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...much to the chagrin of his wife. While he spent thousands she saved pennies. After Dave's demise, Myra his widow, called the paper and inquired about the cost of an obituary.
It will be $10.00 a word she was told. "Ok," said Myra, publish this," "Dave Smith Dead."
"I'm sorry" said the newspaper clerk, "I should've told you there is a five word minimum."
Myra thought about it and said, "Ok, use this."
"Smith Dead, Plymouth for Sale."
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | August 22, 2019 1:43 AM |
Great joke, OP!
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | August 20, 2019 5:13 PM |
What year and model Plymouth? Boy I had a crush on had a Plymouth Satellite wagon
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | August 20, 2019 8:04 PM |
I came out of the supermarket this morning and there was a woman crying her eyes out. She’d lost all her money. I felt so sorry for her I gave her $50.
I don’t usually do that kind of thing but luckily I’d just found $5,000 in the parking lot.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | August 20, 2019 9:40 PM |
I was at the museum recently.
I asked a worker there if I was allowed to take pictures.
He said no, they had to stay on the walls.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | August 20, 2019 9:42 PM |
Mickey Mouse was beside himself when people told him that he should get Minnie to a shrink.
He squeaked in frustration, "She doesn't need a shrink! I said she's FUCKING GOOFY!"
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | August 20, 2019 9:46 PM |
Teacher: “Why did you bring that cat to school today"
Jimmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!’
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | August 20, 2019 9:51 PM |
I saw this fat woman riding a bike, and I yelled "COW"
she flipped me the bird, just before she hit the cow.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | August 22, 2019 12:33 AM |
They'll be here all week, folks! Be sure to tip your servers, and try the veal.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | August 22, 2019 1:43 AM |
Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.
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