What makes a person exhausting?

The Professional Victim. Nothing EVER goes right. I have no idea how hard they work to fuck it up.

Lack of common courtesy.

It's someone who insists on a one on one conversation while a larger group conversation is going on. I find this very annoying.

Actually, OP, my brother in law does that, but he does it in such a way that you want to watch the movie or show. He has always been right in the 20 years I've known him. He speaks with great passion and you understand why he is so into it.

Other exhausters:

Goes on and on with great gravitas about people I don't know and never will

Talks to you in a condescending tone about stupid shit.

All talk and no listen......for hours

Not intelligent, not funny, not wise, not insightful, boring.

A frau showing the way she tracks her grown adult child (22 yearly old is the oldest one) on her iPhone,giving every single detail, same frau showing endless nonsense and the people she stalks on Facebook.

People who shit on their living room floor.

Low talkers

[QUOTE] Goes on and on with great gravitas about people I don't know and never will

Yeah, and people who think their family history is so important, and always talking about dead family members.

People that can't answer questions directly and succinctly. People who take advantage of any question directed at them to hear themselves talk. Answer the question and shut up!

OP, you are describing my mother.

People who talk and talk and I have no clue what they are talking about and no idea what to say to them.

When they don't shut up or seem to understand any cues that they need to stop talking.

I had an issue with a large purchase and every call to the salesperson was 45 minutes of him talking - 90% of which was unnecessary. There was no other way to resolve the situation except to go through him - so I just put it on speaker and did other things until he was done.

Oddly enough, it's mostly men who can't seem to make a long story short, if you are telling a story about someone I don't know, just give me the highlights.

A person who always wants to play Devil's Advocate is exhausting.

Long-winded, non-succinct people.

People who focus on one, relatively tiny thing and don't focus on the big picture.

People who won't learn English and want you to speak into their phone app and have it translate, to have a conversation.

Shouting, seething, name-calling, making threats of harm/self-harm, overwhelming negativity in conversation, passive aggression leaking from every pore...

People with flatulence issues.

Anyone who describes a dream they had the other night.

Debbie downers. Everything is so very tragic and sad. I'm describing my brother's wife who has Fox News on all the time.

My co-worker who went to France for a week and now won’t shut up about how she got a “real French meal” there.

Gay men who have to tell everyone about their sex escapades, real or imagined.

People who use phrases like "mild to wild"

I agree r21. Like I give a shit about someone’s nasty sex life. Ugh!

No intellectual curiosity.

Rage-a-holics

People who are always complaining, talking behind someone's back, reveling in others unhappiness

People trying to sell you shit or get you to sell shit for them

Mentally ill who refuse to medicate

Friends that call and tell you their problems, even though the problems are the same one's that person commits over, and over, and over again. Day after day, week after week.

Trump supporters are exhausting because they are oblivious to reality and refuse to accept facts. It's very draining to be around them.

People who find themselves endlessly fascinating, and prattle on and on about the trivial details of their oh-so-fascinating lives.

Especially if they treat captive listeners as interchangeable pairs of ears.

R8 I agree. These people who have had their DNA done and have gotten into genealogy. They want to tell you about every family member they've found. Who the fuck cares?

Anyone under 40.

Idiots that believe every article on the internet and everything on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

People explaining gender and sexuality as if they invented it.

People who are ON ALL THE TIME. They have to be the one who says the wittiest, funniest thing all the time, making you feel like they are competing with everyone to make the best bon mot. They have to be the center of attention all the fucking time.

R39, I call them on it. When they act out, I say loudly and forcibly, "We know you're here!" It shuts them up every time.

gay men who have a chip on their shoulder against all muslims

Libs who still talk about the Mueller report and Trump being guilty. Libs who want Trumps tax returns but will never receive them. Libs in general...

People who say every sentence like it's a question?

Gay men who are Muslim apologists.

Straight guys that hoo and ha about every single girl that walks buy them even if they're mediocre.

People who talk about themselves more than they talk about any other subject.

Behaving like Markle.

Shared genes.

Also, a tie.

Breeders who would never post a picture of them self posting endless amounts of baby picks over and over and over several times a day or week. You had a baby or grand child. Good got the memo. So what else is going on in your life? OH, Nothing!

Grammar nazis.

People who negate assertions with obvious exceptions that any reasonable adult could intuit.

People that “Eeyore” any happy event or occasion with their own tale of woe because it has happened to them or made them happy.

Losers that scour DL posts for obvious autocorrect typos so they can gleefully post, “Oh, Dear” on threads.

