Pete Buttigieg’s Life in the Closet

So much handsomeness in this photo. Who's the hot guy in the middle?!

Could someone cut and paste the article here? TIA

He was in the army, you can't be openly gay in the army back then.

I find disturbing so many articles questioning if he is the right kind of gay. Disturbing and pathetic

It's super long, r2...

Wonder if his former girlfriend will come out and start spilling tea....

Cultural appropriation at R1, cultural appropriation!

The comment section is full of straight people cheering him on, and bitter gay guys saying how they came out in the '80s already and what it might mean for his presidency if he was too chickenshit to come out until he was 33. We are our own worst enemies...

r5 I'm wondering about that as well. I'm sure the GOP oppo team is on it.

He seems like every other careerist Harvard robot-person. The gay hook makes him ...interesting? I like him fine and would vote for him in a second over our current monster but eh. Boring.

Presidents should enact the party policy and represent the country in the world. We have TV shows and movies for excitement and titillation. It's exactly this mindset that made Trump's election possible.

Also, Obama was boring as well. Don't @ me.

if he wasn't gay, would he really be getting this much attention?

R10 He would have dropped out of the race by now.

He would've dropped out of the race being 5th in the polls, R11?

And for those asking if he weren't gay, would he be getting that much attention? A gay man (Karger?) ran in 2016 for the Republican nomination. Did anyone even hear a word about him? Under your theory, he should've been polling in the Repug top 5 or at least gotten tons of attention just for being gay. That didn't happen.

Would Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris be getting this much attention if they weren't women? Would Biden be getting this much attention if he wasn't Obama's VP? Would Bernie be getting this much attention if he wasn't only one of 2 major candidates for the Dem nomination last time? I don't know. So why are you singling Pete out for being gay?

R12, Why didn't Karger get much attention in 2016? Trump sucked all the oxygen out of the GOP. Also, Pete is campaigning with his husband, which is a first on the presidential level, and he's also a better candidate than Karger.

OP = Dale Peck.

The New Republic already handed your ass to you on a platter. How much more abuse do you want, you talent free queen?

Exactly, R13. It's a combination of factors for Pete just as it is for other people. Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren are getting a lot of attention because (a) they're women; (b) they're compelling candidates; and (c) some other intangible factors. If PB was a dud, he would be getting as much attention as Karger (none).

[quote] bitter gay guys saying how they came out in the '80s already and what it might mean for his presidency if he was too chickenshit to come out until he was 33.

There will be much of this on DL too.

What Pete is doing is forcing the gay community to recognize that there are many gay men who do not fit into the old school "Boys In The Band" mode, that for years guys like that often remained in the closet because they felt so alienated from the BITB style gays and what passed for "the gay community" (fear of dying from AIDS was clearly a huge factor too).

But I guarantee that you will read comments from DLers claiming that he is "just butching it up" and that "he's a big old Mary when he's alone with Chasten" and that he's "not gay enough" or damning him for being in the closet for so many years while they were out since kindergarten.

Pete's getting a lot of attention because he's saying things that actually make sense.

In that sense he's sort of like Warren, in that there's not a lot of grandstanding, it more common sense. He's clearly charming a lot of people and not just because he's gay

By the way, his voice has been the same at least since college (if not earlier). There are plenty of videos from his college days of him asking guests at the Harvard IOP questions. He sounds the exact same.

We should be supporting him no matter what. Who cares when he came out and his life before. The GOP will try to destroy him because he is an intelligent, well liked, viable candidate. They would be delighted to see us picking him apart and drawing battle lines of "who's in and who's out", or "who's sort of out or not out enough". We should rally around him. He's the real deal and we should be united.

For R2:

The closet that Pete Buttigieg built for himself in the late 1990s and 2000s was a lot like the ones that other gay men of his age and ambition hid inside. He dated women, deepened his voice and furtively looked at MySpace and Friendster profiles of guys who had come out — all while wondering when it might be safe for him to do so too.

Chris Pappas, who was two years ahead of Mr. Buttigieg at Harvard and is now a Democratic congressman from New Hampshire, said he arrived at college “pretty much convinced that I couldn’t have a career or pursue politics as an L.G.B.T. individual.” Jonathan Darman, who was one class ahead of Mr. Buttigieg, remembered how people often reacted to a politician’s coming out then: “It wasn’t a story of love but of acknowledging illicit desire.” And Amit Paley, who graduated in Mr. Buttigieg’s class, recalled that “it was still a time where vocalizing anti-gay sentiments was not only common, but I think pretty accepted.”

The thought that 15 years later someone they might have shared a dorm or sat in a lecture hall with would become the first serious openly gay candidate for president of the United States never crossed their minds. But no one would have found the possibility more implausible than the young man everyone on campus knew as Peter.

Mr. Buttigieg, now the mayor of South Bend, Ind., struggled for a decade after leaving Harvard to overcome the fear that being gay was “a career death sentence,” as he put it in his memoir.

Many in his generation and in his college class decided to come out as young adults, whether they were confident they would be accepted or not, and had their 20s to navigate being open about their identity — a process that helped make Americans more aware and accepting of their gay friends, family members and co-workers. Instead, Mr. Buttigieg spent those years trying to reconcile his private life with his aspirations for a high-profile career in public service.

Attitudes toward gay rights changed immensely during that period, though he acknowledges that he was not always able or willing to see what broader social and legal shifts meant for him personally.

“Because I was wrestling with this, I’m not sure I fully processed the idea that it related to me,” he said in an interview.

More than most people his age — even more than most of the ambitious young men and women he competed against at Harvard — he possessed a remarkably strong drive for perfection. He went on to become a Rhodes scholar, work on a presidential campaign, join the military and be elected mayor all before he turned 30. After being deployed with the Navy to Afghanistan in 2014, he said he realized he could die having never been in love, and he resolved to change that. He finally came out in 2015, when he was 33.

‘Someone Who Would Run for President’

He took a longer journey than his peers did, he has said, because of the inner turmoil he experienced over whether in fact he wanted to be known as the “gay” politician.

is record of accomplishment during those years in the closet is impossible to separate from the isolation and anxiety he felt as he weighed the cost of telling his family, friends and constituents who he really was. Pursuing so many goals had two outcomes, intentionally or not: It distracted his busy brain from a reality he wasn’t ready to face, and provided him the armor of a life experience that would make his sexual orientation just one of a litany of attributes.

“Peter struck me very early on, at 18 or 19, as someone who would run for president regardless,” said Randall Winston, a close friend of Mr. Buttigieg’s from college. Over beers and Chinese food, Mr. Winston said, they spent late nights on campus talking about the right and wrong reasons for getting into politics. “If you want to be a political leader, why?” he recalled. “Is it about yourself? Is it really about the good of the nation? I think he was asking himself those questions from the jump.”

Mr. Buttigieg said in the interview that if he had been interested in a career other than politics, he would have found the decision to come out much easier. “The arts is one where you could have jumped in there in the 2000s, and it would have been sort of incidental,” he said. “Whereas something like finance, it was getting there. And in politics it would have been completely defining.”

