Sandra Bernhard said Madame X is too busy for her.

Wow, she’s no beauty but I can’t believe she’s 64. Madame X needs to call her estranged friend Sandra and get the name of her doctor.

Madonna's been too busy for that old has-been since the George H. W. Bush administration.

Well the thing is Sandra dropped by her then-girlfriend apartment and caught Madonna stepping out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel.

I'm sure there was a logical explanation as to why Madonna and Sandra's girlfriend were practically naked.

62, fuck I am old too

I love Sandra. I'll be at Joe's Pub again this year. I usually see that walking playground Jake Shears at the show.

I love her and Sandyland. The best part of her radio show is when she talks about her day. She makes the mundane hilarious. Her interviews are only good if she knows or fans out about her guests.

She looks and acts AMAZING for 64. She has the energy of someone 25 years younger.

Why is she on the Wendy Williams show? Doesn't her Xmas show at Joe's Pub immediately sell out every year? She admitted that she has little interest in her radio show which she does only one day per week.

What is she promoting? She's boring and has nothing to say.

Yeah she is celebrating her 10 year anniversary at Joe's. I saw it last year and it was phenomenal! I got to meet her afterward.

I kind of like her because I have gotten used to her like an old acquaintance over the years, but I’ve never found her funny and I don’t know how anyone sees her as a talented actress. Can someone give me an example of her being legitimately funny and/or turning in a good performance?

Why would anyone want to hang out with that old crone Madonna??! She has no sense of humor and sucks the life right out of the room.

R10, she was great in Roseanne.

She was great as the self-involved friend of Roseanne and Jackie Connor who dated Arnie and then turned Lezzlady.

I have to laugh at her not knowing anyone older who still does coke when she is good friends with Andy Cohen. I guess he knows not to offer her any.

R14 She obviously sneaked that in there to give cover to her boss. Andy Cohen employs her on his radio station. She said she needs to work.

R10, if you don't find this funny...I question your taste in comedy.

Sandy admits she has limited range as an actress and even said her fans only expect certain characters.

Also if you have spotify search for Sandy's screed on Iman. It kills.

Yeah, her Iman bit was funny. She usually talks politics at the shows. She's got plenty of material for this year's show.

I've seen her do shows a couple times at different periods in her life. She is funniest when she's talking about celebrities. It's never enjoyable to hear her sing--she's not really that good of a singer.

I'm sorry you didn't see her show at the HUB Ballroom on the U. of Washington campus on 13th November, 1993, [R20]. She sang beautifully.

[quote]I love Sandra. I'll be at Joe's Pub again this year. I usually see that walking playground Jake Shears at the show.

Going too, got tickets for friends for Xmas. They built a whole vacation to SF to see her at The Razz Room.

[quote]but I’ve never found her funny and I don’t know how anyone sees her as a talented actress.

I did too until Pose Season 2, with the exception of Angelica Ross as Candy I honestly think Bernhard was a highlight of the season.

[quote]I'm sorry you didn't see her show at the HUB Ballroom on the U. of Washington campus on 13th November, 1993, [[R20]]. She sang beautifully.

Me too, since I saw her perform for probably the same tour at Northrop Auditorium on the U. of Minnesota campus at about that time and she did not sing well. Nor did she the two other times I saw her perform live. You must have been there on a magic night.

From my YouTube channel:

I love Sandra. You could tell Wendy had to behave when interviewing her. She’s not someone you can emotionally manipulate or mess with

Why does Wendy ALWAYS have to bring up Madonna? They haven’t been friends in nearly 30 years FFS.

Is Sandra still shooting Pose? If not, why doesn't she go back to her radio show for more than only one day a week?

R10. Watch her film Without You Im Nothing.

And her role in king of of comedy with Al Pacino is great too

"HER HANUKKAH NAME" wendy always kills me!

They're two strange looking broads.

Still too busy...

R22, Sandra talked about the Razz Room in one of her shows. She was saying how they were cheap and saved money not to advertise her show and how Lil Kim's career got so bad she was now performing there since she couldn't fill other venues.

When it comes to my views about Madonna now, just call me Sandra Burn Hard,

She did a wonderful rendition of Promises, Promises at Joe's last year. She can sing certain songs, just not everything. She can get screechy.

Fuck Sandra Bernhard. I tried twice to see her at One World Theater in Austin, bought tickets and was excited, only to have the show cancelled at the last minute both times for different lame excuses. (Probably low ticket sales).

I always had thought she was hilarious in Hudson Hawk and that's one of the reasons I wanted to see her, but bitch has as much problem as Madonna in keeping a schedule.

[quote] Why does Wendy ALWAYS have to bring up Madonna? They haven’t been friends in nearly 30 years FFS.

It's the most interesting thing about Sandra Bernhard.

[quote] And her role in king of of comedy with Al Pacino is great too

That wasn't Al Pacino; it was Joe Pesci.

She’s ok but impossibly screechy and preachy, jumping in with “Oh Honey!” before any interviewer can finish a question. That’s exhausting. She’s been fortunate and scored some very solid roles and opportunities, but always seems to have a chip on her shoulder about money and recognition, always mythologizing others’ successes and earnings. “Oh Honey, let me tell you XX doesn’t need to worry...”. It’s hard to post this because I know she has really loyal fans who can flame you (“bitchdontyouever!”). Her radio show is ok but unevenly interesting. I’m seriously creeped out by anyone who affiliates with awful Andy Cohen. Blech... Faustian bargain.

[quote] She’s ok but impossibly screechy and preachy, jumping in with “Oh Honey!” before any interviewer can finish a question. That’s exhausting.

The [bold]only[/bold] time in her entire miserable hateful life Elisabeth Moss ever did anything worth applauding was when she turned it right back on Bernhard on "The View" and snapped back at her, "Don't 'honey' me... [italic]honey.[/italic]"

Bernhard really deserved it. She does that shit way too much, and it's just lazy. It was cute for Bernhard to imitate Harlem drag queens like that when she was in her 20s and early 30s, but she's too old for it now.

