:13 AM |
Table this motion
by Anonymous | reply 201 | August 11, 2020 2:15 AM |
Motion this table
by Anonymous | reply 202 | August 11, 2020 2:15 AM |
Partner with a team member.
by Anonymous | reply 203 | August 11, 2020 3:05 AM |
Shut the door and get on your knees.
by Anonymous | reply 204 | August 11, 2020 3:38 AM |
R190, in the same email, it’s likely that someone’s duties are changing – i.e. shrinking – to “allow them to focus more closely on” something or other. Translation: They’ve been demoted, usually with the expectation that they’ll find another job to spare everyone the embarrassment of being fired/firing yet another VP.
by Anonymous | reply 205 | August 14, 2020 12:31 AM |
Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.
Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!