Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Anyone a felon?

Serious question though I will appreciate the snarky replies in the spirit they were intended.

I was convicted of a white collar crime about 8 years ago. It was the "lowest" level of a felony conviction, but it was still a felony.

I had my reasons at the time, which of course I now realize were moronic (drugs/alcohol/embezzlement). I cleaned up pretty quickly. I got probation, but still.

Through lucky "timing" I managed to get a good job (and keep it) between the time of being fired and this showing up on database searches.

I'm happy at my job, and not really looking to leave, but of course, a layoff can happen at any time. From what I recall, most employers search the past 7 years. Is that really true? Any HR professionals out there? I've seen the occasional job that I've been tempted to apply for, and I'll be honest if it comes up, but just curious.

I'm obviously thinking of jobs that don't involve money, but still pretty while collar.

by Anonymousreply 113November 24, 2019 8:08 AM

😍 You rang, OP ?

by Anonymousreply 1November 17, 2019 10:26 PM

California does have a law on the books that limit criminal background checks to the last seven years.

If you aren't in California, they are going to see it.

by Anonymousreply 2November 17, 2019 10:27 PM

You should actually write the woman who runs Ask A Manager.

Not sure how the reports work, whether they just check for recent convictions or for any.

by Anonymousreply 3November 17, 2019 10:29 PM

Spill the tea, OP.

What DID you DO ?

by Anonymousreply 4November 17, 2019 10:30 PM

I’ve committed felonies but have never been caught

by Anonymousreply 5November 17, 2019 10:30 PM

If you lie on an application, you can be terminated at any time. If you state you have not been convicted of a felony and have been, it would be grounds to be terminated.

Many jobs and industries cannot hire people with a felony conviction at any time. Those will check your entire background. Others are limited by felony convictions within x years and will limit their searches to that period. Do you research.

by Anonymousreply 6November 17, 2019 10:38 PM

Well, I haven't been officially charged.

Yet . . . . . . . !

by Anonymousreply 7November 17, 2019 10:39 PM

R7 keyword is ‘yet’

by Anonymousreply 8November 17, 2019 10:42 PM

I would argue R6 that no matter what, I can be fired at any time, for any reason, so I don't know if that is a concern. From what you say though, sounds like it would be worth a few hundred to an attorney to understand what can come up (as R2 mentions, this might vary heavily state by state, which I hadn't considered), if I was serious about applying for a job.

It is incredibly boring R4. I developed a drinking (and some drug) problem that far exceeded my income. To this day, I can't believe how much money I spent on drinking (and I went out - not at home), but it can be very expensive and it adds up. I was just an idiot. There is no other explanation.

Thanks (and thanks for future posters) who may have experience.

Thanks R3, I e-mailed her.

by Anonymousreply 9November 17, 2019 10:55 PM

It's all a bit much. For instance it is a federal felony to put an unstamped greetings card in your neighbor's mail box.

by Anonymousreply 10November 17, 2019 10:55 PM

I'm tryna think....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 11November 17, 2019 10:55 PM

Felon? OP, I’m typing moist just replying to you.

by Anonymousreply 12November 17, 2019 11:03 PM

Why don't you start applying for jobs now (even if you don't want to leave your current), go to interviews and see how they react when you drop the bomb about the felony. If you are otherwise qualified, then you will know.

by Anonymousreply 13November 17, 2019 11:07 PM

OP:....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 14November 17, 2019 11:13 PM

OP, Come to Jesus and all will be forgiven.

by Anonymousreply 15November 17, 2019 11:14 PM

OP, come ON Chasten and all will be filmed!

by Anonymousreply 16November 17, 2019 11:15 PM

I'd at least have the class to use makeup to cover up that ridiculous teardrop tattoo R14!

Pete isn't hiring R15.

That is a good suggestion R13. I will try it once and see how it goes.

by Anonymousreply 17November 17, 2019 11:16 PM

Some places will hire felons, but it really depends on what industry you're in and who you're working with.

Places that you can rule out would likely be government offices and anywhere where you're handling money (banking, insurance, trading, etc.)

by Anonymousreply 18November 17, 2019 11:18 PM

OP, what was prison sex like? Did you get "turnt out"? Were you someone's "prison bitch"? Do tell !!!!

by Anonymousreply 19November 17, 2019 11:36 PM

Embezzlement? And you think someone's going to hire you, OP??

