What cheating methods did your parents use to gain your admission to Datalounge?

My parents claimed I was "T" when they saw my sonogram.

That phone is just darling OP!

My mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA.

My parents called the Vatican, to get word back to South Bend.

My parents bought me a second hand copy of Judy at Carnegie Hall on vinyl from Goodwill

I’m proud to say I got into DataLounge without the assistance of my mother, Joan Crawford

My mother made me watch old movies with her mother.

My father looked like Ed Asner.

My parents sent a baby pic of me presenting hole which was taken when they were changing my diapers.

My parents didn't do a thing to help me. Everything I've achieved I did MYSELF!

My parents had an indentured servant, Griselda Medina, who did all my homework.

My parents said that I had a flair for cooking and that, even as a child, I never drained pasta.

Ma sucked all the right cocks.

Forged a letter of recommendation from Joan Steffend.

Mum threatened everyone on DL to sue them, telling them to be best and not to be bullies.

Mother promised to never bring her margarine fountain to any future social gatherings.

Claimed my father was a Blatino Husbear rather than a cis white male.

My parents donated original LP albums from the Sound of Music and Cabaret to the DL permanent collection to secure my admission.

My momma told me...if I was goody....that she would buy me....chats with bitchy queenies ( I went on to kiss a soldier)

The pearls I clutched were purchased on QVC.

Paid a proctor to ensure I got a 1580 on my cunting.

Jussie Smollett helped me write my essay on being the victim of a hate crime.

She was molested.

My parents have major stock in Big Caftan.

My grandmother is said to have been a french-speaking great beauty and society doyenne in pre-revolutionary Cuba. My father was of course a war hero then bisexual career pilot for Pan Am, horse hung with a natural athletic build and jet black hair. My mother, a starlet, was almost a victim of the Manson Family.

My mom is nice and friendly and loyal, and my (straight) dad is an ex frat/jock type who still wears his letterman jacket. Muriel’s been friends with Mom for years, but one day dad’s arm just slipped down the back of Muriel’s chair, and next thing you know they’ve been having an affair for years!

They photo shopped my baby pics to make it look as though I were born with a hairy chest, ripped abs, and pecs.

I have been able to take 3 cocks in my ass simultaneously, from the age of 17. I worked my ass for admission, no parental help at all. Of course, daddy, my uncle, and a kind neighbor trained my talents.

My dragmother stoned a pair of Muriel's XXXXXXL tights to get me my spot here and I ain't going anywhere!

They sent in a picture of me on a white fur rug, face down, and presenting hole. At 18 months of age.

My mother was the only one who could out drink Helen Lawson!!

Dear Lord in heaven!

My mother would be ashamed if she knew I was here. I got in by hanging out in the old days with a, back when just anyone could play here and everything was fabulous.

Mother and Father made sure to inform admissions that my imaginary friend was Hermes Pan.

You have to be pretty dull not to get in here as a legacy.

During my conception, Mom and Dad sang the "You're Just in Love" duet from [italic] Call Me Madam[/italic].

Note: The following is a docudramatic recreation based on actual events.

Mother managed to die in grease fire looking like a lancome ad.

The proctor was an insatiable bottom, and I shall say no more.

Twenty-two pounds of Red Dragon Cheese spread around to the right people.

My parents showed me this clip of You're Just in Love daily so that by the time I entered puberty I could work my skirt like a real pro.

My parents made us take long car rides just so we could sing along with original cast recordings of Broadway Musicals. I used my charm and lyrical knowledge to convince Muriel that I would be an asset on certain threads.

A large flat pan full of bread pudding is all it takes.

My Dad played the soundtrack to Mame, South Pacific and Camelot to me.

Mummy taught me how to avoid talking to poor people and escape the badly-dressed.

R39, the mere fact that your mother and especially your father knew who Elaine Stritch was gave you automatic DL status at birth.

I can't prove it, but I suspect they shit in Erna's mouth.

R6 Your pride is unseemly. Your mother Joan helped you in other innumerable ways that you are too ungrateful to acknowledge.

The moved in next door to Muriel and enrolled me for swimming and rugby lessons

My parents pencil-dialed Muriel repeatedly on the our luxury rotary telephone phone...

Muriel caved....

My mother gave the admissions team our last wedge of Red Dragon cheese.

My parents claimed we were some small part Native American.

My mother shoved rotting tuna up my pussy from the day I was born

Mother bought me the book "Little Me" when I was 8.

My mother wrote my admission essay on how blue the sky was that day.

No matter how much some Parents are willing to do for their children

there are some ungrateful little tramps that just refuse to be winners!

Surprise anal!

My parents bought me a complete set of Golden Girls Chia Pets

Pa lied and said I sport 8 inches straight outta da cold creek.

Mama shook her eggrolls for Mr. Goldstone

My mother is DL royalty, so there was no need for her to cheat.

My mom paid for a bunch of college educated rich kids to run my witty social media accounts and activities. Now, she is throwing an epic tantrum aided by vicodin and vodka. What happened?

My mom is in prison for that College Scam Scheme. I'll ask her when she gets out.

