Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

What cheating methods did your parents use to gain your admission to Datalounge?

My parents photoshopped a photo of me as a toddler dialing a phone with a pencil.

by You?reply 10103/21/2019

My parents claimed I was "T" when they saw my sonogram.

by You?reply 103/12/2019

That phone is just darling OP!

by You?reply 203/12/2019

My mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA.

by You?reply 303/12/2019

My parents called the Vatican, to get word back to South Bend.

by You?reply 403/12/2019

My parents bought me a second hand copy of Judy at Carnegie Hall on vinyl from Goodwill

by You?reply 503/12/2019

I’m proud to say I got into DataLounge without the assistance of my mother, Joan Crawford

by You?reply 603/12/2019

My mother made me watch old movies with her mother.

My father looked like Ed Asner.

by You?reply 703/12/2019

My parents sent a baby pic of me presenting hole which was taken when they were changing my diapers.

by You?reply 803/12/2019

My parents didn't do a thing to help me. Everything I've achieved I did MYSELF!

by You?reply 903/12/2019

My parents had an indentured servant, Griselda Medina, who did all my homework.

by You?reply 1003/12/2019

My parents said that I had a flair for cooking and that, even as a child, I never drained pasta.

by You?reply 1103/12/2019

Ma sucked all the right cocks.

by You?reply 1203/12/2019

Forged a letter of recommendation from Joan Steffend.

by You?reply 1303/12/2019

Mum threatened everyone on DL to sue them, telling them to be best and not to be bullies.

by You?reply 1403/12/2019

Mother promised to never bring her margarine fountain to any future social gatherings.

by You?reply 1503/12/2019

Claimed my father was a Blatino Husbear rather than a cis white male.

by You?reply 1603/12/2019

My parents donated original LP albums from the Sound of Music and Cabaret to the DL permanent collection to secure my admission.

by You?reply 1703/12/2019

My momma told me...if I was goody....that she would buy me....chats with bitchy queenies ( I went on to kiss a soldier)

by You?reply 1803/12/2019

The pearls I clutched were purchased on QVC.

by You?reply 1903/12/2019

Paid a proctor to ensure I got a 1580 on my cunting.

by You?reply 2003/12/2019

Jussie Smollett helped me write my essay on being the victim of a hate crime.

by You?reply 2103/12/2019

She was molested.

by You?reply 2203/12/2019

My parents have major stock in Big Caftan.

by You?reply 2303/12/2019

My grandmother is said to have been a french-speaking great beauty and society doyenne in pre-revolutionary Cuba. My father was of course a war hero then bisexual career pilot for Pan Am, horse hung with a natural athletic build and jet black hair. My mother, a starlet, was almost a victim of the Manson Family.

by You?reply 2403/12/2019

My mom is nice and friendly and loyal, and my (straight) dad is an ex frat/jock type who still wears his letterman jacket. Muriel’s been friends with Mom for years, but one day dad’s arm just slipped down the back of Muriel’s chair, and next thing you know they’ve been having an affair for years!

by You?reply 2503/12/2019

They photo shopped my baby pics to make it look as though I were born with a hairy chest, ripped abs, and pecs.

by You?reply 2603/12/2019

I have been able to take 3 cocks in my ass simultaneously, from the age of 17. I worked my ass for admission, no parental help at all. Of course, daddy, my uncle, and a kind neighbor trained my talents.

by You?reply 2703/12/2019

My dragmother stoned a pair of Muriel's XXXXXXL tights to get me my spot here and I ain't going anywhere!

by You?reply 2803/12/2019

They sent in a picture of me on a white fur rug, face down, and presenting hole. At 18 months of age.

by You?reply 2903/12/2019

My mother was the only one who could out drink Helen Lawson!!

by You?reply 3003/12/2019

Dear Lord in heaven!

by You?reply 3103/12/2019

My mother would be ashamed if she knew I was here. I got in by hanging out in the old days with Edwina, back when just anyone could play here and everything was fabulous.

by You?reply 3203/12/2019

Mother and Father made sure to inform admissions that my imaginary friend was Hermes Pan.

by You?reply 3303/12/2019

You have to be pretty dull not to get in here as a legacy.

by You?reply 3403/12/2019

During my conception, Mom and Dad sang the "You're Just in Love" duet from [italic] Call Me Madam[/italic].

