Dealing with Friends Who Don't Know How to Do Phone

I don’t talk on the phone except for figuring out logistics and as a favor to family members who don’t text. I grew up with a mother who was on the phone from 7 PM to 10 PM every night talking someone’s ear off—that would be my nightmare.

OP is yet another person on here who's so proud to be bitchy and anti-social....so he posts a thread about it.

Sorry I have another call coming in that I have to take. It was nice talking. Bye.

I have a friend who taught me this trick. You go to the door and ring the doorbell - make sure you have your phone on speaker, so that your caller can hear the doorbell. As soon as you hear the ding dong, you say, "Oh, I'm so sorry - someone's at the door. I'll have to call you back" .

[quote]I have several friends, whom I love dearly, but I am often reluctant to call them -- unless I have infinite time...How do you deal with friends who talk too much on the phone?

I tell them to stop calling me because they're bored and want me to entertain them until they're bored of talking with me.

My cousin can breathlessly swing from one topic to the next for hours. 40 minutes is nothing. Try 2 hours. I've never had a conversation with her less than that - and if we do, she says she'll call me back after she does something.

Love her to death - but it's A LOT. It's entertaining somewhat, so it's hard to fault it - it's just the quantity is wayyyy too much.

I have a good, old friend like this - you can never spend less than an hour on the phone with her. I only answer or return about 1 in 5 of her calls, and only when I know I have the time.

A bunch of Eldergay problems here. Who talks on the phone anymore? Text conversations are so much better. You choose when the reply, and you have a history of the conversation as a reference.

I have a friend like that who can go on and on and on and ON for half an hour. Trying to halt the onslaught by talking over her or repeating her name is useless. I stopped calling, interact with her by email only.

People still TALK on the phone? A phone can do that?

I have a friend who is on the phone with her closest friend for hours at a time, a few times a week. They call one another, make small talk, and then stay on the line while they do other things. Imagine forgetting your earbuds are in and tidying up the apartment and peeing and then hearing your friend in your ear chirp up in your ear with, "Guess who I saw yesterday"?

[quote]A bunch of Eldergay problems here. Who talks on the phone anymore? Text conversations are so much better.

Um...no, they're not.

I prefer texting. I don't focus well when I'm on the phone and I'm embarrassed by how often I realize I've zoned out. In person I'm able to focus.

[quote]Who Don't Know How to Do Phone

You get them a pencil and help them dial.

Did I leave the R6 message in my sleep? It’s too close to home for words, especially the “it’s entertaining, love her to death” BUT.................

as soon as you get on the phone say I only have 10 minutes because I have something I have to do. Then the next time tell them you have so much to do that you have limited your phone time to 15 minutes. When the time is up say, sorry I have to go.

My asshole uncle would call, talk my ear off for 30 minutes, then say "Oh someone's at the door gotta go" and hang up. I just learned to do other stuff while he was talking because I knew when he was done he'd lie and hang up on me.

Most of what he talked about were fake girlfriends his two gay sons had anyway. Miserable family.

All phones should automatically shut off after 15 minutes, whatever the consequences. So people can escape.

It's a terrible depression and I'm so depressed I can hardly talk on the phone.

What is wrong with talking about jobs, travels, etc. whilst on the phone?

[quote]All phones should automatically shut off after 15 minutes, whatever the consequences. So people can escape.

Or people should gain a modicum of maturity and learn how to manage both their relationships with other people and their phone usage, so they don't need to "escape" from anything.

Either one would probably work though my options would probably have fewer negative consequences.

I don't know about OP, but I do feel sorry for his/her friends, having to deal with someone who says idiotic things like 'how to do phone'. I admire them for even bothering to speak to him/her.

This isn't just a phone issue.

I like to text to set up dinner, etc.

But If I text one friend "Are you free to join us for dinner this Friday at 8:30?" my phone will start dinging like a slot machine. Suddenly, I will have six very long texts in a row making observations about things he has seen.

I want to tell him: You don't understand how texts work.

[quote]What is wrong with talking about jobs, travels, etc. whilst on the phone?

Spare me ever having to talk on the phone with anyone who uses "whilst" talking about ANY topic!

You sound like a tedious Quentin Crisp parody.

I have this problem in-person with one friend.

They are very funny and I enjoy their company, but every dinner has to be three hours. We have to close the place down and then he says, "Let's find someplace to get coffee and talk!" And then he acts hurt when I say I need to get home.

It's so fucking exhausting.

[quote]Spare me ever having to talk on the phone with anyone who uses "whilst" talking about ANY topic! You sound like a tedious Quentin Crisp parody.

And you look like THIS >

If you have a good friendship, you could directly tell them that their little phone details are boring so you'll prefer different sorts of experiences, and they'd understand, and you'd stay friends.

Instead you complained on the Internet.

[quote]If you have a good friendship, you could directly tell them that their little phone details are boring

Do you have ANY friends?

