When you are on your deathbed...

Being there for my niece and nephew, not judging them, and helping them when I can. I'm not the best person, but I think I'm a good uncle. My sister divorced their father after he killed his girlfriend and was going to kill my sister and the kids. She had it rough, and died about 10 years ago from cancer. Though they went to live with a very good friend of my sister, I tried to be there for them, even cross country.

Very noble R1 - you deserve to be proud.

I’m not expecting to be proud of anything. I’ve been a good person while trying to appreciate life. But realized the idea of leaving a lasting legacy or impact on the world is a fallacy. Except may for nephews/nieces for a few years, I’ll pass into the dust like 99.9% of the people before and after me. I’m ok with that and it’s taken the pressure off trying to “be something” or “do something”. Just passing through.

That I saw the world, or a good part of it, and that I was able to share the same with my partner.

We both grew up in poor families who couldn't travel beyond anywhere our cars could take us. I was in an inner city neighborhood so bad my parents wouldn't let us play outside. So I spent summers in my room with my World Book Encyclopedia set, staring at all the places I would to go "one day." The red tile roofs of San Jose, Costa Rica come to mind vividly. I literally cried (as a 41 year old) when I looked out of my hotel window and saw them. I was the 8 year old boy who wanted to escape into his future all over again, but I actually did it.

My partner grew up in a rural setting where people lived and died where they were born. He and his family are foodies and it brings me great joy to see him taste the flavors of the world with eye-opening wonder and discovery. He doesn't see it because he's busy eating, but I have to smile and watch him on our travel dining adventures. He just wonders why I'm not eating and/or taking so long to finish my meal. I'm so grateful he puts up with the hassles of travel (and his partner's travel and general neuroticism). That 8 year old boy wanted to see the world with someone who would appreciate it with him, and he finally is (after A LOT of false starts)!

Living the life of my dreams today. For that deathbed.

The fact I made it to my death bed organically and not forcefully.

I studied hard and worked hard. I prided myself on doing the best at the company I worked in.

What a waste of a life

[quote]What will you think back on as your greatest accomplishments in life?

It took forever.

Thankfully it was filmed.

I could (and do!) suck cock with the best of them.

I enjoy it. The owners of the cocks I have sucked enjoyed it. It is something that is an important part of this physical life. Everyone should suck more cock!

I was a nice person who tried to treat everyone with respect. and that's good enough

Spend lots of time on DL

My son (though it’s hard to take credit because I think he was born with an incredibly kind soul), my animal activism and volunteerism and being present while several friends and family have passed over. Grief is excruciating but it’s an honor and privilege to be with another being as they transition.

R9 Yes it is. *quick hug*

As long as you're still breathing, there's time to make changes that will improve your life.

R3, you are delightful.

That I devoted the last half of my life to being an activist for animals and so when I die, if God turns out to be a chicken, I'm going to sail right through those gates.

R13 - interesting. I think at 52 I’ve achieved a lot of that after decades on the work/capitalism treadmill. The most important thing I’ve done is quit my soul sucking (but well-paid) job. I now enjoy my life for the first time in 30 years. And I’ve spent a lot of time with the people I love - who are now beginning to die. And I’ve travelled to places I love. And I’ve strengthened my relationship with my husband.

Work and the belief that I needed a lot of things and the desire to impress people almost caused me to let life pass me by. By simplifying financially and quitting a stressful job, my life is all I wanted I to be. I’m grateful I got to experience this and will be unhappy but not regretful if I die tomorrow.

[quote] In the R13 post, the #1 regret is as follows: 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I’ve seen this before here or elsewhere. I’ve always wondered if the people mean “coming out”?

It can mean a lot of things, R17. Some women have children when they'd rather not, for instance.

Performing on Broadway. It was my life’s dream and I achieved it at age 25 (19 years ago).

That I had a bed.

I doubt I'd be thinking about my accomplishments if I knew I was going to die soon. My thoughts would be having the most handsome males nurses and attendants taking care of my needs. I've left instructions with my closest friend who will make the final arrangements to make sure this happens. Not that I'm going anytime soon, but I like to plan ahead. Though in the end I'd like to die with dignity and grace - that would probably be my greatest accomplishment.

Occasionally, when I do something that I’m really proud of, I make a mental note of it. I don’t remember more than 2 right now. But I at least know there are a bunch.

I may have saved a guy’s life once.

I ran into a burning room to save somebody another time.

I’ve been attentive to my parents and grandmother. But they were good people, so that was easy.

I’m a good egg, generally.

Are you single, R22? Are you cut?

Yes, yes, R23, but you want a bad boy. They all do.

Being the founder of a non-profit AIDS support/service organization in a conservative community.

Taking care of my parents.

But I'll also regret not taking better care of my brother who died.

I've been there - flat-lined, in anaphylactic shock, fortunately in the ER - and I wasn't thinking about my greatest accomplishments. Anything but.

I was wondering if I'd left any porn out back at the apartment.

Clearly, it wasn't my time, but at the time that's what I was thinking about

Not letting my family, especially my father and brother, destroy my soul or curiosity. I got myself a decent education, a high paying corporate job that I enjoyed and involved much travel to Europe, it was a life I never would have imagined even a possibility. I feel at home in Europe and Asia and visit them twice a year. Then around age 50 decided to go back to school and study medicine, a second career that I now enjoy immensely, and, again, often cannot believe I am doing what I am doing. Along the way, I hope I've helped people as much as I could. I also have many regrets, I am human. We learn and grow through failure.

^^^and challenge

Hopefully I'll be too wasted on hardcore drugs to give a shit.

Re: R22, oh yes, I remember another one. I posted this elsewhere recently, but I’m proud of it, so stick it if you don’t like repeats. I think this might have been one of the best things I ever did.

My boss promoted me on a Monday to manage three of her other employees. On Tuesday morning, she called me into her office and told me to fire Rose, the only Black woman out of about 125 people on the floor. This was after the boss previously fired the only Black guy.

I refused. I told her that she should fire her for past behavior if she wanted. I even told Rose what was happening. Then my boss turned on me, of course. Finally, I went to her boss, an Indian who, no doubt, had a different upbringing and view of White Privilege, and I spoke to HR. I wasn’t as forceful as I would be today., though, because she should have been fired that very day.

As it was, I transferred out. That boss left soon after. I don’t know under what terms. I ran into Rose years later, and she was thrilled to see me. She was still there.