Beware Of Beans!
Fuckin A!
I bought a bunch of beans at Coscto 2 months ago so decided I would buy some ground beef with taco seasoning and put in 1 can of kidney beans, 1 can of garbanzo beans, and a jar of salsa. It made enough for 3 lunches in my Tupperware so I ate some at work at noon today.
At 2:30, I felt some rumbling and started having a hot flash. I'm a male. I don't go pee pee or poo poo at work, so I had to walk down the block to Neiman Marcus. I was speed walking and then had to take 4 elevators to the top floor only to find out the bathroom door was open with the yellow cone that someone was cleaning it. I had to take the 4 elevators back down and found the men's room on the first floor. I didn't even have time to put toilet paper on the seat, I sat bare-assed and immediately exploded. Loud farts, etc. A guy came in to pee and I held everything in for 2 minutes and as soon as he left I let out a huge amount of air. So embarrassing.
I just got home from work and my stomach is rumbling again so I sat on the pot and process to let out an 8-10 second fart unlike anything I've ever done as it rippled my asshole like an assquake.
I am not eating the remaining 2 meals at work or on a weekday!
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | August 22, 2019 2:38 PM
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Yes, beans are awful like that. It's a shame because they're so good for you otherwise.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | August 22, 2019 1:32 AM
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Thanks, OP. Beware of water. You'll get wet.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | August 22, 2019 1:36 AM
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Is OP another scat troll with a proclivity for beans?
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | August 22, 2019 1:42 AM
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They are a magical fruit!
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | August 22, 2019 1:48 AM
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You won't pee at work? What is wrong with you?
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | August 22, 2019 1:50 AM
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Be a fucking grown up. Use the restroom at work, especially if it is an emergency. Do not say "go pee pee or poo poo." And, don't hold it in just because another person walks in the restroom, what the fuck do you think they are for?
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | August 22, 2019 1:51 AM
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Scat troll. Flames and freaks,.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | August 22, 2019 1:54 AM
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[QUOTE]They are a magical fruit!
What makes beans a magical fruit?
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | August 22, 2019 1:54 AM
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I have beans sometimes three days a week without any of these problems. You probably don't get enough fibre, and really needed the colon blow.
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | August 22, 2019 1:58 AM
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I didn't want to do it, but I laughed. You are disgusting.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | August 22, 2019 1:59 AM
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OP, I laughed so hard I almost shit myself.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | August 22, 2019 2:00 AM
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Sounds like my new album!
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | August 22, 2019 2:10 AM
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My female co-worker has told me about two of our colleagues who have farted in the ladies room while on the john and I haven't been able to look at either of them the same since. I'm not having people act that way towards me.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | August 22, 2019 2:32 AM
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" I'm a male," said Poo Shoes.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | August 22, 2019 2:32 AM
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Beans are complex carbohydrates and digest very slowly. They end up fermenting in your gut which produces gas i.e. farts.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | August 22, 2019 3:05 AM
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This is a humourless scat thread.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | August 22, 2019 3:16 AM
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[quote] At 2:30, I felt some rumbling and started having a hot flash. I'm a male. I don't go pee pee or poo poo at work, so I had to walk down the block to Neiman Marcus.
This sentence made me giggle.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | August 22, 2019 3:22 AM
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In women's bathrooms in Japan, the stalls have buttons you push that make a loud flushing sound to mask any embarassing noises. In toilets without the buttons, women flush repeatedly. They installed the buttons because women were wasting so much water.
Some of the buttons play a little song, like a nursery rhyme instead of a flush.
In conclusion, Japan is a land of contrasts.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | August 22, 2019 3:26 AM
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Don't you people know that if you soak the beans overnight before cooking you do not get the gas effects?
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | August 22, 2019 3:34 AM
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R22 The best "toilet culture" hands down.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | August 22, 2019 3:39 AM
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Perhaps you should save this story for Grindr hookups.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | August 22, 2019 3:42 AM
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when I hear of stories like this I think 1) trolls be trolling, 2) some of you have super super delicate digestive tracks
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | August 22, 2019 4:04 AM
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OP - did you, by chance, have any sugar-free Gummi bears after you ate the beans?
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | August 22, 2019 8:10 AM
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No, I haven’t been able to find Haribo sugar-free.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | August 22, 2019 2:25 PM
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[quote]At 2:30, I felt some rumbling and started having a hot flash. I'm a male. I don't go pee pee or poo poo at work, so I had to walk down the block to Neiman Marcus.
You know you're an asshole, when.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | August 22, 2019 2:28 PM
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