U is for Underwhelmed

I had a dentist appointment today, going back next week to get fitted for a guard because I clench my jaw at night.

I just had a pee and may go make some toast next. May.

I need to go to Macy’s tomorrow to buy a lightweight jacket for the fall.

I just had a snack of whole-wheat crackers and pepper-Jack cheese.

Whilst watching television.

Swiss would be better cheese for this thread.

I ruminated on how one measures intestinal gas.

I'm sceptical of people claiming it can be measured in litres.

I just spent 3 frustrated hours trying to set up my new work phone today before digging up an email sent much earlier in the week while I was traveling telling me not to do so much as even turn it on until I confirmed receipt and IT activated the account.

Think I’ll settle down for a drink and a chicken pot pie.

My spouse is in the process of moving to a new cubicle at work. I guess I should add that the new cubicle is on a different floor, but I'm afraid of making this post too exciting.

I watched a squirrel run across power lines today.

This very thread is the height of underwhelmingness!

This is the third active “Underwhelming “ thread.

Silly.

Here.

Please, R7! Restrain yourself. Your frustration is EXHAUSTING.

R11 winner - thats the most underwhelming thing in this thread so far

I can’t decide whether I want to go to the Under Armour store this afternoon to buy some more of their wonderful golf khakis. They’re super comfortable and look great but static cling is in issue around my calves.

[quote] R1: I had a dentist appointment today, going back next week to get fitted for a guard because I clench my jaw at night.

That’s a medical tax deduction, R1. If you have enough other expenses, and you have income, you can itemize your federal income taxes and deduct this as a medical expense. Also deductible:

Massage therapy, if needed for a medical condition, and recommended by a doctor, and legal.

Taxi fare to, or parking expense while at, your AA meeting.

Medical premiums if you pay them with after-tax income.

Eyeglass expenses.

Long term care insurance premiums.

You’re welcome.

I’m in the mood for chocolate chip cookies, but I don’t feel like making the effort tonight.

I have come to the conclusion that Muriel has been communicating with me anonymously on here for years. I’m seeking ideas on how to monetize this? Do you think she’ll be pissed if I DOX her? Well, too late now.

Pierre, honey, she already doxxed YOU and making money off of YOU.

R10 = Muriel.

Pierre, my dearest, I supposed the only way you can monetize this mess is to write an erotica, penthouse-style, based on the uncanny ESTs bombarding this board.

Why, r21, I thought this was a PG board?

I'm taking my MacBook Air into the office tomorrow.

I wonder if they'll realize I used it today watching porn and that the smears on the screen and keyboard are dry sperm?

R23, you are too overwhelming for this thread, missy.

Do you have aromatic dry sperm, R23?

My local launderette has an elaborate Halloween display in their window, including a hanging Grim Reaper holding chains. I understand other shops putting up those sort of displays to catch the attention of kids, but a launderette? Who wants to be reminded of their inevitable death while getting their clothes laundered?

I've got a stack of pants and shirts on my back seat that I've been meaning to drop off at a thrift shop, but I keep forgetting.

I don't understand this—

OP, I bet you $100 that you are not feeling well.

I just jacked off to a picture of Donald Trump Jr.

I just had a dream I was eating Joyce Bulifants 80 year old beef curtains.

OP, there is no God. We are created in Aliens image. Our ancestors are aliens.

I’m rewatching Dolores Claiborne. That Selena is NOT nice to her mother.

It funny hearing the deputy, John C. Reilly, use a thick Maine accent. He’s in everything and usually has no accent.

I think it's pathetic when guys upload their dick pics to those selfie sites but have to blur out all their random skin markings so they can't be identified.

My dick is hung like a horse, but bigger.

What sites are these R35? Asking for a friend. x

R37 Google it.

I started a to-do list in the 1980s. I’d carry it with me so I’d know the size of the bolt I needed if I found myself at the hardware store, things like that. I liked to keep it to a short quarter page, if I could. It’s 5 pages long now.

I have to go downstairs to mail the rent check and then buy Chinese food.

It only just occurred to me that Vera eventually was having an affair with Dolores Claiborne. Any argument? I thought they were just acquaintances who became close and then commiserated about murdering their husbands.

I’ve grown to like Christopher Plummer.

When I was young I could suck myself but I didn't find it rewarding and my cum doesn't taste very good compared to others'. But when I'm in love I'm a total pig for his cum.

Our emotions are stronger than our aesthetic taste.

My green Jello won't set. It's runny.

^freeze the motherfucker & see who wins.

The traffic is heavy and the lines are long.

I feel a cold coming on.

I had loads of blood in my stool today.

Loads of blood? A thimbleful?

Your having your period you silly fag

I had $2.99 a bottle Cabernet from Whole Foods last night, and it wasn’t half bad! Better than several more expensive wines I’ve been suckered into buying.

Get off DL and see your doc, R49.

My co-worker complained her office chair will not stay up. I asked her if she considered losing weight.

I just laughed much too hard at this one-star review of Pan's Labyrinth.

I removed my window AC and stored it for the season after I cleaned the gunk out of it with my garden hose.

Then I changed the oil in my car.

Then I treated myself to a Thai restaurant.

Tired .. I'll be in bed by 8P.

10 minutes ago I could feel dry gobbets of excrement pushing at my sphincter.

Now, I feel a ever-so-slightly satisfying well of hollowness reaching up my fundament.

R49, if the blood was red, wait to see if it goes away. It might just be a tear.

If the blood was dark, even black, you’re dying. See a doctor.

I’m really happy about something, but forget what.

Is it just me, or did a lot of 90s media have a specific aesthetic to it? This Christmas album by a group called the Manhattan Transfer just came up on a Spotify playlist, and I could tell just by looking at it that it's from the 90s. It reminds me of promo pics for Frasier and Friends.

My dog has accepted my new kitten snd lets her climb all over her.

I was going to snark at R61 and her female pets, but I'm opting for a margarita instead

It's open enrollment time at my workplace. We all get to pay a lot more for the same benefits. And they're changing our retirement plan from a 403B to a 401K- not sure why.

Waiting for Chinese delivery.

No cak and graxy this year for Thanksgiving?

It must be tiring being American so many festivities one must attend to show one is patriotic.

R36 = Christmas Moose

I just visited tumblr for the first time in ages. Sweet Jebus. These are the most fucking boring people in existence. Post upon post upon post about "aroace" representation and bi erasure and how everything in the world is problematic. How do these people cope when they encounter ACTUAL problems?

I broke a nail folding laundry. Ughhh. Why do these things always happen to ME !

The Macy's balloons are flying. Look out below!

Is this the all-time dullest subject for a journal article?

I didn't sneeze this morning.