Keram Malicki-Sanchez knows...

Keram knows the hottest little black book making the rounds in Hollywood these days doesn’t belong to the Heidi Fleiss du jour, but rather Rick Singer. (One of his “clients” apparently stole it from his home office the day the indictments were issued, and said client’s best frenemy stole it from her - and made copies of it before “finding” it lodged under her G-Wagen’s front seat.) It contains the names of celebs significantly more famous than Aunt Becky and Lynette Scavo who pay him big bucks to get their spoiled little shits into college. While Keram doesn’t believe in outing people who aren’t public figures - and no, merely being celebrity spawn isn’t enough by itself - he can confirm that Arnold Schwarzenegger employed Singer’s services to get his son Patrick (who qualifies as a public figure, having dated Miley Cyrus and appeared in multiple films) into USC.

Keram knows Justin Bieber is in far more dire straits than is publicly known, and was about two weeks away from going Full Shaved-Head-Jacket Britney before his handlers sent him to Young Hollywood’s favorite halfway house (for going sober), Cirque Lodge in Utah. (It’s where Demi Lovato spent several months last year as well.)

Speaking of mental illness, Keram knows viewers of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” will definitely *not* be keeping up with Kanye’s bipolar issues. The producers ended up excising him almost entirely from the upcoming season, lest his cray-cray become an unwelcome distraction. They instead threw Khloe’s babydaddy, Tristan Thompson, under the bus by setting up her “accidental” discovery that Tristan was banging her BFF, Jordyn Woods. Jordyn was paid quite handsomely for her services - by “momager” Kris Jenner, all while keeping Khloe in the dark. Well, unless she reads DataLounge…

Keram knows TMZ is sitting on a sex tape of DL’s favorite cockgobbler, Aaron Schock, getting pounded by a WeHo fuckbuddy, but hasn’t aired it yet because Aaron is yesterday’s news - at least for the moment.

Keram knows Luke Perry did, in fact, die from a stroke, but not one due to natural causes. The part omitted from the official ME’s report - for protecting his kids - detailed a brain badly deteriorated from years of cocaine abuse, as well as the John Belushi-level amounts of it in his bloodstream.

Keram knows why Kate Beckinsale is fucking Pete Davidson, a man young enough to be her son (and a not-very attractive one at that): the combination of his 11-inch cock and “prodigy-level” cunnilingus skills. This is the same reason Ariana Grande put up with dating someone considerably beneath her fame level for so long - even with his manic-depressive spells and multiple suicide attempts.

Keram knows the rumors of Angelina Jolie playing a role in an upcoming MCU flick are bogus, considering her anorexia/bulimia and horse addiction have whittled her down to well under 100 pounds.

More!

Fuck no. Not this fanfic shit again. BLOCKED. Go back to the hole you were driven into last time.

FF/ ignored

And DL knows that Kerala lies and makes up every damn thing he posts,

Keram Malicki-Sanchez is the right way to say Merry Christmas to you

Even if fake, it’s a joy to read. Continue on please KM-S.

None of this is remotely credible to me except maybe the Aaron Schock thing. But as R7 says, it's fun to read.

None of this makes sense. Why Would Cruise be interested in Miles Teller, who isn’t even attractive? And he’s 32 on t of that.

Fake news!

Keram Malicki-Sanchez is the DL way to say "Jealous, bitches?" to you.

Meh. Give us some real scoop.

Fuck the haters, K M-S. Please carry on.

You are a link to the vanished wonders of DL past.

Holy shit, a KMS post! We haven't had one of these in years now.

They are always fun. And as always, fuck the haters that would rather have boring instagram ho' thread #42 than a fun gossip thread

I am tempted to believe the Luke Perry story. He was the oldest looking fifty-two year old (with health insurance) I've ever seen. Something was up.

Lukes Perry's health problems were definitely drug induced.

The idea of Tom Cruise trying so hard to get his hand on Cavill's glorious mantits and Cavill leaving him with blue balls makes me so happy that I want to believe it.

K M-S! Always a treat to read these posts.

More fan fiction.

[Quote] Why Would Cruise be interested in Miles Teller, who isn’t even attractive? And he’s 32 on t of that.

There is no accounting for taste. There are some bitches here who have tried to start threads talking up Miles fucking Teller.

Well OF COURSE it’s made-up, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t well-crafted.

I hope Schwarzenegger gets ensnared in the USC business.

I stand with Keram

KMS lost his shit when someone told him cold water does not "put out" heartburn. Trolldar outed him.

Turned out KMS was trolling the entire board, either screaming at people for nothing or talking about how great his KMS posts were. I assume he was trying to ruin other threads to drive people to his own, but who knows.

Great gossip.

But why would Schwarzenegger care about getting Patrick into a decent college? Maria Shriver would.

KMS will always have my love. respect and admiration for doing an episode of Friday the 13th: The Series!

I don’t believe Holland would agree to make out with JG and then turn him down for sex. Or that Cavill would turn down Cruise of all people. His MySpace ex wasn’t much to look at.

But don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of this kind of gossip returning to DL after vapid millennials and dumb fraus turned them off. So bring back Keram, Celebrity Caterer, Makeup Artiste, Cocaine Gossip Girl and the Crew Guy.

There's no way Cavill is 'plowing' Tom Daley's ass. Daley's about 4 feet tall...

Gossip is only good when it’s true, or has a kernel of truth. The only one of these that might qualify is the Luke Perry dirt.

Does Keram Malicki-Sanchez know he's a Datalounge star? He doesn't list us on his resume.

What no View gossip?

OMG, he's back! We missed you, Keram!