[quote]People that can't answer questions directly and succinctly.

People who say "people that."

Typing "rs" for "relationship.

Bragging, "humbly" or otherwise.

There's a big difference between what makes a person a bore and what makes them exhausting. The bore you can walk away from, and they don't even notice. The exhausting person is a bore who's needy and who always has their eye on you to see if they're getting your attention. They need reaction to feed them.

[quote]For me, someone who describes the entire plot of a movie or TV show you've never seen in great detail and you're supposed to sit there and pretend to care.

Another one is people who, while you're watching TV with them, every time they find a scene amusing, they loudly describe the scene they just saw. Right. After. It. Happens.

"HA! HA! DID YOU SEE THAT?! BOB TOLD HER 'I WOULD RATHER BE EATING MY HOT COLLEAGUE'S ASS THAN YOUR LOUSY QUICHE, BARBARA'! HA! HA! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? HA! HA! CAN YOU BELIEVE HE SAID 'I WOULD RATHER BE EATING MY HOT COLLEAGUE'S ASS THAN YOUR LOUSY QUICHE, BARBARA'?! HE SURE TOLD HER OFF! HA! HA! AND THEN HE JUST FLOUNCED AWAY, JUST LIKE THAT! DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE JUST FLOUNCED AWAY! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! HA HA!!"

Um... we're both watching the same fucking show. I saw what happened.

What should I do if I know I have the propensity to exhaust a specific individual, but there are two occasions coming up in which we must both participate. Ignore him completely? Bare minimum "hi" and "bye"? I can't help how I feel: I fell in love with the guy. He takes my breath away. But he very obviously doesn't feel the same way. There's no discussing it that needs to take place. I just need to get through these two events.

R51 I’m so sorry to say but you really shouldn’t go to either event. You will ruin the life of all people around you.

That's what I thought, r52. I hope it's true what that song says about suicide.

When they can never concede a single point during a discussion.

People that post endless selfies on social media. Double points if they include a motivational quote, personal update or greeting to make it seem less lame.

Pssh @ R55! Haters gonna hate.

People who always have to be right (and will argue with you even after you've called them out for being wrong about something).

Alcoholics

People who think they're master manipulators and want to control everything (conversation, activities). Narcissists.

People who respond to posts with "Haters gonna hate", "Sure Jan", etc. It's like they can't think of a clever, original comeback, so they resort to the cliches.

"Sure, Jan" always makes me laugh!

Doesn't take much, eh, r61?

This doesn't bring a smile to your face?

No, r63. It makes me think of you as a lesser form of life, one I hope gets smashed by a subway train on its way home from work tonight.

Haters gonna hate!

R63 I find it to be an even more juvenile version of this.

R3 God, yes. One of my hugest pet peeves. Parties and gatherings are meant for light group chatter!

People who answer everytime you ask a rhetorical question.

R68 You're hired. I completely agree!

I don't know about exhausting, but I know what makes a person exhausted: Whirlybirds!

Thinking they're always right even when they're not. Being a control freak. Constantly whining and bitching about things and then doing them themselves because they believe that they're actually important somehow as a person.

Acting like a total cunt, I guess.

Oh, add "never paying for anything" or compensating anyone properly to the list.

Parents - in particular, fraus - who complain about parenting, how expensive it is (when they have their brats enrolled in piano, hockey, soccer, summer camp etc.), the long hours, how friends don't understand, how they wish they could go out for "just one night".

People who constantly reschedule. Pick a time and stick with it!

Talking about every illness they have ever had and all the hospital visits and tests that go with them.

I knew all about my mil’s hysterectomy, appendictis and removed gallbladder after the first time I met her for dinner. Between the main course and the dessert she went out to get a small jar with two big lumps in and proudly put on the table. It was her gallstones that had been removed 15 years ago.

Posting "Sure, Jan" and that aerobitch from GG.

People who have Trump Derangement Syndrome are exhausting

[quote]one I hope gets smashed by a subway train on its way home from work tonight.

Subways go home after work? I thought they were always on.

People who drag Trump into previously Trump-free threads are exhausting.

People who don’t listen to you because they’re so obsessed with themselves.

Have a coworker who does this. I was supposed to go to a work meeting yesterday and I told him twice throughout the day I’d be going to a doctor's appointment and wouldn’t be attending.

Today: “So how was the meeting yesterday?” Really?

Fibromyalgia "sufferers"

R79, DL is particularly obsessed with that. Shows how much control they let him have over them.

Now THAT is exhausting.