Note: The following is a docudramatic recreation based on actual events.

by You?reply 3503/12/2019

Mother managed to die in grease fire looking like a lancome ad.

by You?reply 3603/12/2019

The proctor was an insatiable bottom, and I shall say no more.

by You?reply 3703/12/2019

Twenty-two pounds of Red Dragon Cheese spread around to the right people.

by You?reply 3803/12/2019

My parents showed me this clip of You're Just in Love daily so that by the time I entered puberty I could work my skirt like a real pro.

by You?reply 3903/12/2019

My parents made us take long car rides just so we could sing along with original cast recordings of Broadway Musicals. I used my charm and lyrical knowledge to convince Muriel that I would be an asset on certain threads.

by You?reply 4003/12/2019

A large flat pan full of bread pudding is all it takes.

by You?reply 4103/12/2019

My Dad played the soundtrack to Mame, South Pacific and Camelot to me.

by You?reply 4203/12/2019

Mummy taught me how to avoid talking to poor people and escape the badly-dressed.

by You?reply 4303/12/2019

R39, the mere fact that your mother and especially your father knew who Elaine Stritch was gave you automatic DL status at birth.

by You?reply 4403/12/2019

I can't prove it, but I suspect they shit in Erna's mouth.

by You?reply 4503/12/2019

R6 Your pride is unseemly. Your mother Joan helped you in other innumerable ways that you are too ungrateful to acknowledge.

by You?reply 4603/12/2019

The moved in next door to Muriel and enrolled me for swimming and rugby lessons

by You?reply 4703/12/2019

My parents pencil-dialed Muriel repeatedly on the our luxury rotary telephone phone...

Muriel caved....

by You?reply 4803/12/2019

My mother gave the admissions team our last wedge of Red Dragon cheese.

by You?reply 4903/12/2019

My parents claimed we were some small part Native American.

by You?reply 5003/12/2019

My mother shoved rotting tuna up my pussy from the day I was born

by You?reply 5103/12/2019

Mother bought me the book "Little Me" when I was 8.

by You?reply 5203/12/2019

My mother wrote my admission essay on how blue the sky was that day.

by You?reply 5303/12/2019

No matter how much some Parents are willing to do for their children

there are some ungrateful little tramps that just refuse to be winners!

by You?reply 5403/12/2019

Surprise anal!

by You?reply 5503/12/2019

My parents bought me a complete set of Golden Girls Chia Pets

by You?reply 5603/12/2019

Pa lied and said I sport 8 inches straight outta da cold creek.

by You?reply 5703/13/2019

Mama shook her eggrolls for Mr. Goldstone

by You?reply 5803/13/2019

My mother is DL royalty, so there was no need for her to cheat.

by You?reply 5903/13/2019

My mom paid for a bunch of college educated rich kids to run my witty social media accounts and activities. Now, she is throwing an epic tantrum aided by vicodin and vodka. What happened?

by You?reply 6003/13/2019

My mom is in prison for that College Scam Scheme. I'll ask her when she gets out.

by You?reply 6103/13/2019

My mom hired a DL coach through a shady DL prep program. He said when ever you get into trouble on DL, "Eat Cookies!"

by You?reply 6203/13/2019

My parents paid PMBT to write my essay. I'm convinced that I got in based on one passage describing how, as a candy striper, I comforted a sleeping quadriplegic dude by hovering an inch above his face and deeply inhaling his exhalations.

by You?reply 6303/13/2019

I'm Meghan Markle's gay secret half brother, we don't talk anymore because I fucked her first husband. You know, the marriage that never happened. Oh it happened baby and Murial wants all the lushious details..

by You?reply 6403/13/2019

My dad bribed the admissions committee with items from his vintage pron collection.

by You?reply 6503/13/2019

Lucy was going to bribe Muriel to get me in, but Gary talked her out of it.

by You?reply 6603/13/2019

I was circumcised while in my mother’s womb so at the time I was born she could proclaim loudly, to the supporting hospital staff, that I was cut like our Lord.

by You?reply 6703/13/2019

I like blue.

by You?reply 6803/13/2019

Father sent his Playgirl magazines to Muriel to secure my admission.

by You?reply 6903/13/2019

My mother made them pron cocktails to whet their appetite.

by You?reply 7003/13/2019

My parents submitted video tape of me dancing around the living room to the OCR of West Side Story (I was Anita).

by You?reply 7103/13/2019

Mama shaved my head and said I had Stage 4 Fibromyalgia.

by You?reply 7203/13/2019

Mommy taught me EVERYTHING I know...and DO! Muriel really had no choice.

by You?reply 7303/13/2019

My divine Grandmother Hortense , walked up to Gary Morton at Chasen's and bitch slapped him, for making his lovely Wife appear in Mame. Then she walked over and hit Judy Holiiday with her purse , for stealing that Oscar from Bette.

Meanwhile, Granddaddy was in the Lounge , chatting up Vivian Vance.

by You?reply 7403/13/2019

In the water my mother was a very skinny lady!

by You?reply 7503/13/2019

I hired an actor to play me for the interview.

by You?reply 7603/13/2019

Please to understand, I am admitted Datalounge honestly for hard study! I hit baseball, I cross street with arm of old lady, and I eat all the time big beef cheeseburger. Muriel she say she lucky for have nice all-American boy!

