So I’ve always identified as a gay man. I’ve always been attracted to and had relationships with men. Over the last few months I’ve grew close to a female co worker of mine and I’m starting to like and feel a sexual attraction towards her. We were hanging out the other night and she’s always sitting on my lap when we watch movies etc but my dick randomly got hard for her and it confused me so much. I jumped up and excused myself hoping she didn’t notice but I think I’m starting to really like her more then a friend. I’m just so confused at the moment. Ive only ever been sexual with men before and this has really confused me. I honestly don’t know what to do or what’s going on any advice?
Confused about my sexuality advice please?
by Anonymous | reply 108 | July 23, 2019 4:15 PM |
Yes.
Learn to write English.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 9, 2019 11:43 PM |
R1 English isn’t my first language apologies
by Anonymous | reply 2 | July 9, 2019 11:44 PM |
Learn English, then come back.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 9, 2019 11:45 PM |
You should have fucked her. If she said no and you still did it, congrats, you're straight!
by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 9, 2019 11:45 PM |
You are bisexual, and don't belong here. Now fuck off! You are also retarded because you've only just discovered now this late in your life that you are bisexual, instead of always knowing. You are either a liar or just pathetically stupid. Either way, fuck off. Blocked.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 9, 2019 11:52 PM |
Who sits in a friend’s lap to watch a movie?
by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 9, 2019 11:53 PM |
R6: A retard with no boundaries does, or just the usual bisexual. OP is scum.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 9, 2019 11:55 PM |
Try kissing her...see if there's any magic.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 9, 2019 11:57 PM |
[quote]You are bisexual, and don't belong here.
What part of LGBTTQQIAAP don't you understand?
by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 10, 2019 12:00 AM |
R5 I’m 22 years old. She’s the only woman I’ve ever been sexually attracted to. I came here because I didn’t know where else to go or if anyone else would understand I didn’t think I would get that type of bad reaction when I was only asking for advice.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 10, 2019 12:00 AM |
[quote]I’m 22 years old. She’s the only woman I’ve ever been sexually attracted to
and she won't be the last by the sound of things.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 10, 2019 12:01 AM |
this has the faint scent of
by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 10, 2019 12:02 AM |
OP, don't worry about the ridiculous post above. That's just an obsessed moron who's been shitting all over quite a few threads of late. It has nothing to do with you.
Back on topic, sexuality is a spectrum, not an on/off switch. You may be 90% gay but that would still mean that there might be a few women out there who would be attractive to you. Don't waste your time worrying about that part of it. An attraction to one woman does not mean you're straight: it means you're attracted to one woman.
As for what to do about it, the best answer probably is, "nothing," since this would have the potential to really screw up your friendship. This could be just a temporary thing and that once you relax and back off a bit, things will go back to normal.
If you really are attracted and want to pursue it, then think about how she would feel. If you think she might reciprocate, then tell her, but be prepared to be rejected and be prepared to have it make your friendship get really weird or even lose it altogether.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 10, 2019 12:07 AM |
Why would you be concerned about how to classify yourself?
Just live life day to day.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 10, 2019 12:08 AM |
I think you should have sex with her and figure out if you're bisexual or this is a one off. I had 2 guys in college where we had affairs and i'm the only guy they did before or since. (Separately!) Either way, a nice adventure. Would it be so horrible if you are bi? Sheesh! I had 2 girlfriends in my bisexual years then I went gay and stayed that way.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 10, 2019 12:10 AM |
Sorry OP, getting boners around women and how to respond to it is ... not really my department.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 10, 2019 12:11 AM |
Life lesson: a penis gets hard. You’re at an age where your penis gets hard for all sorts of reasons and getting rubbed on by someone sitting on your lap is pretty common.
You need to start establishing boundaries. Non intimate friends shouldn’t be sitting on your lap because - obviously, it leads to sexually confusing situations.
So don’t put yourself in that situation.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 10, 2019 12:13 AM |
R13 Thank you for being kind and giving me your honest advice I really appreciate it. I’m just scared because I don’t want to lose her as a friend but at the same time I don’t know if I want to pursue her romantically I feel like I do. But you are right I’m just going to see how things go and see how it plays out and take it step by step.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 10, 2019 12:13 AM |
R14 is a "no labels" retard. Knowing your sexual orientation is a concern that needs be sorted out and known. Blocked.