Going out to get something to eat with someone who has to have whatever they are ordering done a special way. They think McDonalds is like a fine restaurant and the chef can cater the menu to them.

People who pick on Fibromyalgia sufferers (this belongs in the "DL's peculiar obsessions" thread, too).

R83 reminds me I want to go to Five Guys for lunch.

R83’s was great! Those people are not only exhausting, but insufferable.

Along that same line: when you’re nice enough to offer to pick something up and they get all pissy at you because it wasn’t made to their liking. Bitch, I just picked the shit up, I didn’t make it!

I quit going to eat with a friend after he threw a hissy fit about the carbonation ratio in one of those Coke drink machines with a thousand flavors and asked for the regional managers number.

I had to drop him altogether soon after.

I have a relative that always has to tell you every detail of a story. About midway I will say, don't go around the block, cut thru the yard. Then they manage to sum it up quickly

I see shades of myself in many of the comments here. I'll have to make a mental note to stop some of my worse behaviors.

[quote]About midway I will say, don't go around the block, cut thru the yard.

Clichemeister.

[quote]Clichemeister.

I can't think of a better time for someone to use a cliché than when you want to tell them to get to the point of their story more quickly.

And I made mine in one word, r91.

Poeple who are obsessed with revenge or think it's ok to genuinely wish death on others, then wonder why they've been dumped or are constantly rejected by family/friends/society. No one decent wants to be around fucks who have those types of thoughts and feelings. They know you're an unlovable piece of shit and utterly exhausting to listen to for an extended length of time.

Contrarians, Know it Alls, Gaslighters

People who are hungry for validation and compliments.

Total bottoms who are not, at least, a 7

Being a cultist (whether it's for Trump, AOC or anyone in between) or a handmaiden. Shows a lack of principles and ability for critical thought.

That's scary r93

I agree with many of you, but shallow people is very unnerving for me, so worried about the most irrelevant details about their or others people clothes, cars, cellphones, but completely immune to other aspects of life. Those who care so much for their virtual life that go on vacations not for new experiences or to meet new people, but to take selfies and post them.

Thinking their opinion is more than, well, just another opinion. Beware of preachers!

Hypercritical people.

Self-appointed life coaches also drive me nuts, especially on Facebook and the like. And much of the time they are Know-It-Alls with nothing on their resumes, which is even more strange.

R99 I am not that lady, either, but I will sit in Central Park on a glorious spring day and be completely disgusted by those who walk through it and just read their phones without regards to anybody else around them. They are simply too stupid to be referred to as exhausting (mainly because I would never hang out with oblivious morons like that), and I would simply walk by, point and laugh if they walked into an open manhole because they were too busy on that idiot box to watch where they were going. They are the type of people who would trip over grating on the street, go to the hospital, and be back outside with their arm or leg in a cast, and reading their phone anyway.

Morons like that never learn and are a waste of space!

Coming to DL to start a thread about their pet peeves, likes, dislikes, and other shit nobody else cares about.

People who “dissect” their food and pick things off or out of it all through the meal. Tacky and gross.

r103 described 90% of Americans under 30.

Some people are high maintenance.

People who tell you their idea for a screenplay.

These two types of arguments:

“Were you there?!” As if our own BS meter, empirical data, intuition or life experiences aren’t enough to see through your horseshit; and

Those who take gigantic leaps in an argument that you never said, intended or meant, and any reasonable person would know that. For example, “I believe in a woman’s right to choose if she wants to have an abortion.”

“So your saying all babies should be killed?”

Exhausting.

R108, Now that you mention it, I have an idea for a dynamite movie sequel: You know how The Blob movie ended with them freezing it solid and airlifting it to the North Pole to keep it frozen? My idea for a modern sequel would be for the Blob to defrost because of global warming and becoming a threat to our modern world.

Sure Jan has forever immunity.

r111 has forever cuntescence.

R110 - Please elaborate.

OP, if you know somebody whom you socialize with, and more often than not, they leave you feeling tired in a "not good way", that person is exhausting. If you don't understand why, you don't need to dwell on trying to figure it out. That person is exhausting to you.

R113, OK, if I send you my screenplay, would you consider producing it?

When they try to get you to eat some food they love that you hate because the only reason you don't love it is because you haven't tried their particular rendition of it. Pumpkin pie is a perfect example.

If they voice every thought. Do they think we all do that?

P-E-O-P-L-E in GENERAL MARY!

