My parents photoshopped a photo of me as a toddler dialing a phone with a pencil.
What cheating methods did your parents use to gain your admission to Datalounge?
|by You?||reply 100||03/14/2019|
My parents claimed I was "T" when they saw my sonogram.
|by You?||reply 1||03/12/2019|
That phone is just darling OP!
|by You?||reply 2||03/12/2019|
My mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA.
|by You?||reply 3||03/12/2019|
My parents called the Vatican, to get word back to South Bend.
|by You?||reply 4||03/12/2019|
My parents bought me a second hand copy of Judy at Carnegie Hall on vinyl from Goodwill
|by You?||reply 5||03/12/2019|
I’m proud to say I got into DataLounge without the assistance of my mother, Joan Crawford
|by You?||reply 6||03/12/2019|
My mother made me watch old movies with her mother.
My father looked like Ed Asner.
|by You?||reply 7||03/12/2019|
My parents sent a baby pic of me presenting hole which was taken when they were changing my diapers.
|by You?||reply 8||03/12/2019|
My parents didn't do a thing to help me. Everything I've achieved I did MYSELF!
|by You?||reply 9||03/12/2019|
My parents had an indentured servant, Griselda Medina, who did all my homework.
|by You?||reply 10||03/12/2019|
My parents said that I had a flair for cooking and that, even as a child, I never drained pasta.
|by You?||reply 11||03/12/2019|
Ma sucked all the right cocks.
|by You?||reply 12||03/12/2019|
Forged a letter of recommendation from Joan Steffend.
|by You?||reply 13||03/12/2019|
Mum threatened everyone on DL to sue them, telling them to be best and not to be bullies.
|by You?||reply 14||03/12/2019|
Mother promised to never bring her margarine fountain to any future social gatherings.
|by You?||reply 15||03/12/2019|
Claimed my father was a Blatino Husbear rather than a cis white male.
|by You?||reply 16||03/12/2019|
My parents donated original LP albums from the Sound of Music and Cabaret to the DL permanent collection to secure my admission.
|by You?||reply 17||03/12/2019|
My momma told me...if I was goody....that she would buy me....chats with bitchy queenies ( I went on to kiss a soldier)
|by You?||reply 18||03/12/2019|
The pearls I clutched were purchased on QVC.
|by You?||reply 19||03/12/2019|
Paid a proctor to ensure I got a 1580 on my cunting.
|by You?||reply 20||03/12/2019|
Jussie Smollett helped me write my essay on being the victim of a hate crime.
|by You?||reply 21||03/12/2019|
She was molested.
|by You?||reply 22||03/12/2019|
My parents have major stock in Big Caftan.
|by You?||reply 23||03/12/2019|
My grandmother is said to have been a french-speaking great beauty and society doyenne in pre-revolutionary Cuba. My father was of course a war hero then bisexual career pilot for Pan Am, horse hung with a natural athletic build and jet black hair. My mother, a starlet, was almost a victim of the Manson Family.
|by You?||reply 24||03/12/2019|
My mom is nice and friendly and loyal, and my (straight) dad is an ex frat/jock type who still wears his letterman jacket. Muriel’s been friends with Mom for years, but one day dad’s arm just slipped down the back of Muriel’s chair, and next thing you know they’ve been having an affair for years!
|by You?||reply 25||03/12/2019|
They photo shopped my baby pics to make it look as though I were born with a hairy chest, ripped abs, and pecs.
|by You?||reply 26||03/12/2019|
I have been able to take 3 cocks in my ass simultaneously, from the age of 17. I worked my ass for admission, no parental help at all. Of course, daddy, my uncle, and a kind neighbor trained my talents.
|by You?||reply 27||03/12/2019|
My dragmother stoned a pair of Muriel's XXXXXXL tights to get me my spot here and I ain't going anywhere!
|by You?||reply 28||03/12/2019|
They sent in a picture of me on a white fur rug, face down, and presenting hole. At 18 months of age.
|by You?||reply 29||03/12/2019|
My mother was the only one who could out drink Helen Lawson!!
|by You?||reply 30||03/12/2019|
Dear Lord in heaven!
|by You?||reply 31||03/12/2019|
My mother would be ashamed if she knew I was here. I got in by hanging out in the old days with Edwina, back when just anyone could play here and everything was fabulous.
|by You?||reply 32||03/12/2019|
Mother and Father made sure to inform admissions that my imaginary friend was Hermes Pan.
|by You?||reply 33||03/12/2019|
You have to be pretty dull not to get in here as a legacy.
|by You?||reply 34||03/12/2019|
During my conception, Mom and Dad sang the "You're Just in Love" duet from [italic] Call Me Madam[/italic].