Few experiences in his young adulthood were as formative in shaping his identity as the hypercompetitive environment he encountered at Harvard. Even liberal Cambridge, where meeting a gay student or professor would have been fairly unremarkable, did not always nurture the sense of confidence that he and many of his gay classmates felt they needed to be themselves. At times their surroundings seemed to do just the opposite.

In interviews with a dozen of Mr. Buttigieg’s friends and classmates, people described a culture in which a mix of abundant ambition and youthful insecurity made students carefully attuned to the way they presented themselves to others.

Mr. Winston recalled the dual pressures of having high expectations for yourself while also being aware — sometimes realistically, sometimes not — that your classmates and professors had their own ideas about who you were too.

“I don’t want to say it’s all artifice — a lot of this is just common to growing up,” he said. But the culture at Harvard, he added, caused a lot of students to think, “‘O.K., I’m going to maintain this aura, this impression I’m giving to others.’”

A Life His Teenage Self Wouldn’t Believe

Describing the insecurities he felt as a young man, Mr. Buttigieg has said he sometimes marvels at how differently the world treats him today compared with what he expected when he was too afraid to come out. On the day he kicked off his presidential campaign, he said he had imagined what he would say to his teenage self. “To tell him that on that day he announces his campaign for president, he’ll do it with his husband looking on,” he said with a note of disbelief in his voice. “Would he believe me?”

Mr. Buttigieg took a long and fraught path from life as an undergraduate who once had a girlfriend to a presidential candidate who travels the country with his husband in tow. While he was still in the closet, the country became a different place very quickly. And to understand Mr. Buttigieg’s journey is to understand the microgeneration in which he came of age.

When members of the Harvard class of 2004 were juniors in high school, Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old gay man from Wyoming, was bludgeoned, tied to a fence post and left to die in a murder that shocked the nation’s conscience. By the time they shipped off to Cambridge, few would have any gay friends — at least ones who were open about it. And the idea of a man marrying another man, or a woman marrying another woman, seemed almost absurd. The closest thing gay men and lesbians had to marriage was a civil union, which in 2000 was legal in exactly one state: Vermont.

“Gay marriage was not this obvious liberal no-brainer,” said Mr. Darman, a journalist and historian who came out in his senior year of college, 12 years before Mr. Buttigieg would. While Harvard was certainly a liberal bubble, it was still in many ways very socially conventional in the early 2000s, he said. “In a lot of social settings at Harvard in that period, the default assumption was that you were straight. And that would not have been true even five years later.”

Friends and classmates remembered Mr. Buttigieg as thoughtful and clearly on a trajectory that would bring him success of some kind, even if it dawned on few of them that might mean the White House.

One thing no one seemed to peg him for was someone wrestling with being gay. He was so discreet that many of his friends and classmates said in interviews that they never would have guessed he was hiding anything until he told them. He left the testosterone-fueled campus sex banter to others. Hegel and de Tocqueville were more to his conversational tastes.

“His sexuality didn’t present as a really big thing in his life,” said Joe Flood, a classmate. “I think he always thought about himself politically,” he added, noting that Mr. Buttigieg would become active in the university’s Institute of Politics, an organization at the Kennedy School of Government that hosted big-name politicians like Senator Edward M. Kennedy and Howard Dean during their time in school. “You don’t end up there accidentally,” Mr. Flood said.

By the beginning of his sophomore year, Mr. Buttigieg had been elected to lead one of the institute’s committees. When he was a junior, he was elected as its president. His platform, in part, called for strengthening the community of politically minded students by having gatherings to watch “The West Wing.” He wrote for The Crimson under the byline Peter P.M. Buttigieg and covered subjects as disparate as Dave Matthews and Yeats. For fun, he and his friends sometimes indulged themselves with less-than-puerile pursuits like a day trip to the birthplace of John Adams.

There was a small, close-knit social circle of L.G.B.T.Q. students. But they existed a world apart from Mr. Buttigieg’s Harvard.

“We were definitely on opposite ends of the gay spectrum — he was closeted and I was literally the campus drag queen, Miss Harvard 2002,” said William Lee Adams, who graduated in Mr. Buttigieg’s class and is now a broadcaster at the BBC World Service in London. Mr. Adams started coming out at age 12. Arriving at Harvard from his home in Georgia, he said, was like “fleeing the desert.” The two were not friends, though Mr. Adams did recall his classmate as “sweet but rather serious.”

At the time, Mr. Adams said he was somewhat resentful of his peers who kept their identities hidden, having been bullied at school while he was growing up. Now, however, he is far more sympathetic because he better understands how personal it is to come out. “I felt a great sense of freedom at Harvard that I had never felt before because I could be out and not have food thrown at me,” he said. “Whereas Pete must have felt trapped, like he was in a straitjacket.”

Mr. Flood, who wrote for The Crimson and knew Mr. Buttigieg as a friend, said that someone who worked so hard and thought so intensely about his future had to feel frustrated as he realized there was this immutable aspect of his life he was helpless to change.

“It’s like the one thing he couldn’t control about who he was and how he was going to present and how he was going to do all these things,” he said.

But when Mr. Buttigieg and his peers left college and started embarking on their professional lives, the country was changing in significant ways, jolting their sense of what it could mean to be openly gay and have a high-profile career.

One of the biggest developments was right in Harvard’s backyard. In 2004, Massachusetts became the first state where same-sex couples could marry. Students flocked to Cambridge City Hall in the early-morning hours on May 17 to watch the first couples wed at 12:01 a.m. — the earliest moment possible under the new law. Mr. Buttigieg remembers the occasion but was not there. “I don’t remember feeling that connected to it actually,” he said.

Soon states from Iowa to Maine would start allowing same-sex couples to marry. Then Congress would repeal the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” ban on serving openly as gay or lesbian. And the Supreme Court would declare the rights of gay men and lesbians to have their relationships recognized by the state, first in 2013 when it struck down the Defense of Marriage Act in United States v. Windsor, and then again in the 2015 decision that guaranteed same-sex marriage as a right protected by the Constitution in Obergefell v. Hodges.

In 2004, when Mr. Buttigieg’s class graduated, public opinion polls showed that roughly one-third of Americans favored allowing same-sex couples to marry. A decade later it was more than half the country and rising.

Many closeted people found their plight more difficult during the early years of social and legal change, as they wrestled with whether to finally open up after years of trying to maintain an impression of themselves that was false.

Mr. Paley, who was Mr. Buttigieg’s college classmate, remembers sitting in his dorm room in 2003 as a closeted junior and crying as he read Justice Anthony M. Kennedy’s opinion in the landmark case Lawrence v. Texas, which struck down bans on intimacy between homosexuals on grounds that such laws were an affront to their dignity. “That helped me realize I can’t live my life this way,” he said of hiding his sexual orientation. It took Mr. Paley until the end of his senior year to fully come out, and he now serves as chief executive of the Trevor Project, an organization that works to advance the rights of L.G.B.T.Q. youth.