R15 is a bisexual whore living as "gay" for now. Blocked.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 10, 2019 12:14 AM |
Whatever you do, don't write her a letter.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 10, 2019 12:15 AM |
You are Trans. Get on hormones and change your pronouns ASAP!
by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 10, 2019 12:17 AM |
One other point: if this is a co-worker that you routinely interact with, either on your team or on a team that you work closely with, that's even more reason to do nothing. Office romances often end up in nasty situations that are uncomfortable for everyone, not just the two people involved.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 10, 2019 12:17 AM |
Op, tell her how you are feeling and then if she is game - fuck her.
Do it, and report back.
She is not going to be your bff forever. When she gets into a serious relationship or married, it will be twice a year for drinks and that's it. The risk of losing this friendship is worth perhaps landing your soul mate or maybe just a disastrous failed attempt at sex between a gay man and his hag that I could enjoy reading here.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 10, 2019 12:19 AM |
OP, I’m almost a gold-star gay but not quite. Meaning, I haven’t had sex with a woman in close to forty years. (OK, I’m an antique human.) Anyway, the point I want to make is that there were times I got hard around women a long time ago but I didn’t really feel attraction to them deep down. Penises are weird sometimes.
If she’s not just a passing acquaintance but a genuine friend, I’d avoid trying to move this thing out of the friend zone. OTOH, if the sensation persists over time, you can reconsider.
One more thing, some people on DL are not happy unless they ridicule or insult someone at least once a day. Don’t pay them any attention. Don’t even bother commenting on them. Not worth your energy.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 10, 2019 12:21 AM |
Just remember, OP... 21 years of child support payments!!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 10, 2019 12:24 AM |
Thank you to all the people who were giving me genuine advice I really appreciate all of you
by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 10, 2019 12:25 AM |
R24 isn't worth the energy. Don't use gold star gay when you aren't grandpa. Simple. Blocked.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 10, 2019 12:27 AM |
Think about your sexuality and watch porn involving women to see if you are attracted to them. Fantasize about being in a relationship with a women and see if it’s something you can do?
How old are you and we’re you not attracted to any women before her?
by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 10, 2019 12:27 AM |
This. Never. Happened.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 10, 2019 12:28 AM |
She knows what she's doing by sitting on your lap. For this reason, I'd urge you to be careful. Maybe you are attracted to women too but this one seems like a bad idea because you work together.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | July 10, 2019 12:28 AM |
R27 you seem to be a very angry person to anyone who has ever had any sort of relationship with a woman before.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 10, 2019 12:28 AM |
R13 There's no such thing as 90% gay. OP is attracted to women, whether it's just one is irrelevant the fact that he is experiencing ATTRACTION to this woman is what makes him not gay/ no longer gay. Gay people do not have an exception if you were gay you would understand this.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 10, 2019 12:29 AM |
R28 I’m 22 and no I have never been attracted to a woman before her
by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 10, 2019 12:29 AM |
"I’m almost a gold-star gay but not quite" LMAO!!
by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 10, 2019 12:32 AM |
OP, the Australians call it Vag-I-Might. I hear it’s not very tasty...
by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 10, 2019 12:32 AM |
R32 he was trying to explain that sexuality isn’t just gay or straight and that it is possible for a man to be 90% into dudes and 10% into woman which would make him bisexual but more leaning towards men then women.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 10, 2019 12:33 AM |
This didn’t happen because not a single person in history would choose to sit on someone’s lap for an entire movie.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 10, 2019 12:35 AM |
R37 That’s what we have always done since we started hanging out. She says she’s more comfortable sitting in my lap and it’s never bothered me before until this happened
by Anonymous | reply 38 | July 10, 2019 12:37 AM |
R33 were you never close to a female before her?
Anyways think about your sexuality, see if being with a woman is feasible. Fantasize about women and watch porn with them to see if you are sexually attracted to them. With everything you said you seem to be bi. I would be wary in trying to pursue a relationship with her because she is a coworker and a friend and you’re still figuring yourself out.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | July 10, 2019 12:38 AM |
She’s trying to “turn” you. It’s every hag’s fantasy.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | July 10, 2019 12:41 AM |
OP you're 22. Having a warm body in your lap is going to stir something up. It seems unlikely that it "means" anything.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | July 10, 2019 12:42 AM |
Don't shit where you eat. DO NOT DATE OR FUCK COLLEAGUES. Also I never heard of a colleague sitting on someones lap in social but intimate situations.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | July 10, 2019 12:43 AM |
[quote]There's no such thing as 90% gay.
Okay, so you're a moron. Got it.