Hahahahaha!

by Anonymousreply 20November 17, 2019 11:42 PM

OP can open his own shop: butcher, baker, candlestick maker? Other? Be your own man, OP, and fuck the disinclination to rehabilitate offenders.

by Anonymousreply 21November 17, 2019 11:46 PM

Hear! Hear! [R5]! I'm committing one as I type this.

by Anonymousreply 22November 17, 2019 11:53 PM

OP, not personally a felon, but I know a few things regarding felonies in the state of California, due to working in financial institutions (not banks-firms, but same rules apply).

Many felonies can be pleaded down to misdemeanors, especially minor drug charges. They can also be expunged if you weren’t able to plead down. If you have completed any probationary requirements, as well as the probation time dispensed to you by the judge, hire an attorney to file, and expunge. This will take you off the radar for most, but not all, background checks.

Certain careers will require in depth background checks. Finance, banking, medical field, pharmaceuticals, government and even insurance, go deeper than normal background checks. Any career that requires licensing, will also go in deep. For sure banking, finance, pharmacists, do FBI/DOJ background checks, because they can require licensing, handling drugs, and money. Anytime you work on those fields, or in certain positions in those fields, you must be bonded. Insurers will only bond after the potential hire or hire, passes all screenings.

Employers are willing to overlook drugs, depending on how long ago the charges took place. Theft, violence, homicide, weapons, sexual assaults and CP? Nope. Embezzlement? Nope. Corporations will hire a murderer, before they hire an embezzler.

Government security clearances are pretty self explanatory, surely. Even low level clearances run deep, and unlike the private sector, you might still be eligible for hire, depending on who you know, and whether or not they decide to make an exception for you.

Almost all fields except for medical and pharmacy, will hire you with a past DUI, IF it didn’t result in vehicular manslaughter, if there’s ONLY one, and if it’s been over 7 years. They can even hire you if it’s been less than 7 years, if HR agrees to get you through the door.

In finance and banking, they can, and in certain levels of hire, must, run periodic background checks on current employees. Tellers, managers, any employees that have Series 6 and over licensing, require periodic background checks, at least they do where I’ve worked.

Omitting previous and/or current felonies is grounds for immediate termination. If you get called into HR, and they find any issues, advise them that you will have your attorney contact them regarding these issues. They might not fire you under that condition, yet still might, once they get the letter of explanation from your attorney. If you are up for any promotions that require licensing, you MUST disclose the felony within the parameters of the law, and you will have to submit a letter of explanation to your HR department, and the board of licensing. If the board accepts your L.O.E., then it’s up to your company’s CEO, or company president, whether or not the opportunity for the promotion still stands. Their decision will be made on whatever their legal department recommends.

by Anonymousreply 23November 18, 2019 12:01 AM

I've ordered criminal background searches before. In my experience, when you obtain the search results, you obtain everything, not just the past 7 years or whatever. So, it may be an employer policy to disregard anything older than 7 years, but an old conviction will show up.

by Anonymousreply 24November 18, 2019 12:04 AM

If you get a felony expunged, can you say no on application that asks if you’ve ever been convicted?

by Anonymousreply 25November 18, 2019 12:11 AM

You can dance it out

by Anonymousreply 26November 18, 2019 12:14 AM

"Many felonies can be pleaded down to misdemeanors, especially minor drug charges. They can also be expunged if you weren’t able to plead down. If you have completed any probationary requirements, as well as the probation time dispensed to you by the judge, hire an attorney to file, and expunge."

I have never heard of this. You have to have been in a pre-trial Diversion program from the start (and completed it) to get it expunged in my state. They won't just expunge here after someone's been convicted.

by Anonymousreply 27November 18, 2019 12:16 AM

Years ago, I legally changed my middle and first name (just switched them around) and omitted it on a job application. I was young and dumb and thought they meant a last name change so I didn't disclose it. I was at the job almost 3 years and the new HR director ordered random background checks with a new and improved company and realized the issue and I got fired. Luckily I was able to sue and they settled out of court for a nice amount of money. It was very traumatic at the time.....Many people assume the worst unfortunately. My career took a good several years to get back on track because I needed to leave my profession to find work elsewhere.

by Anonymousreply 28November 18, 2019 12:46 AM

R25, not if working in banking, finance, insurance, pharma, or medical fields. Same for law enforcement, government, or for government contractors who usually require security clearances.

Because these sectors run FBI/DOJ checks, your prior felony will always show up, despite the expungement. If it was pleaded down to a misdemeanor, you’ll be OK, usually. Get a letter of explanation from your attorney. Let him manage anything and everything regarding documentation.