People who won't stop talking. They're not interested in what you have to say in the least. My sister is like this. I thought she got better as she got older as she would ask more questions about me during our conversations. However after about the 10th time of me having to tell her what I did for a living I realized she only stopped talking about herself long enough to pretend like was interested in others things. It turns out, she's not.

Cynicism is exhausting

Conspiracy theorists, specifically those who find conspiracies in everything. The guy at the bagel store didn’t put enough cream cheese on my bagel: he’s part of a conspiracy to prevent gays from eating cream cheese!

[quote]When they try to get you to eat some food they love that you hate because the only reason you don't love it is because you haven't tried their particular rendition of it

Oh God, know what's 10x worse than that?

When you tell someone that you dislike a certain kind of music (or a certain musical artist) that they just so happen to like, and they'll dismiss your personal preference by saying "You just haven't listened to..." and then force you to listen to what you just said you didn't like.

A few years back, there was a DL thread on the Grateful Dead and one poster hilariously summed this up (the "noodling bullshit" line never fails to make me lol):

[quote]And here's a tip. NEVER tell a Dead fan that you don't like the Dead b/c they will bombard with 20 recordings of their shitty songs telling you just have to hear this version from RFK Stadium, 1978. And they will play some noodling bullshit that lasts 45 minutes.

I've found that the above applies to every classical rock band fan as well.

Vocal fry.

It doesn't even matter if they are telling you the meaning of life. It's exhausting to listen to - and irritating.

When they make those videos where a loved one is given a special gift and they record it to see their reaction—but the person takes 20 minutes gently and slowly unwrapping the package while everyone falls asleep waiting.

Same, r123. Last night watching Jeopardy!, all I could think of was "Hasn't that bitch got any friennnnnnds who could tell her how ridiculous she sounnnnnnnnds?" And then I realized all her friends probably talk the same wayyyyyyy.

When someone fancies themselves to be a master manipulator and they're bad at it.

A person who tells a story that is ostensibly verbatim:

I told him that I did not care what he ate for lunch and he got really mad. He said, "why don't you care?" I said "Because its not very interesting and you bore the fuck out of me." He said "oh, really? Well, that is rude". I said "Rude? You know what is rude....."

Exhausting doesn't begin to describe a late friend (much older), lacking self esteem but very narcissistic and often obnoxious when loaded, who would simply walk up to acquaintances and say, "Oh by the way...." then tell the most outrageous lie, usually about some young man who wanted him. It got to the point where we started to enjoy these tall tales and just laugh because the drunker he got, the more outrageous they got. In a sense, I miss him, but it got to the point to where I wonder if he was really believing these stories and wondering why we were laughing at them.

Someone who unabashedly lies to your face.

Needy people with self-esteem problems who keep on whining and apologizing and putting themselves down, expecting us all to give them pep talks and free therapy. Fuck that.

Autistics own this thread.

R93, precisely!

R57, Aspies are like this

90% of DL posters, now that's what I call exhausting!

Long, intricate stories told in excruciating detail. Or when people tell "jokes."

I always brace when someone says "Oh! I have a story about that" or "That reminds me of a joke."

Spare me from jokes and stories.

When they declare an opinion and say: "Change my mind."

That's most straight white men, R136. They expect the rest of us to explain and make a case for everything that doesn't mesh with their entitled meathead vision of life.

R136: "Debate me."

Yep, R136/R138, they think everyone ought to be interested and impressed with their opinions, which of course are always right. They'll argue until you're so sick of listening to them talk, you'll do anything to get away from them, then they announce: "I win!".

No thanks, asshole.

Kellyanne Conway, Rudy Giuliani or any other Trump lackey in an interview is the exact definition of exhausting

ADHD child

Pretty much anyone under the age of 27

and over the age of 70

People who constantly push their choice of music on you, forcing you to listen to clip after clip after clip. Just fucking DIE.

People who fucking can't get to the point and veer off in a thousand different directions. Hello, Chris Orzechowski! Shut. Up.

People who talk LOUD when you're just feet away from them. It's horrible

They wait to hunt around in their purse for money until after the cashier has finished ringing them up.

Most of these posts sounds like Asperger’s syndrome.

Endless porn and 'big dick' threads on DL posted by 300 pound basement dwelling shut-ins. Tedious and extremely sad.

Dudes, get out and see the real world.

The constant need to be the center of attention.

35 year old gay men that sound like 12 year old girls and think its cute...think Andy Cohen. Fat girls who always seem to find the opportunity to mention how some hot guy stranger told them that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen... in his entire life .

