How do you get out of a depression

Call your therapist is step 1.

psilocybin

R2. Really? Microdose or just regulaarly?

... cut a hole in a box... Step two, place your junk in that box!

Exercise.

Find a counselor, take fish oil, exercise and get a minimum of 15 minutes of direct sunlight a day.

The easiest way to do the last two is to take a walk outside when the sun is out. Studies have shown that fish oil, (I don't recall the amount but you can Google it) exercise, even a modest amount, and sunlight are as effective as antidepressants. I'm not saying you don't need antidepressants, I'm just putting that out there.

Good luck.

PS - has anyone tried that machine, Fischer something? It shocks the brain or something.

When anyone I mean anyone asks how you are tell the truth. Also distinguish between sad, discouraged, negativity, poor nutrition and deoression

Also, make yourself shower every day, and try to leave the house every day, if not, make yourself get out every other day. You don't need to look 22 to show your face in public, despite what you read here. Most of the people you will encounter are just trying to get through life, too.

These threads are tricky because no matter what some loon will always bust in here and start shrieking that no one here trying to help knows what it's like to be truly depressed, etc.

Get a dog! You will have another being to care for and take care of. You will have to walk him and the exercise will be good for you. And you will have unconditional love! I got a rescue from the pound that was about a year old and potty trained. It took him a couple of months to warm up to me because he had been through a lot. I freakin adore him now. And my Mom died and I inherited her older dog. So no matter how down I am (and I fight anxiety and depression and haven't found a medication to help), those dogs make me happy every day!

Step one is admitting you are depressed. Next schedule a therapy appointment. This alone can pull you out of it by making it real.

If you drink, taper off and try to stop completely. Your looks and mood will improve after a few weeks and continue to improve for months.

Step 1: Get out of bed.

Step 2: Use bathroom.

Step 3: Fix whatever you like to have when you wake up; water, juice, coffee

Step 4: Take a shower or a bath, brush teeth, moisturize if necessary, dry and style hair, put something clean and comfortable on

Step 5: Maybe take a little while to do what would like to do. Listen to some music, watch t.v., cruise the 'net, read the paper

Step 6: Make yourself a nice breakfast.

Step 7: If weather allows get out and go for a walk. Get your body moving. Breathe some fresh air. Maybe take care of some little chores; mail what needs to be mailed, return a DVD to the DVD rental place

Step 8: Pick up something you will enjoy for either lunch or dinner. You're not well right now; get some take-out or get something that is simple to make.

Step 9: Return home. Relax. Rest.

Step 10: Call a friend or a family member who you can talk to. Even if you just touch base with someone or have a few laughs.

You may still feel depressed but after these steps you may start to feel better.

If your depression is really bad make some calls and see if there is some kind of help or support for you; a free clinic, a doctor, a support group.

Take care of yourself, groom and bathe yourself, stay active, get out and get some fresh air. eat regularly. Go on YouTube and watch funny videos of your choosing so you can laugh a little and maybe feel a little better.

Hope you feel better soon OP.

well there is depression and then there is clinical depression.........

depressed for good reasons and depressed for no reason specifically....

if it's clinical, seek therapy and be okay with it, because it IS okay to do so..

otherwise, what works for me, is taking a shower and putting on some fresh clean comfortable clothes afterwords, it works wonders.. take a scenic drive, take a scenic walk, get a affectionate dog, ...

If you feel a dog would only add to your stress or create more anxiety then hold off on that OP. Don't get a dog unless you feel like you can take care of one.

Therapy and medication. Exercise is good.

Return a DVD to the DVD rental place?? Do I need a DVD and a time machine to do that?

I'm still trying to figure out the SAD light a friend borrowed me. Not sure it's going to help.

As I wash my dishes, I'll be following a plan, Till I see the brightness in ev'ry pot and pan. I am sure this point of view will ease the daily grind, So I'll keep repeating in my mind.

Look for the silver lining When e'er a cloud appears in the blue. Remember somewhere, the sun is shining And so the right thing to do is make it shine for you.

A heart, full of joy and gladness Will always banish sadness and strife So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.

Get a physical exam. Exercise. Spend time outside daily as weather permits. Take fish oil. Make sure you shower daily, brush your teeth, and wear clean clothes. Don’t eat junk. See a therapist. Take medication if needed. Make a list of tasks to be completed and do one or two a day.