This is some scorching tea. So hot it scalded my tongue. I know nothing excited Tom Cruise more than the idea of "mentoring" a bunch of hot young men on the set of a Top Gun sequel. Whether Miles hooked up with him or not, you can bet Tom tapped a lot of the lower level stars/extras on set. Lucky bitch.

Keram -- do you have any recent gay gossip about any of the following:

Leo Dicaprio

Alex Pettyfer

Sebastian Stan

Orlando Bloom

James Franco

John Mayer

Logan Paul

Scott Eastwood

Cameron Dallas

Darren Criss

Would love to hear anything you got!

Bravo, Keram! Encore, encore!!

I want Faye Dunaway rehearsing to play Kate Hepburn crazy gossip!

Any sane insider wouldn't bother sharing stuff with us outsiders since there is no real benefit for him and it could cost him his career or access to the industry. An insecure cuckoo crazy person? Sure they may share insider stuff, because they are in an angry or frustrated state of mind (or just high as fuck).

So who originated this Making Shit Up event? And when? And why saddle this real boy with it?

This is vintage, old school Datalounge and I love it. Bullshit like this is what got me here in the first place.

Cheers me up no end to see you back Karim!

Keram, dumbass.

Sorry, Keram

I always confuse Miles Teller with that Jewish actor whose father may (or may not) be Steven Spielberg.

You mean Shia LaBeouf (sp?), I think, r40.

Yeah, this is a fun post. 100% made-up, but fun. We could stand more threads like this again.

Except the Cruise/ Cavill / Daley story is plain dumb -- while Cavill might put out for a good role, there's no way he's "plowing" Tom Daley for free, because he is actually straight. And sleazy that way, too.

Cavill is a dumb himbo willing to do whatever it takes to make it in Hollywood. He and Gyllenhaal had an affair and Jake got too clingy, and got in the way of Henry's career, so Henry dumped Jake.

Is this thread going to turn into a debate about whether Cavill is straight or not?

Pete Davidson's 11 inch cock! Yummers!

Would you rather yet another endlessly mind-numbing thread about Follies or boring non-starter Pete Buttigag or some unknown hairy Arab who apparently just one freak here wishes to be pounded by? Sheesh you people, are hard to please.

[quote]Would you rather yet another endlessly mind-numbing thread about Follies

Somehow, those manage to elude me.

[quote]Pete Buttigag

No, no, a thousand times no (though better endless Pete than endless Trump).

[quote]or some unknown hairy Arab who apparently just one freak here wishes to be pounded by?

Less than DL Hot. WTF did that bitch come from?

If Cavill couldn't bring himself to close his eyes and let Tom Cruise have a go, he really is dumb.

Lovely to see you again, Keram M-S! Kisses!

r23 there is/was more than one KMS. Two of them were legit, or at least had insider items that were borne out over time and confirmed by other posters in the days was DL had real insiders.

This one--not so much. The JB and LP ones make the most sense, but could be deduced from media accounts.

Great to see you, Keram M-S!

I don't care if it's fake or not. At least it's gossip, you know, what DL used to be about before all the endless Trump threads.

Bill Hader likes to get dressed in drag and troll for tricks on Santa Monica Blvd. That’s why he got divorced.

My favorite Keram thread

The gossip may or may not be true but I’ll take this any day over another fucking Meghan Markle thread.

There's no debate on Cavills or Tom Hardys sexuality as they both lived an open gay life on social media before their fame. One on Myspace the other on Instagram. Then suddenly it was all scrubbed though nothing dies on the internet so you can easily find all of it.

Goddamn I needed this! Keep the dirt flowing.

[quote]There's no way Cavill is 'plowing' Tom Daley's ass. Daley's about 4 feet tall...

I'm not sure I understand this comment. Just because Daley's short means he can't have rough sex?

What about some great gossip on it twink of the moment Timotae Chalamet? Thanks in advance

Of all the items, please let the Aaron Schock video be true.

I've seen all the Cavill gay pics but haven't found any for Tom Hardy. Could some kind dear post some links?

No one has an 11 inch cock. Beckinsale wants publicity- she's getting it, so mission accomplished

[quote]Except the Cruise/ Cavill / Daley story is plain dumb -- while Cavill might put out for a good role, there's no way he's "plowing" Tom Daley for free, because he is actually straight.

As has been much discussed on DL over the years -- and LONG before he got the Superman gig -- Cavill's now-former Hollywood friends were almost all (openly) gay men. There were numerous photos of the group hanging out in gay hotspots throughout WeHo. Most have since been scrubbed from the interwebs by WB's flacks, of course.

Also, considering Tom Daley ADMITTED to a fling with a 6'6" hottie, I don't think Cavill (who's several inches shorter) is much of a stretch.

Let's forget about the 6 feet and talk about the 6 inches.

Daley isn't that short - he's one of the taller divers (5'8 or 9). Jack Laugher's much more typical at 5'5.

Well, that was a rather brief appearance.

More!

All of these stories are plausible. And there have been rumors for months about Cavill rejecting Tom and being extremely uncomfortable around him on the set of Mission Impossible.

it was 7 inches.

The Schwarzenegger one sounds entirely believable

Keram, can you go and get stuff about people who are more interesting than this sorry group?

Keram, any gossip on Edgar Ramirez, like who he's fucking. Also, Ricky Martin and his husband?

Praise Jesus! I believe!!

I can’t tell if R51 is joking or not.

Any gossip about Evan Peters or Emma Roberts? I get the feeling there are some interesting things happening behind closed doors for both of them. Drugs? Mental illness? Cheating? Volatility?

Bump

You there, KMS?

Keram has temporarily lost the will to live and will be back shortly.

I'm surprised this hasn't been scrubbed off here too. DL is becoming the opposite of what it was once meant to be.

Bump