GaDang she's harsh.

I agree the “Oh honey!” shit is tired.

Well she considers "Oh Honey" her trademark and I doubt she will give it up now.

Well, that make its okay and not at all tedious then, r42.

"Oh, honey" is not offensive. A lot of people use that phrase.

I liked what she said about Bruce / Caitlin Jenner: "Bruce Jenner was a sexist, golf-playing bore." Then, he becomes a woman and undeservedly gets attributed with great qualities.

[quote]Fuck Sandra Bernhard. I tried twice to see her at One World Theater in Austin, bought tickets and was excited, only to have the show cancelled at the last minute both times for different lame excuses. (Probably low ticket sales).

Maybe she heard you were coming.

Another who can do without her singing. She does have some great stories, like trying to make dinner plans with Liza and Michele Lee.

R46 no, that was yo mama.

I seriously doubt she's too busy. Madonna has no friends.

I’ve seen most of her major shows over the last 30 years (Without You I’m Nothing in ‘88, Giving til It Hurts in ‘91, etc). She produced some really good shows back in the day but today she has nothing to say and I haven’t seen her live in over 10 years. The singing is spotty, at best.

"Pose" is canceled, kaput, right?

[R23], she finished with the Joni Mitchell song, "River," and that high note at the end, you know, "I'd teach my feet to fly-hi-hi-hi-hi," I stopped time and burned it into my brain. Since then, it's the only thing that's remained (the rest of what was there has just dissolved over time. Nobody seems to notice. Except me, on a rational day...lol). Seriously, I'm sorry you missed it.

I still like her, but she's in Bette Midler territory now. Funny and bawdy when she was younger, but she lost her edge when she got older and had a kid. She's turned into a prude, just like Bette.

"Pose" is canceled, kaput, right?"

No. Why would you think that?

r3 the shower belongs to model Ingrid Casares who had been dating Sandra. Madonna was in a long term relationship with Ingrid but she never let it be known. It's weird though right? Madonna, this major gay icon, never let it be known that she was in a long term partnership (or fuckship) with another woman.

I know there will be a lot of comments shooting this down but lots of us in New York knew about this and that this is why Sandra and Madonna's friendship broke up so bitterly.

Madonna’s not even bi. She has been using LGBT community for decades but she’s not bi and never will be

"Without You I'm Nothing" is a brilliant reworking of her concert for a new medium. It's also fucking hilarious.

I didn't know that r42.

That's too bad because Trixie Mattel does "Oh honey." so much better.

And I like Sandra but. . . oh honey.

r56 Madonna was fucking Ingrid Casares for years.

Madge is definitely bi.

She was so edgy back in 1990!

Weren't we all?

I am OBSESSED with Stevie Nicks.

There's bi, and then there's "Oh, I'm kissing a girl now, is he looking?" r55

[quote]Madonna’s not even bi. She has been using LGBT community for decades but she’s not bi and never will be

Exactly. Even her brother said that Ingrid was like a desperate puppy that followed Madonna around everywhere and that Madonna wasn’t interested in her in that way and just enjoyed being worshipped.

[quote]Well she considers "Oh Honey" her trademark and I doubt she will give it up now.

Even Joan Rivers gave up her trademark “Can we talk?” by the time she was in her 60’s because it was so tired by that point.

Sandra seems lazy at this point, and she admitted as much in this interview.

Sandra poked fun at Madonna in her 1992 show - "I wanna finger fuck you Cannes. I wanna rim you in Rome. I wanna pretend I'm a lesbian and run down the hallway of a cheap Paris hotel"

But is it matchy matchy?

These two look like something out of the Muppet Show.

These two look like something out of the Muppet Show.

r63 Madonna met Ingrid in the 80's and was still fucking her when she was seeing Carlos Leon in the 90's. Carlos' family lives in the same building as a friend of mine on w 91st between Broadway and Amsterdam.

No one knew about Ingrid 63, Madonna didn't use her relationship with Ingrid to get attention. She used her hetero sexuality as a way of getting attention. Madonna hid the fact she was fucking Ingrid and it is one of the reasons I despise her. She was fine using our community but didn't want to be a part of it.

[quote]Madonna was in a long term relationship with Ingrid but she never let it be known. It's weird though right? Madonna, this major gay icon, never let it be known that she was in a long term partnership (or fuckship) with another woman.

Madonna has always played her bisexuality in that media-friendly way like she's just putting on a show. You know, the whole Katy Perry thing, pretending to be bi on stage while Middle Americans can pretend she's just doing it for attention.

But she really has had relationships with women and she hides them because it wouldn't be good for her bottom line.

Madonna’s obsessive love letters to another woman came to light a few years ago. She’s definitely bi.

R57: Agree with you wholeheartedly. I love "Without You I'm Nothing"...always worth another viewing.

I also love her commentary about Princess Diana's death:

"There was so much I wanted to say about the princess, but when I saw Steven Seagal speak so eloquently on CNN, I said to myself, 'What do you have to contribute to this moment?' It was such a rare and unique opportunity for so many stars and celebrities to express the repressed grief they've felt for things we can't even begin to imagine. When Tom Cruise described how many times he drove through that tunnel, it gave me the chills. I said, 'It's the edgy shit that needs to go into your work, baby.' "

I think Sandra Bernhard can do anything, anytime, anywhere. She's amazing.

I can't believe there are people saying, "Her face looks harsh." Or, "She needs to give that up." Or, "Not the best singer."

Whhhaaaaat? Have you been paying attention to this woman at all for the last 30 years?

In the 80's/90's I was an obsessed fan of both Madonna and Sandra Bernhard.

Now it's 2019 and I'm still an obsessed fan of Sandra, but hardly pay attention to Madonna anymore.

Imagine that.

"If you should wake up one long, lonely night and feel that you're all alone, remember. You ARE."

Wow. My first time watching any Wendy Williams. Is she for real? I was exhausted after watching the segment with Sandra. And people watch this crap?

