Gambling Addiction (poker) help

This post sounds made up to me.

It’s not made up, wow makes me feel even worse my life sucks so bad it sounds made up

Quit. Life will get better

Gamblers anonymous helped a friend of mine

I don’t live anywhere near a GA meeting. I did do Skype GA meeting. But ghosted when I get heavy relapse into online poker again.

Sign the fuck out of DL. Go back to the Skype GA meeting. Slipping isn't shameful. Continuing the addiction when you know it's harming you is. Just do it and keep at it. Things have a way of turning around when you make healthy choices.

If there are no GA meetings in your area you might want to check out AA or NA meetings that are listed as open. Most groups will let you sit in but not share. Being around others in recovery can be powerful and most likely you will meet others that may have the same issue with gambling and you will definately be around others that are dealing with addiction and many of them want what you want...to stop. Despite what others may say 12 steps can work and it would be a way to get out of the house and away from your mom for awhile.

Play Blacjack OP

The 12 steps work for virtually any compulsive behavior. It's not enough to just stop, you need to replace your old ways of thinking and behaviors with new ones, so life isn't so unbearable that you crave escape.

Since you can't afford therapy, borrowing recovery books at the library are doable and should help you. You may even find some specifically about gambling addiction.

The suggestion to find AA and NA meeting best you is a good one. Having a community around you that gets it will be invaluable to your recovery.

Good luck to you, OP. You deserve better than this.

Compulsive Gambler here. Also for Poker (both cash games and tournaments). In the last 15 years, I've probably lost about $120,000. Mostly cash game is what gets me and unfortunately, losing at a tournament often leads me to the cash game. In 2009, I went to GA and was put off by the fact that I'd have to go to meetings for the rest of my life so I left. One year later, I returned. This time I knew I needed help and I committed to the program immediately. I stopped gambling that day. Nonetheless, I'd have dreams where I'd gamble and then I'd wake up relieved that I had still not gambled in 900 days or whatever. Counting up the days since I had last gambled was a game in itself really and when someone would come into a meeting saying that they had just gone back out, it gave me resolve that I would not let myself slip. Well, as time went on, I stopped going to meetings and by 2015, I started gambling again. I've probably lost about $20,000 in the last five years. I don't play cash game anymore and while I had started playing blackjack too, I've completely given that up. Black Jack is Evil. Do Not Play It. And so there you go. I don't think about going to GA anymore because I've given up religion and I just can't go along with the religious part of the program.

OP- If you want to stop and are ready to commit your life to it, I think GA can work. But do not listen to R8. Do Not Play Black Jack.

Ty for the advice above. It’s nice to hear from someone that can relate. I’m also mostly mtt player and a big win is what hooked me but I have also lost over 100k. I am just so compulsive I literally can not leave a casino or online until I lose everything. I think of every pay check and money I get about how I will gamble next. This time is like the nail in the coffin. I literally have not wanted to quit until now. I was having a breakdown and convulsions losing the money this time around. I realize it’s not worth it. I have so much self loathing and hatred for myself. And it’s exhausting having my thoughts possessed every waking moment. I want to change so that is the first step. My fist goal is to go 30 days. Then maybe medication, or therapy. And I could go to an AA. I’m not an alcoholic but I think I have compulsion issues of all kinds that led me here.

OP, as for GA, don’t think about meetings for life. Mentally commit to a year, then plan on reassessing. If that is too much, you can do the day at a time thing.

My nephew won $300,000 gambling. Then he lost it. He was to busy gambling to attend his grandfather’s funeral, even though he was already nearby, as he had traveled to the area to gamble. Because he failed to document his losses, the IRS wanted income taxes on the $300,000 gain. It was a mess.

Good luck. I know this is a terrible affliction.

You might/probably have OCD. You will never win enough to not need a real job. You are giving your money away and basically stealing from yourself and your future. Call 1800gambler. They will assign you a free counselor for 6 phone sessions and give you a conference call # to dial into a GA call where you can listen to others who are currently battling and get advice from those who have gotten through it. Dopamine in the brain is urging you to go play again. The longer you go without gambling the less the urge will be. Each time you think of going gambling, repeat to yourself "I am weak. I won't win." And find something else to do. Confide in your mom that you're having an urge and she will want to help you even though it will be difficult/embarrassing to talk about, you need someone encouraging you.

Do you have a friend you can give your credit card to? Try to focus on getting a job, however menial, and getting support from the sources suggested above. Staying at home all day is a recipe for online addiction, gambling or porn or whatever. Force yourself to get out and find work. Your life can improve and you can stop gambling. I wish you well.

