NY to Maine to Canada Cruise

The endless drinks in the Crow's Nest Lounge help.

What r1 said. Through booze all things are possible.

Oh it won’t be that bad, just think of it as a short week of people watching. Head down to the Marketplace at Steamtown, get yourself some Tommy Bahama cruise wear and a couple of handles of vodka You’ll be fine.

You're probably in a port every day so get off the boat and go do stuff.

I'll wave to you from Moody Beach

Oh, another one of those. Why not enjoy the time with your parents?

Stop being so self absorbed. They'll be dead soon enough.

You're lucky your parents are still here to take on the cruise, quit bitching

OP? You're from Scranton and you think a cruise is too downscale for you?

Hahahahaha!

Watch out for Goofy. Remember poor Bill Taylor

I would give anything to take a boring ass tacky cruise with my parents. Be grateful & gracious. You'll have the rest of your life to regret it if you aren't.

Bring your vape pen. Flirt with the staff. Bon voyage.

"The shows look like the touring company of Broadway shows that go to Cedar Rapids."

You should be so lucky.

A pourer bottle of vodka in your carry-on is your friend.

I trust you're not sharing a cabin with them but rather have booked your own.

Make friends with the ship's social staff.

It could be worse: we were on a long transatlantic cruise/crossing when they ran out of prunes. On your itinerary, at least they can restock en route.

American Cruise Lines? The Canadian foliage cruise i can see maybe doing but I always wondered who takes the riverboat tours up the Mississippi? That just sounds like GoneGirl depressing.

Grindr

Mary OP will amuse herself on the cruise by rimming the young male Latino kitchen staff!

After she pays them, of course.

Read some novels you’ve always put off. Bring a notebook and write. Download a language app. Download lots of music and walk around. Maybe make a friend with someone else who is also stuck with their parents—sneak out and do shots with them. Send lots of postcards from every port. Shoot pool. Play cards.

You could always just put aside your pride and appreciate the time you'll have with your parents. It's just a few days out of the rest of your life, but it may just mean the world to them. Plenty people would give anything to have their parents back so they could enjoy a tacky cruise with them on a floating motel for a few days.

I would like to do a short cruise like that, NY, Maine, Nova Scotia.

Throw parents off the ship. Sue the cruise company. It's a win!

Then open a GoFundMe page. Double win!

A "recently remodeled Holiday Inn" is comfortable. What more do you need for a few days? "Uninspired" sounds like ordinary American restaurant food. Perhaps you can cope with this hardship by giving yourself a vacation from healthy eating and enjoying the high-fat fried offerings and massive desserts, which I promise will taste good.

If you enjoy your parents' company, then you'll have fun. If you just tolerate them, try not to show it and spend plenty of time reading and shore-hopping on your own.

Above all, don't hurt your parents' feelings. I'm sure they think it's a real treat for you.

What cruise line OP?

Mary OP is the height of sophistication. Her coven of queens look to her for advice on all things nelly.

Update: A tacky cruise is tacky!

Hate to say it but WiFi on cruises is notoriously bad. Download games, books, and movies beforehand.

I know a couple that went on a New England cruise. They said it was a much more cerebral crowd that you get on regular cruises. Not a party boat.

Is pot legal on cruises?

You can stand at the head of the ship and alternate between shouting "I'm the king of the world!" and singing "Don't Rain On My Parade".

Don't ruin their good time, asshole.

Pot is illegal but attainable. Federal waters and all...

The gym/sauna of every cruise ship I've been on was brimming with married men/dads looking to get off. Give that hole a workout!

[quote]NY to Maine to Canada Cruise

Steven King will cream his pants if you tell him about this.

shuffleboard

Agree with bring a good book. War and Peace is 1,200 pages and also a good read.

Make sure you check for any open windows that seem closed.

Out of NY it is likely Norwegian Cruise. Not the best. Juts eat at the buffet instead of the dining room, you can pick what you want.

To jazz up the itinerary, try dropping off a baby en route, preferably from a window. It’s a surefire way to spark conversation.

Just close your eyes and think of Justin Trudeau.

Thanks for the advice guys. I live with my parents so I spend plenty of time with them. I'm going with them more to keep them company and to keep them from killing each other than anything else. I can see one of them easily pushing another overboard. They're the reason I have one of those SMTWTFS am/noon/pm pill boxes.

Dangle one of your parents out an open window....then ooops!

Make up some story how your parent likes to bang on glass. Then blame the cruise line and sue them.

R39 sounds like my parents! Good luck, bring lots of edibles and it will all be fine.

Did a similar cruise and I actually liked it. Especially loved Nova Scotia, where some of the folks who died on the titanic are buried. Agree about cherishing the time with your parents. And agree about Grindr.

Book at least one night at the premium restaurant. It's a set extra price per person but the food is way better than the regular dining room.

I did that cruise a couple of years ago on Princess. Brooklyn-Boston-Newport-Bar Harbor-St. John-Halifax-Brooklyn. We had to skip Bar Harbor due to weather, but all of the other ports were nice. I was surprised at how much nicer Boston was than I'd remembered. (Last time I was there was in the '90s.)

I had a nice time. There's always a lot to do, but you can also do nothing if you want. I do end up reading (on a Kindle) a lot more on cruises than I do at home.

Since you’re 50 and considered practically SFU, I suggest a fake profile to catfish on Grindr. Send us pics.

"Especially loved Nova Scotia, where some of the folks who died on the titanic are buried"

Nothing like taking a North Atlantic ocean cruise to go see victims of the Titanic.

