Regrets, I've had a few

Selling my Yahoo and Starbucks stock in 1996. I was a poor grad student.

I should have paid cash for my house when I could, kick myself in the butt everyday.

I have so many, but the biggest is not staying in London forever and ever when I had the chance.

You should ask the OP of "I almost suffocated from rimming a guy last night" right above this tread,

I regret ways I did and didn't behave with certain boyfriends. I also regret breaking up with 2 of them. There was probably more story with those 2 but I gay in to vague dissatisfaction and fear of deeper intimacy.

gay in? ha. gave in

the time I spend on the DL

Shelling out a buck and a half.

Not continuing tap classes when I finished high school.

Really.

R9 It's not too late.

Really.

Not understanding until late in life that those who don't ask don't get.

Giving up a 2 BR rent controlled apartment in Greenwich Village.

R12, was a man involved? Were you dickmatized?

Getting involved with bisexual men when I first came out. I was so stupid!!!!

Not taking a leave of absence to help my Mom care for my Dad.

That should not have been signed -Dad.

r9

No one could ever teach you anything.

Moving to DC after college. Vile fucking place full of nerds. Thank god I got out.

Not finishing the one class I could have to get me my BA... I was too busy being at the bar. I “walked”, but never got my diploma. After 5 years at school, too! Ugh! I think I’ll go to bed now. Lol.

(R3) : That’s my biggest one too, only it was Dublin. I studied abroad there my junior year of college, and I never should’ve got on the plane to come home at the end of the year! LOL.

(R12$13) WOW! Lmao! Right!?

Too many OP. It hurts to even read your post. My life has been a series of errors.

Not buying a one bedroom apt overlooking Washington Square Park for $15k it’s now worth $1.5 million

a guy named Ken. another named David.

The secret of having a good life, is to have a bad memory

Even if it turns out that a decision made in the past ended up being a bad decision, you made the best decision you could at the time so there is no point in regretting them now. If we could all have do-overs, we'd buy Amazon stock from the beginning or stupid Bitcoin. We all had those options as well, but didn't take them.

Not being more selfish.

I spent the first 40 years of my life giving up my life for others.

Now at 46 I have nothing to show for that, while my siblings are all working great jobs and rolling in money.

"Regrets, I've had a few"

Lexapro has allowed me to not go there.

Not buying Amazon or Apple stock with a windfall I received in 1996.

R18 DC is indeed awful. Nastiest, coldest, most humorless, uptight cunts on the planet. Also almost comically self important. And there is nothing to fucking do there.

R27 Similar situation here. I was guilted into "doing the right thing " with fuck all to show for it.

R31 if like me, you were guilted by family members who had a vested interest in you doing all the work so they could live their own lives, then I know what you went through.

It's amazing how much emotion they could muster up to condemn me for being selfish because I wanted to move to another city for a better job, then when they were sure I wasn't going anywhere, they'd move to another city for a better job.

Not a day goes by that I don't worry about my future.

Never learned to play a musical instrument....always regretted that. Could learn now I suppose but any musical creativity I may have had is now gone.

Chasing after promotions, possessions moving cross country 4 times, always hoping the next destination would bring me happiness. It did not .

No one ever stays in my life

R32 I hear you. It stinks being stuck in a role you didn't ask for and would not have chosen for yourself.

waiting ten years to come out. knew in college. coulda had a lot more fun, dammit.

R36: Cowards are everywhere. I'm sure the men who are cowards like you helped you through and gave you more tips to remain a coward? Datalounge itself has more cowards than men with balls and backbone.

Going to the dentist when my gums started bleeding. Now I've got advanced periodontitis...

Moving away from almost everyone and everything I knew to a city I have come to loathe. Not saving more money so that I could have plastic surgery and not have to be ugly my whole adulthood. Going into a totally different line of work. I could go on and on.

You will find as you go through life, "good luck" is nothing more than having the financial resources to overcome your bad decisions.

Not necessarily getting with a guy but my reaction to him. Not sure how to categorize it but during breakup, had a physical/nervous breakdown that has affected my digestion system for 15 years. Not life-threatening but now have nasty symptom that inhibits me socially. Totally fucked up my dating life and career.

R40 very true.

R31 and R32 - thanks for posting. I’m three years into having moved back home to care for an aging mother - and it’s ruined my life psychologically, socially and financially. Every day I’m tempted to say screw it and go back to living for myself - but my guilt is too overwhelming - both external and internal. She has now grown dependent on me - and my siblings are all busy with their kids which is deemed more important than my life (in which I chose not to have the burden of kids - or having kids to take care of me in old age). Turning really bitter and angry at my mother.

Hearing your regret makes me more seriously consider just taking care of myself - and the one life I have - and stop wasting the few years I have left being absolutely miserable taking care of an entitled old mother who thinks it’s my job as her kid to sacrifice my life to take care of her. I’m sick of it.