Mr. Pappas, the congressman from New Hampshire, ran his first race for state legislature in 2002 as an openly gay candidate and won. “It’s an important facet of who I am,” he said. “And I think over time I realized how powerful it was that I share that with more and more people.”

He said he ran as an out candidate in that first race because he saw no point in turning back after he came out in college. And after hearing from people who told him how encouraging it was to see him as an openly gay man in politics, Mr. Pappas realized he had made the right choice regardless of the political implications. “I don’t think I fully appreciated that at first,” he said.

Being Gay Is ‘Not the Only Part’

After he graduated, Mr. Buttigieg went to work for John Kerry’s presidential campaign in Arizona and quickly immersed himself in the job. Mara Lee, who worked with him at the time and remains a friend, remembered meeting her co-worker for the first time: “Here’s this guy who’s doing a million things at once. He has seven or eight TVs on to monitor the local and national news. He’s introducing himself to me — being genuine — and having a conversation while typing.” She remembers two computer screens on his desk.

Once he came out, she said that being gay was never the first thing he wanted people to see when they met him — a veteran, Rhodes scholar, polyglot who was first elected mayor of South Bend when he was 29. “While it’s an important part of who he is, it’s not the only part,” she said.

When he first ran for mayor in 2011 and won, he was closeted. A local gay rights group did not initially endorse him in that race, opting instead for a candidate with a more established track record on the issues. Mr. Buttigieg endured some awkward moments, like signing a city law banning discrimination based on sexual orientation in 2012. To not think about how the law directly affected him, he acknowledged, “took a little compartmentalization.”

His employees and constituents saw an eligible bachelor in their young mayor and wanted to set him up with their daughters. Some on his staff even joked about his old light green Ford Taurus as a “chick magnet.” He did not bother to correct them.

When he did come out in the summer of 2015, the forum he chose was an op-ed for The South Bend Tribune. “It took years of struggle and growth for me to recognize that it’s just a fact of life, like having brown hair, and part of who I am,” he wrote.

He may have waited far longer than most young gay men today. But ever the overachiever, he made record time in setting a new bar. In less than four years he went from being single and closeted to being married and out as a gay candidate for president.

Thanks, r20!

Like Hillary, he's a trailblazer. Future LGBTQ candidates will run with no big whoop.

I truly believe that Pete's story is quite typical for many gay men. I applaud and in many ways envy all of those who had an easy time being gay and out and proud growing up and in their teens and twenties, but I just don't think that was the reality for many of us. I came of age in the late 80s/early 90s when HIV scared you to death. But not only that, I grew up hearing the jokes about gay men from within my family and friends at school. You didn't get positive images on TV. Mr. Furley was calling Jack Tripper a tinkerbell.

I came out when I was 26. I was closeted throughout college and the first half of my 20s. After college, I got a job at a conservative company and was afraid that being gay was going to slow down my career goals, so I was closeted at work.

Navigating the world is can be one big minefield after the next when you are in the closet. So you start to compartmentalize your life. Then one day you wake up and realize that it's all a bunch of bullshit, that you can't keep living multiple lives and lying to friends and family and yourself. So you start opening the closet door and telling people who you are. And in many cases they already knew or suspected.

I think the mistake that so many of us make is that we all think there is just one way to be gay because that is what's been drilled into our heads. So those of us who don't fall into certain categories end up feeling like we don't have a place. But it's not until you are out and actually get into the community that you realize that there is a place for everybody.

Pete's story really resonated with me. No other political candidate has ever made me feel like that, not even Obama who I thought was an amazing candidate and president.

I wonder if he's bi, and just thought it would be easier- strangely enough- to identify as gay?

He just looks so weasely. Reminds me of Romney.

[quote] if he wasn't gay, would he really be getting this much attention?

No.

What the fuck are you doing in the closet at HARVARD in the aughts? And massive self loather going into the army. This raises huge red flags for me. He has major issues, that’s a fact, and he can try to cover it up with marriage and whatnot, but he’s a mess, period. And he’s not going to be the candidate.

I have compassion for his story. I am older than Pete. I had to flee my home state and move to the coast to be gay. I do believe being gay limited my professional prospects. For a man of his ambition, his coming out had to be carefully timed.

Coming out, schmoming out. Did he HAVE to make nice with Shit-Fil-A?

Srsly, being a closet case at HARVARD in 2004 shows a complete lack of bravery.

He’s going to have to work a helluva lot harder for the BOQA vote, especially now that he’s offering reparations for African Americans in his Douglass Plan. A generous allowance to subsidize rent boys would be most welcome. He could call it the Dude Ass Plan.

If it were 2004, Pete would be a married Republican with a wife and kids, and otherwise exactly the same.

Can’t believe how many gay people are rallying around a conservative church goer and war monger.

I went to Harvard in the 1990s. There were tons of gay people there, openly gay students, professors, activists. Cambridge is about as liberal and accepting a place as you will find an United States. I have no idea why Buttigieg didn’t come out sooner, but to claim that he was in an unwelcoming environment is ridiculous.

Everything you need to know about Pete Buttigeig is the fact that right after coming out, instead of dating around and finding himself and fucking around like a normal person, he rushed into marriage with a gigantic doormat.

R40 Cynical but possibly correct.

I’m 15 full years older than Pete and I find it laughable that he cowered in the closet at Harvard, in Boston, MA, in the Aughts. I was out 30 years ago at a rural state college you never heard of.

R40’s point is also worth pondering. Have you ever known a gay guy like Pete, practically (or actually) virginal until coming out late in life, and then settles for the first monogamy-minded guy he finds? Because I’ve known several, and have heard of many more from other gay folks, and it never ends well. Add militarism and “faith” to that and, well, I’d say stand back and take cover, not “Let’s elect this man President!”

Chasten Buttigeig is the Checkers of the 21st century.

Young guys who still stay closeted and then COME OUT are always the ones who get gay married IMMEDIATELY. Generally they aren't overly gracious about those who've been out and proud since middle school.

I never trust them. Never.

If you all hate Buttigieg, and intelligent, viable candidate so much, who are you going to vote for? Donald Trump? Jesus fucking Christ, you punish him for not being GAY ENOUGH? What the fuck do you want? Trump for four MORE years? Whats wrong with you?

[quote]If you all hate Buttigieg, and intelligent, viable candidate so much, who are you going to vote for?

Any one of the nearly twenty other better experience individuals running for the nomination.

Butt Pettigeig.

This is why they hate us. If a guy doesn't come out of the closet in exactly the timeframe we want, or gets married to soon thereafter, or god forbid goes to church, he is never to be trusted.

Each life is lived differently. Pete's has his own trajectory. It is clear and it is his. We haven't seen any harm he has done along the way. That's why he comes across as genuine and good. How many politicians can we say that about?

He has Frida Kahlo's eyebrows.