OP I TOTALLY FEEL YOU!!! You are not alone!!!! It's going to get better, I swear. Just do not gamble anymore!!! When you think of gambling, visualize a red circle "no" symbol over it. It is no longer an option!

I have had so many low moments (months? years?) OP, where I was deep in dysfunction and could not visualize how my life could ever get better. I had childhood trauma that I was self-medicating. So there have been many chapters in my life where I used to drink alone, heavily, even in high school. I also had a six-month spell of bulimia that I could not shake until I went to the library and read about what bulimia does to your body. I was also a major smoker from age 15 to 24. I quit and restarted many, many times before I was able to quit for good. Hmm, what else? Addiction to online shopping, online gossip. Addiction to seeking one night stands...you name it. You think you're having fun (dopamine rush) and then, when you come to your senses, there is all this shame and hopelessness. YES. You are not alone!!!

You definitely need to get away from your house as many hours a day as you can. Do you have any friends or acquaintances, OP? Go to coffee shops and read or write. Write about how uncomfortable you are. Get it out. I agree with R14, too, in that you need a job to keep you occupied and to rebuild the financial coffers. Maybe multiple part-time gigs. Just stay out of the house and join the human race.

[quote]The only jobs I’m qualified for are minimum wage jobs, and it’s just too excruciating for me to do minial jobs

You have a lot more to work on than gambling. The fact that you actually blame your gambling for all your problems is itself another problem.

If you are only qualified for minimum wage jobs, but think menial jobs are beneath you, sounds like your problems are a lot bigger than gambling.

You need to seek out a much more comprehensive approach to mental health than simply the gambling.

[quote]r11 My fist goal is to go 30 days. Then maybe medication, or therapy.

Why do you have to put those off for 30 days? If you feel you really need help, there's no sense in putting any avenue of help off.

Besides which, you don't know what it is that will help you most, so you may as well do a variety of things so that which ever one does work for you starts kicking in as soon as possible.

Why do you like gambling if you lose? That's no fun. Why continue doing something that makes you miserable?

R18. I honestly think I’m addicted to it because I lose. It’s an escape from my life which I’m very unhappy. I hate my life and I hate myself. My base line is being miserable so losing doesn’t effect me like a normal person. I’m use to the shit feeling, so that when I crash and lose. I just want to do it all over again. I do want to stop. I don’t want to waste 8 more years. I’ve been depressed and lost before poker but it has been what I have been hiding behind and self destruction I want to end

The urges get lighter and lighter. I SWEAR. Every day that you stay away from it is another day you are giving your brain a chance to rewire itself. Tips: *make a plan for the day to fill your time. (Eg: 10a-12p apply for jobs, 1p gym, 3p food shopping...ANYTHING, so you’re not idle) *make at least two connections (through GA, or something else) whom you can call when you’re feeling the urge *set a money goal “I’m going to save $950.00 for an online class to learn coding” *try cognitive behavioral therapy (get a book from the library if you can’t afford a therapist)

Good advice r20. Than you

Gamblers are addicted to losing

R15 and R20 gave amazing advice on

You might be able to find some support over at reddit: Try r/problemgambling and also the very active r/stopdrinking. Best of luck to you OP

Good advice. I’ve gone a day and a half. Feeling very hopeless already. Really suicidal

You are having brain-chemical withdrawals. Evety bit as rough as heroin withdrawals but without the sweating.

Try to get some sleep, watch tv til you can, and go to an AA meeting tomorrow. Go to several, if there are a few taking place in the same building (common). Make a day of it.

Just get through through tonight. Good luck.

Sorry I'm typing on my phone

I already relapsed. Played so much last week had a bonus hundred. Used my phone to play till it was gone. The hold is real

That's not unusual. Keep trying. You can do this!

R28 Can you get away from your mom?? She's a constant trigger. There is something about your dynamic with her that you are escaping.

Why don’t you commit to spending some of your gambling hours actually studying the game and learning to play well?

If you must gamble, poker is your best option. Study in order to master the game and the math, manage your bankroll properly, only play at stakes you can afford for a while, and see how that goes.

