Happy heterosexual, not at all gay, couples

Sometimes power heterosexuals are too busy to see each other. When that happens, there's photoshop.

How dare you question Vod!!!!!

You can see the heterosexuality oozing out of this pair.

hotttt

I can read lips.

At OP this Hiddleston character is telling the gentlewoman that Monsieur Asticot, his West End legitimate-theatre mentor, trained him in the dark arts of arcane bra-fitting and he's offering to measure her and handcraft a foundational garment sturdy enough to contain her ample-yet-exhausted feminine charms. So brazen. Eeeek!

I hate to think such filthy thoughts, but I do fear for the unsuspecting lady that this is nothing more than a ploy to get his grubby heterosexualist paws on her...you know, her above-the-waist frontal area.

Please Jesus, let me be wrong.

Look at those saggy tits in OP.

You can see the heated tongue war between the two.

So hot!

But of course

Why are her tits at her waist? They aren’t even big enough to have such epic sag. I hopes she ties a sash around her waist or they’ll hang out the hem. Jesus.

Wow, I didn’t even see her saggers. What’s up with that? Those are granny-level.

There are women who do not give a single fuck about wearing a bra. I wouldn’t figure her to be one of them.

I guess it's part of the game, if you don't have a hot romance make one up. If you are a young pop star show no romantic interests so your fans can fantasize. If you are a young pop star with some out of control gay rumours that you want to bat down, get a hot romance with a member of the opposite sex. If you are a big star who is gay and wants to come out as gay don't expect to get starring roles in big international movies - especially comic book hero movies.

Get a room, you guys 🤦‍♂️

Clenched fists to symbolise the strength of our love

Mama Gyllenhaal bearing witness witness to one of the greatest love stories ever told.

Matt Dallas and Blu Cantrell looked so hot together.

"Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!) [Remix Radio Mix] [feat. Foxy Brown]" by Blu Cantrell is on the May 2002 Gap In-Store Playlist.

What do I win?

We win, bitches!

Damn, you all weren't kidding about the saggy titties of Tom Hiddleston's paramour. Her stylist (or friends) must secretly hate her guts letting her go out like that.

Wait, never mind -- WE win!

Don't forget Tom Hiddleston's short-lived romance with co-star, Kat Dennings. The expression on his face says it all.

Michael Stipe and Natalie Merchant

Someone do Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick, I can't find a good pic of them together

Simon Woods and Rosamund Pike

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Richard Armitage and Samantha Colley

I'm gonna give you the hottest kiss of your life, bitch!

The unbridled passion!

Whew! So sexy! So hetero!

Wow! I thought I had this won but r30 upstaged mine. The awkward make out in front of mom is actually less cringeworthy.

I love kissing my wife in public! Especially after I was accused on sexually assaulting masseurs!

Everyone's favorite straight couple, Will and Jada

Patrick Dempsey and his first "wife"

Aaron Rodgers loves Danica so much he just wants to grab her face and squeeze it as hard as he can! He is also a gentleman and respects her personal space.

Thread over

Good girl!

Aaron is a red blooded male! Can’t keep his hands off the ladies!

Why couldn't these two crazy kids work it out?

Lovebirds!😍🥰

He took time out from fucking Kristy to choreograph this parking-meter shot.

I Heart TS

To be fair to Will and Jada, they're supposed to be actually into each other. But in an open marriage that allows them to sleep only with partners of the same sex.

Oh, the babies they'd have had.

Hugh Jackman is really close to his grandma

How many takes do you think this took?

^ That looks sooooo posed! It looks like they're trying to recreate a J. Crew photoshoot

I’m laughing my ass off.

Katie Holmes has the worst legs. No, wait. Rihanna’s might be worse.

This thread is hilarious! Who is that with Kristy McNichol at r42?

Alex Skaarsgard and Ellen Page

That’s Joey Corsaro at R42. He was Kristy’s painfully heterosexualist boyfriend, and also her hairdresser.

[quote]Earlier this year she announced that 23-year-old hairdresser Joey Corsaro was her “everything.” Now, though, she has backpedaled. “People seemed to think that Joey and I were almost married,” says Kristy, who still dates Corsaro occasionally. “I’m 19 years old, and I should be able to see who I want.”

[quote]When she acquired her first home last year, Kristy planned to share it with her pal Ina Liberace—makeup artist and niece of you-know-who. About this time the whispers began to fly. “It goes with Hollywood, I guess,” McNichol says. “It’s because I act like a tomboy in my movies. Well, I’m not into being gay—and I don’t like the rumors at all.”

And who's that with Ellen?

Kristy's "roommate" was Liberace's niece? Bwa!