[quote]OP is attracted to women, whether it's just one is irrelevant the fact that he is experiencing ATTRACTION to this woman is what makes him not gay/ no longer gay. Gay people do not have an exception if you were gay you would understand this.
I rest my case. Thank you for sharing your ignorance so publicly.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 10, 2019 12:44 AM |
The real issue here is a lack of chairs!
by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 10, 2019 12:44 AM |
[quote] That’s what we have always done since we started hanging out. She says she’s more comfortable sitting in my lap
BULLSHIT.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 10, 2019 12:46 AM |
Does this chick have a dick?
by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 10, 2019 12:46 AM |
[quote]I’m 22 and no I have never been attracted to a woman before her
Do you have suicidal feelings due to this event?
by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 10, 2019 12:47 AM |
R46: Doesn't exist. Blocked.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 10, 2019 12:47 AM |
R45 She told me directly that she’s more comfortable sitting in my lap and I’m gay so I didn’t think I would have an issue or this would happen so why would I have minded?. She’s a very touchy feely outgoing person and has been since I met her.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | July 10, 2019 12:51 AM |
So the next time she wants to sit on your knee, tell her you threw your knee out jogging or something like that and that she'll have to find a seat next to you. That problem is easily to solve.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | July 10, 2019 12:52 AM |
I mean it's bullshit because she KNOWS what it means to sit in a guy's lap. She feigns innocence but of course she knows.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 10, 2019 12:52 AM |
R49 No. No one does this. Have you ever sat in someone’s lap before? It’s fine for a short car ride. Other than that it’s not tolerable.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 10, 2019 12:53 AM |
Well I won’t be letting her sit in my lap in the future if we just continue being friends as I wouldn’t want to have this embarrassing issue happen again. Regardless it’s embarrassing getting a hard on for your friend. I just hope she didn’t notice before I got up.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | July 10, 2019 12:56 AM |
[quote]I mean it's bullshit because she KNOWS what it means to sit in a guy's lap.
It's odd the way Americans say "in" her lap.
We English used to say we live "in" a street - which was also odd. Now we say "on" a street, like the Americans.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | July 10, 2019 12:56 AM |
Stop being dramatic and just hit on her. Follow your dick, OP, I'm sure that will come naturally to you as a previously active gay man.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | July 10, 2019 12:58 AM |
R49 since you’re in the process of figuring out that you’re not gay this probably should stop. You’re already catching feelings for her and this will only complicate things more.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | July 10, 2019 12:58 AM |
She probably wants you too or she would not be randomly sitting on your lap. Just make a pass at her.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | July 10, 2019 12:59 AM |
[quote] We English used to say we live "in" a street - which was also odd. Now we say "on" a street, like the Americans.
Before you know it, you'll be saying "axe" for "ask."
by Anonymous | reply 58 | July 10, 2019 1:03 AM |
You should contact the Family Research Council and the American Family Association and share your story so that other people can know that it is possible to turn away from the evil homosexual lifestyle and convert to being a god-fearing christian with true morals.
Clearly, sharing your story with others struggling with the demon of the homosex can only be the righteous thing to do and prove that conversions are not quackery.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | July 10, 2019 1:03 AM |
You're actually straight OP. Now go get married, sire a few kids, and enjoy a sick and boring life.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | July 10, 2019 1:04 AM |
R60 I am not straight. A straight man isn’t sexually attracted to and has had relationships with other men. This is ONE woman and the ONLY woman I have ever been attracted to.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | July 10, 2019 1:08 AM |
Would some of you hostile bitches kindly stick some fireworks up your ass?
A kid asked for advice. You don’t have to be abusive to a kid.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | July 10, 2019 1:08 AM |
This is DL, honey. That "kid" could be a giggling 68-year-old troll. And bitchiness is our stock in trade. He's getting some decent advice on this thread. The rest is par for the course here.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | July 10, 2019 1:11 AM |
R61 she could be the first of many and that is okay. Do you think you will miss men if you pursue a relationship with her?
by Anonymous | reply 64 | July 10, 2019 1:17 AM |
Hang out with her again, OP. I assume she knows you are gay, at this writing at least. Let her sit in your lap once more. Should you get hard, then tell her point blank "You're making my dick hard!" She'll either get up or she won't. If she doesn't , then you know what's up. Kiss her hotly, and free the beast. If she's willing, then fuck her until her titties start ringing.
Buddy is good, OP. Especially when it's 🔥HOT!
