How does a person get poor boundary issues

OP- sounds like your friend is on the spectrum. Social ineptness is a key feature.

He's very personable though otherwise r1. It is just this odd area where he just goes too far with wanting details most of the time.

R2 Just tell him he's too nosy and it makes people uncomfortable. You'd be doing him a favor even if he's offended.

Autism.

When people do that to me my stock answer is, “are you writing a book? If so, leave that chapter out.”

Is your friend Tommy Wiseau?

I don't think it's so much that people "get poor boundary issues" as that they never develop good boundaries. Little kids will ask anybody anything they want to know; they need a parent to explain that some questions are rude and inappropriate. If your friend is not in fact on the spectrum or otherwise afflicted with some actual social-functioning disorder, he just needs a few people to be blunt and tell him to mind his own business.

I told my kid to do a Bon Qui Qui “RUDE!” If someone asks her an intrusive question.

It seems to work.

Some people just don’t have a filter. Depends on their upbringing sometimes. He could be on the spectrum. Not all people who have Autism are completely socially inept. It isn’t always obvious. I used to mess with a guy on the spectrum. He has a job in the hospitality industry and is good with people on the surface. It’s when you really get to know him that you realize he is Autistic. He never knew how to properly initiate sex. He just got naked and sat there waiting for me. Was pretty funny stuff.

True R7. My best friend would sing in the showers at the gym showers. I would always run out the showers when he'd start w that shit. That is until some guy came up to him while he was singing (in the shower), and told him that was interfering with their relaxation time and to cut that shit out. Never heard my best friend do that again.

Are they foreigners? People from other cultures don't understand us.

I know a rich eldergay who says "I'm rich, old and thick-skinned". He always embarrasses me asking intimate questions from strangers in the city.

Sometimes it's because people are on the spectrum, sometimes it's because people are just exceedingly interested in the details of other people's lives, sometimes it's because they were raised by wolves and have poor social skills.

Think of the kids raised by the Disney-brawl family, do you think they have any idea where normal social boundaries lie? And it's not just people who were raised by the obviously feral, I come from a middle-class home that looked great on the outside, but It took me forever to learn basic social skills and where the normal social boundaries lay... as I was raised by a toxic narcissist who did not think that anyone but her had a right to boundaries. If you grow up hearing a narcissist talk about themselves in a way that tells you things you didn't want to know, and be mean to other people in a way that has absolutely no respect for their boundaries or feelings, and are abused if you express any opinions yourself, as a young adult you have no idea how normal people interact and what is and isn't allowable in social interaction or in the workplace.

It takes forever to learn normal social cues and boundaries even if you're willing to learn, and not all people are. Some people are just too self-absorbed or angry at the world to want to learn, and they're doomed to lives of misery and frustration.

Some bipolar people have no filter and say very inappropriate things to people too.

that could be it r13. This person does have big mood swings.

Aspergers for sure.

That's what I figured Op. My ex was bipolar. He always reminded me of an alien who doesn't know how humans operate. No filter, wild irrational mood swings. It was hell on earth.

Okay, you're all going to laugh about this but, why can't people have boundaries when at the YMCA? We have one , and it's a very family friendly place. The stories I've heard from people that work there are awful. Rules are rules dude,,follow them.

- You look like a prostitute! Are you a prostitute?

- You'll have to excuse my mother, Blanche. She had a stroke a few years ago that left her, if I can be frank, a complete burden.