My next door neighbour's son Joel asked me to volunteer at the water polo tournament next weekend.

Boring. Hasn't this one been done already?

So old.

No, R1, you must be thinking of someone else's post.

Gurl, unless your job includes making sure the all the speedos are the correct sizes and appropriately support all sizes of man meat as they strain to contain a pair of heavy balls and a teen boy's constantly semi-erect virginal rod, I'd pass.

"Joel says my duties at the tournament will consist of arranging transportation between the pool and the hotel as well as ensuring that the team members have access to nutritious meals."

Make sure all the guys get plenty of protein filled cum for truly nutritious and delicious meals.

Good riddance!

I volunteer to make sure everyone showers.

I hope the team punishes Joel for inviting his old pervy neighbor to join the trip by stripping him naked and throwing him into the pool and locking the entrance to the men's locker room. Joel will think twice about bringing a lecherous old queen to the meet.

My OP, you've been a wonderful influence on Joel. You're a giver, aren't you? Thank you for keeping us updated on Joel's progress and congratulations on being asked to be a volunteer in support of his team. They couldn't have found a more wholesome man. R8 just reminded me that the boys will need guidance in the locker room and hope you'll be there to keep an eye on things. I'm sure you'll take many candid pictures of Joel and his team, we can be sure of that. Perhaps you can post a few snaps after you return from the tournament. Please give Joel a warm hug from all of us at DL.

How did the surgery for Joel’s undescended testicle go?

-∞/10

Joel posted this pic on his insta asking if he should go to the doctor....

What will OP do when he finds Joels tied up with a dildo in his ass in the shower after the tournament?

When I first discovered this website I thought these were real. Oh naivety

Thank you, R9. I'll be sure to supervise locker room activities and forbid the boys from taking part in any roughhousing. Only proper, sportsman like behaviour will be tolerated under my watch!

[quote] my mother loves her as much as I do and she will be in good hands for while I'm away

This is an IMPOSTOR. Everyone knows Mitzi's human's mother hates Mitzi. Also, Mitzi's human never uses exclamation points.

0/10

What are you going on about, R16? My mother often looks after Mitzi when I go away, and I've often mentioned how much she loves her. As far as the exclamation points go, I'm very excited to be volunteering with Joel and his team.

I hope Mitzi starts her own thread about her life living with this perv and finally unburdens herself of the disgusting behavior she’s been forced to witness.

I've been posting about Joel here for over two years now, R17, and to prove I'm really his neighbour, feel free to ask me anything about Joel, Mitzi or myself.

R19. Is Joel, cut or uncut?

Bless you, R18. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the darkness is daydreaming about spilling all to my friends at Datalounge. Ohhh, the stories I could tell.

By the way, if anything should happen to me a dead-man’s switch will be triggered and all will be known. Even if my tormentor did understand, there would be no way for him to deactivate it from his GrandPad or Jitterbug.

Tell me all about Joel's house and family OP

Ask yourself now: Can you forgive her

If she begs you to?

And ask yourself: Can you even deliver

What she demands of you?

Or do you want revenge?

But that's childish, so childish....

Nice that you’re getting out of the house, dear.

And this is interesting because?

Did you take Joel to see a doctor to treat his anal warts? (that you gave to him)

That's wonderful OP! Make sure you share some of the pictures you take. I'm sure they will be wonderful!

I will, R27. I'm documenting as much as possible, including the days leading up to the trip. I might even pull my camera out tonight when Joel comes over to help me pack.

20? He's aging out on you, OP.

Why is Joel advertising on Grindr? What have you been teaching him OP?

OP, you should try to talk Joel's coach into allowing you to be a permanent volunteer assistant to the team. You could also help the coach see the benefits of that arrangement, and maybe he can help other coaches to see them also.

Joel should be spread eagle naked on the diving board for the damage he has done to the team for allowing such a perv to around

R32, my favorite position!

OP, how many men come to the tournament?

OP didn't even try to change the original post from whence this trope was stolen.

Joel's hardly a trope, R35.

R36, ROP , Joel’s NOT real!

r37 There's a Joel everywhere!

So, what do we think “Joel” looks like, DL? I imagine Jacob Elordi.

Also, Mitzi's human never defends himself from detractors like myself. FAKE FAKE FAKE.

This is what Joel looks like in my mind.

Is Joel the one who was supposed to be friends with Traylor and Auden? Or was that a different made up sexy twink neighbor?

Joel is already wearing a toupee (poor dear) and has back pimples

[quote] Not only did he turn 20

He' been about to turn 20 for the past 7 years.

Oh please. Joel takes his teeth out at night.

Incorrect, R44. I've been posting here about Joel since he turned 18, which was two years ago in August.

R39 and R41, I posted a picture of Joel on a previous thread. Trust that he's much more handsome than the "Joel" of your imaginations.

OP, why did Joel ask you specifically to volunteer?

Joel's your neighbor too, you ageist fuck.

r49 He has to get the word "son" in the title to give DLers the right mental image.

There’s nothing like neighbour boy.