I think Sandra is the cynical, NYC version of a type of character like Dame Edna.

Her persona lets her make pointed, comic but sometimes scathingly true observations about people.

Less ha-ha funny and more clever, but enjoyable all the same.

She looks phenomenal for 64.

The extra 30lbs saved her face.

I know, right. I find her interviewing cringe worthy uncomfortable to watch. It's as if she is afraid sandra is gonna turn and bite so she treats her with velvet gloves

How funny that the only pop culture relevance that Sandra has in 2019 is a long-dead, brief friendship with Madonna. It must chap her ass to be asked about Madonna on TV ALL THESE YEARS LATER.

'Madame X is busy" = "Madonna won't return my calls"

Was Madonna bankrolling Ingrid's business ventures in Miami during the early 90s? This was back when Madonna had her house on Star Island and Ingrid was the Queen of South Beach.

No, Ingrid comes from money.

Her family's wealth is probably just as massive or even larger than Madonna's.

R76 same here!

Sandra is really cool about the Madonna questions- she is constantly asked about her and always answers honestly...I really don't think she cares that much about her anymore thought but who does?

Sandra has Personality....Madonna....don't.

PART I

Bernhard defends Palin 'gang rape' joke

NEW YORK, Sept. 20 (UPI) -- Comic Sandra Bernhard says a "gang rape" joke she made about Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin was part of her New York act.

Bernhard said Friday that suggesting the Alaska governor would be gang-raped if she follows through with a scheduled New York visit was simply part of her provocative comedy act, the New York Daily News reported.

"(The gang rape comment) is part of a much larger, nuanced and, yes, provocative -- that's what I do -- piece from my show about racism, freedom, women's rights and the extreme views of Gov. Sarah Palin, a woman who doesn't believe that other women should have the right to choose," Bernhard said.

PART II The comic made the comment during a recent performance of her "Without You I'm Nothing" stage show that is due in Washington this month, the Daily News said.

Bernhard told the newspaper she is concerned about Palin's views on abortion and therefore targets the Republican in her act.

"Women deserve better," she said. "I certainly wish Governor Palin no harm. I'd just like her to explain to me how she can hold such outrageous views -- and then go back to Alaska."

I stopped any validation for Sandra after this. As was mentioned upthread, she seems to have a chip on her shoulder.

The Palin "gang rape" joke was just stupid and totally unfunny.

Now if Sandra had said Palin comes to NY and then gets gang raped by a group of men with Down's Syndrome....then it totally would have been hilarious. :)

Sandra admits she only works because she has to. She'd like nothing more than to find a very rich sugar mama. She said, very insightfully I thought, that the worst thing in the world was to become some bitter old cunt like Joan Rivers who kept working because it was their whole identity.

It’s really strange that these women hung out as friends almost 30 years ago and people are still asking about it and reading into their lack of communication. And Bernhard is happy to continue answering questions about it. It does Tell you something about the nature of celebrity how powerful it is. Probably the weirdest thing that major celebrities have to deal with is that everyone wants to hang out with them and spend time with them and once they do create a friendship or relationship, those friends always actively try to keep it going which why you so often hear about celebs ghosting their old friends. Literally everyone they have ever been in contact with is trying to get and stay in touch with them

Madonna moved on from one loud mouth lesbian (Sandra) to the next (Rosie).

The Rosie friendship seems to have stood the test though.

“And Bernhard is happy to continue answering questions about it.”

Watch the clip again. Sandy fights back her annoyance before laughing off the question and pretending to not be bothered by it. She’s an actress.

Are Sandra and Kathy Griffin friends? I'm guessing they're not, since Sandra works with Andy Cohen now.

R93 people call in her radio show all the time and ask about Madonna. She always answers.

[quote] How funny that the only pop culture relevance that Sandra has in 2019 is a long-dead, brief friendship with Madonna.

I think that whole deal says less about Sandy and more about Wendy Williams, who's total trash and just kept asking about it when even my grandma knows that's done and over with.

It's funny that Wendy is afraid of her.

[quote]I stopped any validation for Sandra after this.

"I had VALIDATION for her and I STOPPED it!"

Gasp!

wait wasn't wendy just in rehab for coke? Am I imagining this?

Oldie but a goodie

Mmmmm.....delicious.

"Why does Wendy ALWAYS have to bring up Madonna? They haven’t been friends in nearly 30 years FFS"

Because it's no-talent, one trick pony Bernhard's sole claim to a very nebulous fame.

.

Hmmm...sorry to call bullshit on that brain dead gang rape joke. Even before the “me, too” cancel culture era, that joke is bad news and seriously desperate gallows humor. And trying to retune it as Guerrilla feminism is some serious bullshit, dirty cynicism. There are smarter, funnier ways to call out conservatives than that.

Madonna is a textbook sociopath. She checks off all the criteria.

She says she never said anything about gang rape, that was something added later in the comments of this review. Note that they say the rape quote came from Drudge first, and David Duke wrote another outraged article written about the alleged rape quote and is quoted in full in comments.

I found the original article with the bit quoted and it's got nothing about rape.

And here's the review where the "gang rape" comment apparently originated. You'll see everyone discussing it is literally taking David Duke's word for it, there is no actual source other than his claim.

Sorry guys, you're cancelling Sandra Bernhard over a rumor spread by David Duke and Matt Drudge.

R107 why would you be so racist as to assume we're all guys?

R104 here. Yikes! Taking back my invective. That seems like a serious misattribution to this comedian.

Oh for Pete's sake, nobody can cancel granny Sandy Bernhard. Hardly anyone even knows her anymore. Her "fans" are tough old queens like myself.

I was at the show in DC where she said it. Something about having some brothers take care of Sarah Palin.

"I was at the show in DC where she said it. Something about having some brothers take care of Sarah Palin."

And you were there in the emergency room when Rod Stewart had to have his stomach pumped because of all the jizz he swallowed.

And of course, you were also in Vietnam when that kid from Leave it to Beaver exploded after eating Pop Rocks and drinking soda.