But seriously, I don't vote for someone based on their sexual orientation. I value experience and qualifications. Thousands of people speak several languages, thousands of people graduate from Ivy League colleges, thousands people volunteer for the military. It's quite a leap from being the mayor of a bum-fuck city in Indiana to being POTUS.

Hear, hear!

He's like if the Bank of America Pride Parade float came to life.

R52 wins the thread.

🤔🤔🤔

Do any of you fucks realize that Donald Trump could VERY EASILY be elected again? He's had 22 rape/assault charges against him, and no consequences. He's been repeatedly and unapologetically racist, and no consequences. He's openly conspired with foreign adversaries before his election and afterwards, with no consequences. He has successfully used hate speech to inspire legions of supporters, who will turn out en masse and vote for him. He's befriended despots and infected Europe with Neo-Nazisim. He's packed his administration and the courts with hard core conservatives and far right scum, and is close to taking away a women's right to choose. How long before they go after gay marriage? Our rights and civil rights are under attack like never before. And all we do is bitch about Mayor Pete. Wake up, assholes.

I wouldn’t date him, but I’d vote for him.

R45 is too fucking stupid to understand primaries. Who are we going to vote for besides Milquetoast Bootlicker? One of the 22 other Democratic candidates running! TRUMP IS NOT RUNNING IN THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY, DIPSHIT.

[quote] What the fuck do you want? Trump for four MORE years? Whats wrong with you?

🙄 Seriously? This is your argument in favor of Pete? Support him unquestionably or we get four more years of tRump? That's not how this works. During the primaries we debate who we want among the 20+ candidates who are running. That means legitimate critiques involving their potential strong and weak points. I have no intention of participating in any aspect of stifling that discussion or putting Pete beyond the reach of talking about his candidacy regarding possible challenges. Sorry, but this is not the point where we "fall in line." Yes, we will have to do that once we've selected a nominee -- but not before that.

I have some serious reservations about how well Pete would do as president, considering that the task for the next occupant of the White House is going to be enormous. Nevertheless, if he is the nominee -- which I do not think is going to happen -- I'll gladly and enthusiastically support him because our sole objective is to get rid of the Orange Vileness.

There is a higher standard that should be applied to someone who is running for President.

He’s a cowardly careerist. Many of his gay peers and those of us who came before showed courage and fought hard and sacrificed and surely risked adverse effects to our careers so that we could advance towards equal rights.

Read the article and see what he thought about the battle for equal marriage that was literally taking place in his backyard while he was at Harvard.

It’s laughable that Harvard was not a welcoming place for gays in the early aughts. He CHOSE not to join the fight.

That’s not courage and that’s not leadership.

So gay men are shit. Good lesson. Let's vote for one of the other douche bags instead of the one openly gay one. Progress.

I can’t even take R55 seriously. “If we don’t all support Mayor Pete, we’ll get four more years of Trump!!!” Really? Is someone really this stupid? 2 dozen people are running for the Democratic nomination, but if we don’t all support the guy perennially in 4th place in every poll, Trump wins???

If only Pete were to suck dick at all his debates, then I'd support him.

R59 - you're ridiculous. He struggled with his orientation - who knows what his family thought of gays? He was from South Bend, Indiana - and he had a lot of goals.

I can tell you that the world is a completely different place from 15 years. I was out at Columbia in the late 80's and even in liberal NYC, I knew that there could be some severe career limitations. Campus wasn't this extremely safe environment either - not everyone was accepting - far from it.

I worked at a Big 5 consulting firm - there was 1 out partner and 1 manager out of hundreds that I knew.

If I mentioned I was gay or was open about it, it would have been a career-limiting move and they would not have wanted me to be in front of clients. A lot of that still exists today in many industries.

In my current workplace, I know I cannot talk about my personal life without having some unspoken negative consequences. The conservatives and trump-lovers of this world do not accept gays and will quietly limit your path or push you out of the organization.

You equate him to being a closeted, married to a woman Republican. He came out later in life - big fucking deal. He accomplished a lot - and even more than he would have if he'd been out earlier. He has said so himself.

I respect him because I know how many gay men have had to make this choice between career and financial success and being open about your life. There is no comparison to today's environment - it has changed that quickly.

I would only respect Pete if he came out in kindergarten.

Buttigieg wasn't even out as a fetus! He just laid there the whole time, hiding who he is in his mother's womb. What a piece of trash. Vote Republican!

R58 is only gaslighting. Why are you people engaging them?

I agree R63, but this is DL where the old battle between those who are too gay to ever seriously consider not being out and everyone else continues unabated. 3-2-1 before they start claiming that Pete sings show tunes in the shower, lisps and prances when he's alone with Chasten and secretly wants to wear Kamala Harris's clothes.

[quote] I went to Harvard in the 1990s. There were tons of gay people there, openly gay students, professors, activists. Cambridge is about as liberal and accepting a place as you will find an United States. I have no idea why Buttigieg didn’t come out sooner, but to claim that he was in an unwelcoming environment is ridiculous.

FUCKING EXACTLY. I have several friends from there from that period and they all laugh at how ridiculous his assumptions about gay life were there. The Times has to look long and hard for students that wouldn’t criticize his cowardice.

I cannot with that Rich Juzwiak "take" in Jezebel, defending Dale Peck. Though I love knowing that he thought the world would open up to him when he left his husband and became the biggest slut ever... only to turn into a failed hack writer who constantly recycles his sleazy articles and whom just about everyone on Jezebel hates. And to think I used to enjoy his pieces back when he was still a well-adjusted homo.

r68 People - especially those who grew up in rural places - experience their coming out differently, even when at Harvard. Get the fuck over it.

R42 is dead right.

Do we have to spell it out for you all?

Because Pete took a look at all the out gays he was surrounded with at Harvard in the 90s and saw a bunch of Boys In The Band stereotypes/Boston versions of Chelsea Gym Queens who were into The Gay Scene and thought "fuck, I have nothing in common with these people beyond an interest in sucking dick," and ducked right back into the closet.

Why is it so hard to understand that until recently the gay world was just as unwelcoming to guys like Pete as the straight world was to many of you.

Interesting how many vehement critics of Pete there are here, on a gay forum.

R42 and R59 are both right. Pete is disingenuous and more of a coward than a hero. Uncomfortable with who he is and a nutty christian "patriot" at that. May he and Chasten be blessed with many babies.

Because Pete is exactly the type of homosexual many of them despise R73.

Remember who the majority of posters are on here-- older, extremely effeminate men who fuss about fraus and potato salad recipes.

Sort of the anti-Buttigiegs

Cry me a river R70.

We are critical here because his cowardly handling of the closet at one of the most liberal places in America in one of the most liberal periods in history is a major character flaw.

R63, reread your screed and tell me who’s ridiculous. You can’t have it all ways.

His parents are/were ultra-liberals.

We have made progress because because courageous people have lived their lives OUT and PROUD. The more people come out the more progress we make. He didn’t lift a finger and now he wants to preen on the cover of Time?