Remember when Ellen DeGeneres "dated" Johnathon Schaech? I'm too lazy to look for pics now, but there were some hysterical pictures of them on the red carpet together.

So romantic!

Is it considered normal in American culture to make out in front of your parents?

R56 ruined this thread. All other pictures are nice and amusing to look at.

Pence always looks so.....pained.

I’m struck by the contrast of OP’s pic with the pics of Hiddles sitting next to his not-so-secret bf. With the woman, they’re seated with so much space between them that you’d think they were strangers who happened to be in adjacent seats at an event. With the bf, he sits so close that their arms are touching from shoulder to elbow so they can be slyly intimate while looking straight ahead at the tennis match.

Which pic r60?

rrrrrrrr

America's sweethearts!

I have to vote for George Michael and Brooke Shields. Even Brooke wasn't in on the scam. She just thought he really respected her. Brooke would later say, "he was so respectful and I didn’t feel pressured".

R63 That picture was already posted. Do try to keep up.

The ultimate

R61...

Tom Hiddleston also took Jane Arthy to a tennis match in 2013. Tom looked happy with her.

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You wicked, clever bitches, I've been laughing my ass off at this thread. Thank you. I love you all.

poor Keanu -- it's obvious that he hates bearding

Brooke Shields and Michael Jackson made a lovely couple.

Isn't love grand? Such beautiful and happy couples!

You can fly a plane between them.

The one with Ellen gazing into that guys’ eyes has me cracking up!😂

^ I thought it was one of her comedy skits.

Does anyone have any pictures of Lily Tomlin and Paul Lynde?

Notice in all the pictures posted of Aaron Rodgers and Danica that she doesn’t put her hands on him when he “kisses” her? In one she even has her hands in her pockets.😄 So awkward.

Danica Patrick is more butch than Jessica Biel, she was a NASCAR driver FFS.

The general public is incredible gullible if they actually believe that relationship (Rodgers + Patrick) is real

Scott Caan and the mother of his child

Has anyone mentioned these two crazy kids yet?

^ Wow, I had completely forgotten that those two "dated"

WHET happened to Manti Te’o? Last I heard of him he was resting his gigantic head on some poor woman’s shoulder and daring the camera to not combust under the searing heat of their passion.

It’s so nice that he found love again after his one true soulmate died....in a car accident....of which there was no record...on her way to a chemo appointment....on the same day his grandmother died.

The lust! The passion!

R81 That Seacrest...Women just can’t stay away.

R15 I love how his boyfriend, his actual date to the Oscars, is just standing there. Not even bothering to take a step back.

LOL

Does David Spade belong to our tribe? I always assumed he was one of us but I'm not sure.

I thought if ANY couple would make it, it would have been these two!

Irina Shayk has to be a lesbian, no?

first she beards for the super heterosexual Ronaldo then the uber macho Bradley Cooper. She also has [bold]crazy chemistry[/bold] with the openly lez Stella Maxwell while having [bold]NONE[/bold] with any of her merkins

Princess Tiny Meat and Maniston

How did Brad Pitt fly under the gay radar for so long? Was he being protected?

R91 [quote]Was he being protected?

pretty much, good agent, manager, PR, etc...

Calvin Klein and his wife

Barry Diller and Diane

What do you make of John Travolta and Kelly Preston? They never look uncomfortable around each other. Best friends?

John Travolta just came out as bald a few months ago. At his daughter's urging. He'll probably come out when he's 80, and too old to work. Then he'll start dating a 24-year-old man.

R95 Has Kelly ever talked about John's gay rumors? Does she not care if she is considered a joke?

She is a Scientologist. She will never admit he's gay.

So every man on this thread is gay?

The point is, Preston and Travolta seem like actual friends.

R100 I always got that vibe from Hugh Jackman & Deborra-Lee. Not a sexual relationship but legit platonic love.

Joel Grey and his first wife

Mr. and Mrs. Joe Simpson

The Soccer games are getting bad.

R104 Wrong thread?

By a mile. It was meant for the 'Is France Homophobic' thread. As the old folks used to say ... "Epic Fail"!

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Next person Irina latches on to might as well just come out.

I wonder if she'll date Jeremy Renner next!

I declare r41 the winner!

I know, right R110? She's even wearing lavender.

LMAO!! If you Google "lavender marriages" John Travolta and Kelly Preston are the first to come up. I know they've been mentioned on this thread, I just thought it was funny that they are the #1 fake couple on Google.

Someone post some pics of Tim Tebow and his "fiancee"

Remember when they ruled Hollywood?

^I don't remember Cruise being so fat.

Everyone looks fat when they're standing next to Nicole Kidman.

Yes, she has the body of an undernourished 13 year old boy who has never seen the sun.