Simple ways to save a few bucks.

Bring packets of coffee? Huh?

I'm just imagining OP trying to sneak out of his job with toilet paper and napkins. Your coworkers are onto you!

[quote]There are certain items that people simply don't need to buy. For example, we can take condiment packets, sugar etc from restaurants or workplaces. Same goes for napkins, toilet paper etc.

In other words - STEAL THEM.

God you're trash, OP.

My job doesn’t stock Charmin

[quote]Simple ways to save a few bucks.

CHEAP CUNT!

My god, OP, yours may be the saddest post I've seen in ages.

Don’t have credit card balances you can’t pay off in full each month. I learned that a me the hard way way.

If you can't afford your own toilet paper, you need to think of how you can make more money.

There are a great many ways to save a few bucks, but pilfering things from sources that others paid for makes you an asshole, OP.

I would say that making your own coffee at home, and putting it in a tumbler for your commute, definitely saves about $50 a month, if you are a daily coffee drinker.

Or, you could just stay at a friend’s place and use all their shit. Same diff.

[quote]Or, you could just stay at a friend’s place and use all their shit. Same diff.

That's the same as pilfering stuff from your workplace or coffee shops?

Don't waste money buying new tampons every month. Women have been conditioned to believe that they should be thrown out after one use, but they're actually good for 3-4. I pick through my neighbors' trash to find used ones, which I then rinse out and hang on my clothesline to dry.

Same goes for tea bags.

⬆️ Exactly.. you’d still be an asshole.

OP's the sort of frau who used to have a money box by his phone for when guests came to the house..

Need new tires? Rent a car like yours and swap the tires.

So you’re a thief?

^ LOL

Do they give you plastic bags for the produce in supermarkets in the USA. You could steal them OP.

Also plastic spoons from Starbucks.

I rarely eat out, maybe once a week at the most. I always make sure I bring food to work so I won't need to go grab something.

Why would anyone waste money on plant food when dog shit is free? I fill my trunk with stolen plastic bags from the produce section and twist ties from the bulk bins, and then I drive around looking for dog-walkers to follow. (Don't bitch at me for wasting gas; I siphon it from my neighbors' cars.)

Prior to the restraining order, I would just go to the dog park and pluck the pre-tied bags from the trash. That place was a gold mine! Not only was I neck-deep in dog shit, I could occasionally steal a dog or two to sell on Craigslist.

R12 and R15 having me laughing so hard I cried! In honor of OP I saved the tears and will use them as a broth for a hearty soup.

I used to know a really cheap guy who would only buy cat food to eat. Saved a ton if that's how you want to live.

R21 - Please don't think I'm criticizing your penny-pinching abilities, I'm just concerned that you may never get that soup if you're depending solely on tears. It's so much easier to make broth with bones from a KFC dumpster, plus you'll find enough biscuits, mashed potatoes, etc. for a few additional meals.

You may want to consider saving your tears to use as eye drops. If you cry as much as I do, you can fill one of those tiny bottles in a day or two.

Good luck!

I've economized by just taking the helicopter TO the Hamptons then getting a town car back into the city

I’ll see you fry in the electric chair for this. I’ll personally see that you fry in the goddamn chair for this.

Read your local obituaries to find out who died and break into the family’s home while they are at the funeral. Take whatever strikes your fancy.

Yikes R2, you busted me but it was only toilet paper (20 years ago).

For me, I buy everything when it is on sale and buy in bulk as much as you can. I try to save as much money as possible - unfortunately, if you aren't coupled you really only have yourself to count on.....doubly important as you get older.

Some poor people are so tedious.

OP, how about improving your position in life so that you can take pride in taking care of yourself as opposed to literally stealing from others.

OP most of what you posted is theft and the savings to you will be minimal, but still cost your employer. The best way to save is to not buy crap you really don't need. We buy an incredible amount of stuff we don't really need but just want.

I see how many days I can avoid taking care of business "down there" before people complain.

[quote] I would say that making your own coffee at home, and putting it in a tumbler for your commute, definitely saves about $50 a month, if you are a daily coffee drinker.

R9, don't you spill a lot of coffee out of a tumbler?

a tumbler holds more than a Martini glass

Not much more.

Let's cut straight to "Don't Tip Anyone." Everybody, and I mean everybody, has well-paid union jobs!

