Chrissy Metz Reveals When Fans Can Expect Her Debut Country Album

"Sixteen Tons (and Whaddaya Get?)" -- Tennessee Ernie Ford

Something about big dump trucks.

"Red River Valley."

Wide Open Spaces by Dixie Chicks.

"Jambalaya" -- Hank Williams

"Chicken Fried" -- Zack Brown Band

"Please Past the Biscuits" -- Jimmy Dean

“Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Doughnuts”

My Love for you is as Big as Texas, and So's my Ass...

"When You Got Sleazy, I Git Greasy (At the Nearest KFC)"

Burgers and fries by Charley Pride.

I look forward to hearing her belt out "I said here's your one chance snack purse don't let me down, Here's your one chance snack purse don't let me down".

Stand By Your Ham

"I Shot the Sheriff (and then ate him)"

Jesus, Take the Wheel...So I Can Try Popeye's New Chicken Sandwich

‘She’ll be tumbling down the mountain’

R10 it’s a little different than that.

I remember it all very well lookin' back

It was the summer I turned size eighteen

We lived in a one room, rundown Shake Shack

On the outskirts of New Orleans

We didn't have money for rent, cause I spent it on food

To say the least we were hard panini pressed

Then Mama spent every last penny we had

To buy me a pranchin' dress

Mama washed and combed and curled my hair

And she painted my eyes and hooves then I stepped into a satin Pranchin' dress that had split on the side clean up to my big ol’ hip

It was red burlap trim and it fit me okay

Standin' back from the lookin' glass

There stood a mare where a half gown foal had stood

She said here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down Here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down

Mama dabbed a little bit of fly repellent on my neck And she kissed my cheek

Then I saw the tears wellin' up in her troubled eyes

When she started to speak She looked at a pitiful shack And then she looked at me and took a ragged neigh She said your Sire’s run off and I'm real sick

And the foal’s gonna starve to death

She handed me a heart shaped halter that said "To thine own self be true"

And I shivered as I watched a roach crawl across The hoof of my newly heel’d sho

It sounded like somebody else that was talkin' Askin' Mama what do I do

She said just be nice to the waiters Ranch’y And they'll be nice to you

She said here's your chance Ranch’y don't let me down

Here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down

Lord forgive me for what I do, but if you want out Well it's up to you

Now don't let me down you better start trottin' uptown

Well, that was the last time I saw my Ma The night I left that rickety shack The welfare people came and took the baby Mama died and I ain't been back

But the wheels of the horse trailer had started to turn And for me there was no way out And it wasn't very long 'til I knew exactly What my Mama's been talkin' about

I knew what I had to do but I made myself this solemn vow That I's gonna be a broodmare someday Though I don't know when or how

I couldn't see spending the rest of my life With my head hung down in shame you know I might have been born just fat white trash But Ranch’y was my name

Here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down Here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down

It wasn't very long after a benevolent stallion Took me off the street

And one week later I was pourin' his oats In a five stall barn suite

I charmed a Ring-a-Ding, a neapolitan And an occasional calico cat

Then I got me a Georgia pasture And an elegant townhouse cracker for patte

And I ain't too fat

Now in this world there's a lot of self-righteous hypocrite That would call me fat

And criticize Mama for turning me out No matter how little food we had But though I ain't had to worry 'bout nothin' For nigh on fifteen years I can still hear the desperation in my poor Mama's voice ringin' in my ear She said, here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down

Here's your one chance Ranch’y don't let me down Lord, forgive me for what I do But if you want out well it's up to you Now don't let me down Your Mama's gonna help you uptown I guess she did

Momma are you gonna eat the rolls? Tune from Momma he’s crazy’

She needs to save this one until she's lost a pound or fifty.

R15 wins. Y'all go home now. Thread done.

"Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed" -- Kinky Friedman

"Shoo-Fly Pie (and Apple Pan Dowdy)" -- Dinah Shore

Her whole thing is sad. She tells other women that it’s ok to be fat as long as you “love yourself”. These women will all die in 10 years because of their obesity. Fat acceptance is like saying terminal break cancer is ok. Sick and sad. This woman is promoting a death spiral.

"Pig in a Pen" (traditional)

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk

That girl is one hot Metz.

Is she a mezzo?

"Don't Fence Me In"

Her ex sings this one

Which country is she planning to eat?

Dosey - do around the Buffet.

