Let's Be Annoying People or Things Encountered While Driving

I'm the Datalounge member who's drowning in gratitude in the hope that all whining about other people's driving will [italic]finally[/italic] be confined to one thread.

I am R1 on Datalounge. And I am always a dick!

Some of the worst driving I have seen is getting on or merging on a freeway. It shouldn't be so hard, yet people make it difficult.

What drives me crazy is when a left turn arrow turns green and the cars in front of me take their sweet time making the turn and I'm left to sit through another light cycle.

Arrow turns green, 5 seconds go by, car #1 makes the turn, then the second car decides to start the turn, etc.

Stop looking at your cell phones, jackasses, and pay attention!

I’m the “New Jersey left.”

I am the woman driving with makeup in my lap, simultaneously trying to beat my face, beat other drivers and keep the beat with the Bee Gees song on my radio.

I am the frightened, tentative Student Driver who pees a little in my pants when you bitches honk at me.

I am the brain-dead numbskull late for work frantically changing lanes (without signalling) on the highway only to not get there any faster than anyone else.

i'm the guy driving below the speed limit in front of you. there is no way to get around me. The light turns yellow and i speed up to go through, leaving you at the red light.

I'm the person who waits until I'm just about to make the turn to use my turn signal, and sometimes I never use it all, and as a result, I should be drawn and quartered, and my remains burned on a bonfire.

I'm the driver that never learned to merge into traffic. I want to get over in the right lane, so i slow down to a near stop in traffic, holding all the cars behind me, while i wait for a free spot in the right lane.

I'm Mobility Mary - just watch

Oh, r11. I have a friend like that. When I'm in the car and he's merging right, the drivers to the right glare at me as if I'm responsible for his driving. I have the good sense not to feel embarrassed, but sometimes I just avoid looking at the other driver.

I'm the asshole who speeds down the left lane and then shoots across 3 lanes of traffic to make my exit on the right. I'm usually driving a BMW 3 series.

I'm the idiot that cut off a line of traffic to get into the left lane. Then I proceed to slow down so there is no one ahead of me for 1/2 mile. Of course, if anyone then tries to pass me on the right, I will speed up to 90 miles an hour so you can't. Once you are again behind me,, I will slow down again.

I'm the guy going straight through a four way intersection. Even though the light is turning red and a person coming toward me is trying to make a left turn as the light turns red, I zoom through the intersection.

that happened to me yesterday, R16, i was the left turn driver. The person going through the red light was caught by a cop. Instant karma, haha

I'm the construction truck with an unsecured load in the lane to the left of you. A shop broom flies off the back and strikes your car, causing $1400 damage. You thank your lucky stars you're not on a motorcycle.

I'm the dumbass who makes a full stop at a traffic circle/roundabout even though there is NO other traffic except for the guy in the car behind me who I can see in my rear view mirror is screaming at me.

I'm a driver concentrating on my phone conversation, which is more important than paying attention to traffic. The police and courts won't see my point of view, because the SYSTEM IS RIGGED and they JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

People who changes lanes in stop-and-go traffic to gain some kind of emotional satisfaction. Their behavior is actually what causes a lot of congestion. Every time someone applies the brakes, it creates a wave of slowing that persists long after they’ve passed.

I am most people on the road. I am looking down at my phone while I am driving. I can multi-task, but nobody else can!

I am the GPS app announcing that there is a stopped car on the side of the road.

I am 90% off moronic drivers today who do not understand to fucking turn into the median.

I'm also the moron entering the freeway at 35 MPH, expecting everyone else to slow down to let me in.

Finally, I'm the moron that doesn't look when changing lanes, almost hits you, and proceeds even though I can hear you laying on the horn because I'm severely stupid, causing you to slam on your brakes to avoid hitting me.

I am R24, and I must be posting on Datalounge while driving because my post is impossible to decipher.

I am R27 who must be brain dead if he can't understand R24.

Turn into the median. How hard was it to understand?

R27 is apparently R24 and doesn't turn into the median!

I'm the person with the gigantic CHILDREN ON BOARD sign on the back of her car and when you drive alongside me, you see that my eyes aren't even on the road because I'm texting while my children are bouncing around in the back seat.

I'm the jackass that uses the turning lane to merge into traffic (it's technically illegal here in Ohio, but people still do it anyway). You never know if these dip shits are going to just flat out pull out in front of you (which they do that as well) or stay in the turning lane and wait to merge.

I am R27 trying to figure out how you turn into a median? Is that like turning into a werewolf?

I am the driver with road rage, bitching about other drivers, who doesn't know how to drive.

R27/r32, I presume the reference is to pull forward into the intersection - or the median - to be able to turn when traffic allows. Which is totally legal and allows the turn lane to clear faster.

R32, I agree. R24's post makes no sense. Medians are the areas that separate the lanes going in opposite directions on a divided highway, typically an interstate. Why would you need to turn into one?

Why would you want to turn into the median?

I am some of you bitches who need to pick up a DMV handbook.

I'm the driver that starts and stops four times on a yield sign with no one coming for miles on the main road. When I am finally hit from behind after stopping a fifth time at the yield sign, I get out of my car and ask what happened.

I am the asshole who decides that no one in the left lane is going fast enough for me

I will tailgate every car until they pull into the middle lane, one by one.

More often than not, I am driving either a minivan or a pickup truck.

I am the idiot who thinks driving on the interstate is a real life video game.

I will dart from lane to lane to get ahead, startling drivers as I go and almost causing multiple accidents.

Inevitably I will not have an EZ Pass, so you will pass me at the next toll booth

I am the people who insist on slowing down, practically coming to a complete stop, to check out a car pulled over on the side of the road.

I’m the black pickup truck with the big American flags flapping off the back. I’m more patriotic than all you commie faggots!

We are the neighbors driving in opposite directions on a residential street who pull alongside one another to chat....

We know we're holding up the cars behind us but we don't give a damn and we're not going to move until we finish talking about our crotch fruit or gossip about who the whore neighbor is fucking now.

I'm the fucking farmer who pulls onto the highway right in front of you in muh tractor even though there is nothing behind you.

I'm the asshole who announces his presence from three blocks away thanks to the music with the thumping bass that I make sure everyone can hear thanks to playing it at full volume and with all my windows down. You're welcome!

Which one of you is the guy getting the ticket for going 52 in a 50 while the officer kept ignoring the multiple, raging, assholes weaving in and out of traffic at 70mph?

I'm the old, old, OLD lady who lives at the end of the street. I'm so short that I have my seat pulled forward so that the steering wheel rests on my chest. I don't see or hear so well any more, so it's such a nice thing when all the other people on my street see me coming and run up on their porches with their arms flailing around to tell me "hello." They do it each and every time I drive!

I'm the driver in the left lane driving at the posted speed limit or slightly less.

I'm the Bay Area where everyone in the left lanes drives slow and everyone on the right drives fast.

I’m the speed limit. A few miserable sods take me seriously.

R48 and R50 I'm the driver who feels the speed LIMIT is just that, the absolute MAXIMUM speed you are allowed to drive. I feel it is prudent and safer to always travel 15-20 miles below this maximum limit, despite all the other traffic driving 15 miles over. I don't understand why I am always being tailgated.

I am the dope who doesn't know how my automatic headlights work. I am driving down the highway at 10 pm with no lights on.

Whenever I see a Student Driver I fuck with them because they have to learn the real rules of the road.

We are the coworkers who JUST LEFT WORK. We will pull up next to each other and chat while cars beep behind us cuz the light is green. As soon as it turn yellow, we will both go through it but you suckers will be stuck at the red!