Her early appearances on David Latterman were some of the weirdest, funniest things I ever saw on television as a young gay kid.

Her Sirius show is the worst.

“And then I stopped at a place for Chinese chicken salad. I love Chinese chicken salad. And blah blah blah. And then I went for a pedicure because, why not? A girl has to pamper herself and blah blah blah. And our friends were going to have us over for dinner and their house is cute and the drive isn’t so bad and blah blah blah,” then she suddenly starts singing, usually very offkey and forced.

R122, the urban legend about pop rocks and soda was about Mikey from the Life cereal commercial.

I love her quotidian commentary because there is always something that triggers her....and then she will say "don't ask" or "that's a sidebar". I love a triggered Sandy. So fun!!

A couple weeks ago, Sandra was on Andy Cohen’s radio show and his side kick John Hill brought up Ingrid Caseres and there was an immediate chill. Sandy loves John but she shut it down and you could tell he really tripped a wire. John is normally super sensitive but he came off like an insensitive prick because he thought Ingrid was fodder for a joke and clearly Sandra hates her guts. It was uncomfortable.

Unapologetic for the “outrageous” routine she did give, Bernhard told Huffington Post that she did not use the term “gang rape,” and in fact never said “rape” at all during the performance in question.

What started as an internet rumor snowballed and by late Wednesday afternoon had become an AP article (initially picked up by Huffington Post) that reported Bernhard had been cut from a benefit for a Boston women’s shelter because of her performance and then inaccurately quoted her saying it.

...Bernhard says, it got twisted. “Secondhand someone got wind of something I said about Sarah Palin and then twisted it. Matt Drudge is the king of theater and he put ‘gang rape’ in quotes and it’s turned into this ugly thing.

“The internet has served good and it’s served bad. In this case it’s a double-edged sword. In a weird way I get my voice out there, in another way it gets twisted and misrepresented.”

R118 That sounds like a legal issue. Can you misattribute a quotation like that and not be held accountable? The implication is a serious one. Why did they cancel her performance?

R10 This.

R102 I struggled through that clip. Is this character wistful and longing for some romantic ideal? Or is she turning that ideal on its head? Bernhard is a curious presence. She can almost sing and act. I can see how some people are attracted to the idea of her, and protective of her creative output. That long clip has way too many cloying bits of cheesy observational humor. That singing is unsteady, not in a charming way.

Maybe she can ask Oscar the Grouch for her old job back.

R120 That’s awful. I never understood the appeal of that film, though I know it’s admired. Bernhard is, in a way, known for scoring a few unusual parts in cult films. Her film career is like that of Sylvia Miles. On stage she reminds me of Penny Arcade, only way more pushy and self-righteous.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that Sandra Bernhard and Madonna could not be more irrelevant.

Penny Arcade! Burn.

R124. No, you cannot speak for everyone.

In 1987 on Late Night With David Letterman, talking about Madonna (and Sean Penn) when she seemed to first become friendly. She's apparently wearing one of Madonna's True Blue-era bustiers loaned to her for the show. "They boost your yays!"

This appearance typifies why Bernhard became so famous to American TV viewers in the later 80's. She's so strange you can't stop watching.

She was lucky Dave liked her.

Holy cow! Someone apparently strung all of her Letterman appearances into a 2-hour youTube clip? I assume it's in order.

I wonder why Dave never invited her back when he switched networks?

R1 That’s true. She does look good for her age.

I loved her on Letterman... chat shows are so boring now with all their stupid games and shitty attempts at making viral YouTube content. They are also SOLELY celebrities talking about other celebrities (and the videos are titled as such to get more clicks). Watch the Sandra appearances and her and Dave are just hanging out, talking about anything and everything.

Not sure what happened between them (she has said she doesn't know why he stopped having her on), but her last appearance on his show was a little different and perhaps awkward (IIRC she was pregnant). I thought it was a little slack that he didn't allow her back for his final week. All his other semi-regulars were on (some with less than half the # of appearances Sandra had).

There must have been DUST on those mints!

OMG R127 I remember that segment!

My friends and I used "boost your yays" for years after that.

R132 Yeah, I watched most of that long YouTube clip R129 posted. It really took me back. Bernhard is a total character. She has such a weird "on." Letterman's show was so rich in ideas. Television and culture were so different back then. I hope things don't become completely forgotten! *sniff*

? R133

It’s a line from Without You, I’m Nothing, R136.

I believe it was “Aku Aku, the Polynesian.”

Still one of the top 2 oversights in Oscar history. Along with Courteney Love.

I like Sandra Barnhardt. Of course Madonna could never be friends with her because she would be forced to constantly see that she too has grown old. Madonna doesn’t like to hang with people over the age of 25. Soon her own daughter will be above her acceptable age range.

No one speaks of pavilions anymore, and that truly saddens me.

I've never understood this woman's appeal. She doesn't seem particularly talented at anything, and it's not clear why exactly she has a career.

I used to really enjoy her radio show. I quite liked her monologues about her daily activities, her auditions, meetings, trips to the grocery store. She had guests you don’t see pop up elsewhere. People like Brenda Vaccaro, she even got Bette Midler on there once despite having said Bette wasn’t the warmest person when Sandra expressed her admiration years ago.

Then at some point she got a big bitter over not getting better work and sort of admitted she was using the radio job to keep her name out here and get a good project. She even started to ask guests to keep her in mind for work/have her on for a guest spot. It was all a bit desperate. Then she got Pose and cut the radio show back to 1 day per week. I thought that might reignite the spark but she seems over it.

She had a hell of a lot of work in the later 80's and early 90's. It seemed like every time I turned on some cable comedy stand-up show or "Midnight Movie" show she'd be the host.

