How does one pick an Authenticated Name?

One cannot pick an Authenticated Name, OP. One must have an Authenticated Name thrust upon him/her/zher!

If you can't do it yourself, try this.

It's easy to pick the perfect name - just like picking the perfect pair of Gap khakis!

Mine is so awful, I'm never going to use it. But the stupid system wouldn't let me register without one. If they expect us to use them, they're going to need to let us change them.

[quote]Mine is so awful, I'm never going to use it.

r4 Same.

I chose a sexy literary figure.

You pick a DL fav!

I actually spent two days trying to come up with something really clever. I failed miserably.

What are the implications of this?? Who will see it?? And how??

I demand to know what is going on.

^^ [italic][bold]I want to speak to a manager!

Back in the old days, along with your authenticated name, you could have a profile page here at Datalounge. You could include as much personal information as you wanted.

MELANIAtheWHORE is my name. Now suck my toes, bitch.

But could you present hole, r11?

Someone the other day made the joke "authcunticated". Back in the day, didn't we actually say, "authentiCUNTed"? Can't quite recall now.

I'm official, bitches!

r11 There's an implication that that might be available again one day.

Easy peesy

Mash up two things you like, perhaps something from music and something from literature.

Some very clever ones here. I will ponder further and render my decision.

Mine is very old and so am I!

OP, I’m also convinced as they migrant to the new DL, I would be shocked if you can’t change your authentication name.

Be brave, be bold, be witty. Perhaps a twist of gallows humor even. OP, we toooooooooootally believe in you. You can do this bitch! Don’t marinate too long, it’s right there under the surface. Go for it!

I’ll check back in about an hour, if it isn’t done, you’ll spend the day in your room. Do not ask me if you can come out, you’re there until you get this done!

I really hope there's an option to change it in the future because mine sucks.

Oh my god ... I think I've done it! I just had to slow down, and actually read the fine print.

Still, so very, VERY unsettling. And in many ways, unfair.

I shall speak more on this.

R23, are you OP? Clarify.

No, I am not OP.

But I am still not over the struggles and strains of birthing my new authenticated name, alone in the wilderness.

Are being a registered user and being a paying user the same thing, or can you be the former without being the latter?

I think they're the same (?) As a registered user, if you logged out you had to use your verification code to log back in. Now it has switched to an email and newly created password, which also gives you the option of creating an "authenticated name" that can appear in the "posted by - optional" box below post.

I don't see that anyhting else has changed - it's just a new way of signing into your account, if you have one. AND YOU PAY THE PRECIOUS $1.50M A MONTH (which would buy a pound cake AND A HALF at the Dollar Store.)

I've moved on. r27.

I know you authenticated bitches will be logging in to make your nice comments, then logging out to cut people anonymously, then logging back in and acting as if your shit don't smell. We all know about you.

Ask any formerly authenticated poster (other than Erna) and you’ll realize that you will be happier as anonymous. Think of the most deranged person you’ve ever come across in a thread and now imagine them following you around DL bringing up something you said months ago that proves you are a Russian bot or a freeper troll. No thank you.

OP press 9 or say 9 for customer service, there is a very long queue though, so please be patient.

Not that I really mind, but I wonder what the reason is for the changes. Will they eventually take away "anonymous" posting? Maybe someone's bored and they want to see more infighting.

[quote]Some very clever ones here.

Thank you

Just pick something that is incontrovertibly pure and joyful.

OP, based on your post the obvious one for you is

MARY!!!!!!!!!!

(Count the exclamation marks to make yours unique.)

Another problem with “authentication” is everyone writes as if he think’s he’s going to become a DL legend. Dream on, losers. It ain’t that easy.

not here...... but i used Kitty Twist as my user name in some stupid neighborhood web site, for referrals, 'news' but mostly endless arguing and bitching back and forth with other neighbors who disagreed with any and everything someone else posted..... i was told it was reported people did not recognize my name so pick another one.....no thanks, people with no motion picture knowledge.

when i previously used Percy Dovetonsils no one had a problem with it....

[quote]It will be with me for forever!

You can't change it?

R34 At least mine is is no danger of becoming outdated.

Çunt.

Iss goot.

What R32 said. This is obvious preparation for defending the site against Russian bots and troll farms as the next election draws closer. First they will implement the authenticated name throughout the system. And in 2020, it will be a requirement for posting here. Sad, but probably necessary.

