Tell Me A Secret

Hillary thought she'd win in a landslide

I was murdered

I'm a tranny.

Kris Holden Ried and I had sexual fun on the set of The Tudors.

Kris Holden Ried and I had sexual fun together on the set of The Tudors.

I like ladies.

Yes. I'm a full bulldyke, and smell worse than a dumpster.

I'll never give up bread, EVAAAAAAH!

I'm fucking depressed because I'm constantly pretending to like females. I can't pretend that Hailey's really a man anymore when she uses the strapon.

I'm actually an alien like Anna from V.

Gayle and I have routinely engaged in cunnilingus for over a decade, but Gaile could never commit to an actual relationship with me because of my bread fetish. I asked her to shove all the different foot long breads from Subway up my wide, nasty black snatch, but Gaile said that's a deal breaker for her.

Gayle and I have routinely engaged in cunnilingus for over a decade, but Gayle could never commit to an actual relationship with me because of my bread fetish. I asked her to shove all the different foot long breads from Subway up my wide, nasty black snatch, but Gayle said that's a deal breaker for her.

I can't sing

Ann Jillian really deserved the and / as credit, not me

Henna Rinse

I did it on purpose BOTH times

I have a substance abuse problem

I thought I was marrying Fred Allen, Oh well

Zayn Malik has a terrible eating disorder. He CHOOSES not to eat for days at a time. Bitch!

I'm not a redhead.

I don’t pay my employees well. They call me Pay Low.

I knew it wasn't true, but I stuck to my story anyway

I'm a huge asshole. (Not sure if this is a secret any longer, though.)

I was molested.

This is just a fat suit.

I never thought anyone would by my line of bullshit for a minute

I voted for Nixon too

George was the funny one

I deserved everything I got

I won't, mostly because I don't know what "fret none" is.

I lit the match

I LOVE PUSSIES. There are cat photos all over my homes.

I engineered the blackout, I could just not bear to go on.

My upper lips are more stuffed than my lower ones.

I got myself fat because I cried whenever I saw my dick

I don't even fucking like to read books.

Ivana was furious when she found out I was fucking Marla but didn't care at all that I had been fucking Ivanka since she was 8.

I'm not a very stable genius.

Dream the life you want to have. If you think positive and expect positive things, then that's what will happen for you.

I should have stuck with that TV gig.

I really can't pass for 20 years younger. In fact, sometimes people assume that I'm older than my true age.

I think Blue Ivy has a dogface but I'd never tell her that. I call her Blue's Clues when she isn't in the room.

Amal Clooney has fake pregnancy belly bumps for wedding ceremonies.

Meghan

Alfred Hitchcock was a dirty Bird who stalked me. I would often Tippi-toe around him.

I wrestle with germs.

I cheated and lied about it

I've been stalking an ex-friend since we stopped talking almost two years ago. I ended it because it was a toxic relationship but I am so attracted to him and can't get over it. I found new recent photos of him online today and he is so handsome that I spiraled and had to go to the bar after work to try to forget about it. I will probably masturbate to the photos later and hate myself for it.

Addict, drunk, chronic masturbator.

My Sheridan really wouldn't be appalled

You all have done a sucky job

R48 = Will Dineen.

Trump is a racist and pedophile

I was asked to leave

R52 Was he in that island?

That wasn’t chicken.

Look at it this way, that was 40 years ago, Fluffy would be long dead by now, if we hadn't already eaten him up r55

^^^ I am confused, was Fluffy a bunny or a dog?

I've got one for you, OP. When you're out I sneak into your house and stick your toothbrush up my ass.

r57 See link

The reason I hate trans women so much is because my sugar daddy left me for one.

Meredith, Elizabeth, Barbara and I all had a pool for how long Star’s marriage would last.

I’m having a hot steam-lationship at my Equinox with a a married hedge fund daddy. He’s a total dickwhore. He wants to rent a hotel room now so I can fuck him. Giddy-up, daddy!!!

I havent worked for 3 years but people think I still have a job. Im hoping I die by 65-70 because I don’t have a ton of money saved for retirement and I will have to sell my house so I can live on the proceeds. But I’m happier and more content than I have ever been in my life. I’m enjoying life immensely for the first time ever. Work makes me miserable.

I hate my fans