I HATE the beach

I love a home on the water for the view but I have no interest in going outside, and certainly I'm not getting in the water. Also, I hate being out in the sun and prefer overcast days.

I hate it too, unless it's sunset when it's really beautiful. I hate everything associated with it: the heat, crowds, the feel of suntan lotion on my skin, and sand sticking to me, the possibility of a shark attack.

OP - Hatred of beach culture is a popular opinion among smart, rational people.

For 30 I lived less Han 5 miles from the Atlantic Ocean. I rarely went. Now I’m in Denver and love the mountains!

I like quiet scrappy little beaches, and I like middle-class beach towns in France and Italy. America's east coast beaches are vast and sublime and a often overwhelming.

I'm with you, OP. I enjoy water & swimming, but I don't [bold]do[/bold] sand. I have a place in the mountains I love; the beach can go pound sand!

I live on a lake and we have a small beach. I love the view, but in reality, you can only swim for about 10 weeks out of the year. I do enjoy waking up to a water view however. Nothing like it.

I love the sound of the waves crashing. There is something about the movement of the ocean that a mountain can't compare. I love the mountains too and get great comfort from them. Nothing can compare to the ocean and mountain meeting.

I agree I’ve been to many peoples lake houses in the mountains and there’s nothing more peaceful. I totally agree with everything you guys are saying. The suntan lotion, the sand, the traffic, the surf bros. The heat bothers me as well… I’d much rather it be overcast or in a house with air-conditioning. Im usually the one in the condo watching TV while everybody else is outside getting burned.

I am with you OP, seems are over reacting about getting slammed. I live on a very small lake with no beach or sand and the HOA doesn't allow swimming, boating for fishing, not that I would do any of those things anyway. I probably haven't been to a real beach in over 30 years.

I love living on the lake though, the ducks, even watching the fish in the water, the turtles, the eagles diving into the water to catch fish is all very entertaining and I love living here. One of the nicest things is no neighbor living behind me, a lake is a better neighbor every day of the year.

I like the beach, but I love the mountains.

our lake house on Lake Michigan had no beach this year due to highest water levels. It went from yard to water with beach all washed away.

I’d rather poke my eyes out and go to some Caribbean island with fruity drinks.

Michigan has the most amazing lakes and cities up north

Larvotto is a surprisingly scrappy free beach in Monaco of all places. Man made, very clean water.

I grew up near the largest bay in the US and we went to the beach very often during the season. We also caught blue crabs which we ate. I try to go to the beach one week a year. It just brings back those memories of my childhood.

I grew up in a summer community that had a small beach (about a 100 ft long.) Our lives were controlled by the tides. There was a raft and we had a small rowboat with a 15hp motor. We dug our own clams. A two bedroom cottage for 6 of us.

It was bliss.

Toxic seaweed, red tide, violent infections, stay away!

gosh r13, no need to self-harm!

I live in a beach community in Southern California, and I, too, don't like the beach. I like the harbor and the calm water there. I like dining in restaurants that have a water view and seeing the boats float by. And the sunsets are amazing in my area.

Also when people live near the beach, they mellow out. In L.A./hollywood everyone is psycho crazy, and then you get to Marina Del Rey and the vibe is totally opposite. Super chill.

R20 The term mellow and laid back go w beach culture.

Rather be in the mountains in 40F weather

Beaches would be more pleasant if there were more beach haters in the world.

Sand under your foreskin is not pleasant.

I've lived in the LA area for 32 years and I've probably been to the beach fewer than five times. However I went yesterday with a group excursion where I didn't have to drive, and it was all planned out. No crowds, no traffic (for me anyway), no hassles at all. And I thought -- if I lived closer to that beach area (it was in southern OC), I'd probably go more often, since I could avoid most of the traffic and go during the week when it wasn't as busy. It was a gorgeous day and it was so pleasant there.

I love all the Men's Sexy Barefeets.

I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

So romantic Anakin.

I hate how cold the water is, the seaweed, the jellyfish, how you can’t see what you might be stepping on, the heat, and getting caught in undertows and being afraid of imminent death. Other than that, it’s ok.

There are few things more uncomfortable than walking home when your shoes are full of sand.

The ocean is the toilet for millions of creatures, including some humans. Gross. Pretty to look at and even to listen to, but no need to actually get too near it. And sand isn't much better.

I love beaches, but never sit or lie down on them.

Beaches are for walking, preferably right at the water’s edge.

I partially grew up at the beach. It no longer holds any allure for me. I mean, beaches are nice but I much prefer the forest or the mountains. Beaches usually come with too many people who ruin the experience.

I haven't actually swum in the sea since I was about 12, but walking on the beach with few people around is one of life's pleasures.

Then don't go.

You’re supposed to have a pool and only look at the beach and enjoy it for only for leisurely evening walks.

It’s horribly filthy.

Oceanography major. Partner and I live on the water's edge. In the water everyday. SCUBA, etc..

The more that hate the beach and hate the water, the better.

Thankful for this thread...You all stay away😁

I don't mind the beach as long as it's bro-free. Nothing disturbs the sound of the water more than bro-this, bro-that, volleyballs etc. and bro-chortles.