Note: The following is a docudramatic recreation based on actual events.
|by You?||reply 35||03/12/2019|
Mother managed to die in grease fire looking like a lancome ad.
|by You?||reply 36||03/12/2019|
The proctor was an insatiable bottom, and I shall say no more.
|by You?||reply 37||03/12/2019|
Twenty-two pounds of Red Dragon Cheese spread around to the right people.
|by You?||reply 38||03/12/2019|
My parents showed me this clip of You're Just in Love daily so that by the time I entered puberty I could work my skirt like a real pro.
|by You?||reply 39||03/12/2019|
My parents made us take long car rides just so we could sing along with original cast recordings of Broadway Musicals. I used my charm and lyrical knowledge to convince Muriel that I would be an asset on certain threads.
|by You?||reply 40||03/12/2019|
A large flat pan full of bread pudding is all it takes.
|by You?||reply 41||03/12/2019|
My Dad played the soundtrack to Mame, South Pacific and Camelot to me.
|by You?||reply 42||03/12/2019|
Mummy taught me how to avoid talking to poor people and escape the badly-dressed.
|by You?||reply 43||03/12/2019|
R39, the mere fact that your mother and especially your father knew who Elaine Stritch was gave you automatic DL status at birth.
|by You?||reply 44||03/12/2019|
I can't prove it, but I suspect they shit in Erna's mouth.
|by You?||reply 45||03/12/2019|
R6 Your pride is unseemly. Your mother Joan helped you in other innumerable ways that you are too ungrateful to acknowledge.
|by You?||reply 46||03/12/2019|
The moved in next door to Muriel and enrolled me for swimming and rugby lessons
|by You?||reply 47||03/12/2019|
My parents pencil-dialed Muriel repeatedly on the our luxury rotary telephone phone...
|by You?||reply 48||03/12/2019|
My mother gave the admissions team our last wedge of Red Dragon cheese.
|by You?||reply 49||03/12/2019|
My parents claimed we were some small part Native American.
|by You?||reply 50||03/12/2019|
My mother shoved rotting tuna up my pussy from the day I was born
|by You?||reply 51||03/12/2019|
Mother bought me the book "Little Me" when I was 8.
|by You?||reply 52||03/12/2019|
My mother wrote my admission essay on how blue the sky was that day.
|by You?||reply 53||03/12/2019|
No matter how much some Parents are willing to do for their children
there are some ungrateful little tramps that just refuse to be winners!
|by You?||reply 54||03/12/2019|
|by You?||reply 55||03/12/2019|
My parents bought me a complete set of Golden Girls Chia Pets
|by You?||reply 56||03/12/2019|
Pa lied and said I sport 8 inches straight outta da cold creek.
|by You?||reply 57||03/13/2019|
Mama shook her eggrolls for Mr. Goldstone
|by You?||reply 58||03/13/2019|
My mother is DL royalty, so there was no need for her to cheat.
|by You?||reply 59||03/13/2019|
My mom paid for a bunch of college educated rich kids to run my witty social media accounts and activities. Now, she is throwing an epic tantrum aided by vicodin and vodka. What happened?
|by You?||reply 60||03/13/2019|
My mom is in prison for that College Scam Scheme. I'll ask her when she gets out.
|by You?||reply 61||03/13/2019|
My mom hired a DL coach through a shady DL prep program. He said when ever you get into trouble on DL, "Eat Cookies!"
|by You?||reply 62||03/13/2019|
My parents paid PMBT to write my essay. I'm convinced that I got in based on one passage describing how, as a candy striper, I comforted a sleeping quadriplegic dude by hovering an inch above his face and deeply inhaling his exhalations.
|by You?||reply 63||03/13/2019|
I'm Meghan Markle's gay secret half brother, we don't talk anymore because I fucked her first husband. You know, the marriage that never happened. Oh it happened baby and Murial wants all the lushious details..
|by You?||reply 64||03/13/2019|
My dad bribed the admissions committee with items from his vintage pron collection.
|by You?||reply 65||03/13/2019|
Lucy was going to bribe Muriel to get me in, but Gary talked her out of it.
|by You?||reply 66||03/13/2019|
I was circumcised while in my mother’s womb so at the time I was born she could proclaim loudly, to the supporting hospital staff, that I was cut like our Lord.
|by You?||reply 67||03/13/2019|
I like blue.
|by You?||reply 68||03/13/2019|
Father sent his Playgirl magazines to Muriel to secure my admission.
|by You?||reply 69||03/13/2019|
My mother made them pron cocktails to whet their appetite.
|by You?||reply 70||03/13/2019|
My parents submitted video tape of me dancing around the living room to the OCR of West Side Story (I was Anita).
|by You?||reply 71||03/13/2019|
Mama shaved my head and said I had Stage 4 Fibromyalgia.
|by You?||reply 72||03/13/2019|
Mommy taught me EVERYTHING I know...and DO! Muriel really had no choice.
|by You?||reply 73||03/13/2019|
My divine Grandmother Hortense , walked up to Gary Morton at Chasen's and bitch slapped him, for making his lovely Wife appear in Mame. Then she walked over and hit Judy Holiiday with her purse , for stealing that Oscar from Bette.
