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How would YOU have ended THE GOLDEN GIRLS? Can you come up with a better finale than they did?

I suspect if Dorothy had stayed any longer she would have ended up killing Sophia.

by Anonymousreply 84May 15, 2020 3:22 AM

Betty White wakes up in bed and is told by Mary Richards to go back to sleep.

by Anonymousreply 1December 3, 2019 11:24 AM

Too obvious, R1.

by Anonymousreply 2December 3, 2019 11:29 AM

Why them? Why not me and Vivian?

by Anonymousreply 3December 3, 2019 11:30 AM

Sophia’s death and funeral.

by Anonymousreply 4December 3, 2019 11:35 AM

All four get married. Rose to Myles. Blanche to the Zipper King. Dorothy to Stan. Sophia to Burt Reynolds.

by Anonymousreply 5December 3, 2019 11:36 AM

Sophia's death would be too obvious a choice. Maybe Blanche, from untreated STIs. She goes stark raving mad from the syphilis, but the girls think it's just "the change", so no one makes her go to the doctor.

by Anonymousreply 6December 3, 2019 11:38 AM

Carbon monoxide poisoning.

by Anonymousreply 7December 3, 2019 11:39 AM

Moldavia is Miami. The rebel soldiers are gang members. And this time they all die.

by Anonymousreply 8December 3, 2019 11:39 AM

Geez, y’all act like I started the Civil War or something!

by Anonymousreply 9December 3, 2019 11:40 AM

With a dreadful but trademark flashback episode that ends with us finding out the flashbacks were stories being told years later by the ladies’ children. They’re retelling stories their mothers and grandmother had told them, and we find out that they all explicitly said frequently how much they loved their roommates.

Except one.

by Anonymousreply 10December 3, 2019 11:47 AM

There was always the sad question of, “What happens when there’s only one of us left?” So I would have written some sort of comical incident that killed all four of them simultaneously (maybe a hurricane if they hadn’t already done one a few episodes before). Then the last scene would be them in the afterlife, sitting around a table, talking and eating cheesecake as usual. That way, their story could technically live on for eternity.

by Anonymousreply 11December 3, 2019 12:14 PM

Murder Mystery Weekend gone awry. Meryl kills Blanche, Carl The Cheeseman kills Rose, Glen O'Brien kills Dorothy and Coco kills Sophia.

by Anonymousreply 12December 3, 2019 12:16 PM

Turns out they formed a tontine years earlier and someone is picking them off one by one to get to the treasure!

by Anonymousreply 13December 3, 2019 12:17 PM

Golden Girls ended well. Bea Arthur was a boss.

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by Anonymousreply 14December 3, 2019 12:43 PM

Act 1: The show opens on Sophia's funeral. You show clips of the past, and the church as packed with guest stars. The second act would be "The Ghost of Sophia" visiting each lady and just being Sophia. The final act would be the three ladies sitting on the lanai as Blanche gets ready to leave for a date, Rose is telling one last St. Olaf story, and maybe throw in a scene of Dorothy hitting Rose on the head with the paper as that classic final act break sting plays. The end. And the final credits would be the ladies all taking a bow.

The point of the episode would be that life goes on and that these three ladies were going to keep on living.

by Anonymousreply 15December 3, 2019 12:58 PM

IT DIDN'T END. It will continue forever.

And yes, I know....MARY!

by Anonymousreply 16December 3, 2019 1:02 PM

R11’s might be the best. Done right, I could see it being a legendary TV series finale.

by Anonymousreply 17December 3, 2019 2:50 PM

r17 There was a post here from one of our many GG threads years ago that simply said, "Wardrobe by Georgia-Pacific." I still laugh when I think about it.

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by Anonymousreply 18December 3, 2019 5:17 PM

Vickie Lawrence dressed as Thelma Harper comes walking into the house. "This is the perfect home for my retirement. Vinton, Naomi, get your asses in gear. Move these ladies out and me in!" Over the final credits runs the theme music for "Mama's Family."

by Anonymousreply 19December 3, 2019 5:26 PM

Quadruple wedding and they all go off separately with their new spouses.

by Anonymousreply 20December 3, 2019 5:30 PM

More toilet roll.

by Anonymousreply 21December 3, 2019 5:34 PM

I hated Sophie.

by Anonymousreply 22December 3, 2019 5:39 PM

The 4 of them sitting around the table eating cheesecake and singing the theme song.

by Anonymousreply 23December 3, 2019 5:43 PM

[quote]I hated Sophie.