[quote] I will say there’s something a little less white trash about a Lake House.

Could be one of the the top 10 DLCAS statements of all time. (Extra points for Trumpian capitalization technique.)

I am not at all surprised that many DLers hate the beach. It's very much in line with many of the personalities on here.

Hilarious!

I love the beach but sometimes it's just too sunny for my fair skin.

More beach for me! I don’t want to broil out there like a hot dog, but I love walking on or at the beach or biking. The air is so fresh and salty. Plus, shorts, swimwear or athletic wear is usually the norm. Win!

I don't get the beach. It's OK, but I don't share the love affair with it that so many do. People look at you like you have two heads if you admit you're not really into it.

But why?

The ocean reminds me of death.

The ocean is teeming with life, threatening us all with oblivion.

I like the ocean, but I don't like "the beach" as most Americans picture it (sun, white sand, blah blah.) I love a nice dramatic rocky shoreline, like they have in BC.

Not to mention all the pigs who come to my beach and leave massive amounts of litter strewn everywhere. OP is totally right. Worst thing is, beach-loving people stay permanently at mental age 18 years old. Beach is synonymous with out-of-control partying, no matter who these damn locals and tourists are. They bring their dogs to crap everywhere. There are dirty diapers, and metal detector weirdos. When I had to move near the beach, I started surfing. Now I go, surf, leave. All before 8 am. The only way I can stand the beach.

Some DLers seem unaware that not all beaches are Myrtle or Destin or Jones

A lot of people and I mean a lot of people who grow up in tropical countries with lots of beaches hate it. Half of my family is from Brazil and they all hate the heat and the beach.

They spend their vacations in the US with us and love snow and skiing.

What's not to love?

OP, I agree. You pack up all your crap, and then you carry around your heavy bag looking for a spot on the sand that doesn't have too much trash on it. A few minutes later, some asshole sets up camp just a few feet away, and they have a boombox with shitty music. You go in the water, cut your feet on shells and dodge seaweed, the whole time being anxious that you'll be attacked by a jellyfish or shark. A wave knocks you over and drags you back to shore, the entire time, foaming water burning the inside of your nose, and sand and shells scratching your knees, elbows, and back. You get out of the water, go back to your spot on the beach, and the EXACT second you begin to feel somewhat dry, you have to pee. There's no way in hell you're going into that 110-degree F filthy toilet shack, so you walk back into the ocean deep enough to pee without anyone noticing. The cycle repeats. Later when you get home, you discover you have a horrible sunburn, and now you will age prematurely and possibly develop skin cancer later. Just because you wanted to go to the beach.

I don't wanna be on the beach. (No Fun!!)

Those of you who hate the beach just need to find better beaches.

I'd hate a situation as described by R52 as well

But have never actually been to a beach remotely like that.

Those in LA know the only beaches to go to are in the South Bay. Manhattan Beach, for example, does not have huge, inexpensive parking lots. There is little parking and it is expensive. Hence, the beaches are never crowded and littered with trash.

I used to live in La Jolla, and the beach below Torrey Pines is one of the most beautiful I have been to. Nothing better thank hiking down to the uncrowded beach. Sadly, I think much of the beach there is now eroded.

LA south beaches? Will Rodgers is beautiful as are all the Santa Monica beaches. The ones you go to are stingray-ish

I have a sun allergy!

I'm actually terrified of the ocean. Hurricanes, tidal waves, stingrays and sharks? No thank you. But, whenever I admit that, I'm very quickly pilloried. I'm Midwestern. I've known people from the East Coast who've been freaked out by endless waves of corn. My peoples took their cardboard suitcases and traveled over on the boat to get away from Europe's teeming shores. And they got as far away from America's shores once they arrived. Please don't hate on me for being a Midwestern corn-fed boy. I'm still a gay boy who represents a blue vote in the heartland.

What about Blacks, r55? I love beaches as long as they are nude.

I love the beach and the ocean, but don't particularly care if someone else hates it. As for "beach culture," if you're talking about something like schlepping out to Jones Beach from NYC for the day and dealing with the kind of people who go there, yes, that's gross. But staying in a beach house at a beautiful and uncrowded private beach is a different story.

Wow I feel like I’m among friends here. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned down invitations to go to the Caribbean. People look at me like I have two heads: I agree there’s nothing more boring than dragging on your shit out and sitting in the sand all day long. I’d rather be in a cabin with the snow falling around me drinking a hot cup of tea.

Yes, the key to enjoying the beach is to look at the ocean from the comfort of an oceanfront home (or, if you must, hotel), sauntering forth every now and then for a swim, the retreating to the air-conditioned refuge.

I’m your friend that swims in the pool and the hot tub at the resort while everybody’s at the beach for 12 hours a day. My friends call me antisocial because I don’t want to go out on the beach and participate..

If you’re gay you’re supposed to like the beach. It’s in our DNA to be 65 years old romping around with 75 of your closest friends in pink floats

Love the beach and spend every free minute in the water. I grew up a mile or two from the beach and I learned to surf when I was seven. My mam thought I wanted to learn because I spent so much time staring at the lovely lads. Keep hating it. Fewer people at my favourite spot.

