It’s About Time We Discussed Toxic Femininity

Are we ready to talk about this now?

A while ago, I found on Twitter a thread in which lesbians talked about their experience with "toxic femininity". From what I understood from the conversation, toxic femininity consists of a woman's tendency to pretend to be helpless, fragile, or incapable in order to manipulate her partner, guilt trip him or her, make him or her work harder on behalf of the relationship, etc.

Unfortunately, the concept never took off in social media discourse as did its male version, but, taking into account the behavior of certain women, especially white women of a certain social status, caught on video pretending helplessness in order to get other people in trouble, it's hard not to think of "toxic femininity" again.

And as the video in r1 makes clear, it's not just lesbians in homosexual relationships who suffer from "toxic femininity". But I find it difficult to believe that either social media or mainstream media are ready to hear any man detail and analyze his experiences with the phenomenon.

R2 you can’t have it both ways. You can’t be CEO and turn on crocodile tears when you get called on the carpet.

Straight/Bi Women want to flash tit and get ahead, while playing victim when convenient. They lack reason and accountability.

r3 I'd like to know where is this universe where every man is a CEO and in a position of power. Just looking to better more condition, that's all.

Wouldn't some of those scenarios she presents make the woman a SOCIOPATH, not a toxic feminist?

[quote]It’s About Time We Discussed Toxic Femininity

I take a shower every day! What more do you people want from me???

R5 what, Incoherent lunatic?

Toxic femininity and toxic heterosexual Male egos go together. Men still like to live under the illusion that they are the masters and rulers so women developed.these coping skills.

r8 I'M SAYING I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE IS IT THIS PLACE WHERE ALL MEN ARE CEOS, BECAUSE I COULD USE THE UPGRADE, DUMMY.

r9 One problem: women also experience toxic femininity from other women. As I said above, I was first introduced to the concept by lesbians on Twitter.

And can we actually stop trying to explain away every obnoxious thing women do as merely a reaction to men? It's irritating and inaccurate.

R11 - no way is it a reaction to ONLY men BUT it is a self-defense mechanism I have used (NOT complaining about minorities) when I saw that I was being bullied or pushed around by both men in the power structure and right wing bitches because sometimes you have to save your ass when you are a woman alone in the world so you need to say you are being bullied and need help. If you are a woman you can be outnumbered fast by the white, hetero male hierarchy and their enabling women (think Republican women).

All gender stereotypical, adopted behaviors are toxic. I'm glad we're finally, maybe realizing this. Toxic masculinity created toxic femininity. All these gender stereotypes are outdated, stupid and destructive.

R12 is a fucking cunt.

R13 I find it hilarious that everyone acts like women are docile little flowers. That’s not even true anymore. #bossbabe

Straight Women control straight men with their pussies, sorry but straight white upper & upper middle class women control the world, they are the gatekeepers. Whenever people talk about women they act like they’re all defenseless little crack whores who just got beat up by their last trick.

Why are some of you so fixated on the behavior of women? Were your mothers that fucked up and shitty to you? I have never spent this kind of time thinking about anybody with a clam before in my life.

R16 THINK OF THE PRECIOUS WOMEN!!!!!

Rule of thumb : the women who whine the loudest about their damsel in distress vulnerability are usually the most powerful, protected, and socially connected in American society.

Good article, OP.

Oh yes one has met ones share of toxic women. They manipulate using their femininity and then go for the jugular with finesse. They are also vile to other women who are younger and prettier than them.

Does toxicity of dubious femininity count? G comes to mind.

Not all women are nasty and horrible, but the ones that are are worse than most men. They start early too. Middle school boys can be bullying assholes, and physically intimidate those smaller, smarter, gayer, etc... than them. Middle schools girls wage all out psychological warfare against each other. I have a sister that is two years younger, and watching her and her friends periodically choose one of their group to ostracize and torture was a valuable education.

Mean girls is not a joke, and quite frankly, is mild compared to what I saw from her and her friends, as well as other groups of girls at school. Rarely did it devolve into a physical fight, but when it did, girls fight DIRTY.

Social competition among women is definitely rough but easily avoided if you have self esteem. What I find most toxic are the women who defer and cater to men, despite any hurt that man may cause. I'm thinking for example, of women who stick by their pedophile boyfriends/ husbands/fathers. FUCK those toxic women

Women are the worst! Why do we need them anyway???

It's the same universe R10 where all women are hot blondes under the age of 20 who can manipulate a man to do whatever they want

An essay on "Medium," OP? Why, they have only the highest editorial standards there!

Cunts are nuts.

R23, you remind me of a certain type I came to know. Liberal white women who marry conservative men. Before marrying, they have a million of things to say about politics and why republicans are wrong and they will let you know. Once they marry, they then always defer to their husbands political opinion. And when talk of politics me gets heated, they want the guys to be quiet and change the subject.

My problem is female politicians and journalists pulling this card. Oh, I can have no criticism! It is mysnogistic! I am being attacked for being female. Very tired of it. That behavior is toxic.

How about if we just ignore and avoid it?

[quote]Not all women are nasty and horrible, but the ones that are are worse than most men.

We agree!

R2 I think this article touches on it. And something that we've talked about here before.

It's not saying All Women Are Bad. But it IS saying that, like toxic masculinity traits, women are often raised to manipulate others to get what they want.

The author is a woman of color and talks about it specifically as a tool used whenever black women do anything normal within their jobs (offer constructive criticism, call out something that wasn't completed, etc.) but I am a white guy and totally recognize the behavior she describes here.

Sick of the AWFLs. I’m so glad the term “Karen” came about to put them in their place.

R29 you all love her for some reason I’ll never understand, but Hillary was the queen of this.