OP, is this you?

Learn to say "leave the money on the dresser" in at least 5 different languages.

Attend classes at Yale though you never got in and could never afford it. Tell everyone you're doing well at school. Kill everyone when you are supposed to be graduating.

I had a former friend who considered herself frugal but in reality was a reprehensible cheapskate.

R38 = Mark Hacking, taking it to the next level

OP is Creed Bratton.

Well I have some experience here.

I collect the lint out of my dryer when washing my Egyptian cotton towels and wad it up around old twine previously used for trussing turkeys. Voila! Tampon. Lint tampons - they’re a good thing!

If you're so poor that you can't pay your rent, and I'm not talking about people who live in apartments way above their means, I get trying to even steal toilet paper. Even if you have food stamps, you still have to pay for toilet paper on your own. Toilet paper, toothpaste, soap, laundry detergent and money to do laundry and things like that should be a human right in the wealthiest country in the world.

But if you're just being cheap I think it's disgusting. How the hell do you sneak out of your job with toilet paper, especially since most public rest rooms have those rolls of toilet paper almost as big as a tire in those dispensers? Do you walk around with ketchup packets stuffed into your pockets? What if one leaks???

sugar costs less than $1 a pound. Is it worth stealing by the packet? 1lb = approx 100 packs of sugar or at 1 teaspoon per pack.

I save money by skipping non-dairy creamer that I no longer steal from the Waffle House opting instead to use my own cum. Delicious!

Maybe you can duct tape your GoPro camera onto an unbent wire hanger and save on your colonoscopy.

[quote] R2: I'm just imagining OP trying to sneak out of his job with toilet paper and napkins. Your coworkers are onto you!

You joke, but I had a roommate who stole toilet paper from his internship job. As a prospective lawyer, he was going to need references to his good character, too.

[quote] R28: Yikes [R2], you busted me but it was only toilet paper (20 years ago).

Yikes! What are your initials?

Apparently the detergent, Tide, is an item that is often stolen. It seems too bulky to steal, but nonetheless.

Personally, I would rather that OP steal TP than not have any.

We've done this thread already... twice.

Yeah, but there's some new, hilarious stuff in this new thread.

Nothing on here is more hilarious than this:

R15 has a great idea!

To add to R15 maybe swap out your rotors, pads, and brakes from the rental to your car as well!

If you order from Costco, you can use some of the product and then return it and they have to give you your money back.

R53 the Chinese woman has a mental illness so I suppose she will become a mass shooter any day now.

So sorry Donald, that's a white boy thing. Knife attack on a grade school or day care is more like it.

I agree it is wrong to steal the toilet paper so suggest if you can't afford it, use a public drinking fountain as a bidet.

Eat the free samples from Costco. That'll save dinner once a week. Go to your local store and fill up multiple 5 gallon jugs from the drinking fountains outside the bathrooms.

You'll save money on your water bill for items you don't need running water for.

Also, recycle whatever you can to save on garbage costs.

This thread is hilarious.

OP is Lainie Kazan.

Stop showering. It's all the rage.

How about grocery coupons from the Sunday paper? I used to reliably save 12% without breaking a sweat.

R53 You can tell she saves money on haircuts by hacking her own hair.

I always keep a few sturgeon on hand. Unlimited, inexpensive caviar! Only suckers buy the fancy store brands.

Five fingered discount.

No theft!

There’s a lot of ways to save money legally. I think people are fooled, a lot.

I have never cared about clothing. But people get real silent when they come in my house, which is large and nice. Too each his own!

Don’t split the restaurant check without close attention to who ordered what, and how much each item cost. Doesn't matter if that person is your friend, spouse, or family member. Everyone will rip you off if given a chance.

Insist the credit card company chargeback service providers whose services you deem too expensive or not within your standards of quality. Hairstylists, massage therapists, etc—if you're not 100% happy with it, you deserve your money back.

Hassle friends and family to provide services and favors for free so that you can save a few bucks. Be unrelenting in these requests. You deserve for other people do do things for you for free.

Chase down restaurant staff to dispute a possible mistake on the bill amounting to pennies. Escalate it to the manager and causes a scene if necessary.

Wage a personal vendetta against anyone you believe has cost you any amount of money, no matter how small. Never forget.

