How do I stop my toddlers from outing their famous gay uncle?

The only way you stop yourself being outed is to be out.

Sorry but that's reality.

Ok R1, but this was supposed to be a speculation thread.

You don’t. Adults should never burden children with keeping their secrets. Deal with it if it happens. People possibly know anyway and just don’t say.

Well unless they say 'My uncle Cooper plays that and he sucks dick' I don't see how they're outing him.

Wow, before I scrolled down, and saw Slate, I was sure this was an EST!

Well perhaps if they had better names -- ones that real people have -- we could take this post a little more seriously.

Sterling Cooper. Extremely lowbrow clickbait on SLATE.

what is the point of these fake threads? this person really has issues and thinks it amusing....get a life, go outside and find a dick to suck, you can write about that and it will be a zillion times more interesting and fun

Put the toddlers on the black market and Sell the bastards .

R7 The letter writer forgot to mention that the famous athlete is married to Salvatore Romano.

Well done, r10. And well phrased.

R11 thanks !

Kill them.

Here's an idea: Tell your brother, Sterling, and his husband, Cooper, to be more brave. Sometimes life isn't about what you do solely for yourself - it's about what you do for the people who come after you. Modelling dignity, self-respect and bravery to multiple generations who come after you is more valuable that anything he can achieve in his profession. Plus, Cooper is making a selfish choice anyway, assuming his colleagues wouldn't respect and support him if they knew who he was - he's robbing them of their opportunity as well.

Mostly though, why would you want to wrangle your children into this web of deception? What are you teaching them? Sure, you can respect people's privacy but let's not pretend that's what's being asked for here - they're are being asked to maintain a cloak of deception, they're being taught not to stand up for themselves and, in this instance, that being gay is wrong and gay people aren't worth fighting for.

I question the validity of this scenario though (slate link not withstanding) because marriage licenses are legal. If he's married to Sterling then Cooper is already on the record as being in a same sex marriage. Any enterprising minds could figure that out in an afternoon.

OP: Call me.

Is it possible to be THAT closeted and married? Nobody knows? His teammates have no idea? His neighbors haven’t noticed? And he has a first name that is so distinctive that preschool teachers will immediately associate it with a specific professional athlete? And immediately understand that he isn’t “just” a family friend? And immediately call the National Enquirer?

Slate is so stupid.

ask Betty Draper for Carla's phone number. Carla knows how to keep those kids quiet and toe the party line.

out and proud and full of fun!

The Internet brims with such fake stories.

1. Token representative of his race. 2. Plays with a ball.

Any guesses? Football quarterback? Soccer?

Cooper has no business inflicting his cowardice and his closet on other people. Especially children.

What the hell kind of parent are you, OP, that you would think even for a moment that your small children could harm an adult by telling the truth? Teach your kids to tell the truth and expect the same of Cooper. If he gets harmed in the process, he's being harmed by the lies he is fomenting.

This situation must suck.

Fuck, I HATE HOMOPHOBIA!!!!

Anyhow, this won’t sound easy or fun, but everyone involved needs to come out if possible.

Look, observant people aren’t dumb. Believe it or not, most people probably already know. No one’s gonna hate someone because they love and marry a same sex partner. And if they do? FUCK ‘EM.

Seriously. Fuck anyone who’s got a problem with this.

Sending lots of love and support to Sterling & Coop.

how can you be gay and call people shameful for being in the closet? you guys are nuts. I agree with R3 though, you shouldn't really burden the children with it? what's the worst that would happen if they told someone? the public would probably never find out

[quote] "I don’t talk about my relationship with Cooper..."

It's his brother and brother-in-law, why does the author have a "relationship" with Cooper?

Jeremy Lin was the first ballplayer that came to mind.

Jeremy Lin has a very active foot fetish.....he basically likes to have a white man stand over him while he sucks and sniffs toes.

Jeremy Lin is a good guess

why r u guys suspecting Jeremy Lin?

because of the comment about his race: "he’s already sick of being seen as the token representative for his race."

Marriage is a public act - in most states, records of marriages and deaths are public record. If the guy was so closeted, I doubt he would risk getting a marriage license. Anyway, you can't have an expectation of privacy in this situation...

r30, I don't think the sports media is terribly interested in outing athletes. None of them want to talk about gay shit.

That doesn't matter. There will always be a lowbrow reporter looking to get clicks. Remember when that one guy tried to out Olympic athletes with Grindr?

Well, here’s the thing: When was the last time a toddler outed anyone?

Too late bitches. I sold the story to The Enquirer for 300 dollars and a pack of gluten free gummy bears.

R34 As long as they were gluten free. None of that glutenized shit for you, Brax