I have to laugh at the fancy job titles they give shitty jobs to make them sound more appealing. Here are two of the most laughable I’ve seen:
Environmental Services Tech = Janitor
Sandwich Artist = Worker at Subway
Any other examples you’ve seen?
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I have to laugh at the fancy job titles they give shitty jobs to make them sound more appealing. Here are two of the most laughable I’ve seen:
Environmental Services Tech = Janitor
Sandwich Artist = Worker at Subway
Any other examples you’ve seen?
by Anonymous | reply 53 | October 18, 2019 3:06 AM |
Brand Representative - shopbottom
by Anonymous | reply 1 | October 11, 2019 9:03 PM |
Commercial sex worker = hooker/whore/prostitute
by Anonymous | reply 2 | October 11, 2019 9:06 PM |
Agency Coordinator = Receptionist
by Anonymous | reply 3 | October 11, 2019 9:12 PM |
Customer experience advisor - Call centre in India
by Anonymous | reply 4 | October 11, 2019 9:20 PM |
Executive Assistant = Secretary
by Anonymous | reply 5 | October 11, 2019 9:21 PM |
Customer interface executive = receptionist
by Anonymous | reply 6 | October 11, 2019 9:24 PM |
Actor = really a waiter
Influencer = worthless POS who makes social media posts and attracts idiot "followers" who have no brains in their heads
by Anonymous | reply 7 | October 11, 2019 9:24 PM |
Quality assurance assistant = person who reviews and edits our Ms-word reports at work
by Anonymous | reply 8 | October 11, 2019 9:26 PM |
Concessionaire = pops and sells popcorn at the movie theater.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | October 11, 2019 9:27 PM |
Barista
by Anonymous | reply 10 | October 11, 2019 9:28 PM |
Sanitation Engineer = trash man
by Anonymous | reply 11 | October 11, 2019 9:29 PM |
Second R10. You pour coffee. Doesn't take a PhD to operate a coffee machine, no matter how many bells and whistles it has.
Human Resources...Feel sorry for a lot of them who have to sort out the shit that other people get into in the workplace.
Vice President of the United States...Let's face it. You're picked because you lost the primaries. Whoever is president chose you based upon a calculus that you will bring in votes (you won't except perhaps your home state), or that you will add gravitas to the ticket (that's a laugh). You (no matter what they say) will never be that close to the president as a friend or advisor. You spend your days traveling to places for state funerals or to bolster policies that are really not yours. The POTUS probably won't die, so you'll never get the real job with the actual power!!
by Anonymous | reply 12 | October 11, 2019 9:42 PM |
associate = clerk
by Anonymous | reply 13 | October 11, 2019 9:43 PM |
When a self-employed/ freelancer/ small business-owner calls him or herself the CEO. Nothing screams amateur like business cards or a LinkedIn profile trumpeting ‘CEO’ for a self-employed toilet-scrubber with no employees, much less other executive officers to be "chief" of.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | October 11, 2019 9:50 PM |
Present Flotus : whore
by Anonymous | reply 15 | October 11, 2019 9:59 PM |
President Donald Trump. If that's not a shitfest, I don't know what is.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | October 11, 2019 10:04 PM |
Urologist (pee doctor-- GROSS)
by Anonymous | reply 17 | October 11, 2019 10:05 PM |
Director = in charge of a few people
by Anonymous | reply 18 | October 11, 2019 10:07 PM |
At the college where I teach, departmental secretaries first became "administrative assistants" and now are "academic coordinators."
