Hold me closer, Tony Danza and other misheard Lyrics

Had a friend who swore the lyrics to Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls was 'Go, go Jason waterfalls'. We had a fight over it. He was a dickhead

I used to think the One Day at a Time theme song said “so whop on your feet” until I heard the Gloria Estafan version

Hot Potatoes Hot Potatoes oh oh Hot Potatoes

Amadeus by Falco

I also knew a girl who thought the Edge of Seventeen was “just like a one winged love”. She told me “Like a White Winged Dove” would sound stupid!🙄

In all that body lotion/Somewhere there’s a loving flame (Haunted by the notion/Somewhere there’s a love in flames)

From Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away”

OP, I know people who thought it was “Hold me close and tie me down sir.”

Misheard antisemitic line in the Mary Tyler Moore theme song (probably a reference to her friend, Rhoda):

[itslic]Who can turn the world on with her smile? Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

With a Jew girl, and you should know it, with each glance and every little movement you show it…[/italic]

R6 That line improves the song!

R6 That line improves the song!

I thought Neil Diamond was singing about "Reverend Blue Jeans."

I thought they were singing about "dancing Jews" in Bruno Mars' "Marry Me" song from Kurt's father and Finn's mother's wedding on Glee.

"There's a bad moon on the rise" = "There's a bathroom on the right."

Until the lyric websites starting cropping up, I never understood that

"Wrapped up like a douche, another rotor in the night"

was actually supposed to be

"Revved up like a deuce another runner in the night."

You're So Vain-Carly Simon:

I had some dreams , they were clowns and they caught me...

'Scuse me while I kiss this guy

The theme to the Nanny:

Instead of "watch out , CC!" I heard "Waashow, CC!" I thought they were singing in French.

What does "waashow" mean in French, r16?

In the song Champagne Supernova by Oasis, it sounds like he's singing "One day you will find me carpeting the landslide...."

Every song Tori Amos has ever recorded

Reverend Blue Jeans

"From the fears that are inside of me" = "May it please the Lord of Sodomy"

On a dark desert highway,

Cool whip in my hair...

Bad Medicine by Bob Jovi.

Got to admit I’m a fan of 1963-1985 music. So anything songs beyond 1985 that I like or know are very few.

I used to hear this song periodically on the radio. And perhaps it was just from not really paying attention to it, but I could’ve sworn each time they were singing:

She moves just like Ted Danson. Ted Danson is what I mean.

For the longest time I’d try to identify the song by humming it to others, trying not to have to say Ted Danson, so as not to come off like a fool.

I finally heard it on the radio a few years back and the deejay said Bob Jovi was the artist, so I did a quick lyric search.

Knowing the correct lyrics now, I don’t hear the Ted Danson lines anymore. But back then I could’ve sworn that’s what was being sung.

“So any songs beyond...”

I never understood why Delta Dawn walked around town with a tool case in her hand, Was she a car mechanic? Someone finally pointed out to me it was "suitcase".

What’s that flower you’ve got on!😍

"I'm your penis, I'm your fire of joy desire"..... Still think this makes sense.....

R27 To be fair, it makes sense

Hold me closer Tony Danza, count the head lice on the highway

Canadian national anthem - Oh, Canada, we stand on cars and freeze

Destiny's Child - Jumpin' Jumpin'

Ladies leave your men at home, The club is full of ballers and their cock is full grown

[Bad Medicine by Bob Jovi]

Oh, dear.

Hush, hush. Keep it down, down. You're so scary.

(Voices Carry as sung by a moron I used to date.)

My all-time favorite is Alex the Seal instead of Our Lips Are Sealed.

I always thought it was, “I’m a pool hall ace,” when it was actually “How my poor heart aches.”

Every Breath You Take

'Where's your hair net' for 'Where's your head at' by Basement Jaxx.

Slow Cousin Walter instead of Smoke in the Water.

I was about four or five years old when the Bee-Gees song, More Than a Woman was released and it seemed to be constantly playing on the radio and the whole time I thought they were singing, 'Bald-headed woman...bald-headed woman to me'. Seriously, I think I was about ten before I realized that couldn't possibly be the lyrics...

Also thought Steven Nicks was singing, 'Just like the One Winged Duck...' in Edge of Seventeen

"There was doo doo in the bath..."

Atlanta Rhythm Section: So Into You (There was voodoo in the vibes)

I spent a whole car trip from Detroit o NYC trying to figure out wha the real words to “the Israelites “ were

R13, to be fair that's actually what the song sounds like! I still have no idea how Manfred Mann got "revved" to sound so much like "wrapped."

My favourite is this classic : the hymn "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear".

Don't let your son go down on me (well, it was Elton John)

[quote]Not the Oh, dear troll.

No, r32. When you "oh, dear," you [italic]are[/italic] Oh, Dear.

"Hold Me Closer Tony Danza" is a big time meme.