It will work to filter out the bots and troll farms, so long as Muriel gets to work and stays on it. But it will suck the life out of the place. The theater related threads will be reduced to All That Chat levels.

Mother!

I was just going to post the same, r30. So many over the years stopped using their authenticated name. It was easy to stalk and abuse authenticated users.

Excuse me!

It's just like picking your nose. Dig deep.

R27, where's the dollar store in Stoke on Trent?

They aren’t Dollar Stores, r47.

In England, they are Poundtowns.

^^^ As a big bottom I would love to visit Poundtown!

Big Bottom drive me out of my mind!

How can I leave this behind?

I would have chosen green for the authenticated names. It's a more pleasant color than red (which I associate with red tags).

R40 reminds me that Qui Etait Cette Cunt would be a fine option!

Seeing as how I went through all the tsouris to stay here, I wanted to explain my AN: TheGuyByTheDoor.

When I was in HS I would bicycle to the public bathrooms secreted in the wooded parks around my home after school. This is when I was 16, way back in the last century. There was an absolute hierarchy to public restroom/cottage/tea room behavior because of the police. I was considered "chicken" AND off limits in the park. I got to hang out but nobody wanted to be caught with an underage guy AND in a gay clinch. My job was to hang around the the door, walk around the building and knock on the wall and walk off if I saw anyone who looked like police. Some of the rest rooms had picnic tables and I would meet other young guys, the big plus, and we would move on. I would let the congregants know I was leaving and they would send out another Guy By The Door.

R53 Nobody gives a fuck you boring cunt.

Poundland NOT Poundtown

[quote]I would have chosen green for the authenticated names. It's a more pleasant color than red (which I associate with red tags).

It's not even red. It's orange (my least favorite color).

Dear FranklinBouvier,

Being a boring cunt is an opinion.

Thank you for sharing yours.

I care, GuyByTheDoor. Thank you for sharing.

I hope you eventually got a nice big juicy cock or a great suckjob, whichever you preferred.

Tony, dear...

DL FACTCHECKER EXTRAORDINAIRE!

I was FORCED to hyphenate

Poundtown, Poundland, Poundville who cares as long as I can get pounded there hard and often!

[quote]It's easy to pick the perfect name - just like picking the perfect pair of Gap khakis!

I appreciate GapPlaylistsGuy for constantly doing self promo just by posting.

R53 Fascinating social history interlude! Were their other terms associated with cottaging, which we don’t have an official name for in the states? What did they call tops, bottoms, the police?

[quote]Tony, dear...ThatsTheJoke

Oh, I see.

Wow...it's weird being addressed here by my name, I almost jumped when I saw it

R61 Is this what you were going for?

Should I be Fangirl #3? (I was Fangirl #3 back in the CMBYN days.) I look so awful in orange.

Are we allowed to have spaces in our authenticated name?

The thought of hyphenatia is thrilling!

R62 omg 😲 no!

Fuck you Kyle and "Morris"!

[quote]Should I be Fangirl #3? (I was Fangirl #3 back in the CMBYN days.) I look so awful in orange.

"Fangurl" sounds and looks better.

r58, one day there was one regular in the tea room and a really cute, blond swimmer guy rides up for the first time. We talk and he goes to a HS across town. There was a lot of "across town" trade who would never do anything in their own neighborhood and they would go "across town" where they would not be recognized. He was that delightful mix of scared and horny. I asked the regular to watch the door and as soon as we were alone in a stall, he yanked my shorts down and blew me like he was starved for oxygen. He swallowed, smiled, gave me a little taste of myself and left. It was a teenage fantasy come true. It lasted about three minutes. BUT IT WAS MEMORABLE.

Erna

Ernita

Oh, and he jerked off into my shorts while they were down. It was oddly enjoyable.

Huh.

R65 - MARY!

R73/R76 One simply could not ask for more! Sounds perfect.

I thought about this, but too many letters

SupercuntMother

[quote][R65] - MARY!

NO! Tony!

Damn! I just thought of the perfect name, but I'm already registered. Can I change my name? Please, Muriel?

The suggestion box has been removed For Your Convenience, r83.

R83 Just sign up with a different email.

Me too R83. I had to change it slightly but I'd like to know who took a name I've been using for years.

R80, just shorten it it to ThunderCunt.

[quote]r51 I would have chosen green for the authenticated names. It's a more pleasant color than red (which I associate with red tags).

[quote]r56 It's not even red. It's orange (my least favorite color)

The color reminds me of the commie reds. What EXACTLY is going on here??

[bold][italic] I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER ! !