I love dogs and mine are such a joy and support. However, if taking care of someone else is too much, skip that.

Take care of your personal grooming, head to toe. Get a haircut. Moisturize your face & wear sunscreen. Take a hot shower or bathe every, single day (wash your hair, too). Wear clean clothes (do laundry, take your stuff to the laundromat). Take care of your hands and feet.

When I'm depressed, I mildly poison my neighbor's yappy dog. Makes me smile every time!

LSD cheers me up when i fall into a depression. I am serious but make sure you get the right dose for you.

R16 I was merely giving an example of a small chore you could take care of on a walk. Sometimes getting things done, even little things, can make you feel better.

And, I will have you know that in my rather small town we do have a still-thriving Family Video store that rents out DVDs. So, no, R16, you do not need a time machine in order to return a rented DVD.

Eat a healthy diet OP and stay physically active.

You have to make exercise a priority.

Try aerobics, OP. It's what I do.

Put some interesting things on your calendar, so you have things to look forward to.

Snap out of it!

[quote]When anyone I mean anyone asks how you are tell the truth.

This is not good advice for anything. The types of reactions this could provoke could actually be harmful to a depressive. “How are you?” is a meaningless pleasantry meant to acknowledge another person. It is not an invitation to unload your problems every time.

“Anyone” cannot help your depression. Seek out trusted sources of support like close friends or family, and vent to them. Don’t unload on “anyone I mean anyone.” Other people have problems, too, which is a good thing to remember when you’re feeling like the world is stacked against you.

You forget your troubles and c'mon get happy OP.

Smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

Work out what sort of depression you have. If it's reactive depression, following a bereavement or job loss for example, then time is a great healer. Talking to a therapist or even an online forum aimed at depression will help.

If you have clinical depression, then medication may help but it can be difficult to find the right meds and the right dose. You have to do it though. Also make sure that you're suffering from depression and not suffering from something like bipolar. Lots of bipolar sufferers are wrongly diagnosed with depression because doctors don't ask the right questions.

Above all, knowledge is power. The more you know about your illness, the better you will be able to deal with it. Read everything you can and then some more. Don't expect your family and friends to be your counselors, they don't have the training and its not fair to ask them to play that role. Look into diet and exercise, get fresh air and sunshine when you can and never wallow. It's very easy to fall into the 'poor little me' aspect of feeling sorry for yourself.

Good luck.

Just put on a happy face, OP!

Depression is part of the reason I got a dog, and while it helps, it's not a cure. It does force me to get exercise, so if you try this get one large enough to enjoy long walks in all kinds of weather.

I also found yoga helpful for depression. I don't know why but it always improved my mood.

Where can I get psilocybin (am in Manhattan). This is urgent, for patient who failed ketamine treatment. Is it safe to buy from sellers on Twitter? Thank you.

Kill me

Hard exercise 5 mornings/week. Tire yourself out. This is the only thing that actually resolved my long-term (but relatively mild) depression.

Baby steps, OP. Every day do one thing that brings you a few steps closer to feeling better. Make a rue that every day you will take a shower, brush your teeth, and put on some clothes. Then go outside. Walk. Go to a store or a diner and speak to people. If you go to a store, you don't have to buy anything. Or go to the library. The thing is speak to other people.

Exercise. Sunshine. Therapy. Hard work. Medication as a last resort. Know that you’re not alone. Take one day at a time. x

Exercise. Sunshine. Therapy. Hard work. Medication as a last resort. Know that you’re not alone. Take one day at a time. x

I heard a coupl'a pixies talkin' about this problem once, OP. Apparently the solution is to listen for any bells ringing, and to get yourself some wings.

What R12 said. Also, obviously, see a therapist/doctor about it.

You must not let a day pass without going outside during daylight, talking to someone you like, brushing your teeth/washing yourself, changing into day clothes. Also It's important that you have three acceptable meals a day and that you drink enough water.