One moment that still makes me laugh when I remember it: there was some Elvira-like show (I think on Comedy Central) where they showed weird B-movies and she'd intro the film while sipping a martini on a couch with a giant lava lamp next to her. Before and after commercial breaks she'd talk about what was happening in the movie. They screened some 50's gladiator B-movie with a woman trapped in a giant spider web and a fake huge spider about to eat her and the gladiator runs up to save her... and it cuts to commercial (and Sandra), who goes:

"Wow! Did you see that woman trapped in that giant spider web?! If I walked in on my partner and saw that, I'd say, 'Look, honey you KNOW I love you... but I just CAN'T deal with this right now.' Then I'd go out and have a delicious dinner."

[quote] they showed weird B-movies and she'd intro the film while sipping a martini on a couch with a giant lava lamp next to her.

Just thinking about that makes me laugh!

She definitely hits up her guests for work...she did it recently with the guy who directed Bridesmaids... can’t remember his name. I kind of love that she does it. I mean the only reason she’s on Pose is because Ryan Murphy loves her. Same with Andy Cohen.

R146 Whoopi Goldberg did that for most of her time on The View. She always used to bitch about having to take The View job because she couldn’t find employment acting, and then she would say she was grateful for the job—and when any director came on, she’d tell them she’s available for work. It’s surprising to me that she hasn’t gotten much work.

She's not remotely funny. But like Amy Sedaris, Andy Cohen and others she is an overbearing manic character. She has terrible comic timing, just keeps talking. Does she have a fan under 60 years old? So eldergays are tripping down memory lane. NO one under 40 knows Sandra Bernhardt unless they watched Roseanne in reruns, like I did. That Scorcese film? 73 people saw it. It's very annoying, even if she is quite good in it.

As someone 20 years younger, I think she was not a bad actress on shows like Roseanne and Will and Grace. They figured out how to make use of her obnoxious personality. A little goes a long way, but she's fun when she's grandiose and has a script. Conversationally she is not amusing and her conceptual pieces are tedious. Plus she's not said anything new since y'all were sniffing poppers at Sunday Brunch, honey. Eldergays used to sniff poppers socially I understand. Gross. Her shows are not worth reviving. I saw one. We didn't leave, because a few others already had.

I also think, that given the right song - Bernhard is not a terrible singer. She has a tragic break between her chest and head register which sometimes makes her sound like a broken down opera singer on crack, a parody of a parody. But her lower register is quite nice, warm and round tones. And her phrasing is meaningful, when she isn't throwing a good song away. I get that she knows she's not a great singer so that's why she camps it up, but there are better and more mature ways to do that. Pick a song you can actually sing, like she did here.

Who is this Sandra Bernhardt you speak of R148?

Read my fucking post grampa and enjoy the song R149. So autocorrect got her name wrong ONCE in my post. I caught it the second time. How long did it take you to catch it granny? Take the stake out of your ass. Drugs both ruined and saved your life.

Let's just be honest... she's got a face for radio, and a voice for silent films.

I'm disappointed that nobody has been torrenting her radio show for people outside the US who don't get Sirius like they do for Howard Stern. I LOVE Sandra and would love to hear her show.

As American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and a little red Corvette...

Less than 10K views. Tragic.

I saw her three times live over the course of 15 years, starting in the late 1990s in Manhattan, ending in SF in the early 2010s. First time: Fantastic, sharp, on fire. Second time not so much. But the third time she was clearly just lazy -- hadn't prepared, felt like she was barely even there. I think she took advantage of fans and early fame and just stopped trying . Would never put out money to see her again.

I saw her in her show "without you I'm nothing," down at the Orpheum theater, she was mesmerizing, especially when she sang Me and Mrs. Jones

Amy Sedaris has been eating her lunch since Strangers with Candy. Amy works all the time and was just Emmy nominated for her own show. Amy is more talented and a harder worker.

Sandy vs. Ruby

R158 God I miss Ruby Wax's shows as well. I remember her pissing Madonna off, staying at a cowboy ranch with Carrie Fisher, and getting into a fight with Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Weird tension between her and Sandra there. Two loudmouth Americans on British television. I think they were both at a point in their careers where they felt it wasn't exactly going uphill. They'd plateaued, were insecure about it, and were taking it out on each other.

Yes R159, except Ruby is intelligent and funny and Sandra only amuses herself. She acts as if she's withholding something delicious from you, but she hasn't got anything to offer. She's just an attitude.

I don't get it...she says she has every dime she's ever made, yet is desperate for work at this age? Something doesn't compute.

Does Sandra’s girlfriend work? I wonder what Sandy’s expenses are? On her radio show she used to talk about never getting hotels if she could avoid it. She’d stay with cousins when on tour, she stated with Michelle Lee in LA, she would drive home from Philly shows rather than get a room.

Ruby Wax was great fun. I loved her interviews with Zsa Zsa and Tammy Faye.

R162, in her shows, she mentioned girlfriend (who she's been with for like 20 years) went back to her "prestigious day job" so I don't think she's a moocher. And she says ever since she sold her house in North Hollywood, she stays at Michelle Lee's house whenever she's in LA. She must have made a mint on her house. Besides Cecily's college, I don't know what major overhead she has.

R158 That clip is rough. There are a few moments when they drop the coded language and really dig at each other. When Sandra says “you’d rather be making films in the US” it’s pretty frank. Ruby seems really tough on Sandra’s looks. I’m not a huge fan, but thought that needling about classic beauty was inelegant, and I think Sandra was pretty stoic...”I have beauty” “I have fame, enough fame”. It was a pretty down and dirty segment.

A couple times over the years, before the rapid Peters/LuPone turnaround made it impossible (burn in hell, Arthur Laurents), I've said to a few people that Sandy would be a pretty riveting Rose in [italic]Gypsy[/i]. (Her or Jenifer Lewis.)

Where the fuck is Celine?!?

R166 Canadians don’t count, especially French Canadians.

I saw Sandy 3x last year. I love her. It's true her performances are uneven but her Joe's Pub performance last year was fantastic. I actually called into her show and asked her about the Ruby Wax interview. She said she apologized to her and blamed it on being pregnant.