Couples that share social media pages to make sure everyone knows they are a couple and so nobody cheats. I had a old friend from HS say she couldn’t add my on FB because her and her husband had agreed not to add friends of the opposite sex on Facebook. Yeah, there’s a huge risk from friending a gay guy who lives on the other side of the country. 🙄

People that turn ANY conversation into one about their kids. I sit next to woman at work and within minutes of speaking to every client she has gone off into the weeds about being a mom, her kids, how hard it is to be a mother, etc. Hearing the same tales of maternal woe and silly anecdotes about her zany children all day long is exhausting. Defcon 5 Frau.

The unwillingness to allow anyone to carry on normal holiday-dinner conversation because there are just so many important topics being discussed by keto podcasters or Joe Rogan that we all need to hear about.

"People don't realize that consuming too little salt and drinking too much water is second only to sugar when it comes to the obesity epidemic. If your urine is lighter than an egg yolk, you're in trouble."

Yes OP!! I had a Frau friend who did this!

SJW SJW SJW SJW SJW SJW

Parents who discuss their baby’s bowel movements. Who in the hell CARES about this??? I don’t give damn if your child is “toilet trained.”

Fraus who brag that their done with Christmas shopping 6 months before Christmas.

People who pull out their iPad or phone and want to talk you through the 179 photos of their holiday.

Here’s we are outside old Parliament House, we were squinting into the sun so we look terrible in all 12 photos lol. Here’s David trying a chicken and leek pie, he loved it! This is the tulip festival, these are the yellow ones, these are the red ones, these are the orange ones, these are the white ones, these look pink but in real life they were more an off white. This is a puppy we saw at a cafe.....

Oh FFS, just hand me the phone or post on Facebook so I can look at the ones I’m interested in or not look at them at all.

People who talk or should I say rattle on without a minute rest in between . They love to hear themselves talk . They go on and on .

R16 you could have been describing my dad. Exhausting in every way.

Locking themselves in the bathroom and making threats of suicide via pill or razor.

People ruled by fears. They have no inner anchor.

People who see malice everywhere. Honey, you are the malicious one.

That’s true r162, everything is a disaster waiting to happen.

Women who say “I’m just one of the boys. I don’t really get along with women, they’re all just so bitchy”

No dear, you’re the bitch. Stop hanging around with us, go make some female friends. Try being nice to them, maybe they won’t hate you.

Negativity, all the time. And someone who won’t take responsibility for anything.

I know a couple of people like that r166, nothing that has ever been their fault apparently. Despite the fact that just about every bad thing that has ever happened to them is a direct consequence of their poor choices, disregard for others and complete lack of common sense. Exhausting.

Hypochondriac drama queens who think that every little thing is a life threatening condition and have their funeral planned before they even see a doctor. Sometimes they even diagnose themselves based on having 2 symptoms on a list of about 12 from the Internet.

A person I work with goes to church everyday. They watch Fox News and they love Trump. This little queen is such an insufferable cunt. He is an immature little princess that espouses all these wicked right wing ideas.

People who are never satisfied. They nitpick everything and search for flaws in it whether it be their food at a restaurant or a movie they are watching. Nothing is ever good enough. It is like they're afraid to enjoy anything.

One-uppers. You all know the type.

“We got a nice Christmas tree this year. It’s about 6’ tall.”

“Really? That’s nice. Ours is 7 feet.”

People who are unable to be happy for the good fortune of others. They react with bitterness and express frustration and envy.

Totally agree, R172

I worked in an small office, with a divorced Frau who was a receptionist and assistant to the supervisor. I was a few cubicles away.

All she talked about was her divorce and her children. She was a professional victim. Whenever a co-worker would stop in on a work related matter, she would tell her latest tale of woe about her irresponsible, neglectful ex-husband and how her children were affected by his lack of concern.

The woman would not shut up about it and had little else to discuss. She looked like Sandy Duncan but she had this nasal, higher pitched voice. Fortunately, it was a temporary assignment. I went back to my department and was promoted to a job on another floor.

[quote]Thinking their opinion is more than, well, just another opinion. Beware of preachers!

You described DLers.

. . . a person who talks and talks and talks and talks and talks without allowing one, anyone, to speak.

Y'all are exhausting!

[quote]People who are never satisfied. They nitpick everything and search for flaws in it whether it be their food at a restaurant or a movie they are watching. Nothing is ever good enough. It is like they're afraid to enjoy anything.

In other words: DLers. 😑

I can't think of what it's called, but when people add so many unnecessary words/replies to conversations. "I know, right?"

"Omg, really??" - Yes, really, bitch, I wasn't just making that up.

shaving below the neck