Those are you daily minimum chores. It might not cure you, but if you start skipping any of these, you'll feel far worse.

man, to those suffering,..I'm so so sorry. I feel your pain. Long story short. I put my career and continuing education on hold to help out with my siblings that I didn't grow up with.. They grew up privileged with my mum and dad...and it's like family mythology why I was raised by my Irish grandmother. She and I were such a pair. She was born into a wealthy family but, after her dad's death his "insert big american car name here" family booted her mum and 5 siblings. They grew up poor, all went on to do great things. My grandmother married the guy the family disapproved of (handsome dark hair and eyes...like black irish or a dark Swede) they called him a gypsy etc...come to find out his creepy brother, my mum's uncle was abusing her. It tore up their love affair, you know the against all odds thing. He moved home and made his brother wear a god ring that was a gift from my grandmother...he cursed it and he gave his brother and family a warning. His kids and wife were over, he became a drunk and died young....History repeats with my Mum's marriage, no sex abuse but, whack as fuck old country inlaws that wanted to control her money etc....Anyway, if anyone grew up Irish Catholic old country way....which is a combo of superstition, rituals, amulets, hagstones etc...she was a maid for the people that were umong the Kennedy crowd. I grew up at thier home as famly...and they kept my grandmother on becasue she was like family. (also, it might explain how this catholic/jew got so freaking crazy (me) Anyway, I guess being among that kind of scene I guess I might come accorss as "well bred". My grandmother lived into her 90s. I was in showbiz in the 90s and going to USC as well as working with project angel food.. I guess in the 90s young and beautiful in los angeles your bound to wind up with your dick in a guys mouth or vice versa....anyway, my siblings were fucking up. My dad left my Mom for a woman he met in rehab known as the "bj goddess" then her sexual abuse truama hit in her late 50s, I bought her and my special needs brother a big house, I had a west coast friend and some old friends here fix my brothers' situation....My mom was taken advantage of....she was always wanting family around...she raised my brothers kids pretty much. She kept getting sick. I am ballsy like my grandmother so I could always push her to keep going....she would get better, and not long after my grandmother passed my mom's brain went from on the beach normal to way out in a shark infested alzheihrers disease progression in less than a year. I had my right foot rebuilt....I shattered it. My dad died while I was visiting him in the hospital. My brother didn't want me among family and after 24hrs with my dad at night I clipped my walking cast off...and he runs with it....I stand and the screws go through my foot. All this time my mom has been calling police claiming I've been dealing drugs out of my bedroom window. And shit got more and more insane, she would push me down stairs, she would push me out of moving cars....my family knew her diagnosis but kept it from me for a year. I left a big job to care for her...they let her drive. They blamed her alzheimers on me. She started saying shit to me that I never wanted her to feel badly about when she would ultimately die, you know,...things you dont say to your son. She died unexpectedly of a massive stroke right in front of me. My beautiful, young Mum. So fraglie....and in the 3 months before she died she kept calling me as soon as I would leave with apologies and sorrow and guilt...no matter what I did...she kept forgetting, hey, mum...it's me....i never left you...things are cool. It's almost a year....and I find out what my siblings have been up to. While her brain was weak she was drawing funds from my retirement. I had quite a bit but, I paid off my brothers bills and his mortgage twice...now they had my special needs brother but a 2 bedroom luxury highrise condo.....I'm dealing with lawyers and they taught me something I never thought I'd know....how to hate more

...continued My heart is broken....and just when I start to have a good day.....I spiral down. I see a shrink once a week. I just started with a gay centered community health organization here. You know, specializing in gay guys and their fucking weird families. I have a partner of 12 years....He's not an actor or a lawyer.....he's a poor Irish guy from the inner city....I've traveled everywhere with him to see the world again through his eyes....life used to be really good. It's the holidays....and little strange things are happening....like a wrapped bottle of my favorite cologne, carol burnett dvds, my mums perfume, my grandmother's soap.....It's in the air and things show up around me....Maybe I'm going crazy....but, this is comforting while I go crazy.

Nobody will read your wall of text r43/r44. Figure out how to make a paragraph break and a coherent, complete sentence.

I read it. Intersting. Thanks for sharing 43.

I want to die

R47, please try to stick around for a while longer. Dying is not reversible. Just postpone it for a while, OK? We're here. Maybe we can talk it through with you and figure something out.

My depression has been so bad lately that I haven’t been able to get out of bed for the last two days. Just getting to the bathroom and back takes all I’ve got.

Listen to cheerful classic music and/or a lighthearted audiobook. Both these things help get me out of my head.

I'm sorry R47. That's a horrible place to be. I wish I had the right thing to say but when it has gotten that bad...

Wish I could help.

Depression is like that, isn't it R49?

There are days when you just have to push yourself and then there are times when you just cannot push yourself.