OP, what exactly were your charges? And what were your charges once all of your probationary requirements were met? Did you have multiple charges? If so, were any dropped, & which?

Drugs? Depends on what drugs, the amount of drugs, types of drugs, and whether or not they were packaged for distribution, or if distribution materials, like a scale, and plastic baggies, were involved. Also depends if you served time. Obviously, completing all probation requirements is a factor. They might consider you with a previous drug bust if you know someone with pull. Even so, attorneys and insurance companies will always have the final say.

Now, felonies involving money are a whole different matter. In my personal experience, I’ve never seen a person with a previous financial crime, get through the door of a investment banking firm, or a bank.

Embezzlement is almost ALWAYS a huge NOPE for potential hires, or current employees. It will come up in a FBI/DOJ screening Licensing boards can deny licensing you, regardless of passing exams, and almost every insurance company out there will refuse to bond you. Embezzlement isn’t petty theft, OP. You didn’t snag a pack of chewing gum. You premeditated the transfer of company funds from the possession of a company, into your possession. You were most likely in a position of trust, where you had access to monies which didn’t belong to you, yet ended up in your possession. You broke the company’s policies, and the law, knowingly and willingly. And no insurer gives a shit if you made financial restitution, or served time, probation, etc.

Corporate America will not and do not insure, nor bond, convicted thieves. Not trying to pass judgment on your situation, just explaining how it works. Find the person within your firm who has the most pull, and who likes you. See if they can grease some elbows on your behalf. Unfortunately, the final say comes from the insurer. If they say no, the no stands.

R27, it’s my understanding that Diversions Programs are usually offered for 1st time and/or lower level, non-violent offenders, and that the charges are pleaded down once diversion is completed by the defendant, resulting in a misdemeanor, rather than a felony charge. Hence, expungement isn’t necessary. And you’re correct, expungement is contingent upon completing any time to which the defendant has been sentenced, and/or upon completing probation.

OP, what industry are you in, and will you require a bond and/or a license?

by Anonymousreply 29November 18, 2019 1:05 AM

How bad is it to have a misdemeanor charge of petit larceny/shoplifting? How long does it last for background checks?

by Anonymousreply 30November 18, 2019 1:21 AM

What state, and what did your attorney plea on your behalf, R30?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 31November 18, 2019 1:32 AM

Interesting read, R23 / R29. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 32November 18, 2019 1:46 AM

I was convicted of Love in the First Degree.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 33November 18, 2019 2:19 AM

I have the perfect job for you, OP.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 34November 18, 2019 3:30 AM

I was in a similar situation and I got laid off. I got referred to a very experienced criminal defense attorney. The law in this area is a lot more nuanced as well as the whole background check industrial complex. The lawyer did a very full paper and computer background check on me and explained how some of the laws differ by state. My record was sort of different than how my PD had explained it to me. It was worth the 3 grand I paid the attorney. Knowledge is power. I just applied for everything I was qualified and eventually got a job at a mid sized company who told me they did a background check but the question at the app only said past seven years.

by Anonymousreply 35November 18, 2019 3:38 AM

Companies don't always do background checks. These days they are so expensive that sometimes they will only do sex offender registry checks. I've read a few stories about that on various sites, where people with criminal histories were missed because HR didn't do a check.

by Anonymousreply 36November 18, 2019 3:41 AM

A lot of HR reps are slackers who just want a warm body to fill the job.

by Anonymousreply 37November 18, 2019 3:43 AM

There are a lot of different kinds of background checks. They can vary a lot in exactly what they find.

by Anonymousreply 38November 18, 2019 4:03 AM

R31, Virginia. Pled guilty, paid a fine and did supervised community service.

Have not re-offended.

by Anonymousreply 39November 18, 2019 4:06 AM

[quote]people with criminal histories were missed because HR didn't do a check.

But they might later- my coworker was fired because she failed to disclose a felony. The HR dept. was being audited and followed up on incompleted background checks.

by Anonymousreply 40November 18, 2019 5:08 AM

HR MUST complete full background checks in all companies that require their employees to be licensed and/or bonded. No one gets the job without a background check in industries which require insurers to bond employees. These companies usually have plenty of people staffed in HR, and have full on, in house legal counsel. They’re paid to produce and sustain best industry practices, and to reduce risk. Risk aversion is all some of these suits work on, all day.

I promise you, if OP is applying for a job in specific sectors, a background check will be ran.

