The newest Management Meeting Metaphor that I abhor:

OP, since we're not "on the same page"

"let's table that for now" so we can

"circle back" at a later date.

At the end of the day, it is what it is.

I think OP needs to touch base with his team so that they can provide constructive feedback on how he can think outside the box and empower him to impact the organization.

“Reach Out”

What's your USP, OP?

[quote]The newest Management Meeting Metaphor that I abhor: The word “unpack” when meant to mean “discuss and analyze.”

Geez, how far down the Management Meeting invite list are you that "unpack" is the "newest" word you abhor?

Stakeholders.

"Let's take that offline for now, then we can circle back later and level set all the stakeholders"

I want an Avenue Q like musical comedy that mocks current office lingo and behaviors with songs like "Please Advise!" and "I Concur."

"ramp up"

Really? I've been retired over three years and nothing new? Perhaps idiom is a better word than metaphor. I've attached a list of idioms that might inspire new catchy phrases. .

We don’t have the bandwidth to ensure compliance. Besides, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Go granular and inbox it to me.

My favorite newly acquired ridiculous office-speak is "Tofu, "Mofu," and "Bofu" which means "top of the funnel," "middle of the funnel," and "bottom of the funnel" respectively. Here they are in action:

"It's just a tofu concept at the moment and we won't bring the C-levels in until we're mofu. We expect to be bofu before the start of Q2."

"That being said or That Said" makes the veins in my temples throb.

I once interviewed a man for a job in my company. It was an hour-long interview and it was sheer torture listening to him because he spoke almost exclusively in management idioms. Even the simplest question about what he was looking for in a new job got a bullshit corporate-speak response. I kinda stopped paying close attention to him after the first 30 minutes or so and didn't offer him the job.

Let’s put that in the parking lot.

Nice to e-meet you, OP! I'll loop in the Datalounge group to advise on next steps.

"Tackle" - if I wanted to hear the word 'tackle' as part of the vernacular of my job I would've fucking joined the fucking NFL!

R15, did you feedback him that unfortunately your company needed a team player who can roll up their sleeves and hit the ground running? After all, you work hard and play harder.

I still say "'let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes" when I can only be heard by people who know that I'm clearly joking.

"Drive in the detail" "That's baselined" "Use the appropriate cadence" "Ping it to me" "Bash the scope" (ahem)

While working as a librarian I used to meet with colleagues from other universities. They used to say "at my shop" which really irritated me.

I notice too that broadcasters will ask the interviewee do please "unpack this for us".

Circle round, or back around... please stop, as you're making me dizzy. Going forward...

We have to give them a peek under the kimono if they are going to make a substantial investment.

You're going to have to get in the weeds.

Not new, but still annoying...

"I call bullshit" and "I call shenanigans."

If they're not home, do you leave a message? Do they call you back?

I hate the term "bio break." So degrading. You're only allowed of your seat to piss or shit.