Meanwhile, Granddaddy was in the Lounge , chatting up Vivian Vance.
|by You?||reply 74||03/13/2019|
In the water my mother was a very skinny lady!
|by You?||reply 75||03/13/2019|
I hired an actor to play me for the interview.
|by You?||reply 76||03/13/2019|
Please to understand, I am admitted Datalounge honestly for hard study! I hit baseball, I cross street with arm of old lady, and I eat all the time big beef cheeseburger. Muriel she say she lucky for have nice all-American boy!
I do not know what is pelmeni.
|by You?||reply 77||03/13/2019|
Mother bribed Muriel with an extra quarter on top off the monthly membership fee. She is doing her taxes now, and just called down to the basement to ask me if that quarter is tax deductible: is she about to commit a federal crime?
|by You?||reply 78||03/13/2019|
I showed off my martini-making skills and recited Miss Vera Charles's monologue from [italic]Midsummer Madness.[/italic] I also demonstrated the bottoming skills I learned at The Bixby School using an ear of corn (in memory of Miss Carol Channing, one of my aunties' BFFs).
|by You?||reply 79||03/13/2019|
$10 Aldi gift card
|by You?||reply 80||03/13/2019|
daddy had to let the gay admissions officer blow him 3 times a week for a yr , to get me iinto USC.....
now, they are lovers and my momma is way pissed
|by You?||reply 81||03/13/2019|
Ma changed husbands faster than she changed bedsheets, but Gran moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo to get me my $1.50 a month here.
|by You?||reply 82||03/13/2019|
[quote]r24 My grandmother is said to have been a french-speaking great beauty and society doyenne in pre-revolutionary Cuba.
|by You?||reply 83||03/13/2019|
Mater not only showed me all her VHC copies of Helen Lawson's Christmas Specials but she also ran her 16mm private copy of the kinescope of Lawson's live special version of Lady Godiva, where the director was forced to tell the AD when he reported he didn't know how to respond to the crew complaints of how much she flashed when getting on and off the horse whether it was a matter for costuming or hairdressing.
|by You?||reply 84||03/13/2019|
My DL application identifies me as "Ted Casablanca."
|by You?||reply 85||03/13/2019|
Mother submitted my photo below, lauded my fashion sense and declared I'd be a boon to any conversation about style and decor. I dote on her and she truthfully told I'd be especially respectful and solicitous to eldergays.
We thought that might not be enough so she donated her entire collection of 1920s costumes bought from MGM auctions to the Data Lounge wardrobe department. You may choose the costume of your heart's desire for the next Data Lounge Masquerade Ball.
|by You?||reply 86||03/13/2019|
Did biddy Huffman buy the emmys she won? would not doubt it.
|by You?||reply 87||03/13/2019|
My parents were able to get me letters of recommendation from Mamie Eisenhower, Babe Paley and Sylvia Browne.
|by You?||reply 88||03/13/2019|
he felicity take the $ u spend on facelifts and buy urself a new conscience.
|by You?||reply 89||03/13/2019|
I had to lie about my date of birth on my DL admission, because I'm 50 but look 30. #humblebrag
|by You?||reply 90||03/14/2019|
I said my mother is Ginny in Billing. And she cradles coffee mugs.
|by You?||reply 91||03/14/2019|
My parents paid Barbara Bennett from "Redbook" to write my application essay.
|by You?||reply 92||03/14/2019|
Mama whipped them into a frenzy of fear when my file was deemed:
|by You?||reply 93||03/14/2019|
Momma hooked Muriel up with her dealer.
|by You?||reply 94||03/14/2019|
[quote]My parents paid Barbara Bennett from "Redbook" to write my application essay.
My parents paid Alyssa Edwards as Joan Crawford to write mine.
|by You?||reply 95||03/14/2019|
Mum pretended that other breeding regions were not sparing in their efforts to acquire a good Broderick for their stables either.
|by You?||reply 96||03/14/2019|
[quote]My divine Grandmother Hortense , walked up to Gary Morton at Chasen's and bitch slapped him, for making his lovely Wife appear in Mame. Then she walked over and hit Judy Holiiday with her purse , for stealing that Oscar from Bette.
Immediate expulsion! Judy Holliday died before "Mame" even opened on Broadway, and a WELL before there was a movie version.
|by You?||reply 97||03/14/2019|
My mother showed up drunk at the admissions office and attempted to seduce Muriel with a lewd dance and a chant of "Hortense, Hortense, she's got no sense, write her name on the privy fence."
|by You?||reply 98||03/14/2019|
My cilantro nut loaf recipe, and a Michfest forum login
|by You?||reply 99||03/14/2019|
Bought the answers to the admission test.
[bold]Mr. Turk : Mrs. Dan Savage :: Nasty Pig : [/bold]
|by You?||reply 100||03/14/2019|