Yeah, I registered already but was considering poundmetoo

Maybe....

I didn't care what I picked as my username because I don't plan on ever using it.

You're never madcap, are you, r91?

I thought about making mine "OP," but I felt the same way as r91 and just chose something random and blah.

I would prefer not to.

My choice was easy. Quintana Roo was already taken.

What's so unusual about YouStoleMyGoddamnHouse is that YouStoleMyGoddamnHouse is exposing himself as an RHOBH fan outside of a RHOBH thread, which is something they rarely, if ever, do.

Interesting.

If you are unhappy with your registered name can't you just type in a name like I just did below, not my authenticated name.

I dont know what the hell I was thinking with mine...

Whatever it is, your name should be unique and euphonious.

I want a redo.

Who do I speak to?

r96 Oh, here we go, the drama's already started. Cliques and exclusive threads are next, no doubt.

Has anyone taken CallMeByMyAuthenticatedName ?

Mine is not clever. It's just the first thing that came to mind.

Mine is just one of my many interests but one that I can go to for both tasteful and whorish occasions.

r96 I have ZERO shame about my Real Housewives contributions and vast knowledge (BH and NY only). Zero I say!

I should, I don't. Hence...(evil laugh)...

R99 Like a pair of earrings!

Here's the thing. Whilst it is true that using AN’s opens the gate to asshole-stalkers, the flip side is that it really creates a more “fleshed out” cast of characters. I realized today that I’ve been in this hellhole for ten years, and it was the regulars who truly caught my eye when I first found this place. Don’t you wonder what BlueAgave looked like? Or PornChick? Or SilverSlippers? We all know VOTN HAD to be tall, thin, and reedy and that Kelt absolutely had fiery red hair. That’s how I see them in my mind’s eye.

It’s reading a great novel vs. an anonymous board — one is much richer, and brother, I love decadence.

I am a dues paying member always logged in and I don't have an authenticated name and don;t want one. I like being anonymous and some times like to use silly names for fun.

R108, we need peekaboo posters like you too!

r99, did you steal that from The Music Man or something?

I don't know if I like mine. Perhaps I'll sign up with a different email address to change it.

Am I a frau or a fraud? Cast me as you will...

[quote]I would have chosen green for the authenticated names. It's a more pleasant color than red (which I associate with red tags).

That's a good point.

Green might show up better, too.

Muriel getting the orange out in time for marching season.

YET WE STILL HAVE NO EDIT FUNCTION!

[quote]Green might show up better, too.

It's green when you hover. Muriel giveth, but she mostly taketh away.

I chose mine in the moment. Having some remorse now. "Oh my sides!" is what my pick would have been if I had a few minutes to think, and if we could have "special characters". I will likely end up using the Anonymous dump anyway That said, I'm happy we at least have signature options.

This is fun!

Mine is a variation on my real name and a name I've used on various other forums but I googled it and there's someone else out there using this name on Twitter, so maybe he's about to get loads of abuse.

If I had one it would be "Ask daddy!".

[quote] ... Some of the rest rooms had picnic tables...

R53, the feng shui of that is remarkably bad. Revolting, really.

[quote]Some of the rest rooms had picnic tables

I hope there were at least disposable tablecloths.

What is this about? Is DL changing?

Yes r123, drink your coffee. It is.

What's old is new again. DL used to have authenticated names.

I wouldn't mind a tweak of the design as well, quite frankly.

I don't see it? Do you have to sign up? Why would I want this?

Will Muriel give us avatars too?

r127 Because you can't see link previews or create threads without registering first.

[quote]Will Muriel give us avatars too?

Gif avatars.

I can see them already (eye-roll)

It should have been green.....

r131 It is green in my browser? What colour do you see?

Difficult colour, green.

Yanny, r132.

I think the signatures should be lavender.

[quote]did you steal that from The Music Man or something?

It's from "I Love Lucy."

And your gay card is on probation.

i can create threads without a name

r137 Can you see the link previews, though?

R119 Or just loads!

I toyed with AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs but the hissing from the resident DL grammar prisspots would have likely done me in. The reference wasn't "me" enough anyway, and it is all about ME, bitches!

I'm on Kim's side on this issue anyway, so it worked out.

I would love to hear more from posters who picked a name and why. Also, if you picked one you feel is lame, don't be shy. Tell us! It's fun. You don't *have* to use it to post, only to login, so you have nothing to lose.

I was going to be Natalie Portmanteau but went for this instead.