You reduced shame; he bought into it. That’s not a quality I want in a President. This isn’t about Trump vs. Pete. There are plenty of other choices.

You came out 20 YEARS before Pete. It’s total bullshit to claim, as that article did, that HARVARD wasn’t safe enough. Think about all the courageous gaylings who have come from much less privileged backgrounds and fought the good fight. Think about it.

He’s built a pretty resume, arguably on the backs of gays with balls.

He scores ZERO points for leadership.

Even that fake deep voice was a calculation. Please.

Zero.

R75 is YourMillenialFriend who is obsessed with Buttigieg. He starts many threads on Pete. A bit of a nutty fangirl. I'm sure Pete has a potato salad recipe in his arsenal R75. He's still not invited to the cookout.

[quote] Even that fake deep voice was a calculation. Please.

[bold] I so called this at R67!! [/bold]

SCORE!!!

Has ANYONE walked in me

He reminds me of Obama.

Meaning if he became president his favorite word would be: bipartisanship. He seems like he’s more upset about someone calling Trump a motherfucker than about how evil deplorables are.

Also, only people I see pushing him on my social media are old gays who just wanna see a gay president before they die (ala old white woman who pushed Clinton for that same reason).

They younger gays (below 40) that I know are all for Warren.

Some of you sound like the black people who trash other black people because in their minds they are not "black" enough or they are "trying to be white" based on some arbitrary nonsense. No one is trying to tell you to vote for Pete. It's your vote, do with it whatever want. But whether he has a chance or not, why not be respectful and a little bit proud that an out gay man from some sleepy little flyover place has gotten this far in the race to be president. And he's doing it by being smart, and thoughtful and simply, himself. There are many gay people in the world and each one of us is different from the other. Your path was different, yay for you. But why trash Pete for the path he took and for the choices he's made.

R83= victim.

He’s not being trashed for being gay, he’s being trashed because he’s rather impress homophobes than be brave.

R83, speaking of black people...

How’s that working out for him?

[quote]He’s not being trashed for being gay

Yes he is. You don't like the way he is gay, because it doesn't meet your standards of how gay people should be.

R78 - he didn't build a resume on the backs of gays. He built it on his own. Who or what did he use on his path?

And you ran for President when exactly? Many people who are attracted to politics are extremely careful of what they do in their personal life.

He's not impressing homophobes - he just didn't let them derail him from where he wanted to go in life. And there are still many many many people in the corporate world who are still not out or even vocal about being gay. It doesn't make them shameful - it's pragmatic.

The list of companies that are 100% accepting of gays and allow them to pursue any path is still very few. It is the unspoken limitations you come against. There's a lawsuit right now at Goldman Sachs - they didn't want the gay guy to be client-facing. That's so common still to this day.

He'll be gayer when he starts working the panels on CNN. That's his real destiney. Pete would also make a good Jeopardy host.

Yeah, okay, something the article doesn't mention. Chasten, who's the opposite of a wallflower, has dropped in passing several times that Pete's actually an introvert who defaults to quiet mode when left to his own devices. I'm guessing he's put years' worth of time and effort into learning how to become outgoing, friendly, and personable on demand. (Americans like people who seem like awesome drinking buds, not lurkers in corners thinking deep political thoughts.) I can do Fake Extrovert myself for short periods, but it's exhausting. I dunno how he keeps it going for hours on end. I have a duckton of respect for that, even if no one else does.

I'm happy that South Bend has a gay mayor. But he's not the only Gay/Lesbian/Bi elected official to be proud of. Too bad Pete didn't want to A) Be Brave and B) Put in the work.

OP Leave the guy the fuck alone.

You can have no idea of all the reasons why he was closeted for so long. Some are self-evident, others you cannot know.

He seems like a decent guy-remember dissension in the ranks is something the repugs want so they get 4 more years.

Well if he’s pissing off this many gay people, along with all the black people (0% in all the polls) and of course all the homophobes, his prospects don’t look too good.

If everyone just agrees to vote for Elizabeth Warren, Trump will lose. And we'll get real change. Mayor Pete is a waste of money and political energy.

Yale in the 80s, the 80s!, was gay nirvana, except for the AIDS. There is NO FUCKING WAY anything about the Harvard campus of Pete's time being an obstacle. Sheesh. He was imprisoned in his MIND and in his fear he couldn't do politics as a gay guy. The latter is the only somewhat valid argument. 33 years old. Well, glad he finally came out.

r69 At least Rich is getting savaged in the comments but the Bernie Bros on twitter are loving it and using it to defend that nasty article by Peck.

Does Pete have a nice body? What about Chasten? Chasten does have a cute face.

R93 Let me guess...

It's that last name of his.

I have a theory about this whole “Pete in the Closet” brouhaha, and it boils down to the fact that our friend Pete has never defined himself by his sexuality. He’s intelligent, he’s driven, he’s a leader, he’s a musician, he’s a scholar, he’s an author, he’s a world traveler, he’s a great son, AND . . . he just happens to be gay. And being gay, in and of itself, is how many gays define themselves and achieve their identities.

I get the sense that sex and sexuality just isn’t high up on Pete’s list of the characteristics/traits by which he has determined who he is. He was probably too busy learning Swedish or playing Rhapsody in Blue or writing to give a whole lot of thought (or a shit) about proclaiming his sexual orientation to the world.

He might have been in the closet but somebody was pounding that sweet ass of his.

R99, have you ever read "The Best Little Boy in the World," by Andrew Tobias, the former Treasurer of the DNC? If not, you should. It advances a credible theory of sublimation by gay overachievers.

R101 - I read the book. While it strikes a lot of chords, there are just over-achieving people. Both his parents were university professors. He was raised in an intellectual and literary household. His Dad went to Oxford. He could also just have had a lot of intellectual interests and pursuits.

Being successful isn't always about being the best so they don't hate you because you're gay. Sometimes you're just smart and you want to succeed. Now, some may say gay men may become smarter because they have to view the world in so many different ways and question so many things they've been taught. It may make you more curious about the world to get answers and you end up reading and researching more.

I will say there's something to that process that can increase your intelligence and world view.

R87, you can see that if everyone chose to be “pragmatic”, we wouldn’t get anywhere, right?

I love Pete. I love his mind. I love his empathy. I love that he lives not in the pop culture gutter like so many but on a higher intellectual plain. Deride him for not coming out if you like, but he is brave, he is brilliant, and he's definitely getting my vote in the primary.

R103 - there were and always has been a small political gay voice. The vast majority of gays and lesbians had an impact on society by coming out to friends and family. Not by marching in the streets.

And the media can have a bigger impact than any single gay rights activist. He was pragmatic for most of his life - then came out. Now he's running for President.

I don't know what you want from this guy. If you don't think his visibility as being the first serious gay candidate for the highest office in the nation will not inspire other gay and lesbian people and will not change the minds of other bigots, then I don't know what will make you happy.

His candidacy is doing more for gay rights and visibility than anything you can do. But he should be burned at the stake because he didn't come out of the closet at Harvard. Ok.