R43 I'm sorry to read about your situation.

Honestly, some days I hate that I permitted myself into being bullied by my siblings to be the family caregiver, but at the same time I've had a very good relationship with my parents.

I took care of my father when he was dying and my mother and I were with him when he died.

I take care of my mother and I love her and we have a good relationship and I wouldn't give that up for anything. Please don't be offended by this, but my mother is opposite of yours; she feels bad that I've given up so much for our family and she genuinely appreciates that I'm here to take care of her.

But some days I worry about my own future.

My siblings are all well off and won't have to worry about retirement, but I'll be working til the day I drop dead. They have nice houses, I live in a two bedroom apartment that I can only afford because my mother lives with me. They lease new cars when they get bored with the old ones, I'm desperately trying to keep my 12 year old car running. They take a couple of vacations every year, but I've never been more than two hours away from home.

My life and schedule revolves around my mother and some days I'd like to be able to just live my life for myself, but I can't.

I don't know what the future holds for people like us R43 and R31 and me. I do know that no one in my family would ever consider taking care of me like I've taken care of our parents.

But I have promised myself that when my mother is gone I will get as far away from my family as possible because I will not become a caregiver for them. I saw that happen to a co-worker--her father died and when she thought she was free, her sister was diagnosed with MS and she ended up taking care of her. She said she felt like a prisoner was was given parole only to be locked up again the very next day.

Thanks R44 . My fear is that there won’t be many options by the time I’m done caring for my mother. Don’t want to regret giving up the few good years left to ensure someone else’s last few years are better. Nobody I worked with had to deal with this. Seems like no one else suspends their life to care for elderly parents. Maybe gay men are the suckers and we need to be more selfish.

"Mom and Dad, please remember that I DECIDED TO TURN GAY just to torture and disappoint you as you originally thought, NOT so I'd be available to change your diapers in your old age! Got it?"

Cheating on my husband. I was going through a tough time and gave in to temptation. He took me back and we are working through things. I don’t ever want to hurt him like that again.

[quote]I'll start, not moving to LA after college.

I did move to LA after college, and it was a disaster. I left after one year.

You can thank me for being the guinea pig for you so you didn't have to waste your time or money.

R47: You will. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

R44 If you're the caregiver, your mom should be giving you all of the inheritance, especially if your siblings are all well-off.

R44 R45, I feel you. My husband and I are the reliable couple who does everything for my parents. My brother and sister are selfish and useless in that department. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of sometimes, but I know if I don’t step up and look after them nobody will. What really hurts is how my folks can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that we do everything for them, yet, they still insist on doing things for my siblings that they don’t deserve. Helping them to buy houses and giving them whatever they ask for. It’s ridiculous. They bend over backwards for my self centered siblings, wouldn’t dream of ever telling them no. They are intimidated or something. Like if they push too hard my brother and sister will cut them out of their lives. I’m the one they always call and ask to take them places, or do stuff for them. They won’t even ask my sister. When I asked my dad about it, he said it was too much hassle for her. Like it’s not a hassle for me to drive out al, the time and help them? Why is her time more precious than mine and my husband's? I love my parents and I don’t want to regret not being there for them, but on the flip side I don’t want to regret being a wimp. Sigh. I guess I am doomed to have regrets no matter what decisions I make.

R51 Like R44, Your parents should be leaving everything to you once they're gone.

Below is one of my favorite quotes. I think you, your husband, and your parents could all learn something from it.

never dated anyone in a uniform.

I regret not telling Erik Rhodes to go kill himself before he died. Now I'll never get the chance.

I should have stayed with my first boyfriend back in my 20s. He truly loved me but I wanted more excitement and adventure. Yes I had my fun after we broke up, but looking back, the end results were heartbreak and remorse as a result of being with the wrong men for the wrong reasons at the wrong time. How I didn't become HIV+ is a mystery.

Perhaps it all worked out for the best, but I'll never know. He is currently in a long term relationship and seems to be happy. Perhaps in the end it all worked out for both of us.

R50 honestly there isn't much of an inheritance to expect. More likely than not there will be some bills I'll have to cover when my mother dies.

Minor: Not giving my number to that lanky Latino airplane mechanic.

Major: should have gone to law school.

Minor: Not giving my number to that lanky Latino airplane mechanic.

Major: should have gone to law school.

Minor: Not giving my number to that lanky Latino airplane mechanic.

Major: should have gone to law school.

WHO is the damn fool who has been peppering threads for the past few weeks with ANNOYING MULTIPLE POSTS???!!!

Either learn how to post, fix your piece of shit computer, or leave DL!

One of the biggest regrets I have is not going to see a close friend of mine before he died because I couldn't take the time off work.