I love Sandra. I remember being 20 and stumbling upon her I'm Still Here Damn It CD, while browsing at a record store, and buying it on a whim. I became obsessed with it, playing it over and over. When the tour finally came to my city, I took my best friend, who was just as obsessed, and we left a bit disappointed, because the show was virtually the same as it was on CD, and we already knew all of the punchlines.

We saw her again a few years ago, just outside of Chicago, and she was fantastic, with plenty to say about the election, and a ton of off-script ranting. I think she's an acquired taste, but I find her quite amusing.

Thanks R168 I was wondering if she had ever commented on the Ruby Wax interview.

I had every word memorized from her Without You I'm Nothing CASSETTE, and had seen the movie dozens of times.

Flash forward about 15 years, I'm living in NYC. One Spring day I took the day off from work to explore the city, and I pass by the Algonquin Hotel. Just for fun, I looked at the calendar of events in the window, and ANDREA MARCOVICCI was playing! At THE ALGONQUIN! (true Sandy fans will know what I'm referring to).

I continued about my day, ending up in Chelsea, and decided to treat myself to a pedicure (never had one done before). As I'm sitting in the chair, I remembered that Sandra wrote in her first book "Confessions of a Pretty Lady" that she used to be a pedicurist when she moved out to LA to do comedy, and how Dyan Cannon was a client of hers and never once looked at her.

Anyway, AT THAT VERY MOMENT Sandra walked in!! She was having a manicure, and there I am 10 feet away getting my calluses scraped. I'm flustered, because I'm such a fan. I debate saying something to her, because I didn't want to invade her space. So I finished up and waited for her outside like a true stalker! LOL. She comes out, and I approach her and tell her I'm sorry to bother her, that I'm a big fan, and told her the Algonquin Hotel story and how I thought of her. She said "that's sweet, baby, I adore you." And gave me a big hug.

So that's my Sandra story.

"Where the fuck is Celine?!?"

She's there, but she turned sideways for the camera.

R166 so Vogue is now using illustrations for its cover now?

I just watched the 3-hour video at R129 and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it! I never knew Sandra was so multi-talented. She's definitely an entertainer! She basically took over Dave's show during every appearance.

The fact that Sandra doesn't have a perfect beauty face is the POINT, the fact that she doesn't have Celine Dion's voice is the POINT, the fact that her comic timing and references border on the insane is the POINT. She also self-references all these elements into her act. She's subtle, cerebral and clever one minute... and crazy, human and unhinged the next. Back and forth.

This is why she became so famous and continued to be adored for so long in the first place.

That's a perfect description R175.

Iman is always asking favors of me - this in and of itself is hilarious!

I loved her Iman bit - "Iman is always being awarded and lauded. I mean for WHAT?!

The image of someone like Iman harassing Sandy for favors always makes me laugh..as if.

Team Sandra. Ruby is a major cunt in that clip. I wouldn't stay polite either.

Sandra has been on Wendy several times, and each time is a delight, including the most recent one. Those girls really seem to dig each other.

Wendy and Sandra are made for each other. Pretend in the know fag hags, who hate fags and don't know anything for the last 20 years. Wendy Williams used to be fun but she's wrong about everything. The internet came and her own troubles layed her hair flat. She always was a fake ass bitch. Sandra invented a career out of her connections and implied connections. She had them. She was for a brief time in with Warren and Jack and Madonna and Sean and Suzanne Somers, Liza and Scorsese, Laverne AND Shirley - because it was all the same. She had some fun with it and made ONE show out of it before I was born. Almost. She should be ashamed of it now. But she keeps reviving it? Now with tangential stories about Justin Timberlake!!! Bernhard doesn't have to know anyone, because no one answered her calls for decades. Sandra is so inconsequential that no one bothers to tell the TRUTH about HER. She was Kathy Smith to the A list. A connection.

Bitch seems like a smart cookie. She has others pegged and has herself pegged as well, I'm sure. She doesn't seem to be lacking any self-awareness. Sandra's the type of bitch you can't get anything past. "You can't scam a scammer!"

Exactly r182. But she's a talentless scammer. Anyone with balls and a hot cunt could do what she did. That's not everyone, but Bernhard has got no real talent. She's was a critic with good coke.

*She/He.

Oh come on, she has talent. She's quick, she's funny, she's a natural performer, and her singing really isn't bad. I find her honesty very refreshing. Kathy Griffin, move aside--Sandra can both dish it AND take it. I applaud her!

Here she is dragging Madonna for being a desperate (or "deficient") attention whore:

I watch those old Letterman clips every few years or so. Brings back great memories of high school and college and my best friend—he and I would record the shows and watch them over and over. Sadly, he’s now a Republican on wife number 2 and probably would pretend he never liked Sandra if I brought her up.

What the hell is the name of her podcast? I can't find it anywhere.

People change R187. You don't have to become a republican to see through Sandra Bernhard's paper thin talent. Time to grow up. She's nothing without you. I don't resent her, I'm sure I am more successful and richer. She works for what she makes - but she couldn't get on Celebrity Big Brother. Ain't nothing cool about Sandy - friend of Andy. Princesses of Darkness. She's definitely minor league. A lot of luck and $$$ (coke dealer) signs of the times went into her few years of low level popularity.

She has good self esteem and didn't self destruct. Nice. But don't pretend she is talented. There are hundreds of free podcasts more entertaining than her contribution to the world.

R55, I remember when that went down, because I was in one of my “fuck LA, I’m gonna stay in NYC” cycles. It was gossiped about EVERYWHERE.

Interestingly enough, Sandra’s sisters-in-law & I became good friends, once I came back to LA.

I never discussed Madonna or asked about Sandra. Lovely lady, and a great family.

But yeah, Madonna and Ingrid were totally a couple. This is really old news and I thought it was common knowledge.

R188 Sandyland on Sirius XM.

Oh okay, that explains why I can't find it on itunes. Thanks, R191.

R189 to each his own. Now stop with your critiques. We get it you you're not a fan.