She obviously hated you too. That's why she made the choice to give you away.

by Anonymousreply 24December 3, 2019 5:44 PM

R15 that was terrific!

by Anonymousreply 25December 3, 2019 6:30 PM

The episode would be how each of them would imagine what their own funerals would be like. After Sophias segment, we would find out hers was real.

by Anonymousreply 26December 3, 2019 6:41 PM

Wait, you can't kill off the old boot, she went onto Empty Nest!

by Anonymousreply 27December 3, 2019 6:46 PM

What if Sophia gets a pet alligator and then wakes up one morning to find the other girls gone?

by Anonymousreply 28December 3, 2019 6:54 PM

I sorta like the ending that R10 came up with. That's sort of moving.

by Anonymousreply 29December 3, 2019 8:55 PM

R29 😘

by Anonymousreply 30December 3, 2019 10:41 PM

Coco the gay cook bursts into the house and takes the four women out with a heavy duty machine gun.

by Anonymousreply 31December 3, 2019 10:45 PM

Dorothy and Lucas marry as planned and move to Atlanta with Sophia. Blanche sells the house and returns to Atlanta as well. Rose plans to move in with Kiersten but at the last second, the girls convince her to join them at Hollingsworth Manor. They buy a plantation, which they decide to turn into a B&B. They meet their decorators in the last scene - the gang from Sugarbakers.

by Anonymousreply 32December 4, 2019 12:46 AM

Dorothy wakes up next to Bill Macy. When he ridicules her dream of 3 roommates , she says "God'll get you for that, Walter".

by Anonymousreply 33December 4, 2019 1:27 AM

Bea wakes up to the bellow of Lotte Lenya, "Arthur, get your ass on stage before you miss your cue, you lazy dreamer. Nobody wants to see your ugly face and tall, thin, titless body on the television."

by Anonymousreply 34December 4, 2019 1:30 AM

Seems like the ending worked.

I wouldn't have had Sophia in The Golden Palace though. Replace her with a sarcastic, acerbic divorcee and financial backer played by Debbie Reynolds or maybe Cloris Leachman.

by Anonymousreply 35December 4, 2019 7:38 AM

"The Golden Girls" SUCKED, Rose.

by Anonymousreply 36December 4, 2019 8:35 AM

R36 = [italic]F(r)iends[/italic] fan projecting that show’s flaws onto shows that don’t suck,

by Anonymousreply 37December 4, 2019 10:53 AM

Sophia gets raped and murdered in the house while the girls were asleep. Turns out the house next door is a halfway house for sex offenders. But blanche thought it was a spring break house as the past few guys she had over were gentlemen and took her out to dinner before they fucked her.

by Anonymousreply 38December 4, 2019 11:14 AM

Sophia leaves her hot plate on and burns the house down, causing a rift between the girls. Dorothy decides to put her feeble mother back in Shady Pines. Rose reconnects with her old beach friends and moves in with them. Blanche returns to Hollingsworth Manor. Dorothy, distraught over what happened, gambles the last of her money away and jumps off the South Pointe Park Pier. Fade to black. The theme song plays acappella by the group who sang the Growing Pains theme song during the last season.

by Anonymousreply 39December 4, 2019 12:20 PM

I didn't see the ending, how on earth did did it end up?

by Anonymousreply 40December 4, 2019 1:50 PM

Was Bea so over the show by this point she didn't bother to protest wearing The Ugliest TV Wedding Dress Of All Time?

by Anonymousreply 41December 4, 2019 5:32 PM

They should have done a spin off variety show with Sid and Marty Krofft.

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by Anonymousreply 42December 4, 2019 5:57 PM

The island gets moved and they all reunite in a church in the afterlife.

by Anonymousreply 43December 4, 2019 6:10 PM

Dorothy is abducted by the same aliens who kidnapped Elvis, who then asks her, “OK bitch, what the hell did you do with my pork chop?”

by Anonymousreply 44December 4, 2019 7:17 PM

When Dorothy's being driven away in the limo with Leslie Nielsen she wips out her eight-incher...

by Anonymousreply 45December 4, 2019 7:56 PM

*whips

by Anonymousreply 46December 4, 2019 7:57 PM

They’re all packing and Dorothy breaks down crying. “I can’t!” she says. “I can’t leave!”

“Why, Dorothy?” Rose asks. “Are you sad?”

“Yes!” Dorothy says.

“Aww,” Blanche coos.

“Yes, yes! I am so sad to be leaving you! I can’t do it. Ma, hand me that box of tissues.”

Sophia hands the Kleenex box to Dorothy. She swats Rose over the head.