Don't give gifts. If the situation warrants one, quietly avoid it or make up an excuse.

Don't donate money, ever. Memorial funds, families whose house has burned down, cancer patients with maxed-out insurance. It's their fault for not planning ahead.

Photograph original artwork. Have it printed/produced, then display it at home.

r69 also:

When using a coupon at a restaurant, tip for the discounted amount, even if it's only $10.

I had a cheapskate friend who did this and it drove me nuts.

Sign up for the Restoration Hardware catalog. Within weeks you'll have a lifetime supply of toilet paper and you can start duct-taping subsequent catalogs together to build a new house.

R64 the newspaper thing is only worth it if you're going to have significantly beyond the price you paid for the paper.

I have a few tips on cutting down your child rearing expenses...

I 'Borrow" toilet paper from starbucks

R72: the Sunday Boston Globe paper is now $12 per month. So, let’s say you shop for household goods every two weeks, you need to save $6 each trip, assuming you place no value in reading the paper, to break even. I imagine I’d spend $250 and save 12%, saving about $30. That nets me about $50 a month. Somehow, that small sum seems very large at the register. I think, wow, that’s lunch! Or something similar. It seems like it’s worth more, maybe because the unwitting pay it without thinking, or caring, and it’s so easy, it’s like finding money on the sidewalk. It’s one of the few true-giveaways in life, that is honest. Unlike some ideas here.

I get my groceries delivered now, and switched to electronic news, so no longer clip coupons. They still take coupons (with online delivery), but it isn’t as easy to buy couponed items online as you can in the store. I did use coupons, though, until I was 50, and retired.

People at my work place regularly steal toilet paper, cups, tea bags, milk and.......even the dishwasher tabs.

I don't think I have to mention office supplies since everyone seems to steal them everywhere.

I had a friend who would roam hotels in their city during the day and take items off the carts. He managed to get sheets.

r77 who the fuck wants hotel sheets?

I doubt the cum ever really come out.

I was a nuclear sub design and construction engineer and was routinely asked yea or nay on the suitability of some equipment with a defect to be addressed. Honesty and integrity was simply assumed, yet essential.

I know that people make mistakes in judgement; and some are completely corrupt, but one must have standards. You must rely on your doctor; your car mechanic (yeah, right, but still!); your local police, or society will come to a complete collapse. That’s why R76 makes me sad.

People seem to be worse these days than they were 30 years ago. A woman once hit my car in a parking lot. I saw it coming, in slow motion, and hit my car horn. She owned up to it, and even said she heard the horn but didn’t know where it was coming from. I mentally give her credit. I might have let it go, but I literally just got the bumper painted a week before. I’ve had a few experiences like this, but also a few where the person just lied and lied and lied. I think everybody needs cameras in their cars these days.

R78, it’s a “thing” to buy old high-end hotel mattresses at discount. You’d think you'd just strip the sheets and see the brand, if you like the bed, but I guess people like the discount.

Save your warranties. Especially the ones for 5 years or more. They are a selling point, and only a tiny fraction of the people who buy based on a warranty (and sometimes pay for one) actually use it. Who keeps paperwork like this for 5 or 10 years? Almost no one. But when you are shopping, it gives you the confidence to buy.

I bought a bath mat with a 5 year warranty. I liked the mat, but it didn’t last 5 years. I returned it. They were snooty about it, so I kept doing so, over subsequent years. I might have had to buy it once every second time, or something. I just figure that nobody ever actually uses the warranty, but it is a selling point, so it’s my right. And I didn’t like their attitude the first time.

My late partner did that, R81. I thought it ridiculous. But I was amazed at how often he was able to upgrade items for new and and at no charge, just by whipping out that guarantee.

I’ve read that you should never buy a store’s purchase protection plan. Your credit card might have a kind of insurance on the item, anyway. But on average, those store plans don’t profit the consumer.

I was buying a new couch. The salesbitch offered the fabric protection plan for ~$350. As she pitched it, I thought, she knows I’m replacing my7 year-old couch for a new one because the springs went. I asked about the warrantee on the springs. Yep, 10 years. Oh, then did she whine. “Never”, she said, had anyone ever made a warranty claim, in her career. While she is pitching a fabric protection warranty! Can you imagine? Without examining the old couch, she dismissed it. What a crock.