Rawhide, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’

She’s actually on the Billboard Dance/Club chart with remixes of “I’m Standing With You”. I mean... really. We’re at a point in our world that we have dance mixes of Chrissy Metz.

'You Ain't Woman Enough (To Take My Ham)'

'Before He Eats'

'Harper Valley KFC'

'A Lesson in Eatin'

'I Never Promised You An Olive Garden'

'Coat of Many Acres'

'The Night the Chair Gave Out in Georgia'

'Levitate By Your Man'

'D-E-S-S-E-R-T'

'Appetizer No. 9'

'I Hope You Wheeze'

'Pantry Miner's Daughter'

'Whose Reinforced Bed Have Your Boots Been Under'

'She's in Love with the Pie'

'When Cardio-Fearin' Women Get the Blues'

'Need Food Now'

[R11] wins this thread - hams down!!

‘You Can’t Get Your Lunch Without a Gun’

It's not like this is the first fat lady to sing disco R32, nor the first actor to release an album. I understand thinking it's dumb but have you missed the last several decades? This isn't a new low, it's an everyday thing.

Take This Cake and Shove It

On This Is Us she's not even a good singer. Mandy Moore ain't great either but she's way better than Chrissy. Who wanted Chrissy to have a recording contract?

I’m ALL Over You.

When fat hillbillies accept gays as born this way & actually accept us, I’ll bend my brain too and accept fats & pretend that they’re fat because of genetics and not because they’re unable to put down the doughnuts.

Chrissy Metz is an obese egomaniac.

She's going to have to sit behind a piano like Fats Domino. I don't think she could stand up for more than 20 minutes in one spot and sing.

Her first album will be an homage to Jimmy Buffet- "Cheeseburger in Paradise"

I hope she turns up to the country music awards in a sexy cowgirl outfit.

I bet her rear shading makes Aaron Schock’s seem unpigmented.

I can’t access Us in my country. Can you tell us we when we can expect to the album?

“The Snack Purse Sessions” is a great title.

LOL r12

‘Always on my Rind’

‘The Flubber Rolls’

‘This One’s For the Girdles’

‘From This MooMoo On’

‘Breathe (...I can’t)’

R32 *’Pastry Maker’s Daughter’

Just so long as she doesn’t try to mount a horse.

That would be cruel.

Do they make XXXXX-L Cow-print skirts?

Did you see Reba's face at that tribute. She was cringing for Chrissy.

Reba at 1:50.

"Give me a pig foot and a bottle of beer..."

'Are You Finished With That?'

"Achy Breaky Rocking Chair"

'Grits 'n Gravy'

What are the odds the album cover is going to be a closeup so extreme Ann Wilson would blush? And what's the title? "Songs from the Overworked Heart"? "Cuntry Girl"?

She puts the cow in cowgirl.

That clip of her singing. Awful. Will someone please in her camp tell her she sounds like shit?

She'd eat them alive if they did, R59.

This photo makes it look like she only has one chin. I assume they'll go with something similar for the album cover.

That carefully placid, non expression on Reba's face said it all.

It's like everyone's so distracted by her fatness they don't realize what a bad singer and actress she is.

I don't think she's super beautiful and talented but fat.

It's the other way around.

Her fatness is her selling point. That's what makes up for everything else -- including her nasty attitude.

I don't think it's possible for her Instagram to be any frauier.

r11 wins.

What size is that hoodie at R64??

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. I’m begging you. Please don’t take my HAM”.

I bet someone had to search for hours to find a hoddie in her size for that three second video.

"I Walk The (Buffet) Line"

Oh Give Me A Home Where The Buffalo Wings Roam

Bingeing 9 to 5 what a way to make a waist line

"I Fall for Reese's"

Reba’s look in that video is hilarious shade. “Harpo, who dis flat, off-key fat bitch?”

Why did none of you bitches update with a link to her appearance on Live with Kelly and Ryan? They even carted out her couch.

....

Butterball

All her hard luck cliched country lyrics will end with ‘....and then I ate a pie.’

I’ll tell you this....Chrissy Metz threads are my catnip. You bitches made my day and I am so grateful.

She looks bigger than ever at R74.

From Morrissey

How Soon Is Chow?

There Is a Fridge Light that Never Goes Out

'Cause I ate my way into all the Thanksgiving sides

And an entire turkey and 8 pumpkin pies

Maybe next time you'll think before you eat

'Cause you know It won't be with me

No, it's all for me.

R74 wow she really does look bigger than ever there!