“No, you moron!” Dorothy says. “I can’t leave because I am SICK AND TIRED! I have chronic fatigue syndrome, you bitches, can’t you even remember two seasons ago?!”

by Anonymousreply 47December 4, 2019 8:06 PM

Sophia spikes the cheesecake with the liquid LSD and causes the girls to compress into a quantum singularity.

by Anonymousreply 48December 4, 2019 10:48 PM

They should have all taken off their wigs and revealed that they had been pre-op trans all along.

by Anonymousreply 49December 5, 2019 12:02 AM

Dorothy, Lucas and Sophia return to Atlanta. Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty join the cast of Designing Women as sparring partners for Dixie Carter and Alice Ghostley.

Delta Burke and Jean Smart join The Golden Girls as Blanche and Rose's new roommates and they battle for best slut and best airhead.

by Anonymousreply 50December 5, 2019 12:16 AM

Blanche dates and gets engaged to the guy who made her feel like a lady.

Rose dies during heart surgery.

Sophia and Dorothy agree to raise their younger, orphaned kids of Phil together after Angela gets killed in a drive by on the family trailer.

Dreyfus pees on Rose's traditional, scandanavian funeral pyre.

by Anonymousreply 51December 5, 2019 5:24 PM

They form a suicide pact.

by Anonymousreply 52December 5, 2019 5:26 PM

As they’re packing to move out, Rose grabs her arm and keels over.

Blanche cries, “Oh!”

Dorothy: “Ma! Call 911! She’s having another heart attack!”

Sophia laughs. Rose laughs. They reveal it was just a joke.

The psychic Bahamian maid emerges from the kitchen. She has predictions.

For Sophia: Your soul is the youngest of all four, but you will be cursed to die first!

For Blanche: Your talents will always be overlooked in favor of your sisters’!

For Dorothy: You! You will become a phenomenon of the collective consciousness!

Dorothy responds, “I will?! For what? For my wit? For my intellect? Will I write the great American novel?”

The psychic responds: “For your BIG OLD TITTIES!”

And finally, to Rose: “YOU. You, my dear, will outlive them all.”

All the ladies glance at one another, look at Rose with envy.

Rose scrunches up her nose and giggles. “I know,” she says. “Hehe. I’ll outlive all you bitches. As long as they keep making AZT!”

Freeze on Rose’s wicked, wild expression. Roll credits.

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by Anonymousreply 53December 5, 2019 5:34 PM

They all pitch in for a Powerball ticket and win.

Their new found fortune makes it so they can each afford their own place and don't have to live together anymore.

It turns out they all coincidentally buy condos in a new luxury high rise and will all be neighbors anyway.

by Anonymousreply 54December 5, 2019 5:35 PM

OJ Simpson, Bruce Jenner, Billy Dee Williams and Donald Trump knock on the door.

“Ohhhh,” Blanche says. “To what do we owe this pleasha, gentlemen?”

“We’ve come from the future,” they say. Arnold Schwarzenegger enters behind them with an automatic weapon.

The ladies huddle together. “Don’t shoot!” Sophia yells!

“In the future, I am an old woman,” Jenner says. “Call me Kait.”

“In the future,” Billy Dee says, “I am gender fluid.”

“In a few years,” OJ says, “they will accuse me of cutting my blonde trophy wife’s throat like a hog. I’m not saying I will have done it, but IF I did it—I’ll get away with it!”

“In the future,” Arnold says, “I am governor of California.”

The ladies look petrified. “And...what about you, Mr. Trump?”

“In the future, I am the president of the United States. I marry a mail-order bride. I fuck porn stars. I tell everyone I want to fuck my daughter. I serve the president of Russia.”

“We’ve heard enough!” Rose says.

All in unison, the ladies say SHOOT. Cut to black.

by Anonymousreply 55December 5, 2019 5:52 PM

Show Blanche, Dorothy and Rose being admitted to Shady Pines and then cut to Sophia in the accounting office handing over a check and saying "That'll keep them for the next few years, now time to get back to my husband." And she walks out eating Cracker Jack.

by Anonymousreply 56December 5, 2019 6:37 PM

How did that old bitch afford her rent?

by Anonymousreply 57December 5, 2019 6:57 PM

Trump get elected President and the girls all die ala mass suicide

by Anonymousreply 58December 5, 2019 7:08 PM

R58 See R56

by Anonymousreply 59December 5, 2019 7:08 PM

Here’s what the ladies themselves thought at the time.

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by Anonymousreply 60December 5, 2019 7:35 PM

They could do the last 4 episodes as a crossover with Six Feet Under:

Sophia is found in the Can, having suffered a stroke when taking a dump. Unfortunately, since they all have ensuites for some reason, she isn't found for 2 days.

Rose crashes the book-mobile into a group of middle-schoolers, having passed out at the wheel from a painkiller relapse.

