Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Family is driving me insane

If you are 26 and have any looks whatsoever get on Grindr and find a much older man to take care of you.

Then leave him after you have secreted some security. This is no secret, it has been done before.

The day you stop needing your family's approval is the day you'll be truly free. This is how they control you.

No, the reason you will never be able to have a boyfriend or sex is that you sound like that you're simply a lot of work.

You're 26, but still living at home, and THEY are the problem? By the time I was 26, I had been living on my own for 8 years (granted 4 of them were in college with a roommate).

You blame everyone around you EXCEPT the one person who is responsible and actually able to do something about the situation.

Set goals, OP. Save up money to move out. What are your expenses living at home and how much money do you make each month? How can you supplement that? Do you have a car? Drive for GrubHub or Uber. Do you live in suburbia? Mow lawns and shovel snow. Elder care. Pet sitting. Retail, especially during the holidays. Anything you can do to make money, spend time away from your family, and save money to move out. Almost all of your free time should be spent in pursuit of making money.

r4

I don't have any money. I've never had a job. My mom buys me everything from food to video games and grandma pays the bills. I rarely even leave the house. I'm a shut-in. Too anxious and scared to do anuthing. My previous doctor (I'm uninsured now after being thrown off my mom's insurance) said I should be on Social Security because I'm not functioning but mom won't do it. Says it's too much of a hassle to go through the process. I'm mostly in bed all day.

Wow, you want to be a normal guy without doing anything normal. 26 year olds don't live at home with mom without a job. There's some major mental problems going on with you that you shouldn't shovel on anyone else. Do you not have any goals that you work toward? Work on your self esteem, get a job, an apartment and move out. Join a gym and workout regularly. Aren't you bored living at home with mom and not doing anything?

[quote]I don't have any money so I can't move out.

That's a problem. You're out of high school and you "can't move out"? You need to grow the fuck up and prioritize, or quit bitching about the free room and board!

You sound entitled, lazy, and shiftless. Look, having a fulfilling life means having determination, backbone and the ability to work hard. Get used to these concepts and fucking get serious. Get a J-O-B, save your money and MOVE the fuck OUT!

You sound like quite a catch! Everyone wants an adult in their life who's never worked or even moved out from under their parents wing. Does mom still serve your dinner in a bottle?

[quote]Does mom still serve your dinner in a bottle?

From a bottle?

Sounds more like she's still breastfeeding.

OP, I don't think you are eligible for social security since you've never contributed to it, but you could become a ward of the state if you are unemployable. They could fix you up in a group home.

Parents really can fuck up their children. Get out now!

Where is your father, OP?

My parents did the same thing to me OP because it was their way of telling me to get the hell out. So I did.

He is mentally ill, you cruel motherfuckers! He has been controlled by an abusive, probably narcissistic family who like to keep him in a helpless state in order to have full control. If you have never been in such a situation, you have zero right to judge and those calling him lazy, etc. are clueless and cruel.

In my opinion, OP needs to find a support group or free counselor (so that hus parents, who control all the money, won't know) and inform them that he is in an abusive situation. Hopefully, they will provide an exit strategy. I hope you have such resources in the USA. This is a VERY serious and sinister situation and I understand completely because I'm in the same shit, only I'm so ill that I have no hope of escaping. OP, you are still young, you will make it! Your parents are abusers and have conditioned you into learned helplessness (google it).

I understand how serious this is and why you feel you can't escape. Please reach out to organizations that can help you! Maybe someone here knows of an appropriate institution in OP's area?

Please keep us updated!! Much love

Thank you Gypsy Rose Blanchard at R14

There is so many things you could be doing to remedy all this. Yet you're playing video games?

this sounds a lot like me; only I moved out at 25 and moved to California in the late 1980s.

My family still had a hold on me and we had no Internet and the AIDS crisis, as far as I felt, was still in full swing.

Still, I'll never forget the time I bought a gay novel and brought it back to my sparsely furnished apartment and read it.

It took me a long time to tell me family to fuck off -- not literally -- but to say, hey, I'm going to live my own life.

Since then I haven't gotten everything I've wanted but I've gotten a lot more than I ever thought I'd have.