Lesson: practice risk aversion in your own, personal lives. Even if you leave a job that requires all of this shit, because you need a break, or whatever, eventually, you will either get back in that industry, or pursue something else. And unless you open up your own biz, chances are you will have a background check ran, when pursuing a job in a Fortune 500, etc.

Writing bad checks is a mistake that will follow you around forever, if anyone really wants to, or needs to look. It’s not fair, because we all make mistakes, & don’t go to jail, but one arrest can really fuck up future prospects.

Good luck, OP. If this gig doesn’t pan out, don’t let it define you. Go and carve out something else. Just be happy you’re not doing life behind bars, keep things in perspective, and keep it moving.

by Anonymousreply 41November 18, 2019 6:08 AM

But the ceo's son said he was 18

by Anonymousreply 42November 18, 2019 8:17 AM

[QUOTE] It’s not fair, because we all make mistakes

A mistake is when you make a right turn from the left hand lane. Shoplifting, drugs, EMBEZZLEMENT?

by Anonymousreply 43November 18, 2019 11:02 AM

I committed massive bank mortgage fraud to buy an apartment building, got away with it, was never one single day late with a payment and have always rented *exclusively* to needy seniors and disabled tenants at what is currently approx $600 per month below market value per unit which I don't tax deduct for fear of triggering an audit - though I know statutes are expired.

At inception, there was no way to finance this plan without faking it so I faked it. Faked the whole shebang. W2s, 1040s. Employment history. References. Top notch fraud. It was crazy, risky, and exhilarating. Statutes of limitations have since run out. As a result, several older and disabled people whom I've known for decades are able to make a life in an otherwise unaffordable city. In return, I live a relaxed existence as an eldegay of 54. I work when I need to which these days is few. We live quite frugally but comfortably. Would do again if I could get away with it. Burn after reading. 😜

by Anonymousreply 44November 18, 2019 1:08 PM

I had a felony expunged. I paid to have an FBI background check ran on myself, fingerprinted for it and everything. The FBI results showed nothing. Am I safe?

by Anonymousreply 45November 18, 2019 1:14 PM

I'm the shoplifter.

As for my actions, I know this doesn't excuse what I did but I had been a caretaker for a number of years for my mother and she eventually passed away with me in the room. I couldn't process her death and being totally alone and went on a very self-destructive streak. Cutting/injuring myself, attempted suicide, shoplifting food and small priced items, heavy drinking...I'm on mood stabilizers and three different antidepressants now and that has helped alot.

I do a lot of volunteer work now with helping rescue and fostering kittens, talk to other people who have committed petty crimes....in a way it was a wake up call to me.

by Anonymousreply 46November 18, 2019 1:47 PM

I love shoplifting. It is great to get a discount on things. and when you shoplift the discount is 100 per cent. Who can afford not to?

by Anonymousreply 47November 18, 2019 1:50 PM

LMAO R47!

by Anonymousreply 48November 18, 2019 1:52 PM

I left my wife and my little baby in Indiana in 1970, sadly the cops caught up with me.

by Anonymousreply 49November 18, 2019 1:55 PM

Fascinating country the USA. At least 25% of the population has been arrested at some point.

by Anonymousreply 50November 18, 2019 1:59 PM

Back when I worked in finance I had a coworker who was beloved by everyone in our office. This man was in his 30s and had two young children.

After being at the company for about 8 years he applied for a higher position since he needed more money after his second kid was born. A few weeks later, he found out he got the position. Since the promotion was a pretty big one for him, they ran a background check again ... and found a criminal charge from when he was 18 years old.

He stole a car. His parents turned him in. He was charged but only got community service thanks to the owner of the car.

Here's the thing: even though he told them that he had done this on his job application they suddenly decided that shouldn't be working in the new department or any department at all with us. They gave him a week to get it expunged.

He couldn't in time and he was fired.

by Anonymousreply 51November 18, 2019 2:43 PM

R51 You can’t even find an attorney and get the ball rolling in an expungement in a week!

by Anonymousreply 52November 18, 2019 3:05 PM

[quote]I committed massive bank mortgage fraud to buy an apartment building, got away with it, was never one single day late with a payment and have always rented *exclusively* to needy seniors and disabled tenants at what is currently approx $600 per month below market value per unit which I don't tax deduct for fear of triggering an audit - though I know statutes are expired.

