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Tell him that. Be empathetic if he's disappointed. Your post is one of the better let downs I've seen.

Fake your own death.

I've been in his situation and appreciated the honesty R1 suggests. "Sorry, I just don't feel we're compatible."

Just ghost him. It's the new normal.

Do NOT ghost. It's immature and more hurtful than the actual rejection.

Post-It!

I’m not going to ghost. I want to let him down gently.

Tell him what you think. Be honest. It doesn't sound like you want to tear him down. When it comes down to it, if it's not going to work, it's as good for him to move on as it is to you.

Meet him for coffee. You can pull the old passive-aggressive “Where do you think this is going?”. Or you can dive under the table with the “It’s not you, it’s me”. Seems like you just want to deal with it.

So tell him. Tell him three objectively good qualities you see in him. Tell him you don’t think you’re a good fit romantically. Then, one of you should leave.

R9 cradles her mug.

R10 You’ve been dumped a lot, I can tell.

We have a date scheduled for Friday. We have only had one date before.

The issue is he wants to be tested constantly whereas I am the type of person who only wants to talk to you constantly if I know you intimately.

Do I owe him an in-person or should I break our date?

At this point I'd meet him in person for the scheduled date, be honest, then leave.

Just be kind - it doesn’t cost anything.

Personally I wouldn’t want to look forward to a date only to be dumped when I’m there. You could save him the time. But don’t do it by text or email.

That’s what I’m thinking too r15.

Take a new lover. Send old lover a sex tape of you and the new lover.

R12 Do it in person. Consider it practice. Its like going to the gym: you’re building skills. Otherwise you’re avoiding a conflict that may just exist in your mind.

Learning how to end it is a good skill to acquire.

You might have to be firm about this not being a match. I tried to be nice to a guy I wasn't interested in and he took that as a sign I might warm up and change my mind. He called for months until I finally told him it wouldn't work out. He sounded surprised and sent me a nasty text for leading him on. But he did stop texting me.

Just tell him "Something suddenly came up."

Lol @ r20

The classic "You're a nice guy...but" always creates hard feelings, but...there is no civilized alternative.

Just say you're incompatible. Just don't offer to be friends.

Just say: I'm sorry to say this but I don't feel the connection with you I like to feel. It's disappointing to me but it's where I find myself and I don't want to waste your time or mine so I wanted to show you the respect of being clear about it now. You're probably feeling the same thing (which whether he is or isn't, this leaves him a dignified out. If he takes it, home free, if he says but I'm not feeling that follow up with: That's the frustrating part and I'm sorry, but it's just not happening for me. I should go. Good luck. (and then get out fast.)

Does being with him make your dick hard? If so, manage the rest of his behavior and let him know what you want and what you don't want. I've had fucks like this, and they're easy to manage if you turn it into an every-Sunday-night fuck (or whatever works for you), with no other contact.

I don’t roll that way r25. I’m either all in or all out.

The it's not you it's me bit is pretty horrible. Just speak on the phone with him live and say the truth We're not compatible. Not a big deal. Honest direct and not unkind. No point in getting together

I don't see anything wrong with a text break up. You only went on one date with him. Just get it over with. You;ll feel much better with no anxiety lingering.

I think its shittier to have dinner with someone and then discover at the end that your intention was to kick me to the curb as soon aas the check arrived. To find out that the whole evening you were planning to drop a bombshell. Thats worse then an 'I'm not into you' text. a text is less humiliating.

I delivered the message via text. Will keep y’all updated.

I was straight up and he pretty much understood. Thanks, DL.

He probably did a happy dance, r31/OP, at the thought of not having to be with you ever again.

You’re so kind and appealing, r32.

If you’ve only had one date, I would send him a text. There’s not much invested at this point. I would hate to get all excited about my date only to get dumped. That happened to be once, it sucked.

[quote] How do I break this off and allow him to save face?

OP, are you Asian?

White, r35