There are even t-shirts

Lesbians and femme DLers can even get their own versions

Biggest meme is Jimi Hendrix "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy" ("Excuse me, while I kiss the sky") which even he himself used to slip into his performances on purpose.

It was even a joke on "Friends" about 25 years ago.

Let's lay this on the green.

"The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind"

I thought initially that the Aerosmith song 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' was "Do me like a lady!"

In J Lo’s song with LL Cool J “All I Have” I thought she was saying “All My Pride is all I Have, You’ll be mean to me but too bad”.

It’s “You’ll be needing me but too bad”

Karma Chameleon by Culture Club

I thought it was “Come on come on come on come on come on Chameleon”

"blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche bag in the middle of the night"

I convinced my sister that the lyrics in Benny & the Jets were "She's got electric boobs" Also convinced her that Bee Gees Jive Talkin' as really "Jack Offin'"

From The Steve Miller Band: “Billy Joe shot a man while robbing White Castle.”

My friend thought The Steve Miller Band was singing : “Billy Joe shot a man while robbing White Castle.”

My friend thought The Steve Miller Band was singing “Billy Joe shot a man while robbing White Castle.”

My friend thought The Steve Miller Band was singing “Billy Joe shot a man while robbing White Castle.”

I’m sorry about the multiple posts!

In the Reba version of Fancy I knew someone who thought the line "We didn't have money for food or rent To say the least we were hard pressed" was "We didn't have money for food or rent To say the least we were breast." especially because the video shows the mother breastfeeding around when the line is sung. They said it meant they were so poor even her breasts had dried up. They also swore that she sings "I charmed a king, a congressman and an occasional arrest for crack" instead of "I charmed a king, a congressman and an occasional aristocrat."

"Chicken vagina, the Chinese chicken" - One Week, Barenaked Ladies

I was convinced that was what he was saying. I still say it that way although I know it's not.

If you listen closely, Johnny Rivers sings Secret "Asian" man, not Agent Man,

"In your ass, I long to be / room by room, patiently"

Like a Stone by Audioslave

There's a line in Supernova by Liz Phair that I thought for years was "Sharon Stone's ass" but it was "cherub's bare wet ass"

Mondegreen !

Gonna take my horse to my hotel room

Got a flamin’ whore, can’t get my fill (Got a flamin’ heart)

— from Zeppelin’s “Black Dog”

We don't need no Hamburg gay son!

Hey bleacher! Throw those kids a bone!

"Chug-a-lug, it's driving me mad, it's making me crazy."

Wow, all of you are complete fucking morons. How do you remember to breathe?

The Tiny Dancer/Tony Danza one has always mystified me, is it's so clear Elton is saying "tiny dancer."

"Tiny Dancer" preceded the premiere of Taxi by seven years, so I never confused it with Tony Danza.

[quote]"Tiny Dancer" preceded the premiere of Taxi by seven years, so I never confused it with Tony Danza.

Thank you! It's just a dad joke that doesn't even make sense.

Cities in Dust/S&TBs - "Woah oh, yo n, c, and d is not enough"

Skin Deep/The Stranglers - "Oohhh ooh ooh, better watch out for the feelies"

Michael Stipe once said that the line “We could gather, throw a fit” in Sitting Still was commonly misheard as “We could gather, throw up beer.”

From Surrender by Cheap Trick: “Rolling numbers, rock and rollin'/Got 9 kids sweatin’ it out”

I’m embarrassed to say how long it took me to realize it was “Got my KISS records out.”

"Whoa whoa whoa, it's my dick!"

Like R33, I was confused on Voices Carry: “hush hush, even downtown, voices carry”

So, Gerard, only you can do what must be done.

R71 pure luck, now fuck off.

A friend of mine was convinced Stevie Wonder's song "Part-Time Lover" was actually "Apartheid Lover" and was about a forbidden inter-racial love affair

Dance Hall Days by Wang Chung: "we were cool on Christ"

I'm living with a poltergeist that's giving off sparks Nothing I can do A total eclipse of the heart.

Lovin’ an alligator!

My brother convinced my Brenda Lee’s version went like this:

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Let the Christmas spirit ring

Later we'll have some fuckin pie

I can never get that out of my head every year when it plays on the radio.

“The Way” - Ariana Grande “Baby, I’m overweight/I’m overweight, baby I’m over weight/ooh I’m overweighttttt”

R86 — I've heard that song my entire life and never picked up on the "fuckin' pie" line. To see what I was missing, I just played it and you're 100% right. That's exactly what it sounds like, and I'll never hear it the right way again. How could I have been so deaf?

Like OP I too misheard Tiny Dancer lyrics, but I thought Elton wanted to be laid down on sheets of leather. Sounded freaky to me as a youngster.

I about died laughing just now, listening for "fuckin' pie."

I listened to The Red Flag by Billy Bragg on YouTube. One person commented that when he heard the refrain "We don't need them" it sounded like "We only eat ham".