Why would you think you could "deduct" anything? You're reporting the income you actually received. That's a built-in "deduction."

by Anonymousreply 53November 18, 2019 3:10 PM

The sad thing is that the current occupant of the White House has done things that are FAR worse and more harmful than anything mentioned in this thread, but no one seems to care.

by Anonymousreply 54November 18, 2019 3:11 PM

All my life I have been a scaredy-cat and afraid to break the law. Or to get into trouble at all. I don’t even speed.

Now flash to 2019 and the damn “president” and his “family” are all criminals and gangsters and thugs.

I feel like an idiot.

by Anonymousreply 55November 18, 2019 3:51 PM

R54 we don't know that. OP never said specifically what he did.

by Anonymousreply 56November 18, 2019 4:06 PM

This thread is dead without stories of PRISON SEX~!!!

by Anonymousreply 57November 18, 2019 4:25 PM

I’m always perplexed how people can do such risky crimes and have no remorse. R44 I commend you for helping others with your situation. Way to go. I do not condone crime.

by Anonymousreply 58November 18, 2019 9:06 PM

So many questions ... (and helpful suggestions)

I do not need a bondlicense or certification R23 and R29. I previously worked in payroll in SC, and now work in IT (though the IT back end of HR).

Thanks R51 and I am aware this is absolutely a "thing". I've gathered that my current employer does another background check when you hit the director level, so I will never apply (I don't know that I am "director" material, but I'm not going to find out).

I resolved my probation R29 easily. Just didn't drink and didn't do drugs and paid back the money. It was a lot but not like...an obscene amount (under $10K).

To sum it up, my drug and alcohol problem exceeded my income, so I transferred money to myself via payroll to pay for it. It really is that boring.

R57 (and others), I received probation. It was intrusive, but there was no

[quote]stories of PRISON SEX~!!!

Thanks for the suggestions/input.

by Anonymousreply 59November 18, 2019 11:57 PM

Off topic but it is nice to have a posting board that only has 50% sarcasm/bullshit answers (and I've been on DL for a while so I didn't expect anything "less").. I appreciate the honest replies as well as the humorous ones.

by Anonymousreply 60November 19, 2019 12:20 AM

[quote] I’m always perplexed how people can do such risky crimes and have no remorse. [R44] I commend you for helping others with your situation. Way to go. I do not condone crime.

Mrs Lopsided at R58: it's only a farthing on everyone's insurance policy, nothing to worry about.

by Anonymousreply 61November 19, 2019 12:27 AM

OP, if you were not thrown into the slammer and gang raped I doubt too many of us on DL are interested in your petty little problems.

by Anonymousreply 62November 19, 2019 12:34 AM

OP -- I'm "more" bothered" by your "arbitrary" and "senseless" use of quotation marks "than" I am bothered by your being a "felon."

by Anonymousreply 63November 19, 2019 12:38 AM

OP is merely an attention-seeker and you all fell for it. Well done OP, with an allegedly cynical audience who really are just saps.

by Anonymousreply 64November 19, 2019 12:42 AM

Point take R63 and you are right.

by Anonymousreply 65November 19, 2019 12:43 AM

[quote]I had a felony expunged. I paid to have an FBI background check ran on myself, fingerprinted for it and everything. The FBI results showed nothing. Am I safe?

Yes. Once something has been ordered “expunged” by a judge...it is permanently deleted and will not show up on a background check, even an FBI one. And yes, you can legally say “no” if asked if you have any convictions.

by Anonymousreply 66November 19, 2019 12:55 AM

Generally speaking, the trend today is that employers are doing less background checks... and some states are passing laws that limit what can be checked and that make it easier for people with past convictions to get them expunged.

Criminal justice reform is a hot button issue, and many of these background check policies are considered to be racially biased since so many minorities have criminal records (often based on drug offenses) that make it difficult for them to ever get employment.

Also, the good economy and low unemployment are making it difficult for employers in some industries to find qualified workers, so many are just choosing to not do background checks or ignore certain convictions that might show up.

by Anonymousreply 67November 19, 2019 1:03 AM

R58 I'm not being smarmy or sarcastic when I say I appreciate and respect honest people like you.

I did what I had to do to keep a roof over our heads and I stole not one red cent from any person or entity. I lied and exaggerated to trick a multi billion dollar lender into financing a home for older and disabled people. We live in a beautiful old neighborhood where we grew up that is now unobtainable for fixed income folks. I know my tenants are a delightful addition and valued members of our rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. I lied, cheated, committed fraud, was dishonest, dishonorable, deceitful and possibly immoral in some eyes.

Sorry.