Report back to DO with details.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | July 10, 2019 1:22 AM |
You're only 22, OP; it's fine if you're still figuring out your sexuality. You can experiment with a woman without it needing to be some big, serious, committed thing, at least as long as you are upfront with the woman about the situation. This particular woman, however, sounds like she might be trouble. Getting involved with a co-worker is always dicey and the lap thing smacks of neediness and attention seeking.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | July 10, 2019 1:22 AM |
Nothing wrong with being bisexual but have you ever felt sexually attracted to a woman before? What is so sexy about her?
by Anonymous | reply 67 | July 10, 2019 1:26 AM |
r32, I disagree with you.
When in college a friend across the hall. Gayer than Kurt Hummel, was so in a huff one day and quite besides himself. I asked him what was going on, he said that he was having a bisexual crisis. It can happen. Gaylings can get stiffies for women from time to time. I also knew a gay guy who was so crazed by cleavage in a woman. Pushed close together. I told him it looks like a butt and not to turn in his gay card.
Straights can have moments of ???, so can gays. There is a spectrum.
Maybe OP went to fast to say he was gay, maybe he is bi. Answer is porn. Watch women, watch lesbian porn. Because if you are watching hetero porn you might be getting excited by the dude. See what comes up. But be sure to put tape over the webcam.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | July 10, 2019 1:32 AM |
R68 What you described are basically latent bisexuals. Again, not gay.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | July 10, 2019 1:43 AM |
It's a distinction without merit. You're trying to pretend that one instance of attraction to one member of the opposite sex automatically removes the "gay" label, even though the OP clearly identifies as gay. By your standards, probably 99% of the population is bisexual. It's stupid.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | July 10, 2019 1:45 AM |
But there is so much more which can come into play besides the obvious, OP. This lady could be turning you on in simple ways, too. Does she have a sweet voice? Pretty? Smell good? Caring and affectionate? Nuturing? Sitting in your lap is storing your masculine energy dude. Examine your attraction to her, and then fuck the he'll out of her, or make sweet love to her, instead.
DO THIS!
by Anonymous | reply 71 | July 10, 2019 1:50 AM |
R70 I mean if you are not exclusively attracted to one gender then you’re technically bisexual
by Anonymous | reply 72 | July 10, 2019 1:50 AM |
Everyone knows what you mean, R72. It's still stupid.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | July 10, 2019 1:51 AM |
Easy answer:
Marry her, have two or three kids, then divorce her when you realize it was all a “mistake.”
Enjoy the child support.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | July 10, 2019 1:52 AM |
Oh, for fuck's sake. The OP is still fairly young and maybe he really will decide he's bi at some point, but r70 is correct. Not every gay person who has felt a passing attraction to one or two members of the opposite sex is bi, nor is every straight person who's experienced a fleeting same-sex attraction.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | July 10, 2019 1:56 AM |
I could see cuddling with a female friend during a movie. But actually sitting on your lap? For 2 hours? Unless she's Thumbalina, that would just be irritating. And heavy. No thanks. Bi or not.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | July 10, 2019 1:59 AM |
So fucking stupid. I can't believe a higher ratio of posters were crying EST about a straight guy hugging me and passing out in my bed than this yarn about a gay guy being turned by his hag sitting in his lap for HOURS on a regular basis (because people totally do that).
By the way, by the time you reach your twenties you know if you have any inkling of heterosexual attraction. It's the air our entire society breathes in every waking second, especially among men. It's not like being gay or bi; there are no social pressures obstructing you. Entirely the opposite, in fact.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | July 10, 2019 1:59 AM |
R48, What? These days you gotta ask.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | July 10, 2019 2:02 AM |
R73 how is it stupid?
by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 10, 2019 2:02 AM |
I find it funny how many people believe that bi-curiosity is only a thing with heterosexuals. You do know that homosexuals can be bi-curious too, right? It's okay to be curious and explore a bit and it doesn't have to mean that you're bi or whatever, not until you're sure that your opposite-sex attraction isn't incidental.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | July 10, 2019 2:04 AM |
I answered that already, R79, in R70.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | July 10, 2019 2:04 AM |
What R17 said. EVERYTHING will set your dick off at 22 years old. Sitting on a fucking bus will give you a hard on.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | July 10, 2019 2:16 AM |
r75, r81 you can still be rarely attracted to one gender and still be considered bi. You can still call yourself gay because who’s gonna stop you but If you are attracted to more than one gender no matter the number of occurrence then you are technically bi.