Gee you have a serious problem!

R24 Grow up... you burned out, damaged hyper-swish queen.

[quote]All phones should automatically shut off after 15 minutes, whatever the consequences. So people can escape.

That is an option, apparently.

Several years ago, the man who sold me a computer told me about selling systems to a Hutterite colony. They wanted to computerize their business records, but they required strict limitations on the internet and other sinful modern things. He had to meet their business and religious requirements, but found it hard to negotiate because their phones would only allow a 10-minute call before disconnecting.

[quote]They wanted to computerize their business records, but they required strict limitations on the internet and other sinful modern things.

Or, stated a different way, they wanted to pretend there was some religious reason for being luddites, but then got lazy and needed to figure out a rationalization to justify their actions to protect their delusions.

[quote]Grow up... you burned out, damaged hyper-swish queen.

Said while slinging an empty cocktail glass against a bright pink wall.

Guys, grow a pair.

"I have to go, talk to you again soon."

It's not that hard.

R34 - We would say that if we could ever get a fucking word in edgewise. You lead a blessed life if you can’t relate to the problem in this thread.

Of course I can relate to it, twat. SPEAK UP. Are you mutes? Is the volume control on your phone broken?

"Hey, hey, HEY! Let me get a word in, darling. Look, I'm right in the middle of everything and I have got to go, talk to you again soon. kiss kiss." Click.

There. The Get His/Her Attention and Then Bugger Off Politely version.

Jesus dude - you’re quite the twat yourself. I was actually half joking. But you perhaps don’t have super needy chatterbox friends that wouldn’t STFU anyway - and then would go on and on about you being selfish or rude to all your other friends. That’s why one chooses not to answer every time they happen to ring - they are nice enough people, just in limited doses.

The phone is so last century. I have a cousin who still wants to randomly demand my attention for a long chat. Everyone else texts or e-mails and we chat in person. Phone calls are for important topics that need to be addressed now.

R38 - long calls are great for friends who live far way - and who you only talk to a few times a year. Short calls are often quicker for making plans than texting.

“Short” calls are still unnecessary interruptions. Texts can be attended to when convenient.

Texting is like trying to communicate by “message in a bottle.” It is annoyingly slow, incomplete, and the opportunities for misunderstanding abound. And noting is more interrupting than the constant ding of the tri-tone. Short calls rule. I have set my boundaries. Please pass the nut-loaf.

[quote] Jesus dude - you’re quite the twat yourself.

Thank you.

[quote] I was actually half joking.

No, you weren't.

[quote] But you perhaps don’t have super needy chatterbox friends that wouldn’t STFU anyway

Asked and answered.

[quote] - and then would go on and on about you being selfish or rude to all your other friends.

Ah. Here we have it, the essential ball-free wonder of you. This is your problem. You are held hostage on the fucking telephone because you're afraid that one cunty friend will tell your other friends that you were mean to him/her. As if they don't have the exact same problem with him/her that you do. Duh.

[quote] That’s why one chooses not to answer every time they happen to ring - they are nice enough people, just in limited doses.

That is why one chooses not to answer every time anyone rings, dear, and why one chooses to terminate a call when one has had enough of it. Stop whining, stop making excuses, grow a pair.

If it involves more than 3 rounds of text, pick up the fucking phone.

No dear R42 - the real reason I’m occasionally held hostage on the phone by one old friend in particular is because life doesn’t always work out for all of us equally and some friends end up sadder and lonelier then they were back when you befriended them in the first place. We are both different people than we were 30 years ago, and I doubt I’d become good friends with her now, but the past counts for something and eventually you realize you can’t make new old friends. Should I cut her off on the phone and / or cut her out of my life - maybe - and perhaps my compassion for her does sometimes border on pity - but I’ve decided that when I do have the time and the energy for one of her calls, I pick up. Doesn’t mean I enjoy the calls past the first 10 minutes, but I know that she does. Doesn’t mean I don’t complain about the calls from time to time on anon chat boards & with mutual friends. But I do pick up about half the time - for old times sake, for the people we both used to be, and because I’m fully aware that I have my own annoying traits. Enjoy your balls.

Years ago, I had a friend who would talk so much, I could put the phone down, take my dog for a walk, come back, pick up the phone, make an acknowledging remark, and she would never notice I had gone.

[quote]Enjoy your balls.

And never forget to share them.

I dont like when people call me for what could have been a text. It also grates my nerves when a friend texts that they have something to tell me, and when I call them its something they could've just texted. And these are usually the same ones who can talk for hours! Whenever I get one of those "something to tell you" or "call me asap" texts, I block their asses for days and tell them I got really busy and didn't have time to respond.

I also hate my boss, who as he approaches retirement, still conducts much of his business by phone. He wastes so much time playing phone tag with people, and complains when someone's voicemail box is full, instead of just sending a simple email. Bitch, they keep their voicemail boxes full cause they don't want to talk to your ass. Send an email!