I hope you'll take some of this advice. Get up, take a shower, put on some clean clothes, eat something, go for a walk, accomplish a few tasks.

Sometimes you don't want to do that because you know you'll go up a few notches from the abyss up to just feeling generally miserable.

But, I hope you can find within yourself to start climbing out. Look for outside help if you can find it.

Depression is a killer R47. Depression can be fatal. Please seek help. Whether it is just finding someone to talk to, reaching out to a professional, finding your motivation, I hope you can recover from this.

R47 Call someone. Your friends, your family, anyone. Or go see your doctor. Do not stay alone.

Listen to these people. There's a ton of wisdom in these responses. Whatever you do, do NOT try to conquer this alone. When I was 24, I sank into a nightmarish depression. There had been a couple of deaths regarding people I was close to plus a few other occurrences in my life that all came too fast and too close together. I spent the better part of a year in hell. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate, I didn't care if I ate or went hungry. I tried to keep it hidden. I wanted to kill myself, but I lacked the nerve to do it. One night, I got up, went to the medicine cabinet to see what I could overdose on, and realized there wasn't a goddamned thing in the house that I could use to off myself, unless it was tylenol.

I eventually came out of it but very slowly. If it happened again, I'd get medical help. I wouldn't wish something like that on anyone.

Ok so a quick little timeout for mild depression (which worked for me) taking an NSAID or anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen.

The ibuprofen works to reduce inflammation probably caused by diet. Try eating healthier diet and avoiding gluten for awhile and see if there's any changes in mood.

The next thing is to make sure you are not Vitamin deficient. I learned I had horrible B and D deficiencies. So take a multivitamin especially if you're not getting D from the sun. Your body needs them to make those neurotransmitters function without lagging.

Another thing, excercise and being clean. Excercise helps me so much. I feel like I can meet challenges if the world. There must be something from evolution. Healthy, strong cavepeople could fight off animals and lazy data were right to be worried because they could not outrun and would be eaten. Something like that.

Take care of yourself bitch! Now get out there and do the advice! Do it or you're getting the hose!

Great thread!

1. Find out what the word ‘depression’ means - especially important if you aren’t aware of different types of depression, i.e: a) situational depression (due to loss of job, loved one, divorce, acute trauma) b) manic depression or bipolar disorder (mania followed by suddenly profound lows, suicidal ideation or self harm, such as cutting, anorexia, bulimia) c) what I have- clinical depression, caused by altering receptors in the brain which allow for normal, consistent, serotonin uptake, via drugs and/or alcohol, or caused by genes, or any other organic etiology that vary, or trauma).

2. You find out what type of depression you have, by seeking professional help from an actual psychiatrist, who will run a battery of tests, in order to determine what’s up.

3. If prescribed meds, take them. In order for most antidepressants to work, one must either significantly curtail consumption of alcohol and drugs, or become completely abstinent.

4. Get a decent therapist that has lots of experience, and can offer several modalities for treatment. Go to therapy regularly in order to address root causes.

5. Create a healing plan with said therapist and doctor treating you. Have a clear goal of what you want to overcome. If you think it’s just depression, and that it’s something as easily fixed as charging a car battery, or subscribe to naive yet well meaning ideas that your personal path to mental health is quickly fixed, or altered by following a few simple steps to overcome depression, you might set yourself up for unrealistic expectations and outcomes. Everyone does this differently. There’s no good way, or wrong way, or slow way, or fast way. It really is, what it is (to you).

6. Sit in sunshine. Get sufficient sleep. Eat well. Exercise. Yoga, meditation, gardening, knitting (lol), whatever.

7. Make an effort to clean, run errands, get out and about, and look like you bathed (best achieved by bathing). Easy.

8. Surround yourself with supportive people who aren’t judging you, pressuring you, or attempting to hold you back. This is especially relevant when dealing with family members who are toxic and dysfunctional. They, themselves, aren’t necessarily trying to intentionally hurt you. But understand that as soon as you make a real and authentic attempt to heal, grow, move forward, and create strong, healthy boundaries, some might and likely will become very threatened, scared, and angry. They will project these feelings on to you, irrational or not, and will do everything possible to not allow you to disrupt the status quo. Have compassion, and be ready to be the bigger person, a LOT. Keep it pushing. Your therapist and you created a goal, and keeping your eyes on that, helps.