[quote] And for those asking if he weren't gay, would he be getting that much attention? A gay man (Karger?) ran in 2016 for the Republican nomination. Did anyone even hear a word about him?

R12 Fred Karger ran for President in 2012 not 2016, I know because I voted for him in the primary, the reasons he didn't get much press was, well it was a Republican Primary, and they are less likely to elect a gay man than the Democrats, marriage equality hadn't come yet, and Karger was only on the ballot in six states. Even if he won every state he was on the ballot in he still wouldn't have won the nomination. It was not taken as a serious run for President.

If we're putting the entire closet on trial, well, there are more than a few politicians who are going to be justifiably nervous, most of them Republican. But if this is the year we throw open ALL the closet doors in Washington, DC, well so be it.

[quote] the Bernie Bros on twitter

And we know how much effect they have on other voters

[quote]Because Pete is exactly the type of homosexual many of them despise [R73].

Damn right. "Christian," "patriot," raging assimilationist, closeted-til-the-last-minute, somewhere to the right of Reagan? He can fuck right off and so can you.

R109 basically introduces himself as "John Jones, homosexual. Nice to meet you."

Coming out at 33 means that until 33 he was lying to everyone he met about who he really is. It also means that he lied to the military who he now asks to command. We already have a president who lies. I don't want another one.

Buttigieg came out the exact month that the Obergefell decision was handed down by the Supreme Court. The marriage equality work was done and he hid from it the entire time the fight was being waged. People in many states live with out anti-discrimination protection in employment and in housing. Buttigieg worked on John Kerry's campaign. I suspect he was not a passionate advocate within that campaign for the rights of lesbians and gays. And we all could have used one.

This guy is not a leader, folks. His choices have all been about his own self-advancement. And when it serves him, he lies.

To the right of Reagan? Go home, Bernie Bro. You're drunk.

At the time Pete served, gays weren’t allowed to serve openly in the military. So they were all “lying,” if not telling is “lying.”.

I guess what you’re really saying is no gays should have served before Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed.

No, R113. What I was really saying is what I wrote. Not the reinterpretation you pulled out of your ass.

He's running to be the President of the United States. We should look very carefully at his record. In this regard, his record stinks.

R110 believes daddy will finally love him if he can just prove that he's good and not like those dirty faggots.

R114 - but you're not looking at his record on gay rights or what he has done. You're just throwing out an attack because he didn't come out earlier in his life. Attack his record - but you're not doing that are you?

You're awfully brave behind your computer. If you don't think he shows guts and bravery to run as a married openly gay man for President - during the time of Trump, and that he was brave to go to Afghanistan and drive trucks in Kabul - then I need to reconsider.

Apparently, bravery is to walk down gay pride with your ass cheeks hanging out. Thank you for correcting us. He truly is a coward.

r114 Honey, if he carefully planned to run for president at 33, then he would have stayed in closet for 5 more years. If someone can stay in a closet for 33 years, 5 more years isn't a big deal. He would have married a black girl to create a perfect image. But rationality isn't your suit, is it ? Dumbfuck

I question why I should vote for him because we are both gay? That's like saying "I'm voting for Biden because we are both white" or "I'm voting for Harris because we are both women." Wrong-headed rationale. You should vote for who has the best chance of defeating Trump.

R117 - much more than yours. I don't think anyone can make sense of what you just wrote.

You're attacking him based on a single item - that we wasn't completely out to the whole world at a younger age. You're an infant.

He is not "somewhere to the right of Reagan" you goddam cunt. Stop making shit up.

The gays don’t like him.

NEXT

Yes The Gays don't like him because he's intelligent, level headed, in a committed relationship, and one of the few gay men on the horizon with an actual chance to make a difference in the lives of gay men in the United States. HE is shit. The Gays would love him if he were on a reality show, posting shirtless shots and humblebragging about his hot "friends". Are they fucking? Are they not? Instawhore Gays, The Future Of This Country. God Bless America (but only if God is a hot daddy, who posts instawhore shots taken from the side so you can't see his dick but gives a nice outline of dat ass)!

The only gays who don't like him are vapid, sewer-dwelling queens like Dale Peck.

NEXT.

[quote]Why is it so hard to understand that until recently the gay world was just as unwelcoming to guys like Pete as the straight world was to many of you.

Why is it so hard to understand that you are a complete self-loathing, gay hating dipshit who completely invents new reasons to be a weirdo? I'm sure the reason gays are unwelcoming to you is your visible nuttiness.

R94,

Maybe he wasn’t 100% sure of his sexuality during college and if he ever married a woman, he didn’t want his gay past being used against him in politics.

He seems like a smart, reasonable guy. I just wish he would mention something he would do for gays. There’s at least as much inequality in healthcare for gays as for blacks, yet he came up with the Douglas plan and crickets for the gays.

If he gets the nomination expect his fan base to throw constant non stop tantrums. His fans are acting like the Trump machine will play fair with him if the “bad” gays stop being so mean.

Yeah, the man who spent his whole life being ashamed of himself and constantly trying to impress white homophobes in order to make more money is def the guy who will go tough on Trump.

I’ll support him once he stops acting like the best little boy on earth, and actually shows he has what it takes to stand up to Trump.

I don’t like Kamala Harris but the one thing I do like about her is that she doesn’t seem afraid of the opinions of conservative white men who hate her.

Anyway, Buttigieg is very much like Obama. Inspirational but nothing more than a complete coward desperate to kiss white conservative rich ass.

If he wins then expect white liberals to go back to ignoring racism and inequality. The old school dems think Trump invented those things and with him gone, racism will go too.

Also, I’ve noticed those who support him the most tend to be old gays. The new generation of queers doesn’t seem to like him. Granted those queers are probably less likely to vote as usual...

Wait, wait, wait. Old gays versus young queers? Listen, sonny. First, get off my lawn. And second, be clear that this old queer was identifying as queer years and years and years ago. Lots of us were. It's not a new identity, the exclusive province of the young. That's a false dichotomy you set up. The friction between the gays and the queers is long standing.

And finally, this old queer has no use for Pete Buttigieg. He is far too impressed with himself. Everything about him is calculated to produce for him the maximum return. As there are far more straight people for him to suck up to than the gay community could ever match, I don't see much from him for the homos. As long as he continues his public appearances wearing Jim Jordan's uniform, we can all see where his loyalties lie. I would be more forgiving if he was better at it, but he's not. Big intellect, but he seems to be a shallow man.

[quote]Also, I’ve noticed those who support him the most tend to be old gays. The new generation of queers doesn’t seem to like him. Granted those queers are probably less likely to vote as usual...

It's white gay men over 40. Every Democratic primary, the white gay men over 40 find a centrist/corporatist Democrat to rally around. 2008 - Hillary Clinton. 2016 - Hillary Clinton. 2020 - Butt Pettigeig.

Not one mention of his parents or family in any of this. Does he talk about them in his book?