DataLounge is sometimes buggy like that, r60.

p.s. page the nurse, your drip is empty.

No one else is doing it, fool!

I just did in another thread R63. Hit post once, but two identical comments were posted.

r63 I myself got hit with the double-post bug, and I most certainly hit the button ONCE, Mary.

but if a problem isn’t happening to you, it isn’t a problem? how is the republican party treating you?

Same person, above. ^^^

Rocco’s 10 inches more than make up for his face

Rocco’s 10 inches more than make up for his face

Choosing the wrong field in college and burning out of it, not that I could have known at the time.

R55 - same here. No inheritance - and in fact I’m actually paying her bills now. Always amazed how everyone I know is getting an inheritance AND don’t have to take care of their parents. Sometimes I’m not sure if I have regret or just anger at the injustice of the world. I guess I’ll know when she’s dead and when I’m approaching death myself.

I regret letting people know I inherited money. Have been very generous and I’m not an ATM machine.

I have no problem saying no and I’m resenting the subtle hints and people complaining about their finances to me I get what they’re doing and I slowly cut people off because of it. I’ve been generous to all of my close friends. Money gifts, nice dinners, all three and that’s enough no more.

I’m not a sucker. Got another nice size check from the estate low six figures last month didn’t tell anyone. I learned my lesson mums the word.

[quote] They won’t even ask my sister. When I asked my dad about it, he said it was too much hassle for her.... Why is her time more precious than mine and my husband's? I love my parents and I don’t want to regret not being there for them, but on the flip side I don’t want to regret being a wimp. Sigh. I guess I am doomed to have regrets no matter what decisions I make.

Since you'll be "doomed" either way, why not just say no to your parents? At least you'll feel shitty about one thing (saying no) rather than two things (saying yes and then actually having to do the thing you said yes to).

A gorgeous German guy named Howard who was way out of my league kissed me hard on my last night in Mykonos in 1985. I never got his last name, followed up, or even asked for a second kiss!

I would do it ALL differently today!

[quote]honestly there isn't much of an inheritance to expect. More likely than not there will be some bills I'll have to cover when my mother dies.

r56, make sure those bills are in your Mother's name. If there isn't money left in her estate to pay the bills then you are not responsible for the debt.

I have a solution to the invalid mother problem. Get a wheelchair, put her in the car, drive to an emergency room, take her out, put her in the wheelchair near the entrance, and burn rubber!

I agree with others if you are coerced into taking care of the invalid parent make sure you are the sole beneficiary in the will no matter how small the amount.

I hope R75 dies alone and it's weeks before anyone discovers his rotting corpse.

Re-starting to smoke after quitting for 10 years. Quit exercising, got fat, had heart surgery and struggled ever since. Stopped smoking before heart surgery but things have never been the same.

Regret asking my mom if she liked a movie she saw last week. Still listening to her detail every plot turn 15 minutes later...

R79 You should have told her that you haven't seen the movie yet, so stop giving it away so that you can be surprised. That should have gotten her to stop.

Cheating on my partner/spouse. He knows and it has strained us horribly due to my selfish actions.

Voting Liberal Democrat in 2010.

I regret having friends who said they were "independent" and looked at both sides of an issue only to find out they were total and complete Trumpeters and never voted Dem or progressive on anything as they go on long rants about Mexicans.

[quote]Got another nice size check from the estate low six figures last month didn’t tell anyone. I learned my lesson mums the word.

Why 'would' you tell anyone? You sound like trailer trash who just won the lottery. You got exactly what you deserved for boasting about your unearned windfall.

I've always been interested in vintage watches.

George Brown College in Toronto used to have a watchmakers course but the year I graduated high school they canceled the program from lack of interest.

I started looking around for someone to apprentice with but didn't have any luck.

One guy wanted me to buy his business and he said he would stay on and teach me what he knew about repairing watches.

He said we could work out a payment plan because he knew at 19 I didn't have money to buy his business outright.

I was afraid to follow through, (or rather was talked out of it by my "supportive" family,) and eventually declined the offer, which would have included the building and the two apartments above the building.

I regret not taking the offer and learning something I loved and having my own business, but I also regret it because that building was sold in 1999 by the people who took it over, for close to $2 million.

Not staying in Berlin and moving back to the US. Nowhere is perfect, but at least you can still have a decent middle class life there on a modest income. And while there are trashy people everywhere, there were certainly far fewer fundies and deplorable types to deal with.

A horse breeder from Spain named Geraldo who I met at a bar in London. He didn't speak much English and I didn't speak Spanish. We had a very romantic walk along the Thames and then somehow managed to communicate enough to hook up for a date where we had incredible sex. This was before email, text, apps. I was staying with a friend as was he so we couldn't really exchange telephone numbers. He ended up going back to Spain shortly after I met him.