9. Here’s what I believe is the single most important step, after admitting there’s a problem: do not lie to yourself, because self awareness is imperative for change. I have done everything humanly possible to overcome depression in ways that allowed me to have amazing and fantastic results. These results were all superficial, and had nothing to do with addressing why I am depressed. I’ve done the whole she-bang. Great job, nice or trendy neighborhood, nice furniture, art on walls, nice car, beautiful and expensive clothing, tons of exercise, resulting in a great looking body, hot boyfriend, tons of social events, and staying busy, organized, and highly productive. Stayed sober through it all, too.

Imagine my surprise when I realized that I had spent years upon years, and considerable amounts of money, on creating a life for myself that was teetering on the edge of collapse down a steep cliff, because I never took care of the real shit that needed to be taken care of. As soon as adversity hit me and my good life, I hit the floor. It’s a huge disservice to oneself if one doesn’t recognize and accept the fact that this superficial approach to “fixing” oneself, is pre-wired in our DNA. It is how we stayed alive when we were hunting or hiding from wildebeests, and we haven’t evolved from the instinct to survive. We are programmed from birth to address all external factors in our environments, in order to stay alive. We will do the same thing, when injured, or addressing our health, mental, or physical. We will indeed choose the easier softer way, because that’s exactly what are brains tell us to do.

Superficial approaches in order to achieve long term, successful, positive, sustained outcomes in mental health, specifically clinical depression, do NOT work for me. Just via observation, they don’t work well for others, either. This is why I relapsed repeatedly, and this is why I didn’t get better, previously. Fortunately, I now know that this is the norm, rather than the exception, and am now much more aware of my cognitive biases and invisible traps I set for myself, which I wasn’t aware of previously. This is where a good and qualified therapist comes in handy. You just don’t know, until you know, and you generally know, if and when someone clues you in.

Good luck to us all. One day at a time.

Yes, one day at a time!

Watch some good shitty tv too!

Get some PILLS!!

Seriously , I started jogging/brisk walking around my neighborhood.

Stay away from carbs, which control blood sugar. When sugar drops, we become irritated and sad. 70% of admissions to mental health facilities have a blood sugar imbalance.

R47, I agree with your statement. I want to die also. I wish they would allow us who do want to die to escape our years of pain the right of death with dignity. If you've tried every single drug and treatment for (y)our clinical depression and NOTHING worked at all, then we should be allowed to go in a righteous way versus in a horrible way.

I've been depressed for so long that I want to - probably will eventually will - give up. I've tried everything and it just didn't work. And people that once were around me now stay away from me or don't answer my calls or texts when I do need them to let them know I won't be here, like preparing what I think is an overdose of something big enough to kill me. They ignore me because they say my mood brings them down, which I guess I understand. I don't really care anymore at this point. The next attempt I make, I'm just not going to tell anyone beforehand and write no note. I'm hurt just as much as they would be if I'm gone.

Op, best advice given to me was get up, shower, get dressed and step outside the door. Once you get that far it is easier to do outside things but however hard you find it, do those four things even if you do nothing else.

Go on Grindr and find yourself a hot twink to hook up with.

I notice that Americans, Canadians, and some Europeans from the West, North, and East often tend to be more prone to stress and depression. I think a lot of this has to do with their diet and how their lives are structured. Mediterraneans seem a lot more in tuned and relaxed.

It can get better. I've been depressed and suicidal for about 15 years, and I'm finally feeling better and stable. I used to hurt myself and go out at night to go on the bridge next to my apartment, but never had the guts to jump. I'm glad I didn't.

I think my job helped me a lot, because if I don't get up and go to work, other people are going to suffer. When I didn't care what happened to me, I didn't want other people to pay for my bad decisions, and that's what kept me moving.

Can you find something that will make you feel useful? Maybe volunteering in an animal shelter? While the idea of doing things might feel impossible at the beginning, once you have started it will get easier.

Excluding the Greeks, Balkans, and some Southern Italians.

R49 if you get up to go to the bathroom, trick yourself into splashing cold water on your face, then brushing your teeth. If you can get that far, cut the shower on and take a shower. Once you've taken a shower, throw some clothes on and go outside. Now, if you live in a colder climate you're lucky. At this time of year you can wear any damned thing under a coat.

Has anyone here tried the Alpha-Stim cranial electrotherapy stimulation (CES) device? My husband’s psychiatrist recommended it yesterday for his anxiety and depression and said that he’s had pretty good success with it. It’s a bit pricey to just invest in blindly so I wanted to see if anyone here has had success with it. It’s not the same as the magnet thing.

