What's the appeal of cruising parks, public restrooms, saunas, etc.?

Quick.

Pot luck.

Danger.

The thrill of the hunt.

Why didn’t ask your husband and your sons frau?

Or, OP, as an alternative, ask R2's boyfriend/husband.

R1 has it right. Cruising these places is much faster than searching on line and both faster and more certain than a bar. The variety of men is huge (over time, not necessarily on any given night), and you can have sex with multiple men in a short space of time. And the hunt is fun - lots of fun. Who knows what hottie might lie around the next bend in the path?

Or, at least, so it was decades ago. I doubt it has changed much.

Oh, final point ... if you are aroused by "straight" married men, then a cruising spot is paradise.

Back in the day it was a great way to hook up with married on the down low, or straight guys dying for a blow job.

*to hook up with married men on the down low

Because that’s where you meet the straight married guys. The only kind I can be attracted to.

OP left out roadside rest areas.

It was almost like a drive-through.

I am 58 and still go to three rest areas at night, but the nearest is 40 miles away from Boston, the farthest 60 miles near Providence. Closer ones closed long ago or put up fencing.

It's nice to do it in the outdoors on a nice night.

Yes, it's sleezy and low class.

Nowadays, there can still be action at times, sometimes multiple cars parked and three or four guys in an orgy, but sometimes it's very slow.

Depends on the season and weather.

Good to come through and shine their spotlight but usually drive off when they don't catch anyone in the act.

Spontaneity can be quite titillating. Loos are often gross, so not something I'm drawn to, but I get it. Sauna or steam room one offs are hotter IMHO. They're less than private of course, so that is offensive to many, and I get that aspect as well. Discretion is key in both situations. Parks or Forest Preserves are my personal favourites for this sort of surprise. Truck stop showers can be fun too.

R9 I don't associate "class" with sex, and don't understand the connection. Legal or respectable I get, but more often upper class people I've known have been quite degenerate.

[quote] Why didn’t ask your husband and your sons frau?

Oh, DEAR!

[quote] OP left out roadside rest areas.

That would be implied under the "etc." at the end of the list

It was the thrill of the chase, and yes fun, so many married closeted guys, a fun time now lost...

Man's primal hunting-gathering instinct.

I know I will get slated for being a woman on these boards but I've learnt so much about men and sex from these posts. Men are driven so differently to women and I wish more women were aware of this. There really is a real deep need for men to have sex and I totally understand why 'straight' men would want to cruise. I wish as women we could be more like men, although it could be a recipe for disaster lol.

OP: it’s about sex not romance.

Glory days and glory holes. Sigh . . .

the smell of piss

Instant gratification

You want a guy to go a bar to meet someone if they want cruisy, lurid sex?

OP: that’s not how it works.

Try it out for yourself, OP

[quote]I know I will get slated for being a woman on these boards but I've learnt so much about men and sex from these posts. Men are driven so differently to women and I wish more women were aware of this. There really is a real deep need for men to have sex and I totally understand why 'straight' men would want to cruise.

It would be a mistake to think that the denizens of DL are representative of anyone or anything but DL.

Maybe it’s the thrill of meeting regular and gruff guy-next-door types. Saunas and gyms attract a more predictable crowd. Also: a lot of closeted bi married men are attracted to other men like themselves. They’re not into the pretty boy types that openly gay men tend to be drawn to.

Trollin trollin...

R15, jump into a greasefire, please.

R23-You mean the closeted married types aren't attracted to the SCENEY, QUEENY types of gay men. I'm sure they would be attracted to STRAIGHT ACTING types who happened to be PRETTY.

In the old days it was one of the few ways to meet up.

Everything old is retro again.

I’m 47 and only started getting with guys because of the internet. I was always turned off by the thought of sex in a bathroom or a park. It always seemed so dirty...bathrooms are a boner killer for me. But...I did have an SUV and had no problem hooking up in my car around the streets of LA in the early 2000s....but NEVER in a park or bathroom. I’d drive by Griffith Park in LA to cut over to Burbank and always noticed men sitting in their cars by themselves at all times of day. Just seemed to sketchy and desperate for me.

R11 SEX is the greatest equalizer between the rich and the poor. Stiff dicks have no conscience.

I don't do this anymore but saunas are different than the other venues. Relatively safe for instance.

A thrilling, real connection with a partner, not having to swipe a stupid app and have someone show up who totally is not that person on the app, the sexual energy was there in person, you millennials will never have that experience and that is why you cannot connect socially today face to face, it is all done in your basement in front of a screen , pathetic.

Geezer alert at r32

Idiot alert at R33

The Internet, e.g., Grindr, chat rooms, etc., are a waste of time. Restrooms, spas, saunas, bathhouses get to the heart off the matter quicker and you actually see the person and decide if you're turned on. Grindr takes all night if it even works after endlessly chatting, and who wants a stranger in your house anyway?

R32 is right about the sexual energy of meeting in person. Sometimes, a man can be hot just because of the way he carries himself, the persona he projects. You can't tell that from a profile on an app.

R15, right, men and women are very different sexually. But R22 is right as well in that the DL is not exactly representative of all gay men, let alone all men. It's like any self-selected group - it only represents the people who choose to be a part of it.

What is this, 1988?

It's called cottaging in England.

[quote]Laud Humphrey's Tearoom Trade, published in 1970, was a sociological analysis and observance between the social space public restrooms offer for anonymous sex and the men–either closeted, gay, or straight– who sought to fulfill sexual desires that their wives, religion, or social lives couldn't. The study, which was met with praise on one side due to its innovation and criticism on the other due to having outed "straight" men and risked their privacy, brought to light the multidimensionality of public restrooms and the intricacy and complexity of homosexual sex amongst self-identifying straight men.

As a bisexual, this shit is the reason I will not stick my dick in a guys ass ever. God only knows what pathogens await you in there. Guy looks like a laid back accountant but can't go into a park without spreading his cheeks for the vagrants there.

R40 has standards.

R40 hasn't heard of condoms, clearly.

I personally don't see the appeal of cruising parks and toilets, as I don't get off on the illicit thrill and the possibility of being caught, but there definitely is something to a cruisey environment like a gay sauna/bathhouse - it's just inherently exciting to be in a sex-positive, sexually-charged environment around other gay men who are all looking for sex. You never know who you might run into, as others have said there's an immediacy to it - if you like the look of them and they like the look of you, there's no endless back and forth arranging you can just get straight down to it, it's a controlled and neutral environment so you don't need to hook up at a stranger's house or have a stranger over to yours - generally I am massively supportive of saunas and sex clubs and think they still serve a purpose.

Cock.