Would. Do. Again.

by Anonymousreply 68November 19, 2019 1:09 AM

JP Morgan apparently is woke and will hire felons. Though federal banking regulations can mean certain positions are off limits.

But if understand correctly things put in works during Obama years, and ironically doubled down in DT's administration are loosening things up a bit when it comes to banking employment and those with criminal records.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 69November 19, 2019 1:12 AM

Will my micro penis show up on a deep background check?

by Anonymousreply 70November 19, 2019 1:49 AM

So misdemeanors are cool, felonies not so much?

by Anonymousreply 71November 19, 2019 2:28 AM

No, but many of the men I've sucked off were. Hung Black felons, to be frank. Making them cum is heaven.

So I guess for further commentary, I'll wait until someone starts a "Did you suck off a lot of Black felons" thread.

by Anonymousreply 72November 19, 2019 2:35 AM

R72 knows what makes a thread interesting

by Anonymousreply 73November 19, 2019 2:43 AM

Really OP, let's get to the meat. Were there any black, well hung felons involved in your situation or not?

by Anonymousreply 74November 19, 2019 2:46 AM

[quote]Will my micro penis show up on a deep background check?

Probably the first and only time your penis shared a sentence with the word "deep."

by Anonymousreply 75November 19, 2019 3:02 AM

The judge himself or herself does not expunge your record. The judge may authorize expungement, but there may be another step involved to actually get something wiped from your record. Ask your attorney.

by Anonymousreply 76November 19, 2019 3:12 AM

Yes I am a felon. My felony is so beyond yours OP. I eventually had it expunged so unless Trump and his assholes come looking for me I'm OK.

by Anonymousreply 77November 19, 2019 3:18 AM

Judges can only expunge records in states where the process exists by statue. New York among others does not allow expungement of criminal records per se (there is no statue nor mention in constitution giving courts or any one else said powers), but legislation signed by governor can give same benefit. Recently scores of low level pot offenses were wiped off people's records because state passed a new law decriminalizing small amounts.

Some states offer various ways to seal criminal records, which isn't the same thing. Often security/background checks at or above a certain level require listing of *all* criminal convictions. If records are sealed applicant must consent to their being unsealed.

by Anonymousreply 78November 19, 2019 3:47 AM

This thread needs a theme song, yes?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 79November 19, 2019 2:45 PM

r78 I'm pretty sure all states have "statues."

by Anonymousreply 80November 19, 2019 2:56 PM

I’m sure the Statue of Liberty can order an expungement.

by Anonymousreply 81November 19, 2019 2:58 PM

Is OP the one who stole the sapphire ring from a trick?

by Anonymousreply 82November 19, 2019 7:28 PM

R70 don’t worry Jeremy Renner we know!

by Anonymousreply 83November 20, 2019 1:23 AM

I knew this old rummy pharmacist who spent 18 years in jail for accidentally poisonin' a kid. He got out and nobody would hire him. I don't even want him in my joint. Whenever he comes in I shoot the tap in his face and everybody in the joint gets a kick out of it (except the pixies, of course).

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 84November 20, 2019 1:53 AM

R46

I'm crying right now. What you wrote...I get.

I started shoplifting because of...well, the same reasons you just gave. Same ones. I can't believe anyone has been here too. Your story is mine. And I never ever dreamed I would do that kind of thing - but I became angry.

Everything hurts so much. I'm alone. I spent years as a caregiver and now it's done. I just never thought in a million years anyone would understand what's been going on in my head lately.

I'm so sorry you were caught and punished. You've been punished enough.

I didn't intend to start shoplifting. I just felt like the world was a giant cruel joke. And I knew once I started it could become a habit...and it did. But I didn't care and pretty much wanted to be caught and confronted. I didn't care.

Someone else did though. I was fortunate to be warned in a caring way. I wish the same had happened for you.

I'm so sorry. She was lucky you have you, but I know you must be gutted. Thank you for writing what you did. I'll never meet you but I'm grateful to you. And I'm so sorry you hurt yourself. Please love yourself. Love the person who sacrificed to care for another human being. I'm sure you tried your best. Stay healthy.

Can I ask if you got counselling and which meds worked for you?

I've been...not so good. Trying to find a therapist but might need meds too. I don't know. Haven't hurt myself. It's crossed my mind. Maybe now, it won't anymore.

Be well. I mean that.

by Anonymousreply 85November 20, 2019 3:16 AM

Luvox, Abilify and Effexor, R85.

Went through some heavy counseling sessions and the therapist and psychiatrist even wrote letters to the judge for me.

