Are You Interested In Being In A Romantic Relationship?

Ditto

Nope. I was in one for 20 years. I’m happy being single

Yes.

No. It's just so tiresome and tawdry.

Romance is for women and pussy-whipped men.

yes, very much so.

Such a thing does not exist. It's an illusion used as a weapon.

Thanks, I've had sufficient.

Romance isn’t worth the complications that come with it. That’s not to say it shouldn’t be experienced at least once.

Hell no. Im 58 , had 2 husbands die on me,the last one in 2011,and I dont ever want to go through something like that again. Id love some steady dick though.

Never say never. I’m not really looking for it. But if you’re playing in the NHL and you’re reading this please look me up.

French kissing the pillows is no fun after 40

I am , I spotted this handsome man at Aldi on .Monday. I was checking him out in frozen foods. We ended up both replacing our carts at the same time . He pretended not to know how to get his quarter back so I showed him. He drove by my car which was unnecessary because he was parked 3 rows away. Perhaps the interest is mutual??? Maybe I will see him again .

R13 next time wear a plunging neckline, fuck-me pumps and Daisy Dukes

Yes, but don't make my mistake of falling in love with a bisexual. Nothing but heartache.

R6 Dear God, Why?!

No.

oh, don't worry r15, any gay worth his salt knows that bisexuals are verboten.

Sometimes

because, R16, i am lonely. and i need to love someone and be loved. i know it won't happen, don't you worry

I want someone to love me for who I am on the inside. My relationships have been awful. I'm a people pleasure and sexually adventurous so a lot of guys have used me for sex and I feel like they've never attempted to really get to know me. I know it sounds ridiculous but my purest connections have been with fuckbuddies some of who have been married and or closeted. We were actual friends and I never felt like there was any manipulation. I can't stand being lied to.

I went out with a guy who was in good shape, but not incredible, and not even that different than me. But he would make passive-aggressive comments about what I would eat or drink, or about what shape I was in, or if I was going to the gym. Or how the enjoyment of something rested on my shoulders if it was my idea.

I didn't like feeling self-conscious when I just wanted to go out and have a good time. I realized that I prefer to be with a friend or someone who shared my sense of humor, rather than being in a dating situation.

I would say so, yes.

"Romantic relationship" is a Hallmark/Mills Boon construct.

r14 the phrase is “come-fuck-me-red pumps”

secondly: relationships were always better in my head. i try to keep them there.

You'll have to go back a bit further. The romantic era of the early 19th century shaped the modern concept of love/courtship.

^^ For R24.

R27 I went with contemporary LCD. I didn't want to force them to Google by mentioning Dumas fils, Shelley or Chateaubriand.

Try reading some of the threads on books if you really think that DLers aren't literate, R28.

R29 I do, as well as contribute to them. But I believe they are the minority.

I gave up on that when I discovered Connor Jessup preferred Asians. I should be in Mile Heizer's place now.

Fantasy relationships are way better than all the baggage, stress and heartache of the real thing. That, and my standards are too high for what I could realistically get. So, no, not really.

Heterosexual courtship rituals are predictable, outdated, attention-seeking and cringeworthy.

Sometimes I think yes and then I look around at howiserable most partnered people are and would rather be single.

R33, you forgot "expensive" and humiliating...

"I want someone to love me for who I am on the inside."

Ugh, I'm never dating a fister again.

I just don't have the stomach for it.

[quote] I went with contemporary LCD. I didn't want to force them to Google by mentioning Dumas fils, Shelley or Chateaubriand.

R28, in your zeal to save me from having to look up famous authors (which would have been fun), you drove me to Google with"LCD". After wading through numerous entries about "liquid crystal displays", I finally hit upon "least common denomination" and decided that you probably meant "lowest common denominator", which is something that I've heard of and which makes sense in context.

Always - and I'm in one again at last. Fingers crossed.

r10 must be some bottom to have two husbands die on him......

We are going on 21 years, and they said I was just going through a gay phase. Fuck you haters!