Good luck, OP.

Do whatever you have to do to get out and play safe.

OP should get a medical diagnosis from a competent mental health professional.

His mama is keeping him off health insurance, R18. Wonder why

Mom: "Cover your dirty pillows!" OP: "They're called breasts, mama, and every woman has them"

OP, if you have no job, you should be eligible for Medicaid. If you’re in California it’s Medi-Cal. You need to apply, and sign up for mental health services. I know a person who was disabled and on anti-depressants. She was able to see someone on a regular basis and get her medication. It sounds like you need anti-depressants or maybe something for anxiety.

About jobs, the county where you live usually has some sort of jobs service you can go to. Other places to look for are job fairs and employment services. They will test you to make sure you know how to type, and send you out on entry level jobs so you can put something on your resume. Right now, there are probably retail stores still hiring for Christmas and they will take almost anyone. This is a good chance for you.

Once you get some experience under your belt, look for work in a large corporation, even in the mailroom. As you gain confidence and experience, you can transfer to other jobs within the company.

Also, you sound like you’re on the spectrum. You should get yourself tested, and see if there are any services available. If you are, your best chance is to work in a large company, so you don’t have to keep doing job interviews with strangers. But for right now, try retail, because everyone is hiring right now.

[quote]His mama is keeping him off health insurance, [R18]. Wonder why

You can't keep children on your health insurance after they turn 26.

We've discussed with this profile before. Nobody remembers? And we got dick pics. Huge.

Try to get away in small steps, go out for an hour, then two or three, eventually you will see you can do it. The library is free, start with that. Or join an inexpensive gym.

I remember your posts about how afraid you are about how you will live after your mom and grandmother die.

I bet their lives aren't everything they ever dreamed about, either. Just a guess.

2/10

OP, I feel for you because I am in the same situation. It hurts so bad for me that sometimes I think it's just time for me to end my life so I'm no longer a burden, but I'm too afraid that I'll screw it up and end up unfortunately living, but living with a disability or in a vegetative state. Maybe someday we'll meet each other, but if not...it'll definitely be in the next lifetime! But I know exactly how you feel and understand your situation because I'm trapped in it myself.

R5, R10 - he's eligible for Social Security Disability underneath his parents, however, he would have to wait until one of them retires, applies for Medicare, or dies. Because of that, he's fully eligible for SSI (Supplemental Security Income). Based on what the SocSecAdmin says, he could get a check for the maximum for a single person, which is $771 now, but increases every year if the President of the United States signs a bill that Congress passes to increase the amount of Social Security benefits. Some do (like the Cheeto in office currently) and some don't (Obama didn't do it for almost three years in a row after the 2008 financial crisis).

If you're not going to work and pay your own way, then being under the thumb of the people supporting you is the consequence.

If you're reluctant to get a low level job that you could qualify for because it won't keep you in the style you've grown accustomed to, then downgrade your lifestyle. Rent a small studio or share an apartment with roommates. Get used to cooking your own food to save money. Wear cheaper clothes.

If you're not willing to give up the comforts that your tormentors are providing for you, then you pay with your soul. Same goes if it's some gross old sugar daddy footing your bills.

If it's welfare you qqualify for because your mentally/emotionally/intellectually unfit for work, you're also at the mercy of whatever government agency (voters and taxpayers) thinks you deserve to sustain you a bare minimum existence.

Nothing's free. You'll either have to get off your duff or just suck it up.

I agree 2/10.

But to play along. Do you absolutely never ever leave the house? Because by the age of 26 you would have at least picked up some guy and at least had sex. People do it all the time when they are still living at home, young men and women, and are still in their teens.

You'd have to be in some way a very scary individual to not have had this happen by now.

If you're over 18 I suggest you get a job, get your own place to live, even a room. Get a roommate if you have to or 2 jobs if you only qualify for part time or low paying jobs. If you're not educated try to get through college. BTW, it's way better and easier to the psyche to be told you're too skinny than too fat. I've been told both at different times in my life and believe me, too skinny is better.

Did you even go to high school? If you did, did you notice your classmates and friends getting jobs, going to college, dating, getting married? What were you doing this whole time? Playing video games in your room?