I like to go to the beach in the late afternoon. If it's a week day (not a weekend), that's even better. Less people, sun is not high in the sky, blazing, etc.

I have to say that the beach in Vieques was really great. It had clear, blue water so you could see everything, white soft sand, trees providing shade, perfect temperature in the water, and a soft lulling gentle surf with no undertow. I like to be tan which is wrong, I know, but having brown legs and arms makes me happy. Oh, and the other thing about Vieques—-no people!!! You can find a beach of your own. There are wild horses, sea turtles and lizards. I usually despise the beach, because I’m on the east coast of the USA but this was something else!

Vieques is indeed amazing, R67

And seems to be mostly recovered from Maria at this point.

Yes, YMF, I was glad to see that. One of the reasons I chose to go there was to give the island some tourist income. Luckily, a lot of others were doing the same.

I like the beach, but I don’t want to spend the whole damn day there.

R70, thank you for leaving. Please take the idiot with the boombox with you.

I like porn that takes place on the beach.

People say they feel a sense of calm or peace on the beach but I feel the opposite. I feel claustrophobic!

I can enjoy a beach of cliff seaside like anyone but I'm always slightly on edge. I keep feeling the urge to walk in the opposite direction away from the water and find civilization.

I don't even really feel all that comfortable by lakes or rivers. I don't hate them, but I just feel "off" the whole time and can't really relax. Different strokes...

I love land-locked nature, hikes, plains, forests, meadows, mountains, cliffs, trails, deserts, etc.

Anyone who claims "sex on the beach" is special or euphoric, is a masochist or a liar. There's this thing called "sand?" Which is actually like tiny grains of ground glass? And it's everywhere. And sex involves moist, soft orifices and membranes. You do the math.

You would think in the water would be better but it's worse, the sand is all in the water. Gritter in your shitter!

There's an entire generation of people uneasy about the beach all because of JAWS.

R73 Omg I agree w u 100%

I have become so neurotic on beaches that I even consider the possibility of a tsunami. I know it won’t ever happen to me, but I’ll never forget Nate Berkus’ husband who disappeared in the tsunami, and Petra Nemcova’s crushed pelvis while she clung to the top of a palm tree being attacked by fire ants for 12 hours until she could be rescued. I’ll take the Woods, thank you!

And I agree about bathrooms. I used to go to LBI a lot, but by the time you park, drag your shit (burning your feet), dig a hole for your umbrella, lay out a spot, eat pre-made food that gets sand in it...... then you either need to pee or the tide comes in and you have to move everything. Going to the bathroom is a one hour affair, you’d have to trek off the beach, walk another half mile to the bagel store, and then of course, you had to make a purchase so that you could use the can.

The last time I went had seagulls literally snatch bagels directly out of my hand twice on the same visit! The time before there were horseflies that bit so hard you bled. And often the water is so cold you can’t enjoy it anyway. I’m absolutely over it. Also, the rude fucks who own the little motel I stayed at are monsters.

OP has gotten sand in her vagina for the last time.

Lot of people here don't know how to do the beach.

I love the beach. It is really one of the only places you see people being themselves. I go almost every weekend. The people-watching is fantastic and you see all kinds of life stories going on around you. Being in the water and being sloshed around is relaxing and just laying under an umbrella snoozing is great, listening to the waves and the background noises of people having fun.

R52, here. About 20 years ago, I visited the beach at a time during which an oncoming hurricane made the water particularly rough. As I was tossed and turned by the waves, a grain of sand became lodged in my urethra. Though the pain subsided after a day and a half, I suspect that it's still in there now.

Don't piss off the sharks. Once you register on a shark's olfactory radar, that shark will never forget you. Sharks have a keen sense of smell. In fact, if you live in Nevada, then when you drive or fly towards the California coast, your scent grows stronger to the shark. A shark in Oregon will turn around and start swimming south in anticipation of your arrival at a California beach.

It’s probably a pearl by now, r81

R82 lolololololol!!!!!

OP types fat.

r81=Hank Hill

Growing up by the ocean, I don't much like lakes. I'm a bit frightened of them. I was about to dive into Lake Windermere and saw a dead bird float past and promptly headed back to the BBQ area. That would never bother me at the seaside.

No wonder you are all a bunch of cunts. What are your thoughts on chocolate? Massages? The opera? A good run?

The only good thing about places like Myrtle beach are the rugged college twinks and shirtless frat boys on summer break or a few hot dads. Otherwise give me a rocky beach, even if there’s no hot shirtless men around,

I walk across 3 beaches nearly every week day, with my feet in the water. I live only one block from the beach and my postal box is 3 suburbs away which I deliberately planned so I could do the walk.

I like the beach, but not the Poors who stink it up.

I have had 2 days of hard rain so have forsaken the beach walks but did a short one this afternoon when the sun came out. Lots of jellyfish and seaweed washed up on shore. More rain is forecast tomorrow but Friday is clear so hope to do another long walk then.