I negotiated for a fraction of the warranty promise, because “worn springs” is a subjective kind of thing, but I got $800 off a $3000 couch, I think it was. I didn’t want to fight with them about it. I think I was due the whole couch price.

Yes, R82, you need to be organized. That’s not always possible.

R83 you've posted about this before right?

R85, I think I’ve posted about the couch before.

Someday I’ll post about the free $3000 entertainment system I got. All legit, too.

R84, you are correct. Organization was central to his remarkable powers in this regard.

In the Sunday advertising supplements are always offers for checks. Within those offers, there is usually a rubber stamp you can order with your ow name and address. Just stamp your return address on any envelope you are mailing. They often say that if you move, you can send back your stamp and they will update it with the new address for life!

Bless his heart, he sent that thing back again and again. I know that he updated it at least five times over 15 years. For free. Had he not died, he would still be sending it back. But it was his skill at filing things away that made it possible.

That actually sounds very charming, R87. Sorry for your loss.

Flexible Spending Accounts at work are underutilized. The rules have changed, but there’s a lot you can save there. I have back problems. One thing I learned is that they must reimburse you for expenses you incurred while you are at that company, even if you’ve since left. Also, they must reimburse you for your full expenses, even if you’ve left your job, and spent more than you’ve contributed.

I left two jobs in one year. I contributed very little to both of my FSAs, but got the max out, at that time, I think it was $5000 each, from expenses I wisely timed. And it’s tax free. It’s a benefit you work for. It’s part of your pay and you shouldn’t neglect it. It works like an insurance plan. If you make even a single fire insurance payment, and have a fire, you get paid.

It does feel weird getting so much back, but that’s the rules.

Driving in stop-and-go traffic on an Interstate through a city, the driver ahead of me slammed on her brakes, causing me to rear-end her. Her car's bumper was completely detached and laying on the road. The cops came, took a report, and left. Later, she reported to her insurance company that she'd smelled alcohol on my breath. This was a lie. This prompted my insurance company to investigate her, and it turned out she had damaged her own car months before and opened a policy retroactively to pay for the damage. When the claim was denied, she got on the road to try to find some sucker to drive in front of, slam on her brakes, and blame the damage on them.

This obviously exceeds any reasonable person's ambitions to be budget-conscious, but there is a common thread with cheapskates in that they're willing to shit on anyone if they can save a few bucks.

"the driver ahead of me slammed on her brakes, causing me to rear-end her. "

Actually, the fact that you were driving to close to her was the cause of the rear-ending. She may be an awful person, but you were also in the wrong.

No, R91. That's not how it works. R90 described a crime that is well known to the police and to insurance companies.

[quote]Actually, the fact that you were driving to close to her was the cause of the rear-ending.

She did it faster than I could have possibly responded, R91.

Where is the -"make soup and freeze, it's cheap"- whore?

Was he a kleptomaniac, R77? That sounds like it's more than thrift going on.

I’m with R90.

Never flush the toilet after going #1, only after #2. In warm weather months dry your clothes on a clothes line, not the dryer. Pretend your car is in the shop once in a while and ask a coworker for a ride.

That could be me, R94 -- but I'm not the only one, surely. I've seen that "tip" in cookbooks and government pamphlets that were published during the Great Depression, simply because it's true.

Very droll.

[quote]Someday I’ll post about the free $3000 entertainment system I got. All legit, too.

Just because you took the money from petty cash doesn't make it "free" or legit.

Using your hole doesn't make it free either!

R2, who said you have to take the whole roll You can just take a little bit at a time, so it fits in your pocket.

I make soup and freeze it all the time. I also make my own soup stocks ( chicken as well as vegetable) from scratch, but all in all it's not that inexpensive. I'd say it comes out to about $2.50-$3.00 a quart, which is cheap, but not that cheap.

hotel sheets and mattresses...probably got bedbugs!

I was never trying consciously to save money, but I’ve cooked a big stew or lentil soup and we put it up and have another meal or two from it. Not trying to be thrifty, I just make big pots of stew and soup.

Save on transportation by begging subway riders for a free "swipe". I've given many free swipes to many riders. I enjoy helping out!

I remember when Jack in the box had .99 cent Jumbo Jacks. What a great deal both in price and taste.