I wouldn't characterize Sandra as a fag hag. She's a lesbian not a fat straight girl holding a torch for her gay best friend. Her sensibility is the same as most gay men from her era (those that didn't perish from AIDS).

When is this talentless asshole going to realize if it wasn't for relationship with Madonna, she'd be a bigger nobody than she already is.

So 99.99999% of the world never watched Roseanne, R195?

Is Madge all over this thread? Because for sure she hits DL on the reg. And I used to love Madge. My opinion of her has gone down, however, because I think Madge loves to talk shit about those she thinks have slighted her, or rejected her. And she does so pathologically, on message boards, or sitting on her bed, talking shit as she drinks.

Now, someone on this thread is going off on Sandy, and that someone sounds like Madge.

I’m beginning to think R189, R195 and similar posts are from Matt and he’s off his meds again. It’s shades of his obsession with anyone that liked “Call Me By Your Name” and wouldn’t agree with his opinions.

Please, Sandra doesn't even need bitter pills anymore, her body just produces it.

Lesbians can be fag hags, too.

"So 99.99999% of the world never watched Roseanne, [R195]?"

Most people would have to think about what they had for dinner last night, much less remember a bit player from a 20 year old sitcom, R196.

If you listened to her radio show she has mellowed tremendously...she can still turn it on and be a bit of a cunt. That's why we love her.

Not really, 201. I had spaghetti last night and I remember Christine Elise from Beverly Hills, 90210.

Glib assholes that need to lose the word "relevant" fast. Trust me, Bernhard is immortalized in film history thanks to Masha in "King of Comedy". A true original.

"King of Comedy" is second tier Scorsese. Nobody watches his 80s comedies anymore.

Absolute bullshit. Critics and those of us with discerning tastes love it., It bombed at the box office but it's still classic Scorsese/DeNiro.

R205 LOL! Oh dear.

What about his 70s comedies?

Saw her show at Joe's Pub last night. Went with friends who love her. Gotta say she was laugh out loud hilarious. I'm a fan of anyone who starts their show with the theme song from a Yaphett Kotto film and ends with the anthem from "Billy Jack". She called me Baby. Celebrities love me.

While discussing money with one of her guests Sandy admitted to having around 5 million. I was actually surprised as looking at her body of work I don't see any big cash cows. Roseanne maybe? She tours but plays to crowds of 200-300 so they can't be very lucrative either.

Sandra, calm down and move to the suburbs. They'll love you as being unconventional.

I think Sandra hurt her career by wanting to be a mediocre singer more than an excellent comic.

I admit to not reading all the posts so if I apologize if I'm being repetitious. She was EXCELLENT in King of Comedy. Why is she not in the DeNiro/Scorcese stable. Something nasty must have happened. But she's great in that movie (oops - I mean 'film').

I would imagine Sandra used to be very difficult.

I know she was a cunt at a fundraiser in Atlanta.

R214 Details please?

Richard E Grant writes about working with Sandra on Hudson Hawke. He took her at face value, was able to handle her and they remained friends but it was clear that she was no picnic to work with. She was insecure, high strung, emotional and the sort of coworker I would be avoiding at all costs!

She mentioned in one of her shows she's owned in house in LA since '86 so she probably made a mint when she sold it. I don't think Roseanne would've been a cash cow. She was known for paying guest stars cheaply, which is why John Randolph never returned as Roseanne's dad. Maybe she has a good financial advisor and invested wisely.

She always seems so terrified that people are going to publicly call her out for being such a limited talent. That's where the bluster and "outrageousness" comes from--it's meant to intimidate anyone who questions her relevance as a performer.

Oooo gurrrrl, R218 has her pegged!

Unedited interview with Stevie Nicks 05/27/1998 from my YouTube Channel:

R215 She was the featured act for a fundraiser dinner.

But she was drunk and hadn't prepared, thinking she was so witty she could just wing it. I would have thought so, too, but she couldn't.

Sandra got very pissy with the crowd when they didn't laugh -- or worse, just ignored her to chat at their tables. Normally, I would have considered that rude, but it's what she deserved.

She claims she never drinks and never has

Yeah, that story doesn’t pass the smell test. She may have been a cunt at that event, but it’s not likely the reason was drinking.

She also claims she’s funny and talented.

[quote]She claims she never drinks and never has

She also claims she's never done cocaine.

You people are idiots for believing celebrities when they say things like that.

HooooooooooooooooNeeeeeeeeeeeee! Miss Sandra only drinks... SCCCCCCCCCCCHWEPPPPPPPPPPS!

[quote]She also claims she's never done cocaine.

A few years ago, she finally had to admit that she had tried everything at least once.

R12 She wasn't great in Roseanne. All of her line readings sounded stilted.

And I like Sandra.

She posted an Insta live video backstage before her concert a few months ago. She didn’t seem drunk but she was totally wired and “up”. As my mother would say “she’s very highly strung”.

r212 and r218 both have her pegged, r219. Thread closed. Gavel down.

What? She into pegging?

I remember going to the premiere of her movie made from her one-woman show.

I had heard of her, but didn't really know her act. I thought she was a comic.

But the movie was full of her singing. Badly. I thought she was funny and liked her attitude, but she was delusional thinking she could fill a movie with her singing.

That was the whole premise of the movie. A mediocre nightclub singer desperate to get the audience’s attention, which in the film they never give her.

Finally she strips and sings Little Red Corvette but there’s nobody left in the club except one black woman who writes “Fuck Sandra Bernhard” on a tablecloth in lipstick.

WITHOUT YOU, I’M NOTHING is a commentary on the cultural fascination with fame and how badly people drawn to any form of performance want it. Sandra is also subtly criticizing herself. It’s really a pretty brilliant film and had fantastic sets and a wardrobe by Christian Lacroix, Donna Karan, Isaac Mizrahi and Romeo Gigli, along with vintage Chanel.

It was not a commercial success, but it was highly praised by critics for its frank commentary on American values and celebrity culture.

La-kwah, sweetie.