I'm in a much better place now and I focus more on what is really important... friendships, my pets, family.

by Anonymousreply 86November 20, 2019 6:10 AM

Oops, forgot to sign as R46.

by Anonymousreply 87November 20, 2019 6:10 AM

Being a caretaker for a sick cat can be a lot of work.

by Anonymousreply 88November 20, 2019 12:54 PM

I'm too ashamed to talk about my dismeanours from many years ago.

by Anonymousreply 89November 21, 2019 4:58 AM

I was not convicted as a felon. But my misdemeanor crime back in 1977 of sticking my dick into a gloryhole where a police officer was on the other side motioning for me to do it has come back to haunt me later in life. Getting license for daycare began doing FBI checks in the nineties. It showed up, explanation and remorse given, licensing was allowed. Again, recently went for another job where licensing was an issue, and again, explanation and remorse given, and licensing was allowed. I even admitted to my crime during jury selection, as the crime was sexual in nature. While it's humiliating to have to deal with it, it's my cross to bear. I felt humiliated getting arrested for bathroom sex, and it derailed my passion of becoming a teacher. It even affected my self esteemed, even now as an elder gay. I feel remorse. Above comments like, I only embezzled under 10k, paid restitution do not seem the least remorseful.

by Anonymousreply 90November 21, 2019 9:19 AM

JFC, R90.

What a ridiculous society we live in.

Even that Larry Craig “Wide Stance” while inside a bathroom stall in an airport, scandal, was some of the dumbest shit ever.

I will never understand how legislating a criminalizing consensual sex, gay or otherwise, between adults, makes our society safer.

I have a friend who got arrested in the late 80s for pulling over in some town he was driving through, in order to take a piss. He’d never been there previously, and had no idea that he was pissing within a certain distance of a grade school.

Anyhow, a cop pulled up, spotted his wiener, & we all know the rest.

Poor guy had to go back there for court, multiple times and was eventually charged with indecent exposure, and some other shit, because he was unknowingly pissing near a school.

by Anonymousreply 91November 21, 2019 2:07 PM

OP, I was one of the lucky ones. I, too, embezzled, and was able to immediately pay restitution thanks to some generous family members. I was told I must either post a note of apology on all of my social media accounts or face prosecution. Of course, I made the announcement of my crime on social media. It was covered in the local news.

Two years later and I thank God every day that I am a free man (well, literally). Metaphorically, I'm a prisoner in my own mind. My remorse consumes me -- every single day, I think about what I did and the people I hurt. I'm in therapy and paying back the kind people who helped me. But I still can't forgive myself. I hope that someday I will.

In the meantime, I've ruined my once-good name. I had a well-paying job and now, I work a job that barely covers my living expenses. I decided a while ago that, having been given a second chance that I still feel I didn't deserve, I would do my best to do good for others -- not to try and selfishly make myself feel better, but because I believe that's why we are all put on this Earth. I don't want to further disrespect those I hurt by wasting my second chance. I'm now enjoying volunteering for a homeless shelter for women and children in my spare time, something I've always wanted to do in the first place.

I can't undo the things I did, but I can try to make the world a better place in the time I have left. In the meantime, the burden of guilt and shame is mine to carry.

OP, hugs to you. I cannot imagine what you've been through, and I hope life will get easier. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

by Anonymousreply 92November 21, 2019 3:46 PM

R92, question: why’d you do it? We’re you in massive debt or getting foreclosed on? Just curious. Not judging. Promise.

by Anonymousreply 93November 21, 2019 4:00 PM

Hi, R93. It was a combination of a couple of things -- medical bills *and* a spending addiction with which I've struggled my entire life. Thankfully, Debtors Anonymous exists, and that support group has been a godsend. People tend to scoff at the addiction part whenever I share that. Oh well.

I've always been bad with money but have managed to view it in a new, more positive way as something to be managed well and used wisely, not something to be wasted on frivolity.

by Anonymousreply 94November 21, 2019 4:12 PM

R44

MARY!

MARY!

and finally,

MAAARRRYYY!

by Anonymousreply 95November 21, 2019 6:14 PM

I have a friend that embezzled from his job. He worked at a college. I won't say more about where to protect him, but he dealt with the public and handled money (not student loans or anything like that).

The employer found out about it and he paid some restitution, but stopped after a while and somehow never got asked to pay any more. I believe the statue of limitations ran out ages ago. He's gone on to work at other positions, and has never done anything again. Not sure how he did that and missed the repercussions, but just luck.

