Donner Party RUINED Because of Rude Guests
I had a little dinner party tonight, just 87 of us snowed-in for the winter. One couple I invited because they are new friends of some dear hors d'oeuvres, so I told them to come along. They seem fun and are new to butter-churning and horse shoes. I had one rule: don't bring anything.
Well, what does that bitch couple bring but a BASKETFULL OF EYEBALLS!!! And I already had a trio of eyeball souffles prepared! You know what they brought? Fucking marinated eyeballs to mix with salads from tree bark!!!! I was livid — the other guests took one each to be polite, which then filled them up before my skin-wrapped tongue crêpes. Have you ever experienced such a thing?? I don't mind eating the flesh of those who died of natural causes, but I don't need to see them looking back at me! How fucking RUDE!
They will NEVER be invited over again!
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 23, 2019 5:49 PM
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LOL!!! W&W for OP! I think this may be parody of parody since I think the original post this is based on couldn't possibly be true. But, still... I enjoyed this.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 21, 2019 4:21 AM
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Op you failed your creative writing class, what made you thing you would do any better here?
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 21, 2019 4:44 AM
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Is this another GeorgeGlass thread?
What, no cupcakes to a cannibal fest?
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 21, 2019 4:55 AM
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Poor OP, all that effort and it’s not even faintly amusing.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 21, 2019 5:20 AM
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Because I can spell "think," r3. I can also think.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 21, 2019 5:56 AM
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I’m lost. Color me ignorant but I don’t get this parody at all, and yes, I know about the cupcake thread.
Isn’t Donner one of Santa’s reindeer? Eyeballs? What movie did I miss?
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 21, 2019 8:34 AM
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I appreciate the effort that took, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 21, 2019 11:54 AM
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I knew George Donner, OP, and you are no George Donner.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 21, 2019 2:36 PM
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I am young. What does all of this mean.
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 21, 2019 2:59 PM
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any self respecting host always serves donner kebabs
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 21, 2019 3:15 PM
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Did you cut the brain sandwich in half for the autistic / special needs child ?
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 21, 2019 3:32 PM
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No questions, newbies! NO.QUESTIONS.EVER :(
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 21, 2019 3:41 PM
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Cockfish sandwiches and nuttsack poppers would have been the trick with a white cream sauce!
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 21, 2019 3:43 PM
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R10, I think you mean you're channeling Lloyd Bentson.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 21, 2019 5:32 PM
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I've actually met people who'd never heard of the Donner Party -- one of them is Korean, but there's no excuse for the others. American public education indeed!
The Reed family survived and made its way to San Jose, Calif, where several streets in the neighborhood where they settled are named after them: Reed, William, Margaret, Martha, Virginia, Lewis, Carrie, Patterson, and Keyes (aka Tommy).
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 21, 2019 6:36 PM
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And they wonder, with an origin story like that, why California is a mess.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 21, 2019 7:04 PM
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I bring a special dish to contribute to the meal, and THIS is the thanks I get!
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 21, 2019 8:52 PM
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"Donner Party of 8..7..6..5,4,3,2,1."
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 21, 2019 10:04 PM
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Wow, we have some phonies on the original thread trying to take credit for my tragedy!
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 22, 2019 7:22 AM
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