Future Authenticunts of Datalounge,

When choosing your new nom de guerre, keep in mind that you’ll be able to add parentheticals to suit every occasion.

Omg!! Like this?

Just make something up. Dang

What if I see someone using my Authenticated Deadname and experience dysphoria?

ButchAssurance

You're all RILLY gauche

Well, I managed it. Somehow.

I am now Maiden-Aunts-Brigade, instead of just MaidenAuntsBrigadeAlternate.

It will give my decrees and pronouncements more OOMPH. And no one else had stepped up.

Top THAT.

Here goes. I think I hate the name I picked, too.

Good choice. Evocative.

Vividly so, in fact.

I submit this as the anthem for those of us who recklessly, foolishly mis-chose “nearly there” names.

You’ll get through this!

#Don’tGiveUpTheFight

R149, are you a Bonzo Dog Band fan? Your name is a line they used in one of their songs.

Mrs. Betty Pench was playing the trombone when she heard a knock on the door. "I wonder who that is at 11 o'clock in the morning?" she thought, and cautiously opened the door. Instead of the turbanned ruffian she expected she found a very nice young man. "Mrs. Pench, you've won the car contest, would you like a Triumph Spitfire or three thousand in cash?" She smiled. Mrs. Pench took the money. "What will you do with it all, not that it's any of my business?" he giggled. "I think I'll become an alcoholic," said Betty

r149 - you have found me out.

"Rhinocratic Oaths" is my favorite song from my favorite band.

Very astute.

Hello, my brother (or sister) R149

I hate and fear change, bitches.

I guess it's coming. Gotta do it soon.

I, too, would like my old authenticated name. It said it was already taken.

It was! By me! The hell.

It took me forever to decide, DL, but then I couldn't log on at all, and had to make the leap.

So I remain forever yours,

(PS, I'm OP)

I nearly picked "Nutloaf"

R160 I also considered Vagina Cape or Sara's Vagina Cape but that felt too specific, as did Sissy's Pizza Bread.

I couldn't make up my mind between Arlene Francis or Bennet Cerf.

R162, Is that you cousin DeForest?

When will someone claim [bold]Soft Butch Sous Chef[/bold] ?

R162 that’s perfect!! I wish I’d picked that one!!

Damn, I should have tried for MurderousFattyOnTheLam

We should have usedy stripper names. I think it was something about the name of your pet in the street you lived on at some point. That would’ve been amusing.

Well, R149 and R152, the whole family’s here! Might as well do the Trouser Press, baby!

Tried to be clever and failed miserably. I should have known better.

I wish I was STRITCHY!

I much prefer being anonymous. With names, people on forums start hating each other and forming cliques.

I'll use mine here this one time, special occasion. Basically my name with a flourish. Yeah, baby!

You’re cute r171. Reminds me of Vinnie on Kotter.

R172 Thass right, thass right.

May I say, yours is delightful as well!

And my work here is done.

Just use your old AOL screen name, like HotLatin78

I just watched "Polyester" for the first time. I wish I'd seen it before I picked my name. "Francine Fishpaw" or "Todd Tomorrow" has panache. I went the literary route.

I can't wait for people to get usernames like "Satan," "Satin" and "Santa" confused in a thread.

[quote]Just use your old AOL screen name, like HotLatin78

I didn’t wanna use ChunkyLover4901.

WHET Butterbean?

His Hurricane Katrina live-blogging scared the shit outta me.

More suggestions:

FatWhoresRejoice

OhDear

SlappedViciously

R170

You could be Stritchie

Now that we have had more time to get used to this new feature do you like it more, less, or just blah about it all?

Well, if you ignore someone under their authenticated name all of their posts disappear so it can work like Trolldar.

Just blah about it, but we are one step away from Muriel making it mandatory and getting rid of anon posting.

Your user name could project what you aspire to be.

Apropos of nothing, over on the imdb you would get your account deleted if you were too racy (or who knows why).

One guy started calling himself [bold]!!DELETED!![/bold] ... adding more and more exclamation points as he had to re-register : )

It cracked me up.

^^ "over on the imdb [italic]boards"

R107

Actually, my hair is dark blond, light brown

Use your old AOL screen name and relive your glory days.

I was wondering how to create or change a name, so I bumped the thread. I think if you don’t have a name, you simply use your choice of name for a while, and you’ll eventually be assigned it.

If you have a name, let your membership run out and then try to register with a second credit card and an altered name, if possible. Then do as written above.