No matter how much you stomp your little feet, R129, Bernie will not be the nominee. It won't be Buttigieg either, but I'm happy that it won't be that useless, old man who has been all talk for the last 50 years with 0 accomplishments under his belt.

He does, R18. What do you want to know? Sounds like they were ultra-liberal Notre Dame professors with a great relationship with their son. His dad recently died. He has no siblings.

"I just couldn't get it done..."

If his parents were really liberals they must have been horrified that their son joined the army.

Yes, r133, he was honest about one failing. Otherwise, he pretty much turned his city around. What has Bernie done in his 300 years in Congress? Hmm...let's see. Oh, nothing. Of course, he'd never be man enough to admit that.

Ooopsie!!!

Excellent post R128. You sized up puffed up Pete very well. And thanks for your service old queer. I love you. I am neither young nor old. Which means I'm getting older too. I'm voting the Dem that gets there. It won't be Pete. And that won't be because he's gay. Who could tell?

how strange, he doesn't seem like any of those things to me

He may have thought he was in the closet but the other 8 BILLION people on Earth knew he was a homosexual anyway.

R132 A lot of his behavior could be explained if they were assholes to him.

Barack Obama was to the right of Reagan, you pea-brained idiots. The entire political spectrum is fucked in this country because Republicans have forced Democrats to lurch to the right along with them; Republicans are far right, Dems center-right, AOC/Bernie/Warren are left of center MODERATES. If they were actually far-right, they'd be demanding the violent redistribution of wealth from the wealthy to the poor. Instead they're fighting for basic healthcare and public education, things Eurotean countries have been offering for decades, to the great benefit of their citizens. Meanwhile, here we have people dying from lack of coverage, generation drowning in student and healthcare debt, and a system that favors private corporations and wealth over the poor and middle working class

Reagan wouldn't get elected by the GOP today, they'd call him a RINO. He was pro-immigrant. Barack Obama detained immigrants and never spoke of it or them. And Pete, with his patriot-militarism, deep (and deeply conventional) Christian faith, and craven assimilationism, is a DINO for the ages. He'd be a closeted homophobic Republican 20 years ago; he bears every resemblance to one when you strip his sexuality and party affiliation away. He'd get us into more wars and do nothing to counter wealth inequality. He doesn't even support Medicare for All. And I should support him why? Because we're both gay? His politics reflect none of our shared struggle; he thinks we should bury the hatchet and support Chik-Fil-A! He says nothing of what they actually due (cause suicides for gay and trans kids) and excuses it all while admonishing gays for not playing nice and eating the fried chicken our enemies profit from. No, thank you. I'll support candidate that fight for our people, not sell us out to score respectability points with fascists.

I think he didn't come out earlier because he believed that he couldn't do what he wanted to do (politics, military) while being out. He has said as much. Obviously, once he realized that he's destroying his own mental well-being, he came out anyway.

R137 congratulated themselves for their post at R128

FOOL!

Some of you weasels have no loyalty. Gays made leaps and bounds during Obama's administration and now he is nothing more than a to the right of Reagan corporatist. You Jill Stein/Bernie types just don't see the world for how it really is, do you?

R141 = famed leftist drag queen Karla Marx

I'll vote for the black mermaid. She'll cut a bitch.

I am not R128. Nor do I congratulate myself. Why are you so threatened R143? Fool. You 60 year old millenials sure do get worked up over the lil military mayor. Have you never been proud to be yourself?

On a strictly personal level, I like seeing a gay man in the national spotlight who's just a regular dork. He's not a "yasss qweennn" finger-snapping stereotype that we are inundated with in our media culture. Millions of gay men are more like Pete than Project Runway and it's great to see that.

R146 Black little mermaids threw the first bricks at Stonewall.

If only Pete were a black woman, you know, more like James bond, I'd vote for her.

this thread is bullshit

R145's drag name is Eva Brawny. Fuck off, cunt.

The profile is bad. Like he has no chin.

Did he have pussy sex?

He will NEVER win. Not because he is gay (although, it does not help..unfortunately). But, he is extremely boring and too cut out. Most of these people are running only to fatten their bank account. He is one of them.

He’s not boring, he’s actually super good at sound bites, al m too good. He’s clearly got a good head on his shoulders

He will never win because he's a perennial 4th/5th place in every poll, he's a 37 year old mayor of a small city most know little about and few believe could prepare one for the presidency, he has no real policy positions and certainly no interesting proposals, and his base of support is basically that slice of the gay community that either still adheres to centrism but dislikes every other centrist running, or is otherwise apolitical, but shallow and identity driven.

You were possibly correct until you tipped your hand at “no real policy. . . Etc”. He’s got plenty of policies and positions, you just aren’t interested

Most of us who like him aren’t centrists but like his rhetoric and clearly thinking way of speaking. I suppose that might hold no appeal to some. . .

Abolishing the EC, legalising marijuana, the only one suggesting packing the Supreme Court... but he's a centrist. Okay, sure, let's go with that narrative.

I know, people are stupid

Give me Warren or Sanders...most likely, taking a page from the Republican Handbook, I will vote for whoever is nominated, but Pete doesn’t really stand a chance. Besides, childfree candidates aren’t popular with American voters.

Who was the last childfree president we had?

No one gives a fuck that he's childfree. He's only 37, and if Chasten has anything to say about it, they will have kids. Kamala is also childfree; the adult children are her husband's.

In some cultures, 37 year-olds are almost grandparents.

Thankfully, not this culture, R164.

In some cultures, 37 years is the average lifespan.

If by "this culture" you mean American culture, you are wrong. Lots of Americans popping out babies at young ages.

[quote]In some cultures, 37 year-olds are almost grandparents.

R167 I agree. I know of several people who became grandparents in their mid to late 30s. A cousin of mine became a grandfather at 36 a few months ago. He was 19 when his daughter was born and the daughter just turned 17 before having a baby.

Kamala has no kids of her own? What will the frauen say?

I’m sorry that you’re perpetually surrounded by rednecks, hicks and poors R168.

37 year old grandparents are not unusual in HIS culture. He's from Indiana.

37 year old grandparents are not unusual in HIS culture. He's from Indiana.

He’s smarter than the others

Smarter than the other what, R173?

[quote] He’s smarter than the others

Well, he certainly thinks so. He carries with him a slight air of condescension, which is somewhat off-putting.

He always conveys that he is slowing it all down so you can get it.

He does not, R175. Others always say he's smarter than the others. When asked, he's always said that he's flattered but that people are overestimating his intellect. I still think he' s smarter than the others.

Come on, his lofty, deliberate, baritone delivery is all about projecting gravitas.

It’s condescending.

1. Let's be real: poor people becoming grandparents before they hit 40 is not all that unusual. Poor people of all races. In the upper middle class, 37 year olds are often having their first or second child, it's rare, especially on the Coasts for them to have children before they hit 30. (Not sure what the situation is in Flyoverstan.) But it's just one more thing that creates the Great Class Divide. And I'm sure Deplorables, at least some of them, pick up on the freaked out looks the SVPs back in NY or SF give them when they mention that they are 32 and have kids in high school.