Joel's neigbour is a recent Datalounge tradition. Show some respect, you yutzes.

I'd be willing to help out and you rely on me to turn a blind eye to any sexual assault allegations

[quote]So, what do we think “Joel” looks like, DL?

We’ve seen him. He’s a blond, tattoo-free mixture of Juliette Lewis and Bella Thorne standing on a beach in a black Speedo. He has a bulbous nose, big teeth, and squinty little eyes (although, since his eighteenth birthday, I’m sure he’s been extremely grateful for any obstruction to his vision they may provide).

OP could have chosen a better Joel.

How many Joel threads have there been? This is the first time I've seen one.

He is blond and tattoo free, and he does love Speedos, but he does not have a bulbous nose, squint eyes or big teeth, R54.

Joel is my next door neighbour's son, I didn't "choose" him, R54.

^ooodles

R55, did you just transfer here?

Is Joel cut or uncut?

OP, athletes like Joel need to learn the art of male grooming if they're to appear in public in a Speedo. Have you given him some lessons in what a man needs to do down there?

r58 No, I've been reading DL for about 12 years, but I let alot of threads just go by cuz they don't seem interesting. This is the first Joel thread I bothered to look at, and now I'm addicted! I want more!

Here's one, R61. You know how the search function can be. Let me see if I can find any others.

I think this will bring up a bunch more.

When was the first Joel thread?

r63 THANKS!

What is the DL consensus on Joel? From what I've read so far I wouldn't be surprised if everything about Joel was real, but he's only talked to the OP maybe 2 times in his life and everything the OP is posting about their friendship is fantasy.

Nah, Joel's neighbor is just a particularly good EST. Much like our sorely missed BILL TAYLOR. If he's real, I'll eat his Speedo.

What’s so hard to believe about a love affair between a 17-year-old Canadian athlete and a fey old man with a small dog?

OP has a small dog and longs for a17yo? Does he wear caftans too?

Here's an older Joel story.

OP does not “long for” Joel. They’re lovers.

After further research, I believe you, OP.

Of course to me, Joel looks like Robby B. Not the pasty boy with the bulbous nose you're trying to push.

[quote]he does not have a bulbous nose, squint eyes or big teeth

Let’s let the judges judge.

That's not me.

That is you, Joel. You’re not experiencing dizziness, confusion, and loss of memory again are you?

Please check yourself...you know...[italic]down there[/italic] and get back to us. We’re concerned.

You're a cutie, Joel! Love your Speedo.

Joel is considering moving to Prague after graduation and making adult films

r76 It looks like Joel has been doing that a while now.

Judging from R72's photo, one wonders: Is Joel in special ed? Does he have spina bifida?

There are places for runaway gays in big cities where Joel can find sanctuary, away from predatory queens like OP. Good luck to Joel I hope he make it.

I get the impression Joel is typically straight, attracted to OP alone among men.

Joel is stealing money from OP’s purse.

Joel wants to be a thespian when he graduates, does anyone have a contact for Ryan Murphy? Joel can pay his dues with flesh! Sorry OP, Times UP!

You are all so jealous of OP and want the succulent young Joel yourselves. You eldergays make sick, I tell you.

r83 I'm 25 and I don't believe the pic that was shown is actually Joel, since the real Joel (if there is one would be too creeped out to pose for OP if he was asked. The pic looked like a twink porn model.

Did the Ebay link give it away, r84?

That’s the photo posted by the Joel Troel at R64 in the thread below.

LOL I'm new to Joel

Does Joel take raw loads? Up his ass? Multiple loads?

Could never understand why Joel's neighbour decided on that particular picture to be the one of 'Joel'. Kind of a let down.

OP is Rudy Giuliani

I am a LADY and will not participate in OP's tawdry shenanigans any longer!!!!

Joel needs cash to escape his nasty neighbor....please start a gofund for him, somebody

Don’t be silly, r91. Joel gets plenty of cash from OP.

And even more cash from his tricks.

I get a feeling the OP pays Joel to leave his bedroom window wide open at night while he undresses for bed.

Joel just after swim practice

Joel needs your help, please donate

Joel is at the police station right now. He found the cameras. The cameras that have been there since he was a minor. Op, you’re going to jail.

OP, I hope that Vancouver is kinder to you than NYC was.

Joel is very sensitive to anyone insinuating that he is selling his body for cash or gifts, so please do not upset him. He reads DL too you know.

If he's not selling his body for cash and gifts, what is he selling it for?

Op, what is like to not believed or liked? 101 replies is not a thread success.

OP does Joel have any friends that he works out with while you supervise?

Would it have killed you to have at least posted a picture or link OP? Would it? I mean would that have really been so hard? Would it? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post? What's your problem? I mean really, what's your damn problem?

Joel likes to get off with the Osundario brothers when he is in Chicago. He is a sex pig in training.

I thought Joel's still a virgin.

I miss the Joel troll.

Reading old threads to reminisce. I hope he'll start a new thread telling us how he and Joel are celebrating Biden's win in Canada.