You may want to get your thyroid checked OP. A low functioning thyroid can result in fatigue and anxiety. Medication will set that right in no time.

R63 This sounds like a chronic condition for you. And that is hell to live with. Have you tried committing to an anti-depressant regimen? Anti-depressants do not help everyone, not everyone responds to them. But people who have taken them consistently have reported a change in how they feel. I think it can be over the course of 6 to 8 months. Have you ever tried this R63?

Belt, door knob, body weight.

You're welcome.

R72, yeah, I've been on every single antidepressant there is. Every SSRI, SNRI, TCA, TeCA...the only ones I have not tried are MAOIs and that's because no doctor will write them if you have other meds that will interact with it and/or you can't give up tyramine-related foods. Honestly, the side effect of feeling hot on MAOI makes them not appealing to me because I'm a furnace all the damn time throughout the year.

The longest antidepressant regimen I have been/am on is: imipramine, mirtazapine, bupropion, dextroamphetamine, and clonazepam as needed. This has worked over the past year or two, but it still doesn't take away the suicidal ideations and/or thoughts.

Fuck you, R73

Well said R75.

R63 / R74 I'm sorry they didn't work for you. I guess some types of depression are known as being unipolar depression, or major depressive disorder, and it can be resistant to drug therapy.

I'm sorry for the pain you are dealing with R63 / R74. No way around it, it's a bitch.

It is times like these that I wish I were a billionaire and that I could help people with their problems and that I could buy a beautiful, peaceful island for all of us depressives to live.

Truly wishing you the best R63 / R74.

It’s really hard for me to deal with being in public. I’m in a violent major city.

Chicago? Detroit?

Stop jacking off. It really does make u feel better

How about Ketamine, those of you poor souls who have been suffering so long? It's not covered by insurance but a lot of people respond in about three sessions and do not relapse into depression.

Ketamine

You snowflakes at R75 and R76 need to go back outside and read the fucking sign over the door.

Exercise

R78 Yeah. Living in a big city with a high crime rate can make it really difficult to go out for a walk. Maybe you can try an indoor exercise regimen and try sitting by your window for fresh air.

If there is a gym nearby you can try that. Maybe there is a safe space where you can walk and get out a bit.

Being in a major depression while living in a big, dangerous city is a terrible feeling. Is there any way you can get out of the city for a while? Make reservations somewhere and just get away? Even if you have to go by yourself. (You may even decide that leaving the city for good would be very beneficial to your mental health.)

See a good therapist. I honestly think everyone should. There's such value to opening up to someone who will keep what you said confidential and whose only relation to you is to help you improve some part of your life.

Read Feeling Good by David Burns.

For those here who are suicidal, please do anything and everything before giving up.

Ketamine, Ahuyasca, micro dosing LSD, whatever it takes.

There are doctors in Canada that will pursue alternative treatments, when all else has failed.

Here’s Dr. Gabor Mate on treating depression with alternative medicine, also, please check out his talk on healing trauma, addiction, etc.

This guy’s shit saved my life. He allowed me an opportunity to view this from a lens not offered in American Psychiatry, and he has concise answers to questions never even asked by doctors here on the states.

His YouTube channel is fantastic.

His YouTube channel:

He’s hot. I’ll watch

Kinda long, but can be watched in intervals, if necessary.

I’ve listened to this via a podcast while driving. Really pleased to have found the vid, & wanted to share it with y’all.

Xoloft did wonders for me and I am afraid of drugs in general. Though mine was more OCD than true depression. Don't try to be a hero. Modern medicine is a godsend when you use it for what it is meant to be used for.

R77, I really want to do ECT to see if it works. I'm not really caring about losing my memory because all I have are bad ones, honestly. I've never been truly happy and free in my 26 years here on Earth. I was literally bullied in kindergarten because I knew I was gay then, possibly before. Add that to the fact that I'm black...being black and gay is terrible. It's already bad enough that if your skin isn't white, you get treated sometimes like a lower class, but to be gay too? You're suddenly subhuman. It hurts...every day it hurts. So I don't mind taking a chance to lose any memories.