by Anonymous | reply 19 | October 11, 2019 10:14 PM |
Professor: Academic Support = Librarian. OK, it's not that shitty in fact. At least we don't need to earn a PhD.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | October 11, 2019 11:15 PM |
Proctologist = ass doctor. A doctor of the rectum.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | October 12, 2019 12:27 AM |
Social Media Influencer = Whore
by Anonymous | reply 22 | October 12, 2019 12:56 AM |
I worked at a Subway sandwich shop in the early 90s. The title “Sandwich Artist” was obviously tongue-in-cheek and created for the benefit of the customers. No one who worked there gave that title a second thought.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | October 12, 2019 1:02 AM |
[quote] Quality assurance assistant = person who reviews and edits our Ms-word reports at work
Quality Assurance Auditor. And you should be very thankful that I'm there to correct all your mistakes
You're the worst one in the office
by Anonymous | reply 24 | October 12, 2019 1:02 AM |
Porn Star - Prostitute
by Anonymous | reply 25 | October 12, 2019 1:03 AM |
First Lady of The United States of America - Hooker
by Anonymous | reply 26 | October 12, 2019 1:10 AM |
Biohazard Technician = wearer of a white suit who cleans up human remains
by Anonymous | reply 27 | October 12, 2019 1:24 AM |
First Lady = retired prostitute
by Anonymous | reply 28 | October 12, 2019 1:25 AM |
Visual Stylist = window dresser
by Anonymous | reply 29 | October 12, 2019 1:27 AM |
First Impressions Manager - Receptionist
by Anonymous | reply 30 | October 12, 2019 1:32 AM |
Production assistant - factory worker.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | October 12, 2019 1:34 AM |
Apple Genius = Retail worker
by Anonymous | reply 32 | October 12, 2019 1:36 AM |
Executive Housekeeper = cleaner with supervisory responsibilities
by Anonymous | reply 33 | October 12, 2019 1:41 AM |
Nurse, teacher, cook, maid, chauffeur, personal assistant, animal wrangler, I'M A MOMMY
by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 12, 2019 1:45 AM |
Team member - no benefits minimum wage earner
by Anonymous | reply 35 | October 12, 2019 1:52 AM |
I didn't have my glasses on when I read this title and I thought it said: "Fancy Titties for Shitty Jobs."
by Anonymous | reply 36 | October 12, 2019 3:03 AM |
I remember a Judge Judy episode where the defendant was a Subway employee who was not supporting his child by his baby mama. When JJ asked the guy if he was employed and what kind of work he did he replied "I'm a sandwich artist at Subway". She looked at him and said "a what?". Then she looked at Byrd and said something to the effect of "you ever heard of this job before?". Byrd explained what a sandwich artist at Subway was and JJ looked at the guy and said "oy, I just can't with this - so, you make sandwiches for people". But you could tell she was thinking "what is this fool trying to pull?".
by Anonymous | reply 37 | October 12, 2019 2:23 PM |
"First Lady = retired prostitute."
We wouldn't be so sure about that.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | October 12, 2019 2:28 PM |
R14 What's worse is when housefraus put things like "Director of household responsible for shit diapers and finances" in their LinkedIn profiles. You're a housewife, honey,
by Anonymous | reply 39 | October 12, 2019 2:29 PM |
R39 Please tell me you’re joking about stay at home moms putting “Director of Household Responsibilities” on their LinkedIn page??? OMG how embarrassing.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | October 12, 2019 10:42 PM |
I'm not sure if they still do this, but TGI Friday's used to refer to their hosts as "smiling people greeters".
by Anonymous | reply 41 | October 12, 2019 11:59 PM |
R40 I'm not. I've seen housewives describe themselves as "Directors" and "CEOs" of their homes on LinkedIn and on Facebook.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | October 13, 2019 12:23 AM |
Associate = clerk, shelf stocker, laborer, etc.
Deliberately named as such to remind you that you're barely tethered to the brand and its business.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | October 13, 2019 12:30 AM |
Media Distribution Area Manager — 12 year old with a paper route
by Anonymous | reply 44 | October 13, 2019 1:54 AM |
If there's a middle aged woman who's 350-400lbs plus working for HR, get the fuck out of there,
by Anonymous | reply 45 | October 13, 2019 2:18 AM |
Not too many millennials commenting here, apparently, or you'd see a lot more of these. They've all had one.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | October 13, 2019 2:23 AM |
R37 My sister worked at a Subway in college and she said they drum "sandwich artist" into your head that she calls it that in her head over a decade later.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | October 13, 2019 12:45 PM |
president = thug, fraud, liar, con man, criminal, piece of shit
by Anonymous | reply 48 | October 13, 2019 1:13 PM |
Walmart greeter =deplorablel
by Anonymous | reply 49 | October 13, 2019 1:15 PM |
Scoopologist -- works at an ice cream shop.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | October 18, 2019 2:27 AM |
Domestic Engineer : Housefrau
by Anonymous | reply 51 | October 18, 2019 2:34 AM |
I'll never get past "mixologist". EVAH!
by Anonymous | reply 52 | October 18, 2019 2:41 AM |
My favorite from a résumé I read many years ago: "Aquatics Instructor." (Lifeguard)
by Anonymous | reply 53 | October 18, 2019 3:06 AM |
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