by Anonymous | reply 83 | July 10, 2019 2:18 AM |
But also remember that sleeping with 10000 guys and 1 woman isn't a bisexual thing to do. It's a gay thing.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | July 10, 2019 2:22 AM |
R81 and if it was really an attraction and not something else mistaken for an attraction then it is part of the persons sexuality. They have the capability to be attracted to more than one gender which doesn’t make them straight or gay whether they acknowledge it or not.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | July 10, 2019 2:22 AM |
R84 but what if they are truly attracted to the woman? What if they lived the rest of there life in a happy sexual and emotional relationship with one? Would they still be gay if they could be satisfied by a woman and didn’t need to be with other men?
Would the same analogy work if a “gay” man has only been with one man and has continued to have relationships with women? Isn’t that the straight thing to do and they would be straight?
by Anonymous | reply 86 | July 10, 2019 2:29 AM |
Never put "please" in your original post. You're asking for trouble, dear boy.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | July 10, 2019 2:29 AM |
See r70, R83. It's still stupid no matter how many times you repeat it.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | July 10, 2019 2:32 AM |
Does my photo make you have tingles "down there"? If so, you might be a pussy man!
by Anonymous | reply 89 | July 10, 2019 2:35 AM |
R88 and how is it stupid? I said you can still identify as gay even though you would technically be bisexual. You can’t just erase a one time attraction because if it happened once it could very well happen again. There are many people who throughout their lives are only attracted to one gender.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | July 10, 2019 2:36 AM |
See r70, r90. It's still stupid no matter how many times you repeat it.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | July 10, 2019 2:41 AM |
This is bullshit.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | July 10, 2019 2:44 AM |
The shadow in r89 's pic always makes me think a stored-up period is being unleashed from Melania...
by Anonymous | reply 93 | July 10, 2019 2:55 AM |
Go and enjoy that straight privilege.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | July 10, 2019 3:00 AM |
viciously attacking the OP for posting about his confusion is truly a shitty move and I hope you're proud of yourself.
why is some 22 year old getting a boner so threatening to you?
by Anonymous | reply 95 | July 10, 2019 8:14 AM |
It is the faux naif EST troll. The only reason this thread doesn't have single digit posts like their others is because they figured out that claiming to be 22 would get more people to forgo incredulity and play along.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | July 10, 2019 9:53 AM |
DO NOT FUCK COLLEAGUES.
The colleague part of the EST was a misstep because it's the most important factor in all of this fantasy.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | July 10, 2019 11:52 AM |
Well her ass was against your penis..........
by Anonymous | reply 98 | July 10, 2019 12:26 PM |
[quote]Maybe OP went to fast to say he was gay,
Oh, dear!
by Anonymous | reply 99 | July 10, 2019 12:43 PM |
BLOCKED!
Lmao
by Anonymous | reply 100 | July 10, 2019 12:43 PM |
[quote]Would the same analogy work if a “gay” man has only been with one man and has continued to have relationships with women? Isn’t that the straight thing to do and they would be straight?
Who said anything about a relationship?
Also, what's with the "they"? He has a dick, he's a he.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | July 10, 2019 12:53 PM |
R95 Calm down Beyonce, nobody attacked him. He's a grown ass 22 year old man, not a confused kid. So what he got some mockery for his post no animals or children were harmed in the making.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | July 10, 2019 4:16 PM |
[quote]viciously attacking the OP for posting about his confusion is truly a shitty move and I hope you're proud of yourself.
Viciously attacking the confused is the raison d'etre for DL.
[quote]Perhaps it is that I find it difficult to forgive others, or their follies and vices against me. My good opinion once lost is lost forever --DL (voiced by Fitzwilliam Darcy)
by Anonymous | reply 103 | July 10, 2019 5:44 PM |
Snark is not the same as witless bullying.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | July 10, 2019 11:37 PM |
No, snark is worse. Far more cutting as it is usually used against someone close to you. Bullying is for everyone, if bullying is your cup of tea. But snark is for the people who are closer to you.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | July 11, 2019 1:16 PM |
Cuz my platonic friends are always sitting on my lap.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | July 11, 2019 2:05 PM |
Ok kid ,what is the outcome with this story?
I’m interested to hear.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | July 11, 2019 2:31 PM |
You're a late blooming bisexual.
It happens.
Nothing to freak out about.
You just have more options then the average human being on the planet.
That's all.
by Anonymous | reply 108 | July 23, 2019 4:15 PM |