Ok. This story is getting worse. So, I deposited a 1000$ check in Tuesday. By Thursday I had deposited at least 10x coinbase bitcoin to my poker site. I was down -926 or something. I check my balance at the atm on Friday and it was 58$ . I checked my balance today at the bank ATM it was 964$- Wtf! I withdrew 200$ and bought another 300$ bitcoin. Where did this money come from. Did my bank reverse my charges because they don’t approve of bitcoin? Am I going to get all the money I spent back. Why would my balance go from 58 to 966 on a weekend? How is that possible. Yes I need help. I think if somehow I receive this money back I will get rid of my laptop

You've got a lot of good advice here OP, I hope it helps. I suggest you get a new healthier addiction to take up your time and give you kind of a natural high such as running or weightlifting. Every time you get the urge to gamble throw on your running shoes and run for a,couple of miles until the endorphins kick in or do some lifting. It will distract your mind and give you new healthier goals.

Prozac and possibly add an anti-psychotic to start. Sounds like you’re depressed and a Dopamine fiend.

I agree with r34 there are meds that will be necessary during your recovery. You must couple them with therapy and group (12 step) State lottery pays for all of this if you call the number in the fine print of any advertisement. Help is out there......you are now in the toughest spot and that is deciding it is time to take the next step and really do something. Time to get this out of your head and into action. Sadly nobody can do it for you, you. The ball is in your court and you know that nothing is going to change until YOU make that shot. You will be better for it and I can tell you from experience that there will be much better days but only when you take that next step. You can do this.

I actually have a good friend that has made a bundle with online gambling. He moved to Hawaii two years ago and lives in leisure

I was ejected from a local casino for counting card! . Didn’t realise it wasn’t allowed and it seemed logical way to win at the time.

Where do you live, OP? I know a therapist one of whose specialties is gambling addiction. He's in Pittsburgh, though.

[quote] R31: Why don’t you commit to spending some of your gambling hours actually studying the game and learning to play well?

That’s not how it works. It is a compulsion and not about playing skillfully. If you’ve never had a compulsion, you might never understand.

I met a cute sex addict once. I thought he was just a horn dog, but my friend explained that, no, he’s the type who would go to a park and not come home until dawn, covered in mud and cum with scrapes all over from the brush. Very unappealing.

Are online GA meetings really a good idea for someone addicted to gambling? What about getting offline almost completely?

I think OP is fucked if he can’t change his attitude about menial jobs. If you can occupy yourself away from gambling triggers, it will help. Get TWO menial (but not stressful) jobs and walk to them. Try to cover ten miles a day.

I’m in the U.K. and so don’t know the position re healthcare exactly.

I would go to see a primary care practitioner. ( GP) There are certain anti depressants that can help with compulsive type behaviour.

Look into counselling. Is your parent supportive?

In the meantime, look at writing down the bad things that have happened as a result of your gambling and the good things you can look forward to if you stop.

Focus the all or nothing mentality on something else, such as exercising or eating healthily.

It’s hard but you are now at the point where you want to change, so grab that opportunity with both hands and hang on for dear life.

Stay the fuck away from GA AA etc. I speak from experience here. They are cults and more harmful than I have words to express. If you needed a complicated cancer operation , you wouldn’t go to a surgeon whose textbook was written in the 1930’s would you?

Lots of people can make a decent living playing poker, whether online or live or both. The fact you have lost so much money means that you are clearly not one of these people, so first thing is to recognise that and stop chasing some unrealistic dream of you being a successful poker player. You need to find something else to do with your life.

Second, you clearly have a gambling addiction and should be seeking help online or in person from professionals who are trained to deal with this, not a gay internet forum.

I hope you get the help you need.

R42, I will add, that those people who make a living playing poker online, actually make it by playing against OP. It’s funny because it’s true. Not meaning to be disrespectful, OP.

[quote] R40: Are online GA meetings really a good idea for someone addicted to gambling? What about getting offline almost completely?

R40, it’s a good question; however, it is really hard to function today without any online access. You’ll certainly wait longer for service, if you can get it at all; and it will cost more. If OP can manage it, he should try to use the internet for other purposes. I just am ignorant on how this all works, but I just can’t imagine not using the internet at all.

[quote] R41: Stay the fuck away from GA AA etc.

Perhaps best left for another thread, but these groups are often used by people who are dying, or miserable, and have tried every other method within their means and not been successful. So, if you have no other choice, OP, it’s an option you should explore. It’s free, after all, and works for many people.

As a 12 stepper that has been 14 years free from gambling I will never understand people that are so anti 12 step. I mean if it isn't for you then that's fine but I have seen it work wonders for many. I am also an atheist and I have never felt that religion was part of my 12 step experience. I look at the whole god thing as being something that means a lot to some but nothing to many others. Higher power in 12 step is never defined as one specific thing.