It's all downhill after the first kiss.

Romance is based on fantasy. Which is fine as long as it doesn’t lead to delusions that are setting you up for bankruptcy or long term harm. Harry and Megs are a perfect example - wrapped up in the idea of a great romance when hard cold reality is what is necessary for long term success.

I'm going to settle with someone much older than me when my whore days are through. We can just be domestic and boring. Until then I like being independent.

Yes, always.

First husband of 25 years died suddenly. Floated around aimless until I met my current husband and last. I’m a hopeless romantic. 3rd year and we’re settling in nicely.

No, I was in one. The last thing I want is to walk into my home after work and deal with all that nonsense.

Yes, it would lighten my spirits. Even if it leads to heartbreak later on.

R46, that's how I feel every time a pet dies -- I always swear that I'll never put myself through that kind of pain again, but I eventually take a deep breath and decide that it is worthwhile after all. I don't feel that way about relationships with humans, but animals definitely are worth the risks and I suppose the feelings are the same for those of you who love humans.

Ditto, R2.

I was in a relationship for 20+ years, and was miserable for most of them. Unfortunately, I could not explain my unhappiness. Fortunately, I found a wonderful therapist who helped me work through my issues and dump the mother fucker already.

I've been single longer than I was in a relationship, and could not be happier.

Like many DLers, I'm vicariously interested in romantic relationships as a topic. I haven't the drive to enter into one myself - all that work!

I think perhaps I'm put off because my parents stayed in a stagnant, boring, repressed marriage all their lives since they were 25 and sacrificed a normal social life plus their personal ambitions to do so. It never seemed worth it to me, watching them go through the motions of a domestic conjugal life with no colour. I've been lonely, depressed, driftless and bored at times in my lonesome life and occasionally plagued by the "who will come to my funeral?" question, but then I always remind myself that I do not have to be trapped by my Ego, circumstances can easily change in this random world of ours and that at least these states I find myself in do not perpetuate thanks to a legal contract & joint bank account.

I feel as if it's the only thing left I actually want out of life. I would be very pleased to have the opportunity to enjoy the intimacy of caring about someone else as much as you do yourself.

Sure, a romantic relationship is great at first, but for me, I get bored after a few months. I was partnered for 11 years but looking back we should have called it off after year three. Maybe if I found the right guy?

My dad, after my mom died, connected with a woman who was his gf in grade school. They were married for 27 years and holding hands until he died. You could tell that they were in love all throughout their marriage. So, I know it can be done.

R51, that happened to my grandfather, except that they were old when they married after their first spouses died, so they only had 8 years together. But those were blissful and he was finally happy for the first time in his long life. Too bad these things have to wait so long to happen, but maybe they're more appreciated as a result.

Yes if I didn't have to live with him and it happened organically. Being single really is the greatest as long as you have friends and family to do things with when you want to.

R52, I’ve read of a lot of cases of high school sweethearts who meet again in later life and hit it off immediately. I wonder if that’s because after you retire, your standards are lower because you’ve lived through other relationships and you know the ups and downs and are more realistic. The high school sweethearts I know that married in high school all had ugly divorces with lots of cheating. And they all had kids very young and were lousy fathers.

I’m in my fifties, and a lot of the men I meet are looking to be supported financially. They’re not looking for a romantic partner, they’re looking for a wallet. Ugh no. And they lie about everything, including stuff they have no reason to lie about. I don’t need a sociopath living in my house with me, or cluttering up my life.

I met one recently that went from, I own a home, I’m single, no kids, to the truth, which is, I rent a furnished room, I’m separated, but married, and never see my kid (presumably not paying child support either). And I’m pretty sure he’s unemployed. How on earth this guy is supporting himself I have no idea.

Why? If you’re ashamed of your lifestyle, then fix it.

I love a romantic relationship, but I also like my space. I've had five serious romantic relationships. Two of them ended in messy breakups after about two years. When I say messy, I mean names were called, accusations were made, and voices were raised. Fortunately, the police did not have to intervene.