I will admit and say though, ketamine treatments did work a little bit, but of course, ketamine makes everyone feel good, save for those who can't handle their shit on downers. I wanted the doctor I saw to write me a Rx for ketamine that I could inject myself so instead of being at his office for an hour, I could be at home and in my bed for an hour instead, but he accused me of wanting that to potentially abuse it or give it to someone. I understood his reasoning, so I didn't push it with him. I haven't seen him in a while though. He charges other people for coming in for the ketamine treatment, but he has never ever charged me. I think it's because he knows how bad I'm hurting inside and wanting to die, and with us being Facebook friends, he sees my posts about wanting to die and wants to help. I appreciate his help - truly I do - but...why can't I have the right to die with dignity like people who have cancer and are on their way out of here? My level of depression is equal to their diagnosis of cancer - it's spreading slowly and will eventually kill me, just like lung cancer will eventually kill a smoker. I think that if I have tried every drug out there, had no success, and physicians are scared to prescribe the real happy medicines that make you feel good, then I should be allowed to end my life to ensure I don't mess up someone else's. I should be able to end my life to reduce the medical burden of taking care of me, because my healthcare costs are going to go only higher as I search for a medicine that works. I should be able to end my severe aches and pains.

R92

Dude. I feel for you. Seriously, try some new medicine. It's not you, it's just chemistry in your brain that's fucked up. And don't feel guilty, ever.

R92, also, allow to to say this, from my own experiences: R93 is correct. It isn’t you.

Currently, you’re walking through life with a pair of glasses on that you cannot remove, for reasons only a trained professional could assess. However, those glasses make your eyes see everything with a vision that is distorted.

What you are experiencing, feeling, perceiving is real, because it is what you see. If you could somehow find a way to remove those glasses, or alter the lenses, your reality will change, because your perception changed.

Depending on the causes of your depression, you might be able to alter that perception.

Personally, I have experienced depression to the point of thinking I would be better off no longer here. And though I didn’t necessarily want to commit suicide, I often wished for death, because it was a better option than being severely depressed.

Once I got treatment that actually worked, I looked back at the times I felt profoundly hopeless and self destructive, and was really grateful that I made it through to a different perspective due to treatment. And I also recognized that what I felt was temporary, transient, and not necessarily fixed in place forever.

Pills alone help immensely, but aren’t the final and only solution for people who have clinical, chronic depression. You are going to have to kinda parent yourself through it, and understand that you have to make choices you don’t feel like acting on, in order to make it through. It takes active and even robust participation from the logical you, in order to help the depressed you. You will have to choose who rules the roost, you, as a person who understands that there are solutions, or you, the person who is too depressed to explore and pursue solutions.

These two people live inside you, which is evident by your ability to have enough self awareness to describe your depression, or the depressed you.

Also, eventually, you will come to find that the depressed you and the logical you can coexist as one. As long as you identify your depression, you can seek successful and/or palliative treatments in order to manage it.

How do you micro dose mushrooms? I know someone who this worked for but I don’t know him well enough to ask about how to use.

Do not drink alcohol. I love a well mixed cocktail, but drinking only adds to depression..

[92] Talk to your physician about intranasal ketamine

walk 15 mins per day, non stop.. best to do in early morning. take Gelsemium homeopathic pellets for anxiety, find a nootropic supplement to clear your foggy thinking.

If your just struggling to get out of bed, try putting on something really funny to watch. Borat and Bruno helped me. Laughing at something just stupid got me out of bed.

Once motivated, I went to a mall to go buy something meaningless. Just interacting with the sales person and seeing people about and around living their lives got me a little more out of my head.

I don't have anyone in my life to talk to, so I found a therapist. It helped to just talk to someone. I didn't care that I was just paying for a friend, but having someone to give support and make recommendations on lifestyle changes and thought processes helped. Find a connection in your community will help too. You may a lot of failed attempts, but there are people out there who you can make good connections with.

Talk to your doctor about a medication. It took me years to find one that helps about 80% without having any major side effects. There is something out there that will help (may not be 100%) but can make life more tolerable.

I'm sorry that you are facing this and know that you are not alone. After life long depression and a major depressive event, I'm doing better and making changes to have a much more fulfilling life. We only get one chance at this and soon enough if it'll be over - just try to change as much in your life that you have control over to make it better.

I guess whatever I'm doing - don't do: lay around on the couch and watch TV, chatting online but not actually interacting in the real world and then feel lonely. It's getting worse as I get older.

Try to double or triple your laughter =

OP, how are you doing?

Bump

R102. OP?