2. How does the reporter know that Pete "deepened his voice.?" I found that to be pretty homophobic in that it assumes that all gay men have gay voice and high pitched gay voice at that. WTF?

On TV you have to deliver sound bites. Rather than being condescending, he's just trying to make his point effectively.

He didn't deepen his voice, r179. He has always sounded the same. Pretty much everyone from his childhood and college years who's been interviewed about him said he's the same exact person he was. And here he is asking Ted Kennedy a question when he (Pete) was at Harvard in 2003. Same voice.

Thanks R181

And yet the callout from the article, as per OP, specifically says "deepened his voice"

Which again implies that when Pete is home alone with Chasten, he turns into Richard Simmons.

Whether his fangirls like it or not, he comes across as the epitome of a smug prick to the rest of us. It’s one of the most common criticisms of him that I hear. He talks down to people.

So those of us who are gay and have deep voices are somehow putting on act?

They're full of shit, R182. By the way, that was one callout in the article not backed up by anything or anyone. They didn't elaborate ,which is unlike the NY Times. This isn't a TMZ post. The entire article was a hit piece by the NYT (Warren super-fans) to call Pete out for being closeted until he was 33.

Why not call him out for staying closeted until 33? It goes to directly to his character.

I am not saying it is a sign of bad character, nor am I saying it is a credit to his character. That is not my point here. But it is a fact and many may legitimately find it a fact that illuminates what sort of man this is. It is fair to use it.

Why not call him out for staying closeted until 33? It goes to directly to his character.

I am not saying it is a sign of bad character, nor am I saying it is a credit to his character. That is not my point here. But it is a fact and many may legitimately find it a fact that illuminates what sort of man this is. It is fair to use it.

He comes off as a smug prick because he really does think he’s better than everyone.

Wouldn’t be surprised if the the deep voice is an affectation he developed in middle school to keep people from thinking he was gay. It just doesn’t seem to fit. But a deliberate calculation does fit the pattern.

The anger some of you have about this man is rather puzzling and strange.

FFS many, many gay men have naturally deep, masculine "normal" voices. Who are you people?

By now you guys should know many of these posters are not even gay men.

[quote] Whether his fangirls like it or not, he comes across as the epitome of a smug prick to the rest of us.

Maybe he comes across as smug to stupid, insecure people like R183.

Gay men are men. Many have deep voices. Testosterone can have that effect on the larynx.

I fucking wish this site could be gay men only.

LOL @ R193 if he is thinking that gay men would not challenge Buttigieg.

Any gay man with some self-respect could challenge his decision to misrepresent himself as straight for 15 years or so.

Yeah, the notion that no gay men are critical of Pete is amusing — and inaccurate. Plenty of gay men are skeptical that Pete is the best person running on the Democratic side. Unquestionably he is better than tRump, and if he’s the nominee (doubtful) I will enthusiastically vote for him. But in this phase of the nomination process I have my doubts as to how well he will do.

[quote]if he is thinking that gay men would not challenge Buttigieg.

DL gays certainly would, but the problem is that not everyone complaining in this thread is a gay man.

His heavy-handed religiosity is a major problem too. Gets tiresome hearing him quote from “scripture.”

Definitely not for Buttigeg, I don't care if we share the similarities of liking men. That being said I do think he is useful. He is clashing with the QT contingent so the result is a win-win for me.

What R197 said. I also don’t care for the fact that he’s military. Honestly, he’d be a Republican 20 years ago and no one here would consider voting for him, but because he gay and we’ve moved so far right that Democrats are center-right, well, here we are.

Fuck Pete and fuck his stupid fangirls.

Where are all these fake 'smugness' and 'condescending' comments coming from? If anything, during his open mike questions from the audience or in interviews, he appears more earnest and humble than any other candidate. Is someone trying to spread 'Fake News' to leave a bad impression on people who aren't watching the news?

[quote] ...he appears more earnest and humble than any other candidate....

And it does not occur to you that his presentation is a choice, a choice calculated by an ambitious politician?

An earnest and humble ambitious politician. Really?

R200 can’t distinguish fact from opinion. He actually thinks an opinion that differs from his own is “fake news.” This is the level of stupidity we’re dealing with.

I believe 'Fake News' is the calling card of a certain Orange Cretin...

I'm an older gay man who never thought I would witness a gay man running a serious campaign for president. I disagree with Pete on almost everything but am sending him money just because he's gay and in the unlikely chance that he is the candidate I will vote for him. Is it deeply internalized homophobia that's generating this criticism which seems out of proportion?

Why would you even think that? No, really. Why? It seems a million miles off base to me.

I sense something more like resentment from a lot of people who were honest, lived their truth, didn't lie to others about who they are, took the lumps that came with preserving their integrity, and don't quote scripture every time there is a camera in the room.

Because, R205, in my day we, most of us, were more tolerant of letting each of us find his own way, knowing how difficult it could be. Are you young? There are surveys showing the young today have much less ability to feel empathy combined with an increased support for social justice. Which would explain your attitude.

Pete hate coming from someone who signs his posts "RIMuscle" (Rhode Island Muscle?) just made my weekend.

And like every other successful gay, there will be DLers who hate him because to them, he is not the "right kind of gay"

That's fine, R206. But now that person who stayed closeted for a long time asks to be the most important leader this nation can choose. And his many years in the closet - at best - do not show him to be a leader.

Not at all young. I was out before Buttigieg was born.

His religiosity of the Anglican kind is rather intellectual. Not at all the same as Southern Baptist, etc.

^^ that's an important distinction. Anglican/Episcopalian is more civilized and intellectual. They're not common trash like Evangelicals.

Episcopalians are among the most GLBTQ accepting of Christian denominations. Those objecting to his religion are fanatics objecting to all Christiananity or all religions, not just the homophobic ones. Again, zero tolerance of others and zero empathy. It's a type of mental illness.

The religiosity, the military creepiness, the extended stay in the closet = big fucking mess. No. Period.

His religion isn’t bad, sorry if it offends you.

The military creepiness? What does that even mean?

Extended stay in the closet is something, but he’s out now

"Why doesn't everyone love my chosen candidate? WHY??? What is wrong with THEM??"

Fuck off, cunt

Military creepiness means exactly what it means, dipshit. So fuck off.

Eat shit, he’s not creepy, and you’re an internet troll

PrEP:

This poster has got to be a DLer:

Memes are stupid in this case

r128, I'd wager to guess that your description of Buttigieg probably applies more to you than to him. Your tirade is absolutely ridiculous.

No, fuck YOU r199.

r199 is an idiot

I know a lot of gay men who are hellbent on being the best little boy in the world who have to always be “on” and be smarter, wittier, more well travelled, sexually experienced than everyone else in the room. Like Pete, who is not unlike that lying knowitall character Kristen Wiig played on SNL.

Huh??

You bumped this thread up for that nonsense, R224?

I'm not real smart, you all, sorry for the writing problems