Let’s Be Hairspray (1988)

I forgot Blondie was in this. She was really bad. She has NO acting talent.

I'm the rat. I outacted Michael St Gerard in the alley makeout scene.

I'm stuffed in somebody's bra!

I'm Papa Tooney. We've got a looney!

I'm the falsies

I'm the amazing career Divine should have had after this movie.

Not funny but tragic.

I'm the diet pill. I'm wearing off.

We met Divine shortly before she died.

She seemed neither pleasant nor happy.

I’m The Roach! Let’s do The Roach.

I'm Mr Pinky from the Hefty Hideaway. I want you to eat an eclair.

I'm the mouthful of fake vomit Colleen Fitzpatrick had to hold in her cheeks while riding the Tilt-a-Whirl over and over.

I’m the soundtrack, better than any musical number in all the future productions.

I'm Lil' Inez

Ha. I just looked up Colleen Fitzpatrick to see whatever happened to her, and her birth date on Wikipedia has been fudged. It claims she was born in 1972, which means she would have been 14 going on 15 when shooting Hairspray.

It also says she was a student at NYU when she was cast in the movie, which she was because I was in college with her. Pretty sure she was born in '69. I was a year behind her.

I'm the voodoo spells feared by uptight white ladies.

[R15] That character was so good—who doesn’t know a mom like that?

I’m Jackie Kennedy, even she teases her hair!

I'm Madison Time!

I'm Debbie Harry's exploding wig!

The exploding video!

I'm the beatnik chick, played by Golden Globe-winning actress/singer/termite annihilator Pia Zadora.

I'm Josh Charles. I had a bit part but I ended up having the most successful career of anyone else in the movie.

[quote] I'm Josh Charles. I had a bit part but I ended up having the most successful career of anyone else in the movie.

Oh, so you had a phenomenally popular talk show?

^^ God knows why. He's so blah.

Is this the one with the dykey games teacher who shouts 'LET'S PLAY DODGEBALL!"?

If it is, I'm her.

I'm Michael St. Gerard's sexy bedroom eyes.

I'm special ed!

I’m 18-year-old me sitting in the theater, watching a John Waters movie for the first time and trying to decide if I like it.

I'm Penny Pingleton! I'm permanently punished!

You're a HAIR HOPPER!

I'm Tracy's hair DON'T.

I'm yet another student whose geometry education is prevented by Tracy's ratted hair.

I'm Penny's Mom totally scared of a harmless black guy bumming near Motormouth's record shop.

I'm Mrs. Shipley, the Special Ed teacher, who informs her class of today's activity (after the Pledge of Allegiance, of course):

"Now, as you all know, today is Special Education's turn at the dodgeball tournament. So let's get into the locker room, put on those gym outfits, and show them that Special Education is NOTHING TO LAUGH ABOUT!"

Im the Theme song...Hairspray....performed by the unequalled Rachel Sweet

[quote]I'm Josh Charles. I had a bit part but I ended up having the most successful career of anyone else in the movie.

Oh--so you were a mayor and a member of the House of Representatives?

I'm Sonny Bono and I seem out of place in a John Waters movie, but I somehow make it work.

I'm the huge fan of Hairspray and pretty much everything else Waters did before it, and I can't understand why he allowed them to make it into such a toothless, piece of shit musical.

I'm Edna Turnblad, trying to keep ahead of the pressing issues of the day:

"lt's not war with Cuba, is it? Or more Negro problems? Did poor Debbie Reynolds have a nervous breakdown?!"

[quote]I'm Sonny Bono and I seem out of place in a John Waters movie, but I somehow make it work.

It worked because it was a funny, clever film and you got pulled along. But your performance was flat.

[quote] and I can't understand why he allowed them to make it into such a toothless, piece of shit musical.

Gee, neither can I.

I'm Leslie Ann Powers. I was never in another movie before or after playing Penny Pingleton.

[quote]Oh, so you had a phenomenally popular talk show?

Had to appear on a talent show for D-listers to stay relevant.

[quote]Oh--so you were a mayor and a member of the House of Representatives?

Still dead.

I'm the big strong Jackie Gleason, then back to the Madison.

I'm Nadine Carver, and I think Lesley Gore ain't no James Brown — but I can dance to Lawrence Welk if I have to!

[quote] I ended up having the most successful career of anyone else in the movie

***ahem***

I'm Jackie Kennedy. Despite her hopped-up hair, Tracy ain't no First Lady like I am.

I'm Pia Zadora AND Ric Ocasek

I'm an integrationist! We SHALL overcome!

I'm the NAACP! Edna and Wilbur joined me!

I'm Mr. Pinky and I am a chubby-chaser!

I'm one of the June Taylor Dancers, whom Tracy might become!

I'm the colored record chosen as Amber's favourite song again.

I'm the mystique surrounding Miss Soft Crab in 1945.

I'm a tail feather. Shake me!

I'm the pocket book the mean mom used to beat her daughter out of the principal's office before Tracey goes in. You ain't seen nothin yet kid. Just wait until big purses are all the rage!

I'm the hairhopper hausfraus mobbing Tracy's school bus on Eastern Avenue looking for autographs!

I'm I.Q. - I wonder what those initials stand for.

I'm your personality flaws that the council will now meet in secret to debate.

I'm the methadone that Debbie Harry needed to get through the shoot.

I'm Lou Ann Leborowski. Look how big my hair is, I bet you wish yours was that high.

I'm the dickhead at Chrysalis who wouldn't allow Debbie Harry to record the soundtrack song (she does the spoken response on the intro though).