Of the other three, one partner died of cancer. (That was an excellent relationship, with mutual love and respect.) Another relationship ended when my boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was a short but sweet relationship, and he did one of the loveliest, most thoughtful things for me, but that's another story entirely.

Finally, my current relationship, which has been going on for five years, is another excellent one. We live together and he is 9 years younger than I am. We give each other room to breathe. We have mutual interests, and we complement each other. We love animals, reading, hiking, movies, and we can make one another laugh. If this relationship doesn't last, then I'll become a monk or something.

I think romantic relationships started later in life are better. My parents married at 18 and had a hellish marriage. They both met new partners in their late forties and are happier than I've ever seen them.

How do people have the time & energy for this, seriously? Between taking care of my dog, cleaning up after my parents and going to my shitty job I barely have time left to defend for friends & creative pursuits. I already feel like I'm not alone or free or relaxed enough, with responsibilities and 'musts'. Keeping a lover on top of that? Yikes.

You all are a bunch of cynical sad-sacks. It's a couples world. Life is more interesting with a partner. You get a yin with your yang. I've been in a relationship for 25 years. Overall, it's made life more fulfilling.

Zzzzzzzz ^

R58: YES!

Would it have killed you to have at at least posted a picture or link OP? I mean would that have been so hard? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post?

[quote] when my boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was a short but

I read “it was a short bus“ 🤣. I thought he was run over by a bunch of disabled kids.

No, but I still got into one thinking it might change my mind. It didn't. And now I don't have the guts to call it off.

Worse than that, actually. He was hit on a curve by a truck that was being driven on the wrong side of the road. The driver slammed on the brakes but the impact was still deadly. He never regained consciousness. He was put on life support and remained that way for about a week. By that time it became obvious that he was brain dead and there would be no recovery. His mother gave permission to pull the plug.

Oh shit, I'm sorry R64

I can be romantic, but people are such tedious pains in the ass, I was done at age 40. One of the things that makes me want to be romantic again is good music, jazz, a sexy saxophone. But most people don't get that kind of music and reject it instantly as something "my parents would listen to."

This is sublime, pay no attention to the title:

I was, but I’m thoroughly jaded. I’m going to go be straight.

Thanks r 65. That happened almost 10 years ago, and I don't think I've actually been able to wrap my mind around the whole thing even now. He was only 28 years old, and absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. He was funny, brilliant, sensitive and kind. There was nothing he could not do with a computer, and that was his field of work.

Here is the type of man he was: It was winter, and our area was in the midst of a snowstorm. My very elderly cat named Spider, almost 20 years old, decided that this would be a good night to die. I placed him in a box with blankets, sat beside him and cried. The phone rang, and it was Mark. I told him what was happening and it must have been obvious that I had been crying. He told me that he would come over right away. I told him not to even try. The roads were filling up with snow. He told me that he would get here. My house would be at most a ten minute drive from his place, more likely five minutes, but there was no way that he could get any vehicle to my place that night. Perhaps an hour later, the doorbell rang. It was Mark, covered in snow. He had walked. He told me that he didn't want me to be alone.

He seems like an amazing man, R68. Glad you got to know him.

[quote][R13] next time wear a plunging neckline, fuck-me pumps and Daisy Dukes

Why, r14, do they go to the same church too?

I'm wealthy. I can buy romance.

R68 that you for sharing that story.

R57, you poor thing! I feel for you. Hope you can find more time for yourself

[quote]but there was no way that he could get any vehicle to my place that night. Perhaps an hour later, the doorbell rang.

Incredible. I had no idea the baths had snow days too.

Jesus, this is one of the saddest threads I’ve ever seen on the DL. Gay men really do have a screwed up view of love.

Yes, but I don't want to settle down with someone with serious personality disorders as both my sisters did.

God no. I'm too old and it takes too much energy and too much pretending.

Of course. When I love someone, it all comes naturally because I'm thinking about them all the time.

R75 what's the heterosexual marriage divorce rate again?