I always felt bad for him. His parents were lovely people but neither one could follow a budget or live within their means. The mother was a real Auntie Mame.

by Anonymousreply 96November 21, 2019 6:18 PM

This thread is useless without hung Black felons.

by Anonymousreply 97November 23, 2019 2:44 PM

I'm going to start speaking out. A pilot here in Florida diddled a 15 year-old student and didn't even get prison time. After I'd spoke to him several times while he was still employed, he asked the question, "Why haven't you asked me about my court case?" I replied, "Because I have class." Of course he's caucasian.

Gen Xer

by Anonymousreply 98November 23, 2019 2:53 PM

Officially?

by Anonymousreply 99November 23, 2019 2:54 PM

R99, yes, I was freaking shocked while in bed watching the local news and saw his mugshot after he'd been arrested.

by Anonymousreply 100November 23, 2019 2:56 PM

Everyone knew he likes boys; I fixed him up with his boyfriend who'd just began college. I even knew a police office who got himself a job as a school resource officer because likes boys. I'm a private person with a photographic memory who doesn't trust anyone.

by Anonymousreply 101November 23, 2019 2:59 PM

R100 R101

who are you talking about?

by Anonymousreply 102November 23, 2019 4:01 PM

One strategy might be to show how you've paid your debt to society, that you've learned from the experience, and that you're taking measures to make sure it never happens again. Are you involved in an Alcoholics Anonymous program? By being involved, you're not only maintaining your own sobriety, but you're also mentoring others and helping them remain sober as well. Are you involved in multiple charities that help improve life for people in your community?

I think that society is too unforgiving towards people who've paid their debts. That said, I've known of a couple of people who were able to get government jobs with a felony on their records. The jobs didn't require any kind of clearance, though.

by Anonymousreply 103November 23, 2019 4:15 PM

R102, you know I can't post a name here or engage in gossip. I didn't reveal any facts that are confidential or that are not part of the public record.

by Anonymousreply 104November 23, 2019 4:17 PM

R104 No, that's not what I meant.

I couldn't tell if the comments posted between R98 and R101 were related to each other or not. There was no context to them and it looked like someone was having a conversation there so it was confusing, that's all I meant.

by Anonymousreply 105November 23, 2019 4:19 PM

R105, Sorry, my apologies. Yes, you're correct.

-98/101/104

by Anonymousreply 106November 23, 2019 4:45 PM

If you do request an expungement OP, please follow through and make sure that the expungement paperwork was filed at both state and federal levels.

The brother of a friend of mine was fired two weeks into a two-year fellowship with the federal government because he failed to disclose an arrest for marijuana from when he was 16. He was never even convicted of anything – the charges were dropped - and his arrest record was expunged. Apparently the people in charge of doing the expungement paperwork only filed it at the state level and never sent anything in to the FBI.

On his federal job application my friend’s brother said no to the question of “have you have a been arrested”, which is what is he had been doing for the previous 15 years. Only this time it was federal and the arrest showed up.

Two weeks into his job he was escorted from his office by security and was never allowed unaccompanied into a federal building again.

by Anonymousreply 107November 23, 2019 6:50 PM

R107, thanks for sharing. That was just wrong. Anything anyone did wrong as a minor should be expunged.

by Anonymousreply 108November 23, 2019 6:54 PM

All that for a little fucking weed at age 16?

Christ, we are one fucked up country.

by Anonymousreply 109November 23, 2019 7:03 PM

R109, that may be true, but NOBODY should be smoking weed at 16. That indicates a willingness to "go the wrong way."

by Anonymousreply 110November 23, 2019 7:14 PM

The problem was not the arrest and it was not the weed. The problem was that he had lied. If this person had told the truth on his application it actually would’ve been fine. That’s what’s so painful about him losing the job – it was entirely preventable.

by Anonymousreply 111November 23, 2019 9:21 PM

R110, are you a fan of music? Particularly anything that has massive airplay and popularity in the last 100 years?

Thank goodness a bunch of 16 year olds had a “willingness” to go the wrong way, or some of the best shit ever recorded may not exist. Lol!

That’s just me. I’m a huge fan of concert cellists. đŸŽ»

by Anonymousreply 112November 24, 2019 2:44 AM

R112, of course I'm a fan of music. I attended the symphony with a great friend, but I'm not a big classical fan. I like classic rock of the 1960s an 1970s although I wasn't even born in the former. You may be correct about statement 2! LOL

by Anonymousreply 113November 24, 2019 8:08 AM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!