Tasteful Friends: $12 million penthouse on the UWS of Manhattan

He doesn’t even know how to pronounce Des Artistes.

Been on the market for awhile.

The proportions of the place are all wonky. Ceilings are too high, some rooms too big, some rooms too small. Great views, but I'd bring in an architect to attempt to make some sense of the place.

"I mean".....

Will he kiss me while he fucks me if I buy it?

Someone who can say "en suite" correctly shouldn't have any problem with "DezzArteest."

Hard pass

I would have liked it more before.

R8 ditto.

It doesn't have an open concept kitchen. How am I going to watch the kids when I'm cooking?

He's boring.

I liked this penthouse when it came on the market with a prior owner (and interior design), but the Memphis school makes me want to CLAW MY EYES OUT and eat them for breakfast.

Good lord, its hideous!

I wonder if you could just turn it into two stories, no mezzanine.

The mezzanine is structural. The great room couldn't exist without it.

I meant, keep the structure of the mezzanine, but extend it and make it into a whole floor. Still have the great room, but with a lower ceiling.

I thought the bathroom was okay, I don’t think it needed renovation. There was just a patch of dark brown tile that I didn’t like.

When you need to stack your paintings on a shelf, your bedroom is too small.

They should have shot that video in the spring or when the light is warmer. That terrace looks unwelcoming, but it's not.

'And this is where Mick Jagger porked some irrelevant model'

Looks familiar, like it's been in a movie or TV show.

I don't mind it, but that snow. Ugh. They couldn't have removed it for the shoot?

That great room could make a person feel lonely, it's so huge.

That enormous TV at the foot of the bed would drive me straight over the edge into the oversized great room. Why do people do that?

That wouldn't work, R16. That's the way the building is built. It's not a modernization.

Couldn't they have found someone a tad more sophisticated to present this apartment in this video?

"TRIPPP-lex?" Isnt a "TRY-plex?"

he is hot though, Gay? Bod?

Those iron doors belong on a tenement in Detroit.

Jon Hamm could have shown it better.

Gainsborough Studios has nicer, better proportioned, though smaller apartments in the same artist’s studio idiom. That’s where I’d live if I had this kind of money.

No Manhattan realtor ever says something is small, even when one can hardly move around a queen sized bed in a space.

Oh and this kitchen, it's fully functional!

This apartment below has been on and off the market for years, may have sold several times. Its a few steps from the penthouse posted. It's always caught my eye. It's what I always pictured when I imagined a large two story apartment. It's got the standard McMansion living room that I always wanted as a child, in a finely crafted classic building.

Tasteful

R3 is correct. The overall effect is wonky at best. The space could be beautiful, but it does need a lot of help to get there. I appreciate Ettore Sottsass and have some of his Alessi and ceramic pieces in my home, but a great furniture designer he was not. The art itself, it's positioning and those wacky shelves are all terrible - REALLY BAD. The dated track lighting looks like something that was discarded after a cheap 1970's apartment building was leveled to make room for new condos in south Florida. I love the windows and the roof deck is stunning. 1980's kitchens and bathrooms look like Hell period - I don't care who designed them. Keep the spirit, but use newer, sleeker materials and get rid of all of that mold and rotten grout. You can work with the high ceilings pretty easily, you just have to try a little harder. Here is a hint - don't hang art up the fucking roof. If a piece goes that high, it better take up most of the wall. This apartment looks like it was designed by an 18 yoa straight college student who has no interest whatsoever in either architecture or design.

r30 I like that apartment a lot. It's very "Margo Channing."

R25. “He” is DL favorite Steve Gold, realtor and former model from Million Dollar Listing New York. His sexuality is much discussed on innumerable MDLNY threads, but he’s supposedly straight. Great body, very sexy, despite not knowing how to pronounce triplex. Ugly apartment.

Steve is an idiot.

What's with the wethead look - straightening out frizzy, wavy hair? Does he leave a grease stain on a pillow?

R30 is fuck gorgeous !

So Mick Jagger made love to Joan Crawford in that hideaway space? How quaint.

If I pay $13 M, how long will Steve Gold stay and fuck me every night?

We aren't all bottoms on DL - how much of Steve's hole comes with a $12 million offer?

Maybe you and me and Steve, r40. Then when he leaves...

This apartment #909, in the same building is so much better . It seems like it still has it's original details.

Thank you, r42. I wonder if it was originally two apartments. One of the bathrooms is laid out like a kitchen.

I used to live on 69th between Columbus and Broadway, and I would walk across 67th Street every morning to walk to work. One of those blocks people dream of living in when they move to New York.

OMG, R42. That apartment is amazing!

R41 - ;-)

I'd buy if Steve cums with it! He's so sexy!

The bedrooms are poky? They're slow? Are your bedrooms speedier?

Poky in the other sense of the word, R47: uncomfortably small and cramped.

I agree that the apartment posted at R42 is miles above the originally posted apartment, in terms of both character and proportion.

[quote]Also, I expect updated bathrooms for 12 mil.

For that money I expect a blow job, some serious fingering and a nice dinner.

Yes, for $12 million I'd better have some hot thing on call to service me.

R34 thanks.

His body is my ideal. not too muscly or overly ripped and the perfect amount of body hair.

Not "some hot thing," r50. Molten Steve Gold.

Did you get my WWs, r51 r50?

The cubbies need filling. Otherwise, it looks great for a pre-school classroom!

ask for what you can get.

its over inflated in costs by 11 mill

What would the original apartment have cost in 1976, as just a duplex? $50,000?

I love this apartment, especially the great room. Who cares about the Memphis decor? Practically all apts get redone anyways. My dream is one very grand room with high ceilings. The rest can be pokey.

He's hot. That tufted couch bed is ridiculous. The rooms are like servants quarters but nothing says money in a Manhattan apartment like a two story great room.