At their joint funeral held at Fisher's crematorium, Blanche naturally seduces Nate (when he is crazy high) . Waking up the next morning and taking a rueful look at her saggy bits, Nate instinctively smothers her.

Dorothy is kidnapped by some renegade former students. When neither Stan nor the kids stomp up the €5000 ransom, they throw her in the ocean.

by Anonymousreply 61December 5, 2019 7:37 PM

Blanche is arrested for violating sodomy laws of the state of Florida which were still in effect in 1992.

by Anonymousreply 62December 5, 2019 7:48 PM

If one of the remaining 3 had a reason to move as well, that would have been reason for them all to split up thus end the show.

by Anonymousreply 63December 5, 2019 8:18 PM

Rose shits her way into amoebic dysentery after eating tainted cheesecake. Stan convinces her to file a class action suit against to the grocery store, and she wins, marries Miles, and they move back to St. Olaf to live on a farm together. Except the farm is owned by a cat who belonged to an old lady who died. The cat was her only friend.

by Anonymousreply 64December 5, 2019 8:34 PM

The ghost of Frieda Claxton haunts the dreams of the girl and each one after the other is being killed by Frieda Krueger, her real name. We learn at the end that 5150 Richmond Drive was actually 5150 Elmer Street.

by Anonymousreply 65December 5, 2019 8:37 PM

Blanche is arrested for sleeping with one of the Donaldson boys on his 18th birthday, so she has to prove it was legal by proving that it was already midnight on the day of his birth when they started making out.

by Anonymousreply 66December 5, 2019 8:39 PM

Who did Miles cheat on Rose with?

by Anonymousreply 67December 5, 2019 9:22 PM

Dorothy dies. Willie Nelson's hairbrush was involved.

by Anonymousreply 68December 5, 2019 10:53 PM

They were actually living on a reverse mortgage and get dump onto the street.

by Anonymousreply 69December 5, 2019 11:27 PM

I would have just aired 22 minutes of Count Bessie pecking at the piano.

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by Anonymousreply 70December 5, 2019 11:30 PM

hurricane.

by Anonymousreply 71December 5, 2019 11:31 PM

R67 Miles didn't cheat ,per se. The episode was from THE GOLDEN PALACE. Basically, Blanche saw the name 'Miles Webber' on an old guest register and assumed that Rose's Miles had been cheating on her there before they arrived. Turns out it was a different Miles Webber, but Miles admits to Rose that the reason he'd been distant lately is because he had fallen in love with a waitress he'd recently met. He wants to pursue that relationship, so he and Rose break up.

by Anonymousreply 72December 7, 2019 7:13 PM

Why didn’t he just make up another alias? For a college professor, that’s not a very bright thing to do.

by Anonymousreply 73December 7, 2019 7:29 PM

Was the waitress a lot younger and perkier than Rose? Did she get her raunchy portrait back from him?

by Anonymousreply 74December 7, 2019 8:19 PM

Silly queens! With a grease fire, of course.

by Anonymousreply 75December 8, 2019 9:19 AM

Was the house safe in the course of a fire? All 4 bedrooms only had one shared point of exit.

by Anonymousreply 76December 8, 2019 7:50 PM

It wasn't me!

by Anonymousreply 77December 13, 2019 4:55 AM

They should have built more to the finale by developing Lucas and Dorothy gradually.

by Anonymousreply 78December 13, 2019 5:45 PM

Act III of the finale actually says "two months later," implying there was some time to their relationship. They just chose not to show it.

At least season 7 had no Very Special Episodes or clip shows.

by Anonymousreply 79December 13, 2019 5:49 PM

Season 7 is one of my favorite seasons! Non-stop laughter!

by Anonymousreply 80December 13, 2019 6:38 PM

They should've move to upstate NY and opened an all girl's school.

by Anonymousreply 81December 13, 2019 8:00 PM

Kim Fong Toi runs over Sophia

by Anonymousreply 82May 15, 2020 1:06 AM

They should have kept going and introduced a funny, dry-witted older gay man to replace Dorothy as the new roommate. Moving to the hotel was a really dumb move.

by Anonymousreply 83May 15, 2020 1:46 AM

Blanche is mowed-down in a crosswalk and ends-up on life support. Her nephew, who holds her durable power of attorney and is the sole beneficiary of her estate, is in financial trouble from a gambling problem, and decides to pull the plug. After the funeral, he surprises the remaining three by serving eviction notices. After failing to raise the money to purchase the house, they split-up, have a huge fight over ownership of the remaining possessions, and never speak to each other again. If only.

by Anonymousreply 84May 15, 2020 3:22 AM
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