Call 1-800-Gambler now and tell us how it went. Just dial it and talk to them.

1-800-426-2537

I’ve been to Gay AA meetings and i definitely felt in a tiny minority as I believe in God. I actually felt, not quite demeaned, but perhaps, politely tolerated. That’s fine, let a thousand flowers bloom. But I would t let the Higher Power thing put anybody off.

Update- So the money I received back was because Monday was a bank holiday so bitcoin takes time to processs. I gambled 500 dollars more. My account was negative 600. Anyway. I’m done. 2 days ago I banned my account. I haven’t gambled in 2 days. I callled the number to get a counselor. My reality is- I live at home with my mom. Depressed . Broke. And have no skills. 490 credit. I don’t see myself doing anything but poker- I don’t know how I’m ever going to get to the state of I never want to do it again. Any encouraging words would be appreciated

I attended a GA meeting with a friend of mine who had lost $3000 in a weekend and $5000 over the course of a week, going out to the casino and playing slot machines. Being Japanese, she was mortified about having to stand up and say her name, so she asked me to come and she used an alias. The stories I heard there were heartbreaking, but the atmosphere was not threatening at all. Many people had lost marriages, children, homes, businesses, etc. They are sincerely trying to help one another avoid the temptation, and many people had been able to stay away from gambling for years. My friend was able to stop almost immediately, partly because she is very frugal otherwise. You will be able to do this, OP. Find a program and stick with it.

How do you eat an elephant?

I still feel suicidal every day

Please seek help, r50. Call your state's Gambling Helpline.

Also, your on the internet, so look up an online gambling recovery group.

There exist thousands of things in existence that are much more powerful than us. None of us make the sun rise or set, and yet we accept that. Place Gambling in that same category. Accept that it's more powerful than you and that's OK.

We also have to accept that we can't, and don't have to bet. Please seek help.

I called the number. I get 7 counselour sessions. I feel so empty without poker

Keep busy. Get two fulltime jobs that require you to help others in some way. Low paying is fine, doesn't matter right now. Stay busy and bank that money. Go to meetings. Many AA meetings will accept other addictions. The next step is one-on-one counseling and plans to get your own place. You can do it.

Thank you, OP. I'm r45 and it makes me happy that you actually took my advice. Like others have said, gambling is related to dopamine and the long you're able to resist the less the urges will be.

What do you enjoy? What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Can't you become an Uber/Lyft driver until you figure stuff out?

I’m thinking of Uber eats grub hub delivery driver. I live in a middle of nowhere NC. I’m not qualified for anything. I could be working fast food with teenagers. I’m good with flipping things I find at the thrift store and the gym

Op, I used to work in a casino and a guy told me how awful he felt because he could not stop gambling. He said he would imagine driving off the road and plunging to his death on the way home. He said it's worse than drugs or alcohol because his addiction is all mental and it's not physical. Your reply at r11 reminds me of him. I am 11 years sober from drinking and I wish you luck. I always liked to gamble until I worked in a casino. That will cure that real fast. Having to go into a casino 40-50 hours a week helps you not want to go into one on your off time.

Have you considered psychotherapy?

Right now I know I need Prozac or something. I need to start going to the gym and I need to stay busy. I’ve banned myself from my poker site ACR. Yes I’ve felt like stepping in front of a train before leaving a casino. Yes I’ve thought of therapy. I just feel hopeless. I felt hopeless before poker. But with the option not available I feel worse. I feel overwhelmed and like it’s impossible for me to ever hold a job, save money, have decent credit, have some normalcy. So yea I wanna curl up and die

You’re only 34, OP.

Get help for your addiction as a first step. Enroll in a community college for a practical job in a field that you think you’ll enjoy.

Get in good physical shape. Eat well. Keep out of the house.

Everything will get better with time.

Get a job already. You whine about what a loser you are, but then suggest you don’t want to work with teenagers at a fast food restaurant. Which is is? Do you hate yourself for being a huge loser or do you think you too good to work at McDonalds?

Hint: it’s both. Face the contradiction and get a job at McDonalds and take it seriously. Be employee of the month. NOBODY is too good for any job, they may just be more appropriate placed elsewhere.

Get a job. Really, you should get two jobs, as you’ve already been advised twice in this thread. You need the structure.

I compulsive thoughts

OP,

OP, where are you?

Physical activity is definitely the best way to keep your mind off of your addiction. You are strong and you can do this!

Though, you never know; you might win big!