Mesmerizingly awful reality shows of the 2000s

[italic]Flavor of Love[/italic]

The70s House

Just cringe-worthy from start to finish

The Swan was an amazing show!!!

Mission Man Band. Yeesh.

"Superstar USA" had JoJo, who in addition to being gay seemed to have some mental disability. They sent him out in the finale to perform Beyonce.

The best part of the show for me was Vitamin C on the judges' panel, who could pull off the perfect deadpan compliment like "I've really never heard anything like that."

I don't remember Superstar USA, thankfully. It sounds like the most appalling spectacle ever put on tv. At least with the Gong Show I have a feeling most constants were in on the joke.

"Old Sea Hag" where contestants would find out who the Hag is and cast her out to sea.

It was deemed too sexist and lasted for only one season.

Who Wanto To Marry a Multi-Millionaire?

R8 What I remember most about that shitshow was that at first I confused Darva Conger for Krista Tesreau of Guiding Light, and I couldn't understand why she would debase herself like that.

Does anyone remember a show - I think on VH1 - that centered around commuters singing to songs on the radio?

The one with Kathy Griffin where hot and nothot guys competed and the one with INXS.

Splash. The celebrity diving show. I think DL fave Drake Bell won that.

Superstar USA was really entertaining.

I liked Celebrity Mole.

Joe Millionaire.

Whoever gave Superstar USA the green light was surely a Datalounger. So ridiculous, so mean, so funny. Though I assume some of the contestants were in on the joke, like the woman who kept forgetting the lyrics.

Vitamin C had a great deadpan. "I never realized how long that song is!"

"Hot or Not" was embarrassingly bad, Lorenzo Llamas was a judge.

R16 could you imagine such a show being greenlighted today? Twitter SJWs would lose their minds.

My favourite was "Straight Plan for the Gay Man," which followed "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." It was only six episodes. The straight team tried to butch up typical gay men so they could take on a straight role. I loved the ep where they shaped up a guy who worked in theatre (I think) so that he was hired to work in a meat packing plant. He was so thrilled to resume his normal life after it was over.

If anyone can point me to a link for streaming, I'd appreciate it.

life.

Average Joe.

The Swan was incredible. Some of the people they fixed up looked like circus freaks before the makeover. What was novel to me was that these pathologically ugly people were actually as self-obsessed as beauty queens.

There was a dating competition where men competed to date Jerry Hall. She was actually charming in this.

The 2000s were a cultural bankruptcy.

R22 I would imagine the only thing that attracts Jerry Hall is a man's checkbook. Look at Mick Jagger and Rupert Murdoch, I don't think she cares about looks.

Megan Wants a Millionaire. Where a reject from Rock of Love tried to find a man of her own, but one of the contestants was a murderer who soon killed himself. Show was quickly axed.

I still laugh about Kyle Richards on that celebrity diving show. You have to watch her dive towards the end. I thought after all that crying that she was going to do a triple flip into a flying twist, but instead we got this....

I did see a British one called Autistic Superstars. That title! It was a good show. Two autistic people were taught a second song (the first they'd been singing on their own for years) and then marched out to perform in front of an audience. Their backing group all were autistic too. I learnt a lot about autism from this show.

I loved [italic]The Surreal Life,[/italic] which was the closest thing America ever had to the UK version of [italic]Celebrity Big Brother.[/italic] Tammy Faye! Vanilla Ice! Alexis Arquette! Janice Dickinson! Chyna! Omarosa! Incontinent Verne Troyer!

I wonder about what happened to the contestants on Superstar USA more than any sane person should.

How can anyone forget House of Carters?

Vitamin C: "JoJo, that was a RIDICULOUS performance!"

JoJo: "Rock on!"

The Quest was this fantasy-based reality competition series that aired on ABC in 2014, and lasted 10 whole episodes. It sent a group of American contestants to a castle estate outside Vienna, where they got medieval clothing and rooms - they also had to interact with people (hired actors playing roles) who behaved like it was 1500's England. The challenges were things like finding an elf, then doing some knight-like quest to win the days challenge. I watched it when it started but it was dumb AND boring.

You're bringing back so many memories, OP! The Swan was one of my favorite shows. There should be a follow up to see how the participants held up.

R24, Mick was considered beautiful up until his mid-50s.