Actually, it was quite interesting. The gravestones are arranged in the form of the bow of a ship. Folks were buried in Nova Scotia because the ship company refused to pay to have the bodies returned to their home ports. And of DL interest, a few of the deceased manservants of unmarried gentlemen who were on board were buried with elaborate headstones befitting royalty. It was as if someone lost a dear, dear loved one, not a servant. Even my mom figured that story out.

[quote]Nothing like taking a North Atlantic ocean cruise to go see victims of the Titanic.

On a Celebrity Cruise to the Scandinavian Countries, the halls of the ship were decorated with pictures of icebergs!

I would work out in the gym, get on the treadmill, and try not to gain weight from all the rich food.

Load up your tablet, as mentioned above.

Normally would not recommend alcohol as a coping mechanism, but what the hell. It’s just a few days and you won’t be driving a car.

Good luck, OP.

The T-rooms in the gym and other places must be fun!

OK those of you recommending that OP pack some alcohol clearly have not cruised. It gets confiscated - and they know every hiding trick. Hence they don’t allow water bottles and are able to tell the difference between shampoo and vodka viscosity. Don’t worry, you’ll get it back and the end of the cruise.

Purchase an unlimited drink package with tip included and problem solved. Plus you can indulge on variety.

I lost my father at age eleven, so I second those who say enjoy the little time left you have with them. Even if you live with them, vacationing with them is a different story, altogether.

If your parents are the sort who fight like cats and dogs, yet want to take a cruise together, it's obvious that's just their way of loving each other. I'm betting if one of them died the other one would be inconsolable. We've all known old couples like that. All else aside, they are devoted to each other.

You sound like a pretentious twit. Hopefully you’re kind to your parents at least.

Bring a good camera and take nice pics of the scenery. The foliage will be beautiful. Are you sharing a room with the old coots?

Scour the daily newsletter for the Friends of Dorothy meetings.

They no longer use FOD code. LGBT is quite clear and acceptable in most cruises on this side of the world.

We always look for Friends of Bill W meetings, for a return to sanity.

You’re a saint OP. To live with them AND do vacation with them is above and beyond the call of duty. I couldn’t do it. Everyone here saying “relish the time” doesn’t remember what it’s like to live with elderly parents as caretaker for years of your life. The ONLY thing to relish is looking back at it when they are dead - there is little joy in the day to day.

[quote] I lost my father at age eleven, so I second those who say enjoy the little time left you have with them.

Where did you lose him? At Walmart or the Dollar Store? Or are you trying to say "he passed"

[quote] If your parents are the sort who fight like cats and dogs, yet want to take a cruise together, it's obvious that's just their way of loving each other. I'm betting if one of them died the other one would be inconsolable. We've all known old couples like that. All else aside, they are devoted to each other.

I respectfully disagree with this statement. IMO, sometimes couples simply settle on each other ("You'll do"). Too complacent, needy, broke, lazy, etc., to divorce. Children would like to think, "Aww, that's just their way of showing love for each other." Not true. The parents loathe each other.

I feel sorry for OP, who said he's on medications (MTWTFSS pill container), due in part to his parents. Sounds like the parents might just want OP there as a buffer for all their fighting.

[quote] Or are you trying to say "he passed"

Passed what? The hospital? Or are you trying to say "he died"?

You poor baby, forced to go on a cruise!

Thanks guys. I'm in the process of making an attitude adjustment about the entire issue. I'm also formulating a written plan on how to increase my chances of enjoying the trip.

[quote] there is little joy in the day to day.

I'm sure the free room and board is more than enough joy to keep the OP happy.

Sounds like a week well spent away from SCRANTON.

Are you an only child? If not, any chance a brother or sister could swap for a week? You'd get the house to yourself, and they would score karma points.

Otherwise, if it were me, the drink package and hook-up apps seem the most useful methods of distraction...

Definitely go with the drinks package but, in regard to sneaking alcohol on board, you put it into a contact lens saline solution bottle. My friend has never been caught.

The drinks package costs almost as much as the cruise. It's only worth it if you drink like a fish every day.

I'm not the only child but I'm the only gay child. You know what that means once you get older and your parents are older older.

[quote] I'm not the only child but I'm the only gay child. You know what that means once you get older and your parents are older older.

That is not the dynamic in my family at all.

You are a good person for doing this for your parents, OP. I hope you all have a really nice time.

Plus, there may be fun activities you can do. Do you have a hairy chest? Enter the hairy chest contest!

R68 Please elaborate. I am the only gay child out of three kids and my parents are older. Do you mean the other siblings are too busy with their own kids and families and the gay one needs to pick up the slack? That is not how it shakes down in my family at all.

Not R68, R71, but that's how it "shakes down" in many if not most families: the kids who're married, with or without kids, have an excuse to avoid the parental-care duties. The gay kids, especially if not partnered, don't. For whatever reason, the single straight kids don't seem to be helping out as much.

The flip side of that, at least in a world with some justice, is that the gay child gets the house or more of the money.

Of course, if it's being spent on cruises to Canada, who knows what will be left?

Yes. My brother is estranged from my parents and my sister has a bunch of kids she had later in life. I know I sound like I'm complaining and whining. Maybe I am. It's a mix of it's totally my decision to be here with them and I can leave whenever I want vs I feel somewhat guilty and obligated that I have to be here. I lived a gay fabulous life for 25 years so it's time for me to grow up some and be responsible for someone other than myself.

I agree with r26, this will be a "cerebral" crowd. Enjoy the time with your parents, OP, but also know there will also be other Adult Children of parents on board who will also be reading The Man Without Qualities by Robert Musil

Just don’t be a wet blanket. Don’t let your parents feel like they are a boring burden.