Wendy might as well say to her, "The only real claims you have to fame are a movie you made 35 years ago with Martin Scorsese and a friendship with Madonna that's been over for a quarter century--let's talk about those things."

[quote]That was the whole premise of the movie. A mediocre nightclub singer desperate to get the audience’s attention

Oh, honey, that's not the premise for one movie; it's her whole career.

Yes, sweetie. She was also parodying her own career which she had always freely admitted. Watch her Letterman interviews where she is open and honest about her desire for more success and the bitterness that can come from that.

Poor little bitch girl.

0:50 and then 5:42 to 7:40

Which is utter BS R235

"You know your career is in trouble when you start resenting Linda Hunt."

“Oh they found a part for her? Great, I’m thrilled.”

7:15 Cherrrrrr!

One of my favorite things about Sandra Bernhard was that she would wear these absolutely awful unflattering couture outfits like the one at r239 and then act like they were completely beyond reproach simply because they were designed by famous names.

For you! ^^^^

Nice hair at R245! Dave was so mean to her!

I agree her makeup and hair at r245 are great. The dress is also much better than those other hideous and unflattering concoctions at r239 and r243 (and it does show off her great legs).

As for Dave's being "mean" to her: not really. Both of their shticks are always about mocking other people, and they both knew that about the other (this was, as she says, her 25th time on the show). I don't see him being any worse to her than she is usually to him.

Watching these old clips is hard. Her personality is so cancerous. There is a strange alchemy to her stage persona. She’s seems so thirsty for attention but also sneering and resentful of those who have it. She seems more refined and confident today. She might be a stealth softie but she promoted herself with a lot of cheap cynicism, and she’s not always witty enough to pull it off. I suspect she’s been handed her head by other more earnest performers and probably agents, too. Resentment really sours relationships and causes people to simply retreat. She’s “ghostable”, the sort of person who makes people wince when they learn she’s around. I hope it’s an act. It has to be.

I think you are overthinking her. She seems to have friends for years based on her conversations on Sandyland. She was probably insufferable and full of herself in her youth but she also had to be tough considering the field she was in. I believe a lot of it is/was a defense mechanism.

Sandyland Is unlistenable.

She is so full of self-loathing. I gave up on her years ago. Only came to this thread to see if she was different now. Nope.

She's not thrilled about being gay or Jewish, two things she's mentioned in her shows. Plus there's issues with her dad, peaking early with King of Comedy, never being on the A list, her looks. She's got a lot of baggage, like all comedians. Good hair and makeup can't cover that up.

I'm kinda baffled reading all these comments. Me and most of the people I've known always held her up as an example of what everyone now ISN'T. We always felt like Bernhard was an arbiter of raw, undefinable showmanship and comic talent. She was just so good on her feet, over-the-top , almost surreal, and always made us howl. She was alike a ballsy borscht belt comic with an encyclopedia brain, transported through the acid space age, or something.

I remember in the very late 90's (or early 00's?) someone on the radio talking about Bernhard and I never forgot the line, and they said something like, "Sandra Bernhard would never happen in this Brittnefied age." Never forgot it. Nailed it.

I dunno... things change.

Is that TV special she did where she was having a party on a sound stage with people like Theresa Russell and Lypsinka and Tom Jones, and she kept going from group to group and talking to them? Does anyone remember this? Is it anywhere online?

Yes R254 and it was awful. It was an HBO special but Sandra is better just on stage with a band. She only sings 4 songs in her act so it isn't like she is trying to be a rock star. I agree with R253.

I had that on DVD, R254! Sandra used to sell them after her shows. I think it was called Sandra After Dark.

Thanks R255 R256 I'm on the hunt!

Swingers

Who the fuck would want to be friends with Madonna especially in this day and age. Talk about a dry, humorless cunt who takes herself too seriously. At least 30 years ago she was edgy and at least maintained a facade of being fun.

R258 Jesus I forgot about Vince Vaughn. What the fuck ever happened to him?

Minneapolis, 1983. Sandra came onstage, surveyed the audience and sneered. "You think you're all so cutting edge with your mohawks and safety pins, but you look like London in 1978."

Here you go R257

More Sandra After Dark clips.

Enjoy the playlist! Sandy After Dark wasn’t a great show, but had some fun moments.

[quote]Minneapolis, 1983. Sandra came onstage, surveyed the audience and sneered. "You think you're all so cutting edge with your mohawks and safety pins, but you look like London in 1978."

This is why she isn't very popular. People can sense her contempt for her paying audience -- and for her own career.

She’s not funny, she has no talent, and she’s hideous.

R266 Is Madonna.

Sad to say, but she has this irritating presence. You can always tell she is acting and she only enters her characters half way. Her singing is just ok, really uneven and in some cases more like melodic speech. When performing her own material, she looks to be parodying herself, if that’s possible. There is a smirking mediocrity to her that must be really tough to stomach, and tougher to manage, represent, promote and sell as a form of creative output. She is unusual looking (some describe her as unfortunate looking). I think she is really striking and has great hair and skin. I hope that she is nice in real life. On camera she can be a screeching harridan and really surly and unpleasant. She seems mad at everything. Her epitaph might be something like “Wait! What about me?” She’s is actually very successful and shouldn’t have a chip on her shoulder. She comes off like the type of broad who has beef with God.

Reading your description of Bernhard, r268, I thought of another theatrical person who never stopped thinking she did not get her due: Elaine Stritch.

R268 This was well-written and interesting to read. But I think we're dealing with an apples and oranges situation here. You just described almost all the reasons I and everyone I've known to be a fan has always loved her.

Sandra Bernhard is very much the energy and mindset of the "punk" era, even if she has nothing to do with punk.

R271 Have you heard the songs she recorded with The Butthole Surfers? She used to hang out with them at The Viper Room in the 80's.

R270 That I can certainly understand. It makes sense how people can feel protective of a notable who is different from others. Her appeal is not implausible. We look for different qualities in performers we enjoy and champion. That’s a basic human ideal. I wrote r268 but really see and appreciate your point.