I do not know what is pelmeni.

by You?reply 7703/13/2019

Mother bribed Muriel with an extra quarter on top off the monthly membership fee. She is doing her taxes now, and just called down to the basement to ask me if that quarter is tax deductible: is she about to commit a federal crime?

by You?reply 7803/13/2019

I showed off my martini-making skills and recited Miss Vera Charles's monologue from [italic]Midsummer Madness.[/italic] I also demonstrated the bottoming skills I learned at The Bixby School using an ear of corn (in memory of Miss Carol Channing, one of my aunties' BFFs).

by You?reply 7903/13/2019

$10 Aldi gift card

by You?reply 8003/13/2019

daddy had to let the gay admissions officer blow him 3 times a week for a yr , to get me iinto USC.....

now, they are lovers and my momma is way pissed

by You?reply 8103/13/2019

Ma changed husbands faster than she changed bedsheets, but Gran moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo to get me my $1.50 a month here.


by You?reply 8203/13/2019

[quote]r24 My grandmother is said to have been a french-speaking great beauty and society doyenne in pre-revolutionary Cuba.

by You?reply 8303/13/2019

Mater not only showed me all her VHC copies of Helen Lawson's Christmas Specials but she also ran her 16mm private copy of the kinescope of Lawson's live special version of Lady Godiva, where the director was forced to tell the AD when he reported he didn't know how to respond to the crew complaints of how much she flashed when getting on and off the horse whether it was a matter for costuming or hairdressing.

by You?reply 8403/13/2019

My DL application identifies me as "Ted Casablanca."

by You?reply 8503/13/2019

Mother submitted my photo below, lauded my fashion sense and declared I'd be a boon to any conversation about style and decor. I dote on her and she truthfully told I'd be especially respectful and solicitous to eldergays.

We thought that might not be enough so she donated her entire collection of 1920s costumes bought from MGM auctions to the Data Lounge wardrobe department. You may choose the costume of your heart's desire for the next Data Lounge Masquerade Ball.

by You?reply 8603/13/2019

Did biddy Huffman buy the emmys she won? would not doubt it.

by You?reply 8703/13/2019

My parents were able to get me letters of recommendation from Mamie Eisenhower, Babe Paley and Sylvia Browne.

by You?reply 8803/13/2019

he felicity take the $ u spend on facelifts and buy urself a new conscience.

ya bitch.

by You?reply 8903/13/2019

I had to lie about my date of birth on my DL admission, because I'm 50 but look 30. #humblebrag

by You?reply 9003/14/2019

I said my mother is Ginny in Billing. And she cradles coffee mugs.

by You?reply 9103/14/2019

My parents paid Barbara Bennett from "Redbook" to write my application essay.

by You?reply 9203/14/2019

Mama whipped them into a frenzy of fear when my file was deemed:

by You?reply 9303/14/2019

Momma hooked Muriel up with her dealer.

by You?reply 9403/14/2019

[quote]My parents paid Barbara Bennett from "Redbook" to write my application essay.

My parents paid Alyssa Edwards as Joan Crawford to write mine.

by You?reply 9503/14/2019

Mum pretended that other breeding regions were not sparing in their efforts to acquire a good Broderick for their stables either.

by You?reply 9603/14/2019

[quote]My divine Grandmother Hortense , walked up to Gary Morton at Chasen's and bitch slapped him, for making his lovely Wife appear in Mame. Then she walked over and hit Judy Holiiday with her purse , for stealing that Oscar from Bette.

Immediate expulsion! Judy Holliday died before "Mame" even opened on Broadway, and a WELL before there was a movie version.

by You?reply 9703/14/2019

My mother showed up drunk at the admissions office and attempted to seduce Muriel with a lewd dance and a chant of "Hortense, Hortense, she's got no sense, write her name on the privy fence."

by You?reply 9803/14/2019

My cilantro nut loaf recipe, and a Michfest forum login

by You?reply 9903/14/2019

Bought the answers to the admission test.

[bold]Mr. Turk : Mrs. Dan Savage :: Nasty Pig : [/bold]

by You?reply 10003/14/2019

They purchased a huge dick for me to wear while shooting social media pictures/videos. It rotted into an odd looking piece of jerky by the end of the week.

by You?reply 10103/21/2019
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Don't you just LOVE clicking on these things on every single site you visit? I know we do! You can thank the EU parliament for making everyone in the world click on these pointless things while changing absolutely nothing. If you are interested you can take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT and we'll set a dreaded cookie to make it go away. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!