This is dumb as hell, but even though "La Bamba" was obviously in Spanish, for some reason I thought there was an English-language moment where he sang out "for Pete's sa-ake, for Pete's sa-ake!" (Actually "por ti sere.") I even thought of it as "that 'for Pete's sake' song."

The end of "Stairway to Heaven":

Robert Plant sings "the tune will come to you at least"

I heard "the Jew will come to you alive"

r86: One of my most loathed Christmas songs. You just made that unbearable song hysterical.

I misheard virtually every line of Siouxsie & the Banshees’ “Hong Kong Garden.”

She's got a chicken to ride.....

So open the door, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me

Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Just crack my teeth before you leave me

This was from a Dave Barry reader who was participating in the "Bad Song" column, a misheard "Achy Breaky Heart."

You can tell my lips or you can tell my hips,

that you're going to dump me if you can;

But don't tell my liver, it never would forgive her

it might blow up and circumcise this man.

I misheard pretty much every Pearl Jam and Nirvana lyric

I've got two chickens to paralyze

r100 RIP Eddie Money

Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana) - “win a Lada, mrs. Davis!”

Paranoid (Black Sabbath) - “I tell you to end your life, I wish I could manipulate”

"Yummy yummy yummy, I got cum in my tummy"

I thought "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" was "the girl with colitis goes by"

My sister said for years she thought Kurt Cobain was saying "Danny DeVito" not "my libido" in Smells Like Teens Spirit.

Bbnnmj

"Do you wanna pizza me?" I was mistaken, apparently Britney is asking "Do you want a Piece of Me?"

r94 Hong Kong Garden is a great example. Once I read the lyrics, they made sense and yet I still hear all the wrong words.

"Daddy's on the mountain top, burning like a silver flame"... Venus by Bananarama... many years later I learned it was " Goddess on a mountain top"

My cunt tree tits a veal

r109 On the original version of ’Venus’ the singer sang “Godness on a mountain top” instead of “Goddess on a mountain top” and for years people assumed she sang “Goodness on a mountain top”.

“I’ll steal snow from the sky for you”

— Bon Jovi, I’ll Be There For You

Britney Spears, I'm a Slave 4 U:

When she said "Leaving behind my name and age" I thought it was "Leaving behind my lemonade"

Song: What a feeling

Take your passions and make it happen.

I hear: Take your pants off and make it happen.

R114 Your version is way better!

For years, I thought the opening lyrics to "The Way We Were" were "Memories, like the corners of my mind . . ."

I did too, r116.

You’re not alone.

First time I hear Uptown Funk:

"good girls, straight masterpieces"

"good girls, they masturbate"

Aerosmith's Dude Looks Like A Lady - I heard it as Do The Funky Lady.

Tina Turner's You'd Better Be Good To Me - You'd Better Bring Food To Me.

If you listen closely, Johnny Rivers sings "Secret ASIAN man."

Everybody wants you

Everybody wants your love

I'd just like to make you mine all night

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, now

Baby get it up

Get it up

Baby get it up

Every night and day

I play with my thing

Fuck your girl

All kinds of ways

Louie Louie ...

R99, I've never understood how anyone managed to decipher lyrics out of Nirvana songs. Did Cobain ever use consonants? That Weird Al video that had him gargling the song was all too true.

A weird one for me: the theme song to the children's show "HR Pufnstuf" tells a story, and one part of it goes like this:

"But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch

Who had in mind the flute to snitch.

From her Vroom-Broom in the skies,

She watched her plan materialize."

When I saw the show as a five- or six-year-old child, I did not know the world "materialize," so I had thought for decades the last verse went,

"From her Vroom-Broom in the skies,

She watched her plans with teary old eyes."

`[quote] Tina Turner's You'd Better Be Good To Me - You'd Better Bring Food To Me.

That's how Lizzo changes the lyrics when she covers it.

No more muddy got for Mr. Roboto

Please Mister please, don't blame me at 17 (hey I'm just a teenager, it's not my fault!)

All the boys think she's a SPAZ, she's got Bette Davis eyes

Hit me with you best shot.

I hear, Lick me in my wet spot.

R116, until I read your post, I thought it was the lyric

Donuts make my brown eyes blue - Crystal Gayle

Been workin’ so hard / Been crashin’ my car

Cherry pie, cherry pie, no he can't read my poker face

Way back when, we used to sing: "More More More! 'talian Ices, 'talian Ices!"

TLC: Damn I'm Pretty

Dude looks like a lady.

Do Me like a lady.

"I'll never leave your pizza burnin' . . ." - Mick

"You walked into the party, Like you were walkin' onto a yacht. You had strategically dicked another guy . . ." - Carly

[quote]No more muddy got for Mr. Roboto

This doesn’t even make sense.

[quote]"You walked into the party, Like you were walkin' onto a yacht. You had strategically dicked another guy . . ." - Carly

"Your scarf it was Africa..."

Well, that's what I heard.

R136 Because everything else in this thread does?