My mom hired a DL coach through a shady DL prep program. He said when ever you get into trouble on DL, "Eat Cookies!"

My parents paid PMBT to write my essay. I'm convinced that I got in based on one passage describing how, as a candy striper, I comforted a sleeping quadriplegic dude by hovering an inch above his face and deeply inhaling his exhalations.

I'm Meghan Markle's gay secret half brother, we don't talk anymore because I fucked her first husband. You know, the marriage that never happened. Oh it happened baby and Murial wants all the lushious details..

My dad bribed the admissions committee with items from his vintage pron collection.

Lucy was going to bribe Muriel to get me in, but Gary talked her out of it.

I was circumcised while in my mother’s womb so at the time I was born she could proclaim loudly, to the supporting hospital staff, that I was cut like our Lord.

I like blue.

Father sent his Playgirl magazines to Muriel to secure my admission.

My mother made them pron cocktails to whet their appetite.

My parents submitted video tape of me dancing around the living room to the OCR of West Side Story (I was Anita).

Mama shaved my head and said I had Stage 4 Fibromyalgia.

Mommy taught me EVERYTHING I know...and DO! Muriel really had no choice.

My divine Grandmother Hortense , walked up to Gary Morton at Chasen's and bitch slapped him, for making his lovely Wife appear in Mame. Then she walked over and hit Judy Holiiday with her purse , for stealing that Oscar from Bette.

Meanwhile, Granddaddy was in the Lounge , chatting up Vivian Vance.

In the water my mother was a very skinny lady!

I hired an actor to play me for the interview.

Please to understand, I am admitted Datalounge honestly for hard study! I hit baseball, I cross street with arm of old lady, and I eat all the time big beef cheeseburger. Muriel she say she lucky for have nice all-American boy!

I do not know what is pelmeni.

Mother bribed Muriel with an extra quarter on top off the monthly membership fee. She is doing her taxes now, and just called down to the basement to ask me if that quarter is tax deductible: is she about to commit a federal crime?

I showed off my martini-making skills and recited Miss Vera Charles's monologue from [italic]Midsummer Madness.[/italic] I also demonstrated the bottoming skills I learned at The Bixby School using an ear of corn (in memory of Miss Carol Channing, one of my aunties' BFFs).

$10 Aldi gift card

daddy had to let the gay admissions officer blow him 3 times a week for a yr , to get me iinto USC.....

now, they are lovers and my momma is way pissed

Ma changed husbands faster than she changed bedsheets, but Gran moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo to get me my $1.50 a month here.

FOR LIFE!

[quote]r24 My grandmother is said to have been a french-speaking great beauty and society doyenne in pre-revolutionary Cuba.

Mater not only showed me all her VHC copies of Helen Lawson's Christmas Specials but she also ran her 16mm private copy of the kinescope of Lawson's live special version of Lady Godiva, where the director was forced to tell the AD when he reported he didn't know how to respond to the crew complaints of how much she flashed when getting on and off the horse whether it was a matter for costuming or hairdressing.

My DL application identifies me as "Ted Casablanca."

Mother submitted my photo below, lauded my fashion sense and declared I'd be a boon to any conversation about style and decor. I dote on her and she truthfully told I'd be especially respectful and solicitous to eldergays.

We thought that might not be enough so she donated her entire collection of 1920s costumes bought from MGM auctions to the Data Lounge wardrobe department. You may choose the costume of your heart's desire for the next Data Lounge Masquerade Ball.

Did biddy Huffman buy the emmys she won? would not doubt it.

My parents were able to get me letters of recommendation from Mamie Eisenhower, Babe Paley and Sylvia Browne.

he felicity take the $ u spend on facelifts and buy urself a new conscience.

ya bitch.

I had to lie about my date of birth on my DL admission, because I'm 50 but look 30. #humblebrag

I said my mother is Ginny in Billing. And she cradles coffee mugs.

My parents paid Barbara Bennett from "Redbook" to write my application essay.

Mama whipped them into a frenzy of fear when my file was deemed:

Momma hooked Muriel up with her dealer.

[quote]My parents paid Barbara Bennett from "Redbook" to write my application essay.

My parents paid Alyssa Edwards as Joan Crawford to write mine.

Mum pretended that other breeding regions were not sparing in their efforts to acquire a good Broderick for their stables either.

[quote]My divine Grandmother Hortense , walked up to Gary Morton at Chasen's and bitch slapped him, for making his lovely Wife appear in Mame. Then she walked over and hit Judy Holiiday with her purse , for stealing that Oscar from Bette.

Immediate expulsion! Judy Holliday died before "Mame" even opened on Broadway, and a WELL before there was a movie version.

My mother showed up drunk at the admissions office and attempted to seduce Muriel with a lewd dance and a chant of "Hortense, Hortense, she's got no sense, write her name on the privy fence."

My cilantro nut loaf recipe, and a Michfest forum login

Bought the answers to the admission test.

[bold]Mr. Turk : Mrs. Dan Savage :: Nasty Pig : [/bold]

They purchased a huge dick for me to wear while shooting social media pictures/videos. It rotted into an odd looking piece of jerky by the end of the week.