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Let's be Black Friday at a red state Walmart

I'm the greeter. I'll hate everybody in the world by the time I get my 5 minute lunch break.

by Anonymousreply 15November 30, 2019 12:09 AM

"by the time I get my 5 minute lunch break."

Should you live that long.

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by Anonymousreply 1November 19, 2019 7:29 PM

I’m the Meth circulating through all the customer’s systems.

by Anonymousreply 2November 19, 2019 7:36 PM

I'm the gunt.

by Anonymousreply 3November 19, 2019 8:58 PM

I’m the inevitable gunfire that follows a fistfight over an eight pack of tube socks.

by Anonymousreply 4November 19, 2019 9:10 PM

I'm the waste baskets in the women's restroom, overflowing with dirty diapers.

by Anonymousreply 5November 19, 2019 9:15 PM

Ah, such wit.

by Anonymousreply 6November 19, 2019 9:16 PM

I'm the sound of screaming children everywhere you look. You can't get away from me.

by Anonymousreply 7November 19, 2019 9:26 PM

I'm Aunt Pearleen. I was pushed through the plate glass door at the 3am opening. Hopefully, I'll be able to get out of the emergency room in time to get a cheap flat screen.

by Anonymousreply 8November 19, 2019 9:29 PM

I'm Chet. I served my country proudly on the homefront in 2 wars. I'm standing watch over the in store display of Don Jr's "Triggered" all weekend in case a Antifa snowflake tries to vandalize it. I don't trust the people who work here to do as good a job as I can because they could be snowflakes too.

by Anonymousreply 9November 19, 2019 9:36 PM

I'm the toy section. I'm going to look like I got hit with a meteor in 12 hours.

by Anonymousreply 10November 26, 2019 8:37 PM

I'm the glamorous Star Wars Instant Pot branded collection from Williams-Sonoma. Two to a customer, please!

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by Anonymousreply 11November 26, 2019 9:09 PM

Everybody knows die hard, red state deplorables can't afford Walmart. They do all of their shopping at Aaron's or Rent-a-Center.

by Anonymousreply 12November 26, 2019 10:10 PM

I'm the 240 pound grandma who screams that she should be at the front of the line because she's a Christian.

by Anonymousreply 13November 29, 2019 11:12 PM

I'm the Real Tree Camo jackets worn by many of the customers.

by Anonymousreply 14November 29, 2019 11:23 PM

I'm one of the door greeter's 13 missing teeth.

by Anonymousreply 15November 30, 2019 12:09 AM
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